STATE OF PANIC - Need reassurance

[dvcmomdeh]

I am a sucker for friends. Hmm, maybe I'm not starting this off just right.

We have 2 couples and their families invited to go to Vero next Friday. Plus, my brother, sister-in-law, twin (9 yo) nieces, and nephew. If the in-law (out-law) thing isn't bad enough. My brother has not be able to go on a vacation away from home with his kids ever, so I am looking forward to watching that. The friends have gone with us for several years. But it never fails it seems that someone always comes up with a problem the week before. Yesterday one couple (only has 1 child) informed us that their son isn't going to go. So their time at Vero will be more like a honeymoon, at my expense. Am I wrong to feel that now I don't want them to go? I have another couple with kids that would like to go.

What should I do??

 

[lillasmom]

Sounds like you are in a pickle. Talk to the couple and tell them how you feel, that you wanted this to be a family gathering. Also, I'm assuming you know why the son isn't going. If it seems like a good reason, that comes into play too. If the couple just made arrangements for him, then it seems that they may be trying to maniplulate. Either way, you need to talk with them. The bottom line is, this is your property and a vacation that you are sharing with the people that mean something to you. The question to answer is: How much do you want to rock the boat?

 

[Chuck S]

Well, I have taken several friends/family to Disney over the years on points. AS close friends as they are, everyone needs their own space...and it is MUCH easier to do that at the parks, by simply agreeing to meet for the occasional meal or planned group activity. Also, knowing that things can change, we take that risk every time we invite someone.

Generally, we all agree before the trip what kinds of things we want to do as a group, and take everything else as it comes along. Overplanning can be a huge mistake for group vacations. And I personally don't see how the absence of one child from the group will spoil anyones trip. Enjoy, relax, and go with the flow.

 

[lillasmom]

Also, just have a good time! Nothing is worth ruining your vacation.

 

[dvcmomdeh]

Thanks Kim,

I want to rock the boat since they don't go. But my heart won't come right out and say you can't go. I did tell her that I don't want them to go, because I want it to be a family VACATION time. She doesn't take clues very well. Man!! I would. It puts me in an even bigger pickle cause my points go into holding.

What are my chances of adding on to my Christmas ressie at 60 days out (AT THE BEACH CLUB). Probably not likely.

I think I'll need a tranquilizer to sleep through Vero....


See though, I am coming off a really BAD vacation from last summer... Swore I wouldn't invite people age. That is where the sucker part comes in. A couple that went last summer split up in the middle of the week. He few home on Memorial day and was suppose to come back the following Saturday and didn't. OMG!! Not another trip like that.

 

[dvcmomdeh]

Okay, I'll try. feel the flow, feel the flow, breath, see I am an over PLANNER too!

Thanks.

 

[KNWVIKING]

.... but why exactly does it bother you that one couple won't be bringing their child ? Please don't be offended by my asking because I'm not trying to say you're right or wrong. It's just that almost every thread of this type that involves trips with friends & family the problem always seems to be from guests inviting additional guests. Your thread is just the opposite.

 

[lenshanem]

I understand her concerns KNWVIKING. She was envisioning more of a kid friendly family oriented trip, not two lovebirds. LOL

 

[dvcmomdeh]

... just does. I don't agree with their reason for the son not coming. And I don't want to get into a discussion about the reason. This friend is high maintenance. I can see her wanting everyone to entertain her.

It's all probably so stupid. I shouldn't worry.

 

[rchristiansen]

Actually I think the 'honeymooners' might feel out of place by having all the kids around --- they might feel like 'Geez....you and your kids are ruining our romatic getaway' --- So if that's the case then you actually have the upperhand - by knowing this was originally planned as a family weekend - not romance. And "their trip is ruined" --- not yours...

Enjoy the kids that are there and have fun with them.


Also maybe mention to them that now that they have extra room in their room one of the other kids could stay there so you can all spread out!!!! ha ha!! See what they think about that one!!!

 

[PamOKW]

Relax, it'll all work out. I also thought you'd be saying that someone cancelled last minute sticking you with the points. Not that the details really matter, but how old is the child? Maybe they've got a soccer camp or visit with Grandma that conflicted. Rather than cancelling altogether they are still coming as a couple. If you disinvite them I think you can also take them off your list of friends. I would not be too happy to be told one week out that I'm no longer on the guest list. They still want to be included as part of the group so I think you may be overplaying the honeymoon aspect and I wouldn't let yourself dwell on it. Maybe they would offer to watch your kids one evening if you'd like a night out with just your husband. It usually works out best if large groups don't try to stay joined at the hip -- that's when the arguements and disappointment can start. Get through this trip and keep your friendship in one piece. For future trips, consider carefully whether you want a group or just your own family.

 

[Jen D]

I agree, go with the flow. It will probably work out fine. I would definitely not un-invite anyone.

 

[labst60]

I agree, to "uninvite" them now would not be very nice on your part. It would seem like you just invited them to have their child there... and if he/she can't come, you aren't interested in spending time with the two of them.

Also - this is just another thought.... you stated above that you told her you wanted this to be about families, etc... Well, granted DH and I don't have any children yet, but we certainly think of the two of us (as a couple) as a "family". I imagine that once we have a child, that definition will shift a bit, and if the child was not there, it would seem like a piece of the family was missing, but I think we would still see our time together as "family time" in a way. What I am saying is that maybe she didn't realize what you were saying... maybe she was thinking "I am spending time with my family... my husband is part of my family. Like a said, just a thought. Give her the benefit of the doubt, she couldn't be so bad, or you wouldn't have invited them in the first place, right??

 

[manning]

Also maybe mention to them that now that they have extra room in their room one of the other kids could stay there so you can all spread out!!!! ha ha!! See what they think about that one!!!

I like that one. Better yet put the kids into the studio and give them the fold out in the living room.