Starting to Get Sad

[GOOFY4DONALD]

Our 4th WDW trip is less that 90 days away. We are staying at the beach club, club level and half of me is over the moon excited (first time club level). The other half is very sad. My DD17 will not be joining us. She has been to WDW 4xs already and 6xs to DLR and she is disneyed out. Last trip she was able to bring her disney-newbie friend (who had a great time btw) but hated every minute of it. She complained most of the time about missing her boyfriend and winter formal. She was even texting during all slow rides. I know we will have a great time and DD will be happier not missing any of her friends and school but I just feel sad and a little guilty. Can anyone who has been there give me any encouragement? Thanks

 

[happymommy]

I wish I could, but if she was complaining in 2012 about missing a boyfriend, that would be when she was 15. To me that is awfully young to be like that. I hope she has an adult at home with her while you're gone.

 

[Happyjen27]

I would be sad too! I completely understand though, both from the daughter's side, and your side.

This might not be the end of vacations with your daughter though, just maybe she's off of Disney for a while. I travelled well into my adulthood with my mom, even when I was married we would go away together. When I was in college we spent 6 weeks in Spain and it was awesome. Perhaps she could plan the next vacation, it would be a great exercise in budgeting, logistics and planning ahead.

I was just talking to my husband about the fact that we only have about 10 more years of vacations with our kids before they outgrow them. He wants to spend less on our vacations and more on house projects. I want the opposite.

Thanks for giving me additional fuel to add toward diverting house project money toward vacations!

 

[Tinydancer34]

I had exactly the same problem, although my DS17 did come to florida with us this year I asked him if he wanted to go to disneyland paris for christmas (we live in uk so paris is a quick and easy trip) and he said he'd rather stay at home and get a better christmas present!! At some point they do grow into adults and have their own interests but I'm sure it won't be the last time she goes with you.
Personally I'm looking forward to alone time with DH after 17 years of putting the children first!
Have a lovely time and don't feel guilty she will be fine

 

[Gumbo4x4]

As one who visited Disney at 17 and HATED every minute of it, I can see her side. As a parent of a younger teen who will be like that soon, I empathize with you too. It's just a part of growing. For every good thing that they learn, there's sadness at the fact they're no longer that little child anymore. Such is the life of a parent

 

[GOOFY4DONALD]

I wish I could, but if she was complaining in 2012 about missing a boyfriend, that would be when she was 15. To me that is awfully young to be like that. I hope she has an adult at home with her while you're gone.

I should have stated it better. She wasn't sad and complaining because she missed him so much he was just one reason for her complaining.... There was many many reasons to complain. And she will be staying at her grandmas while we are gone coming home only to get stuff and check on the cat.

 

[JoeyEmmaMomma]

Definitely sad as a parent.

 

[Katd52]

My son was a little older when it happened but it eventually did At 19 he has decided that although he would like to still go with us to Disney he would prefer to go by himself with his Girlfriend. So he will be going on his 1st vacation to Disney alone with his GF 2 weeks after "the family" gets back from our Disney Vacation!

 

[GOOFY4DONALD]

We are planning a trip to California next summer. Ive planned this before her senior year so maybe she will want to go with us there.

 

[happymommy]

Kids are all different, too. My DD wants to go with us over spring break, but one of her best friends will be there too (we were at the same resort, the Boardwalk, last spring break, so at 15 we let them walk back together from Epcot a couple of times together, and they both loved the freedom). Same week, our son who was 17 went on a school service trip to New Orleans, and he loved the work and seeing a city with teachers and fellow classmates (small group of 10). I missed him, but knew he wanted to go do service instead, and he's just not into Disney.

I liked trips with my folks into my adulthood, when we could go. I went for 3 weeks with my mom all over Europe, and it was great. It just gets harder with school and work.

I agree to get her input on where to go, and find out what she wants to do. That's one thing I wish my folks had done more of rather than just plan trips that sometimes in high school were boring to me.

If my DD doesn't want to do Disneyworld this spring break I want to go where she wants. I'm happy just to get away! DS will be going again to volunteer - funny that senior year that is what he wants to do for spring break! I'm relieved it's not somewhere like Mexico or a party beach in Florida where he could be drinking or something!

 

[mi*vida*loca]

DS14 wants to go and has been asking to go...... but I dread the day he doesn't want to go with us anymore. I have actually been thinking about this a lot recently. With me planning this vacation, him starting high school. It makes my heart hurt.

For us right now, it's pretty much the only vacation place he wants to go. At WDW he's always engaged and has something to do.

I've brought up the idea of Ocean City MD, Cancun (all inclusive beach resort), Washington DC, Jersey Shore (which we do for day trips or short trips). He just gives me a shrug and I think it's because he will bored there with two adults and DD8. But I don't want to bring a friend along.

 

[mckelvey72]

Sad for you but I guess a part of the life cycle. We have a slightly different situation in that our kids are spaced so far apart. Boyfriend has 2 girls...23 and 14 and we have a son together who is 8. Never could afford to go to Disney when the 23 year old was younger. So she was jealous when we went the first time....she had joined the military and was set up to leave for overseas 2 days after we left for Disney. She came down for about 5 hours at Epcot with us.

Second time she was pregnant and didn't want to go.

Now this year my son and I are taking my mom. 14 year old didn't want to go as she just started high school so I am looking forward to the time with my mom and son but sad that my boyfriend and his daughter (we have been together 10 years) are not going.

But on the bright side, we have a grand-daughter now (23 year old of course haha) we I already promised a trip (we will pay) when she turns 3. So a trip is in the works for 2.5 years from now.

So it is a circle and your daughter will enter a new aspect of life and will want to go again. I try to go away with my mom for a few days each year for the last 6 years or so and I am excited to take her to Disney with her grandson.

So chin up....go and enjoy the time with the people who are going and she might even realize afterwards that she missed out and should have gone and will go next time.

 

[ajwolfe]

DS14 wants to go and has been asking to go...... but I dread the day he doesn't want to go with us anymore. I have actually been thinking about this a lot recently. With me planning this vacation, him starting high school. It makes my heart hurt.

For us right now, it's pretty much the only vacation place he wants to go. At WDW he's always engaged and has something to do.

I've brought up the idea of Ocean City MD, Cancun (all inclusive beach resort), Washington DC, Jersey Shore (which we do for day trips or short trips). He just gives me a shrug and I think it's because he will bored there with two adults and DD8. But I don't want to bring a friend along.

This is my 11 year old to a tee. I keep pushing a beach vacation for next year or a Disney cruise. He has no interest in those things, just wants to go to WDW. Which we all love but I want to expose them to other things as well. But I'm so torn over it because I know at some point he won't want to do WDW but he may decide a beach trip scoping out girls would be funner. lol. Meanwhile my 7 year old is just like I'll go wherever you say.

 

[mjkacmom]

Dd18 stopped wanted to go on family vacations when she was a teen. However, she loved cruises, because she always meets a lot of people to hang out with.

 

[lovemy2girls4eva]

oops nevermind!

 

[Ellwood970]

It was wonderful when our kids became independent as young adults but also it was sad for us realizing our job raising them was done. My wife and I go alone and our grown children are always excited to see our pictures and hear of our trip. They talk about us all going together again one day.

 

[beffiegirl]

I'm in the same boat but my DS is 13! He is so sick of Disney or any vacation really, but he does like the cruise the best. We go to Disney every year except this year, I have AP's so I wanted to come more often. I am going to MNSSHP with my DS5 and DD10, and leaving my complaining DS13 home with hubby! My hubby wasn't to mad about staying home, he's loves vacation but can be grumpy about the crowds at Disney. I wish we can be all together and have it like old times, but life keep moving and kids get older. At least my hubby and son can have bonding time.

 

[hsmamato2]

it happens..... my ds traveled with us perhaps longer than most..... but my oldest decided he didn't want to accompany us on our BIG trip for our anniversary (not Disney,the Carribean) I was sad for that part,and we all missed him (in spite of his grouchy self) And he has let us know he may or may not go on an upcoming Disney trip.... I tried to look at the bright side, free dog sitting and a ride to the airport! I look at it as an adjustment period...he is growing up, we still have our lives to live!