Spouses: what do you do to deal with bad habits they might have?

[MIGrandma]

DH does have a couple of annoying habits that bother me. 1) He has very dry, scaly feet. He refuses to use lotion so they stay dry and scaly. He takes his socks off sometimes in the evening to "rub" his feet. The next day I notice "feet crumbs" on the couch. Ick! I have to brush them off with my hand before I vacuum. Ick!

2) He has this weird thing he does with his thumb and forefinger, just moving them around repetitiously. He only does it while driving. If I am his passenger I can see that out of the corner of my eye and it drives me nuts. I just want to yell at him to stop it!

But, I deal with my annoyance over his "bad habits" because he is an absolutely wonderful guy. He must be, to put up with me! I'm sure I have some things that I do that annoy him, but he never says a word. I don't want to be a nagging wife, so I just suck it up and deal. And I know that if he were to pass away before me, I would miss those little annoying habits so much and would give anything to have him back!

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Your post has me .

DH was biting his nails on the way to his parents house yesterday. I commented on it and as always, he lets me know that he is just trimming them. I told him he could have done that the night before as I did with mine.

When we got to his parents house, we did our gift exchange and I thought it was hysterical that he got a nail trimming kit and commented that he indeed could have waited.

I'm no Saint though--I've been a nail biter since I Was 3 years old and quit after 31 years. I can't say that I planned that. I had tried TONS of times to quit only to restart. I had been in treatment for PTSD and one day after some work, I suddenly had no urge to ever bite my nails again. This was 9 months ago. Now I can't stand anyone biting their nails. But it truly is a case of me being the Pot and being bothered by the kettle.

DH doesn't have PSTD, he truly is just grooming. They make tools for that.


DH's habit that bugs me is some leg/foot shaking thing he does. It goes on auto-pilot. I don't know how, but he claims it takes no effort. But holy moses, it feels annoying. B/c it vibrates the bed, the car, the church pew. I don't like the feel or sound of it. When my morning sickness was super bad in October, I couldn't have anyone so much as wiggle the bed ever so slightly as it sent me in a tailspin. It is the only time I truly wanted to attack him for putting me in agony over that stupid habit.

The only other time I say anything is if we are at church-b/c his little foot tap/leg shake thing--vibrates the pew and church isn't meant to be a theme park ride.

 

[C.Ann]

Another widow chiming in here - who would gladly put up with any of my late DH's bad habits.. If you have already mentioned this to him in the past - and the behavior hasn't changed - then it's not going to.. The best I can suggest is ear plugs - or perhaps one day while clipping your own nails you could ask if he would like to use the clippers when you're done..

Good luck!

 

[taximomfor4]

Another widow chiming in here - who would gladly put up with any of my late DH's bad habits.. If you have already mentioned this to him in the past - and the behavior hasn't changed - then it's not going to.. The best I can suggest is ear plugs - or perhaps one day while clipping your own nails you could ask if he would like to use the clippers when you're done..

Good luck!

I am afraid to say anything to him. I don't think he will take it well, at all. I wish I could...I do feel like, having been married for 12 yrs, we should be able to talk about things. And I, personally, have a personality flaw where I always worry about what others think of me (my life's work has been fixing this problem, lol). I would HATE to repetitiously do something that bothers someone and not even know it.

Anyway, lots of pp's had good insight and I do feel better today. I think when I posted this, I was really edgy already from the hour drive (each direction) we had just taken. I was somewhat wondering if other spouses can mention that their spouse's habit annoys them, or not. And if not, how they get over a pet peeve.

Thanks, all! Nobody was nasty to me over this question!

 

[shortbun]

In the flu season, someone who bites their nails is much more likely to get sick. Ask him to stop. Why would you hold back because he's your husband and not your child? It's a germy, dangerous activity these days. You don't have to chastise him, just explain.

 

[mjkacmom]

I've been with DH for 20 years, so yes, he has some habits that drive me nuts (ask him about the time he woke with a pillow over his head when he was snoring ). Luckily, our personalities fit together well - I tell him he's driving me nuts, and he's so easy going, he just ignores me. I'm SURE there are MANY things about me that drive him crazy, but again, he's so easy going, he'd never let me know.

 

[taximomfor4]

In the flu season, someone who bites their nails is much more likely to get sick. Ask him to stop. Why would you hold back because he's your husband and not your child? It's a germy, dangerous activity these days. You don't have to chastise him, just explain.

Trust me,he will get angry and defensive, and say that he's not a 5 yr old (or something like that). Not sure if that's a typical male reaction, or just my dh (and our own dynamics). I think the flu season (and H1N1 hype) is what really made me pay attention to hands in/around mouths.