Split Checks?

[sam_gordon]

You forgot scenario 5 where one couple buys dinner one time and the other couple picks it up the next time, and people don't get all bent out of shape because one time the bill was 5.00 more than the other time.

No they didn't forget it. Your "scenario 5" doesn't fit the question.

 

[Bob NC]

I find it amusing that so many are still insisting it's rude, or anal, or they've never heard of such a thing - when over 70% of the respondents to the poll have said they'd prefer the separate checks or pay their own way option!

You realize this puts you firmly in the minority and that it's quite possible you sometimes dine with people who are wishing it was done this way?

This common sense way of thinking is really only obvious to about 70+% of us.

 

[Potato Chip]

Separate Checks

 

[sadiras]

An amusing article about this subject.

http://www.theawl.com/2011/03/how-to-split-a-check-at-a-restaurant

 

[disykat]

An amusing article about this subject.

http://www.theawl.com/2011/03/how-to-split-a-check-at-a-restaurant

Yep, a system that gives jerks an incentive to screw their friends! It's practically free!

 

[sadiras]

Yep, a system that gives jerks an incentive to screw their friends! It's practically free!

I thought it was an AMUSING article. That's all.

Anyone that was out to screw me or a jerk, I wouldn't consider a friend or go out to dinner with them.

 

[Teresa Pitman]

The article was funny, but the comment that you should just split the total evenly because it will even out over time isn't true for us vegans. My food is always cheaper. Separate cheques keeps me from feeling resentful.

TP

 

[disykat]

I thought it was an AMUSING article. That's all.

Anyone that was out to screw me or a jerk, I wouldn't consider a friend or go out to dinner with them.

Yes, I thought it was amusing too. I was commenting on the parts of the article I thought were funny.

I thought the article did a good job of pointing out that it really DOESN'T come out even if someone is ordering more than someone else. At first they start to scold the person who wants to only pay their share, then you realize they are giving it from the point of view of the person ordering more. Score!

 

[Imzadi]

It's not that I think it should be split evenly if my share was 2 to 3 times more, if it was that big of a gap, I'd probably just pick up the entire check as the easier thing to do. It's just that I probably wouldn't be going out to dinner with friends who just ordered water, no app, looking for a low cost entree type experience. When I go out to dinner with friends I think of it more of a get together celebration where we all share wine, great food and have fun. Sitting over a glass of water and eating the early bird chicken special is not a fun dining experience, and I would be very uncomfortable ordering 2 to 3 times worth of dinner.
It's not that I think a person is cheap for wanting a low cost dining experience, it's the experience itself that I would think as cheap.
Has it happened before? Sure, but usually we just don't go out together for dinner again, unless it's someone like my grandmother or a few good friends that i want to see and in that case I would just pay the whole thing so they wouldn't have to worry about the cost when ordering.

Great food can come in the form a low cost entree. Great fun with friends doesn't mean I have to drink to keep up with others at the table. Does it really matter what someone orders to pass the fun dining experience test? I put more value in my friends and the time that they chose to share with me than what they choose to eat when we go out. Who cares if one person orders steak and a glass of wine and the other just soup/salad with water? I'm just thrilled to be out with my friends.

Acklander, your post saddens me. As Mickeysgal says, WHY does what someone else orders be your concern? . . . Unless of course they are NOT subsidizing part of your meal?

I am part of a few very eclectic groups who go out to eat after meetings. The people consist of a few stock brokers, investment bankers, doctors, lawyers, (all at the higher end of the income spectrum,) down to college grad students and out of work actors who don't know where or when their next show is and are really pinching pennies to get by.

We've actually had the college students & actors turn down dining with us as they barely have the extra funds for even an appetizer out with all of us. Sometimes, some of the women don't want to be dining out and ending up traveling back to Queens by subway late at night when it would be unsafe, because they can't afford the extra $20+ to take a cab home instead. We've also had some women, who live closer, walk back home late at night, because they can't afford cab ride and don't want to chance the subway that late. Yet ANY block one walks in, late at night, could be a possible mugging block or worse. It just takes opportunity and no witnesses, which is what happens late at night.

When we know someone in our group is in these financial situations, someone offers to pay their cab ride, their meal, or at the least, offers to split an entree, so that person can afford to come along. The person offering to pay just so happens to order a couple extra appetizers to share but, they alone fully pay for, and doesn't split that cost.

These people are not moochers. Most often decline the cab ride home and will still take the subway, unless someone literally hails a cab and hands the driver several bills, so there is no debate anymore.

Many will be persuaded to come along to dinner and they order the least thing that they can afford, and pay for it all themselves. We have one of the highest cost of living in the country here. It takes a lot to make it in this city and to make it work. Everyone is at different levels along their journeys. We honor & respect that. At least, in the crowds I am a part of. They do not want people subsidizing their meals, just to dine with us. Their financial situation isn't our responsibility. Nor, do we want them declining to come along because it is expected for them to kick in extra to pay for us. Again, not their responsibility.

We are PEOPLE oriented, not wallet oriented. We don't have people at the table acting like poseurs, affording more than they really can, nor those who can afford more showing up those who can't. We'd rather have everyone's company no matter what they can afford or not afford to pay for. We all have something to share.

WE want to come out and have some happy, celebratory times, just laughing and being together. Going out together after meetings shouldn't come with a high price tag set by who can afford the most, or be about who orders what. It's about the getting together and sharing good times and hopefully several laughs. When people laugh together, financial status disappears.

If all someone orders is water and an appetizer, that is fine. Everyone having separate checks, or everyone paying approximately what they owe, (and rounding up for a nice tip to the waitress,) is the discrete way to handle it all. And that is truly respecting where each person is at.

 

[Skip2MyLou]

Acklander, your post saddens me. As Mickeysgal says, WHY does what someone else orders be your concern? . . . Unless of course they are NOT subsidizing part of your meal?

I am part of a few very eclectic groups who go out to eat after meetings. The people consist of a few stock brokers, investment bankers, doctors, lawyers, (all at the higher end of the income spectrum,) down to college grad students and out of work actors who don't know where or when their next show is and are really pinching pennies to get by.

We've actually had the college students & actors turn down dining with us as they barely have the extra funds for even an appetizer out with all of us. Sometimes, some of the women don't want to be dining out and ending up traveling back to Queens by subway late at night when it would be unsafe, because they can't afford the extra $20+ to take a cab home instead. We've also had some women, who live closer, walk back home late at night, because they can't afford cab ride and don't want to chance the subway that late. Yet ANY block one walks in, late at night, could be a possible mugging block or worse. It just takes opportunity and no witnesses, which is what happens late at night.

When we know someone in our group is in these financial situations, someone offers to pay their cab ride, their meal, or at the least, offers to split an entree, so that person can afford to come along. The person offering to pay just so happens to order a couple extra appetizers to share but, they alone fully pay for, and doesn't split that cost.

These people are not moochers. Most often decline the cab ride home and will still take the subway, unless someone literally hails a cab and hands the driver several bills, so there is no debate anymore.

Many will be persuaded to come along to dinner and they order the least thing that they can afford, and pay for it all themselves. We have one of the highest cost of living in the country here. It takes a lot to make it in this city and to make it work. Everyone is at different levels along their journeys. We honor & respect that. At least, in the crowds I am a part of. They do not want people subsidizing their meals, just to dine with us. Their financial situation isn't our responsibility. Nor, do we want them declining to come along because it is expected for them to kick in extra to pay for us. Again, not their responsibility.

We are PEOPLE oriented, not wallet oriented. We don't have people at the table acting like poseurs, affording more than they really can, nor those who can afford more showing up those who can't. We'd rather have everyone's company no matter what they can afford or not afford to pay for. We all have something to share.

WE want to come out and have some happy, celebratory times, just laughing and being together. Going out together after meetings shouldn't come with a high price tag set by who can afford the most, or be about who orders what. It's about the getting together and sharing good times and hopefully several laughs. When people laugh together, financial status disappears.

If all someone orders is water and an appetizer, that is fine. Everyone having separate checks, or everyone paying approximately what they owe, (and rounding up for a nice tip to the waitress,) is the discrete way to handle it all. And that is truly respecting where each person is at.

I wish the Dis had a "like" button.

 

[Imzadi]

Well when I come eat with you , we will get separate checks. I am fairly old, and I don't remember a time before credit cards, but my dad refused to ever use one. I don't carry cash, but do use a debit card ALL the time.

Actually, that's what I meant, too. My parents never used credit cards. (Actually, people who did get a credit card only got ONE card back then. Debit cards were definitely not invented.) Obviously, we don't have our parent's genes in the area of carrying debit cards.

 

[sadiras]

Acklander, your post saddens me. As Mickeysgal says, WHY does what someone else orders be your concern? . . . Unless of course they are NOT subsidizing part of your meal?

I am part of a few very eclectic groups who go out to eat after meetings. The people consist of a few stock brokers, investment bankers, doctors, lawyers, (all at the higher end of the income spectrum,) down to college grad students and out of work actors who don't know where or when their next show is and are really pinching pennies to get by.

We've actually had the college students & actors turn down dining with us as they barely have the extra funds for even an appetizer out with all of us. Sometimes, some of the women don't want to be dining out and ending up traveling back to Queens by subway late at night when it would be unsafe, because they can't afford the extra $20+ to take a cab home instead. We've also had some women, who live closer, walk back home late at night, because they can't afford cab ride and don't want to chance the subway that late. Yet ANY block one walks in, late at night, could be a possible mugging block or worse. It just takes opportunity and no witnesses, which is what happens late at night.

When we know someone in our group is in these financial situations, someone offers to pay their cab ride, their meal, or at the least, offers to split an entree, so that person can afford to come along. The person offering to pay just so happens to order a couple extra appetizers to share but, they alone fully pay for, and doesn't split that cost.

These people are not moochers. Most often decline the cab ride home and will still take the subway, unless someone literally hails a cab and hands the driver several bills, so there is no debate anymore.

Many will be persuaded to come along to dinner and they order the least thing that they can afford, and pay for it all themselves. We have one of the highest cost of living in the country here. It takes a lot to make it in this city and to make it work. Everyone is at different levels along their journeys. We honor & respect that. At least, in the crowds I am a part of. They do not want people subsidizing their meals, just to dine with us. Their financial situation isn't our responsibility. Nor, do we want them declining to come along because it is expected for them to kick in extra to pay for us. Again, not their responsibility.

We are PEOPLE oriented, not wallet oriented. We don't have people at the table acting like poseurs, affording more than they really can, nor those who can afford more showing up those who can't. We'd rather have everyone's company no matter what they can afford or not afford to pay for. We all have something to share.

WE want to come out and have some happy, celebratory times, just laughing and being together. Going out together after meetings shouldn't come with a high price tag set by who can afford the most, or be about who orders what. It's about the getting together and sharing good times and hopefully several laughs. When people laugh together, financial status disappears.


If all someone orders is water and an appetizer, that is fine. Everyone having separate checks, or everyone paying approximately what they owe, (and rounding up for a nice tip to the waitress,) is the discrete way to handle it all. And that is truly respecting where each person is at.

So, how do you handle the check?

 

[gina2000]

I find it amusing that so many are still insisting it's rude, or anal, or they've never heard of such a thing - when over 70% of the respondents to the poll have said they'd prefer the separate checks or pay their own way option!

You realize this puts you firmly in the minority and that it's quite possible you sometimes dine with people who are wishing it was done this way?

Another interesting jab. Why is it amusing that I live in an area and associate with people who have never requested separate checks? And for the record, most people would request a separate check upon ordering. I imagine people I dine with would ask for separate checks at that point. No one ever has. I'm not intimidating or insistent. No one has ever brought it up. We just all sit down, order, eat, and pay.

When I'm out with people, I'm more than happy to do whatever it takes to make everyone comfortable. So stop insinuating that I'm overbearing about how to pay for a check. A check comes at the end of a meal. Ask at the beginning if you want separate checks. And don't ask me. It doesn't matter to me. Ask the waitstaff. They are the ones who may care.

 

[Imzadi]

So, how do you handle the check?

We get separate checks if that is possible, or each person puts in what they individually owe + tip, plus extra for any fudge factor. No one pulls out a calculator and factors it out to a penny. The two people sharing an entree would work it out themselves what they owe.

IF the pile of bills is short, everyone usually throws in an extra $1-$2. When there are 12 people, that's $12-$24 extra dollars right there. Certainly enough to cover if one person is cheating and not paying their full portion. It is also enough to cover the actor or grad student's meal, if all they ordered was a measly entree and we said we'd cover it. (Assuming one person hasn't already offered to treat or split with them ahead of time. )

It is better for everyone to put in $1-$2 than EVERYONE paying $10-$20 to subsidize the FEW people who ordered way more. ALL the extra, when everyone pitches in another $1-$2 goes to the waitress.

But, usually, it works out that the waitress gets a tip of 20%-25% the way we do it, while the money is piled, as everyone rounds UP on their amount owed.

 

[sadiras]

We get separate checks if that is possible, or each person puts in what they individually owe + tip, plus extra for any fudge factor. No one pulls out a calculator and factors it out to a penny. The two people sharing an entree would work it out themselves what they owe.

IF the pile of bills is short, everyone usually throws in an extra $1-$2. When there are 12 people, that's $12-$24 extra dollars right there. Certainly enough to cover if one person is cheating and not paying their full portion. It is also enough to cover the actor or grad student's meal, if all they ordered was a measly entree and we said we'd cover it. (Assuming one person hasn't already offered to treat or split with them ahead of time. )

It is better for everyone to put in $1-$2 than EVERYONE paying $10-$20 to subsidize the FEW people who ordered way more. ALL the extra, when everyone pitches in another $1-$2 goes to the waitress.

But, usually, it works out that the waitress gets a tip of 20%-25% the way we do it, while the money is piled, as everyone rounds UP on their amount owed.

How do you handle the check if the party is just you and your wife/date, and 2 or 3 other couples? Do you split the check equally or do you ask for seperate checks?

 

[Imzadi]

How do you handle the check if the party is just you and your wife/date, and 2 or 3 other couples? Do you split the check equally or do you ask for seperate checks?

Again, we all get separate checks if that is possible, or each couple puts in what they individually owe + tip, plus extra for any fudge factor. No one pulls out a calculator and factors it out to a penny.

WHY are we supposed to subsidize another person/couple's meal? They CHOSE what they ordered, ate what they ate and should pay for what they individually bought. It would be the same as if they went out alone. They'd have to pay for their whole meal. The BONUS is that they get to do it all with friends.

 

[disykat]

Another interesting jab. Why is it amusing that I live in an area and associate with people who have never requested separate checks? And for the record, most people would request a separate check upon ordering. I imagine people I dine with would ask for separate checks at that point. No one ever has. I'm not intimidating or insistent. No one has ever brought it up. We just all sit down, order, eat, and pay.

When I'm out with people, I'm more than happy to do whatever it takes to make everyone comfortable. So stop insinuating that I'm overbearing about how to pay for a check. A check comes at the end of a meal. Ask at the beginning if you want separate checks. And don't ask me. It doesn't matter to me. Ask the waitstaff. They are the ones who may care.

I'm not just trying to jab you, and CERTAINLY not you personally, I honestly find it interesting that many of you won't recognize that you appear to be a minority opinion. As I said in my post, I dine with frugal people, so I don't have trouble understanding you may dine with people who are more like minded to you. However, I do think it's likely there may be people at your table silently wishing they didn't have to divide the whole check equally - just based on the percentage on this non-scientific poll who would prefer not to.

 

[BlovesC]

Why is it always the most absurd threads that turn out like this?

 

[sam_gordon]

Why is it always the most absurd threads that turn out like this?

In all honesty, where's the harm?

 

[DizzneyMom]

My coworkers know I always have cash on me. We never ask for split checks. If my sandwich was $8.99, and a drink is $1.99, I just toss down $15, and let the other people figure out things. Someones someone will collect the cash and use their credit card. Other times we all have cash.

I would never think of splitting a bill evenly. Water and a salad could be $20 at a nice place where steak and win would be $60. Why should I pay $40?