Split Checks?

[JennaDeeDooDah]

I agree.

I just can't see how paying for what you ordered could be considered cheap. It seems like the only way *anyone* would be "cheap" would be to order on the expensive side, then suggest splitting the bill evenly.

I can't, either. Paying for what you ordered is cheap, but paying for only part of what your ordered and expecting other people to pick up the rest is not cheap?

 

[U2_rocks!]

I have to admit I am really surprised at all of the people asking for split checks. I kind of associate that with little old ladies going out to lunch.

In my opinion (and the OP asked for opinions) I would find it cheap if one of my tablemates asked for separate checks and I would be a bit embarrassed. I guess I don't get what the big deal is - most of the time it comes within a few dollars. When we go out for dinner with others it is to enjoy ourselves - not to worry about if I paid $4 too much because I didn't eat dessert.

If I had a more expensive meal or ordered a drink that others didn't - I just throw in more money. Basically that is what the people I go out with do anyway. I guess if it was way out of proportion like I ordered a small salad and water then I would just speak up and say I was only putting in $10 or something towards the bill.

I live in Massachusetts if that makes any difference, and NOT in a fancy area!

A lot of people split checks according to approximately what is owed (give or take a few dollars - no biggie) - but the poll only offered an even split option. So I actually think some people on this thread may be talking at cross purposes. Splitting evenly is not at all the same as throwing in approximately what you owe.

The reason our friends and us prefer to have separate checks is that we often don't have enough cash, or we can't be bothered to do the math at the end of the evening to figure out each family's share. So much easier to check your own bill and hand in your credit card.

 

[ilovemk76]

DH has his own business too, he doesn't carry cash. I won't carry that much cash, do't like to. If we lose it, we are out. Safer to pay by CC or debit card. We don't have baby sitters anymore. THANK GOD.

Also your comment about houses in your area costing what they do, Yeah, we have that to, and up. So what. That has NOTHING to do with splitting a bill.

I love in NE Florida, towards St Augustine. Houses aren't that much now, well yes we do have quite a few that are, but before the housing crash you couldn't get a 4 bedroom with any type of space for under $500,000. Sorry, but you sound like your area is the only place with houses that much. They are everywhere.

So you exaggerated to impress the other poster?

What else did you exaggerate about?

 

[sam_gordon]

A lot of people split checks according to approximately what is owed (give or take a few dollars - no biggie) - but the poll only offered an even split option. So I actually think some people on this thread may be talking at cross purposes. Splitting evenly is not at all the same as throwing in approximately what you owe.

The reason our friends and us prefer to have separate checks is that we often don't have enough cash, or we can't be bothered to do the math at the end of the evening to figure out each family's share. So much easier to check your own bill and hand in your credit card.

Actually the poll has an option to 'split according to what you owe'... it's shared with the 'separate checks' option.

 

[U2_rocks!]

Actually the poll has an option to 'split according to what you owe'... it's shared with the 'separate checks' option.

True, I had forgotten that. What really prompted my comment though was that people are arguing over separate checks vs paying what you owe on one check too, which is muddying up the issue somewhat. It may have been clearer to have "pay as you owe" as a separate category. I realize why they were lumped together though - the thread that this one spun off of I think started out as a even split vs pay what you owe (however that is done - chip into one bill or have separate checks) issue.

 

[Hannathy]

Actually the poll has an option to 'split according to what you owe'... it's shared with the 'separate checks' option.

Was it worded this way when it first went up? I don't think it was because I voted and then went on and commented that we don't always get separate checks but just pay what we owed. I think the pay what you owe only was added to the poll.

 

[Scurvy]

I can't, either. Paying for what you ordered is cheap, but paying for only part of what your ordered and expecting other people to pick up the rest is not cheap?

I don't understand it either, but based on some posts I'm starting to think it is all a matter of appearance:

This exactly. I've never been in a situation where someone has asked for separate checks, or didn't split the bill evenly. In an area where basic homes cost close to a 1/2 million bucks, most aren't concerned over someone's after dinner latte. Appetizers are usually shared by the table, most people tend to order similar entrees, some get dessert and/or coffee, most drink alcohol (lots of places here are BYOB, though, and everyone brings a bottle of wine to share), and it all works out.

Really, when it comes to money here, I think people tend to be very generous (ie - $300 wedding gift for a co-worker). I've never been friends with any "cheapskates." Heck, my kids just got paid $100 for watching a neighbor's dog for 3 days! Nuts! It's almost a contest, who can be the most generous! When it comes to eating out, the servers can really cash in with the group tip.

I get the impression that some people don't want to look like they can't afford to pay for other people's more expensive meals on a regular basis. Or even if they can afford it, they don't want to look like they would rather save that money for their own use because that wouldn't look "generous". Maybe they think it's "cheap" to look like you can't compete with your peers when it comes to looking generous.

So many posters have said they can't understand worrying about the cost of a latte, or similar things. Maybe they just haven't encountered the sorts of differences in ordering styles that many of us have. When my family dines out with friends, it is not unusual to have a difference of around $100 or more between the least expensive and most expensive checks. That's a fairly significant difference to most people, especially when you dine out together frequently. I'm one who answered that we usually get separate checks (though we almost never ask for them; we just get them if the server asks if we'd like them) or we do the math and each pay for what we ordered. But when we divide up one check we typically aren't worried about the amount down to the penny. If everyone owes about the same amount we divide it up fairly evenly. When there is a more significant difference we are more careful with the math. We aren't worried about the cost of a latte; we are worried about the single non drinker who ordered the chicken paying five times the price of her meal each time she goes out with her friends who love lobster and martinis. I don't see anything cheap about that.

 

[design_mom]

Was it worded this way when it first went up? I don't think it was because I voted and then went on and commented that we don't always get separate checks but just pay what we owed. I think the pay what you owe only was added to the poll.

I think it was that way originally, because when I voted I thought "gosh, those are really kind of two different things."

I voted (and have already replied) that we usually do separate checks.

I don't mind chipping in for what I owe on a combined check, but I *hate* to be the one collecting the money because it always seems to come up short (this problem seems to increase with the group size, especially if it's a group from work -- I'm not sure if someone just "makes a mistake" with their math, or if someone is trying to get away with something, but it seems like the money counter *always* has to ask for more even when I know I've put in for what I ordered, plus tax/tip, plus rounded up... I think that's why so many restaurants *offer* to do the separate checks. I'm sure the server gets stiffed on the tips when that happens.)

I would be very annoyed to have someone suggest splitting the bill evenly if the orders were not *very* close though. And to insinuate that someone was cheap for not wanting to cover someone else's latte, dessert, and/or appetizer kind of makes me angry. Why should someone else cover that? If you want it... fine... but you should pay for it.

 

[sam_gordon]

Was it worded this way when it first went up? I don't think it was because I voted and then went on and commented that we don't always get separate checks but just pay what we owed. I think the pay what you owe only was added to the poll.

I think it was. I don't know if you can edit a poll, and if you do, does the OP indicate that it's been edited? The OP doesn't show an edit.

 

[Skip2MyLou]

Actually the poll has an option to 'split according to what you owe'... it's shared with the 'separate checks' option.

Thank you for explaining what I didn't word right, apparently. I guess it should have said Split evenly, or pay for what you eat/drink????

That is what I was trying to say anyway. Asking for a separate check or putting out $20 to cover my $15 portion + tip, is the same thing TO ME. I figured someone would find fault with my options Its the reason I rarely post, mainly lurk. Its the DIS, right?!

Was it worded this way when it first went up? I don't think it was because I voted and then went on and commented that we don't always get separate checks but just pay what we owed. I think the pay what you owe only was added to the poll.

I have not edited my original post.

 

[Hannathy]

I have not edited my original post.

OK thanks, hey with this menopausal brain I don't trust anything I remember any more! I have more Post it notes around here than 3M. Wasn't accusing just remembering I had to think how to vote.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Thank you for explaining what I didn't word right, apparently. I guess it should have said Split evenly, or pay for what you eat/drink????

That is what I was trying to say anyway. Asking for a separate check or putting out $20 to cover my $15 portion + tip, is the same thing TO ME. I figured someone would find fault with my options Its the reason I rarely post, mainly lurk. Its the DIS, right?!

Oh well, I voted "other" because we just ask the server to apply our amount we want to the debit card, which I suppose is the same thing as "chip in your portion".

Now sometimes the server says, "I just bring you seperate checks" which I assume is so the server receieves appropriate tip percentage or more.

I honestly do not understand "splitting a bill evenly" when someone has double plus the amount you ordered. That would infuriate me. Then again I am not made of money.

With family there is some leeway however we are going seperate due to some sibs that want us to "pay their way".

 

[U2_rocks!]

Thank you for explaining what I didn't word right, apparently. I guess it should have said Split evenly, or pay for what you eat/drink????

That is what I was trying to say anyway. Asking for a separate check or putting out $20 to cover my $15 portion + tip, is the same thing TO ME. I figured someone would find fault with my options Its the reason I rarely post, mainly lurk. Its the DIS, right?!



I have not edited my original post.

It's not a matter of "finding fault" - it's simply that as the debate unfolded it became clear that some people do see a difference between paying their way on one bill and paying their way with a separate check. So splitting option 2 would have been great. But I know the debate didn't start out that way, so who would blame you for not separating them? It's only that in retrospect (hindsight being 20/20 and all) that additional category would have been really interesting. I didn't mean to imply that there was anything wrong with the original poll at all!

 

[sam_gordon]

It's not a matter of "finding fault" - it's simply that as the debate unfolded it became clear that some people do see a difference between paying their way on one bill and paying their way with a separate check. So splitting option 2 would have been great. But I know the debate didn't start out that way, so who would blame you for not separating them? It's only that in retrospect (hindsight being 20/20 and all) that additional category would have been really interesting. I didn't mean to imply that there was anything wrong with the original poll at all!

Personally, knowing where the idea for this thread came from, I don't think the extra break out is needed. I think the point was more who finds splitting the check equally is "right" vs. those who feel they should simply pay for what they ordered.

 

[Janepod]

There is a huge difference around here between asking a server for separate checks and mentally tallying up each guest's share of a single check. We do the latter, not the former.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Not addressed to me, but these questions are so tempting:

People always pay with cash or pull out a credit card for their share.

I have *never* had a separate check anywhere and have never been asked if I want a separate check. That includes bars. NYC bars, if you're drinking as a group, there is one check. Always. Never separate checks. That's what I've seen everywhere from Ace Bar to Death & Co. to the Bemelmans Bar.

No server has ever suffered on account of us. We (my family and friends) all tip 20% around here. If anything, people try to show off just how magnanimous they are about tipping. It's like something off Curb Your Enthusiasm.

I guess what I'm trying to say is whether we split the bill straight up (4 people, each pays 25% regardless what they order) or throw in a ballpark amount for your share, we never do separate checks, have never seen separate checks, have never been offered separate checks. I just can't imagine sitting at, say, Gramercy Tavern (where we're going Saturday) and having the server write up four separate checks for the four couples who are going to be there. I can see college students maybe getting separate checks at, I don't know, a gyro place, but adults? Really? It is just not something I've ever experienced with the people I go out with or the places we go. But hey, it's the Dis, YMMV significantly.

As weird as it may seem to you to see separate checks, I'm curious how that's really any different than handing the server 1 check with 7 credit cards for her to scan or asking her to make change for several different people all on the same check. If you're each going to pay as a separate transaction wouldn't a separate check make much, much more sense? The point of one check is to make one transaction. If one individual is going to pay for the entire bill, or at least take charge & collect the $$ to give to the server as a single transaction, then a single check makes sense. Otherwise, not so much. And I don't think that has anything to do with being an "adult" or not - not if everyone's splitting the bill anyway.

 

[BonnieA]

When I go out to eat with my two best friends, we ask for separate checks. No problem.
On vacation with friends (usually 1 or 2), we put a set amount of money in the kitty. Then we pay for meals, tips and groceries out of that kitty. When that money is gone, we put in more.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Newsstands only take cash. Yellow cabs now take cards, buy gypsys don't, just cash. Street vendors (generally) only take cash. Farmer's market (generally) only takes cash. Lots of pizza places only take cash, as do other such things, like the good little bakery down the street, the bagel shop, etc. Most delis only take cash unless you're spending like $20+ (some only take cash period), etc., etc.

Here, cash would be common for cabs or farmers market. We don't really have newstands or street vendors (except outside the stadiums, but those prefer cash). But, all the other places will take plastic.

One of my own oddities is that even if I'm putting my meal on plastic, I prefer to leave cash for the tip. Don't even really know why

 

[lillygator]

fl here and sep checks, most servers usually ask up front.

 

[Andtototoo]

It's not that someone would say others were cheap, or that people are moochers (why would you keep going out with those people?!). It'd be odd and seems unnecessary and just strange.

If you do that, then you do. I never have, I've never been with anyone who has, so why would I? Also, I think it'd be strange to ask.

I mean I can't really think where I even would. At a bar? Either people serially buy rounds, or people go to the bar itself, order and pay for a drink when they want one, or someone is running a tab, or it's a thing involving waitstaff in which case I can't imagine the pain in the rear of them trying to keep up with separate checks.

At a neighbourhoody restaurant? How hard is it to simply look at the bill? I'd think they'd think I was strange for asking; I've never seen it done, though it's not like I pay attention to how other tables are paying but you'd think I'd have run into anyone doing at some point it if it were common here.

At a nice place? As Janepod said, that's just, again, weird. Usually someone pays and other people just pay them if it's being split not traded off.

If separate checks are your norm then go nuts but some of us have managed fine without and if it ain't broke...

As to the 'drama' it usually works out fine. On occasion (usually with a big group at a sports or other bar) it'll be a bit short because someone can't add or forgot something was theirs, or it'll be over because everyone overestimated. No big. People toss in extra or take back some or the server gets a really nice tip (once during playoffs our fave sports bar waitress ended up with a 50% tip). No big.

Separate checks also seems like it'd take longer, with everyone having to pay the waitstaff as what if a whole bunch of people used cards...

It's only "strange" because you don't do it. Others do, so it's not strange to them. I'd say that most of the time when we go out and it's clear that it's not a family, the server automatically asks if we want separate checks right at the beginning. So it's hardly a big deal and it doesn't take much longer. I'd rather wait and not get ripped off than zip out quickly. I guess for you, that extra 2 minutes is worth spending the money. It's not to me.

And the last time it happened to me, it was a large group of people meeting fo the first time. A subset of the group left early to catch a train and threw money down to "split the check." My $30 meal ended up costing me $80. That was $50 I wasn't planning on spending on someone else's food and drink. If that's cool with you, awesome! Congrats on the size of your expendable income!