Split Checks?

[sam_gordon]

Link to other thread?


There is a saying, "When someone says, 'It's not about the money,' It's always about the money!"

For someone to say, "You are incredibly cheap for not evenly spliting the bill," you BET it's about the money. It if wasn't, they wouldn't have a problem with another person NOT subsidizing their meal.

Here's the actual quotes... I bolded the appropriate parts...

I don't think she is in the minority. Many restaurants here will not even do separate checks - that is noted on the menu. I can't imagine being so cheap! I believe it all works out in the end - I may have a salad tonight, but next weekend have sushi and cocktails.

If someone is having financial issues, we just pick up their portion too! It works for us.

I live downtown Chicago and this is how we roll.

Yes, there are two sides - what makes your side the majority? As someone who has eaten out in restaurants with others countless times, and have never experienced separate checks, or not splitting the check equally, what makes your way the most popular way? Maybe you live in your own little world of cheapness.

By the time the thread got here, it was not only derailed, I think it was on a boat.

 

[mhsjax]

I said other because I'll do a combination depending on the circumstance.

I usually just ask for separate checks at the beginning of the meal so no one is surprised at the end. It's easy enough for the wait staff to do if you ask for it at the beginning of the meal and saves any arguments over who should pay what. But with one friend we usually get stuff and share it, so we always just give the wait staff both our cards and ask to split it evenly. I have no problem doing that if for some reason the restaurant can't separate the check or if there's a lot of sharing involved.

I don't get my panties in a bunch over it. I mean, these are my friends. There will be times that I throw in a few dollars more, there are times when they'll throw in a few dollars more. Not a huge deal to me.

I have been out with people that like to split it to the penny (and don't ask for separate checks to start with) and that drives me crazy. I swear in every situation like that we've always come up a few dollars short. I'm usually the one throwing in more because it's not worth the argument to me.

If we're out with another couple and order an appetizer for everyone to share, I also usually ask for it to be put on my bill...I guess I'm generous?

So here is the difference, when we go out it is usually 5 couples, sometimes with kids. We have 3, several of the other couples only have 1. So when the bill comes and we are at a nice restaurant our bill does and will exceed $100.00 not including tip, plus I have boys, they eat way more than the girls that are there, so yeah, I will be glad to just split, but I don't think my friends would like it very much.

I have 2 other friends and we go to dinner every few months, one of us always ends up paying for it, We just rotate, no biggie. Really it depends on the circumstance.

 

[LilKiki]

Spin off from the miffed SIL thread....


Hypothetically, say you go out to dinner with 4 friends. How do you pay?

And out of curiosity, could you comment as to your regional area.

I am honestly shocked to find out that I would be considered "cheap" because I won't pay for someone else's meals/beverages. (Disclaimer, this does not include inviting someone out to eat or offering to pay for someone's meal)

I grew up in Metropolitan Detroit area as well as rural northern Michigan. I currently live in Nashville, TN (also considered Metro, although not as large). I have never heard of splitting checks evenly. Either we pay our own way or pay the entire check.

Last year I visited a cousin for a weekend, who lives in Chicago. She invited another friend out to dinner. They chose the restaurant (I'm not familiar with the area). It was extremely spicy cuisine. I had limited choices due to health issues. I drank water. They ordered multiple appetizers, entrees, desserts, as well as multiple bottles of wine. They expected the check to be split 3 ways. I expected to pay for my meal, and portion of the tip.

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[Imzadi]

I think this is the most intelligent thing I have read, here on the Dis today. Very well said. I need a standing ovation smilie.

Thanks.






(I'll PayPal you the money later for saying that. )

Here's the actual quotes... I bolded the appropriate parts...


By the time the thread got here, it was not only derailed, I think it was on a boat.

Ooo! The Cliff Notes version! Thanks!

 

[honeylove]

I'm from Hawaii and SoCal, I always just ask to get the checks split before ordering, or unless it's a special occasion or we invited someone out we will pick up the bill.

 

[Scurvy]

Link to other thread?


There is a saying, "When someone says, 'It's not about the money,' It's always about the money!"

For someone to say, "You are incredibly cheap for not evenly spliting the bill," you BET it's about the money. It if wasn't, they wouldn't have a problem with another person NOT subsidizing their meal.

The norm in my group is to get separate checks or to pay for what we actually ordered. I've lived in several parts of the country and that's been the norm in each group I've been close to. Over the years there have been people who suggested we just divide up the bill equally, but in each case it's been someone who tended to order more than most of the rest of us. There certainly could be people who prefer to do it that way because it's just easier for the server or they aren't great with math and so equal portions are easier for them to figure out but in my experience it's usually it's because they want other people to end up paying for some of their food or drinks.

 

[leebee]

I voted "other" because it's all situation-dependent. When I go out with my friends (mom's night out... actually the MOB, Mothers of Ballerinas!), it's separate checks. We tell the server this as she starts to take drink orders (Do you need to know that this is separate checks?) so there's no confusion with either the diners or the waitstaff.

Sometimes when a bunch of us go out, we just split the bill. Usually we are out for pizza and beer, and there are enough of us that it doesn't make a lot of difference, or we tell the soda drinkers not to worry about the tip. Usually everyone just throws money on the table and the server makes out, because there's ALWAYS more than enough cash for a generous tip!

When we go out as couples (there are usually 4 couples, sometimes only 3), we usually split the bill evenly. I know that both people in three of the four couples will have drinks, but only one of the 4th couple will, but he's married to the woman who ALWAYS gets dessert when the rest of us don't. Appetizers usually get shared around, we do this with these 3 couples 4-6 times a year, so it's all good.

Regardless of who we are with when we go for Chinese or Indian food, we split the bill, but we always check first. The best way to "do" these cuisines is to order a bunch of dishes to share, and it's fun to kibbitz ahead of time, doing the ordering... but it only makes sense to split the check if we are splitting the food.

Then there's the family we are closest to. We go out to dinner with them maybe three times a month, and sometimes also have dinner at their house almost weekly. There are 4 of them, 3 of us. Usually we just put both credit cards in the folder and tell the waitperson to split the bill. Yes, they have 1 more kid than we do, but only the dad of that family will be drinking beer and both DH and I will, so it pretty much works out. SOmetimes, if somebody's kid has a friend or two along for supper, we will split the bill. Sometimes, if we've been to their house a LOT, we'll get the check. It's really no biggie... sometimes we do take-out at their house but we pay, last week they paid for the Thai food because we'd taken care of their cats and garden while they were on vacation. Their income is more than three times what DH and I earn so they are sensitive to the fact that sometimes we cannot afford to split a bill. Because we all know each other so well and spend so much time together, it works.

What I really hate is the tightwad who pays exactly what he owes for food and drink, but neglects to include tax and tip. It only took one or two times out with this guy before we decided it would always be separate checks, and someone always comments if he doesn't leave a tip!

 

[Skip2MyLou]

OP here.

So by my (very unofficial) poll that most people on the DIS request separate checks or chip in enough to cover their own. At least I know that, even if I'm cheap, I'm not in the minority on this one.

Also wanted to clarify my story on my one & only experience with splitting the check evenly. I did not JUST drink water. I said I had limited choices. It was Indian cuisine (typically spicy), I asked the waiter what the least spicy entrees were & took his suggestion. It was still too spicy for me. I nibbled on it. When the check came and it was $200, I threw in a $20 ($15 entree plus tip). Now I know why my dining companions were offended when I didn't offer more $, when I was actually offended that they expected me to pay more $ They were lucky I had cash on me, I never have cash on me unless I'm on vacation. And no, I don't plan on dining with them again anytime soon.

Link to other thread?


There is a saying, "When someone says, 'It's not about the money,' It's always about the money!"

For someone to say, "You are incredibly cheap for not evenly splitting the bill," you BET it's about the money. If it wasn't, they wouldn't have a problem with another person NOT subsidizing their meal.



.

Love it! Thank you!

Here's the actual quotes... I bolded the appropriate parts...




By the time the thread got here, it was not only derailed, I think it was on a boat.

Thank you! Thank you! I am not talented enough to do this. I know there was a few other posts, but at least you got the point across

 

[ksjayhawks]

Kansas City area--lived in different parts of midwest all my life.

Ask for separate checks or pay your share and add a tip.

 

[ladypage]

I'm only 20, so this may change as I'm older and have a more disposable income, but I voted other. Most of the time, my friends and I just take turns. A will pick up the check today, B tomorrow, and I'll do it the third night. We normally eat at the same places though, and almost always order the same thing as we normally do, so it evens out. If I'm with a bigger group though, we split it almost evenly, with a little look if someone owes considerably less. But no need to quabble over $5.

ETA: In those cases where there is a considerable difference in what each person owes, I say get separate checks. It's definitely not fair for someone who only at an entree to have to pay for apps, dessert, and drinks that they did not partake in.

My favorite place I went for this was at the movie theater with the restaurant in Downtown Disney. We went and got separate checks, but ordered a few appetizers and desserts to split, one of us (my turn) was just going to absorb the cost of those things and put it on my bill, but the waitress was able to split it up evenly between the three of us. It was great.

 

[Liberty Belle]

We always split the check unless we've invited people out to be our guests.

Being middle class with a child in college, I have to be careful when going out to eat. There's only so much money to budget for it.

 

[DeaverTex]

Unless, for some reason, somebody (or me) is picking up the entire check, we pretty much always figure out everybody's share of the total based on what they ordered. Any appetizers get split among whoever partook. And everybody kicks in something for a tip, too. Mrs. Tex says that this has been her experience too, nearly all of the time, before we met.

I'm a native Houstonian; she's a small-town western Michigan farm girl. And of course, we're in Austin now.

 

[Julylady]

Unless we are "treating", we always either ask for separate checks or put in enough to cover our meals and tip. I rarely drink (even soft drinks) and am a light eater due to bariatric surgery. I know myself well enough to know that I would resent regularly subsidizing the meals of others.

 

[aprilgail2]

I'm with you. I wouldn't want to pay for my friends filet mignon if I'm having chicken pasta, and I don't want him paying for my bar drinks if he's having water.

Yes, it MIGHT even out if you continue to go out to eat with the same people.

The whole "even split" thing to me is too easy for one person to take advantage of, and therefore ruin a friendship.

ETA: I'm in Central Kentucky.

I agree! I went out with a group of friends once- I ordered a chicken dish that was about 20.00 and a soda...they all had steak (I don't eat red meat) and bottles and bottles of wine--my 20.00 chicken dish came to me owing well over 100.00 when they all split the check "evenly" LAST time I ever did that!
I had other people that we went out with it was me, another single person and a married couple....well the check came and the married couple "figured out what everyone owed"--they split it THREE ways, me, the other single person and them- gee I didn't realize that when you got married you morphed into just one person!
Seperate checks please!!!!

 

[ols386]

Pay our own bill (as in separate bills), unless we are taking someone out for their birthday dinner or something like that.

 

[Liberty Belle]

Looks like the majority of us are living in the Land of Cheapness.

 

[chloelovesdisney]

My friends and family usually just split it evenly, it works out in the end. If someone never drinks, etc., they'll kick in their approximate amount and we'll split it among everyone else. We never get separate checks, the waitstaff don't do that around here.

 

[Styx Fan]

I voted for separate bills.

I learned about this as a young married couple. We were out of town with many members of DH's extended family...probably a wedding or a funeral. The day before the official event the folks that were already in town gathered at a restaurant for dinner. The group in included 20-something singles, young marrieds and the parents/aunts/uncles. The restaurant was not 5 star, but was a step up from like a TGI Fridays.

DH and I were just starting out in our careers, and didn't have well paying jobs. Some of our generation in the group had much more lucrative jobs and had grown up in more well off families. We were and are frugal folks and were used to eating out with friends and family where either the parent-types paid or everyone paid for what they ordered.

Some of the relatives were really into wine and ordered some bottles...kind of costly bottles. Don't remember if I drank any or not (probably not), I assume DH had a glass or 2. But wasn't consulted on the choices. As always, DH and I ordered lower cost meals, no apps or add ons. Neither of us eat large quantities and are more than full with the entree. Others ordered extra items and more expensive entrees, plus more cocktails and beers.

Yup, at the end, the bill was divided evenly. Don't know if any of the older generation bought for their kids, we didn't have a parent there. The amount we were presented with was much more than we ever, ever spent eating out and much more than we actually ordered or ate that night. Being young, we just meekly paid. But I obviously have never forgotten this.

I learned my lesson that night. Now I am the first person to speak up and request separate checks if I have any thoughts that this might happen. And I can't see how it makes anyone cheap to not want to pay for others choices. For most of our friends and families it is the most common thing to just ask for separate checks at the beginning. That way everyone can order whatever they want and all is well.

 

[Planogirl]

We ask for separate checks in most cases. I tip very generously when this happens since the server has more to do.

I'm in north Texas close to Dallas.

 

[sam_gordon]

But no need to quabble over $5.

I'd just like to point out, I'm also (although on the side of paying for what you partook) am not going to quabble over $5. I'm also not going to break out the calculator and figure it down to the penny.

If everything shows up on one bill, it's not hard to figure out, I got xxx for $12.99, a beer for $5.50, and desert for $4... I'll throw in $25-$30 (depending on available bills in my wallet) or have them ring $30 on my card.