Although I have never done the BBQ, I have done the Spirit of Aloha twice and I would say for the age of your DS and DD I would do the BBQ or the Hoop-Dee-Doo Revue. The "Spirit" is fine but the first time we saw it my DS was almost 11 and he found it boring and the kids menu limited and he is not a picky eater.
Disney Crazy Debbie
1975 - Holiday Inn, Orlando
1975 - day trip
1976 - (2) day trips
1981 - Lake Buena Vista hotel
2000 - Carribean Beach Resort
2004 - Port Orleans French Quarters
2006 - Beach Club Resort (August)