Spinoff of the Engagement Ring Thread

[LBIJim]

About two weeks ago I saw a story online directed at men about purchasing engagement rings. For lack of a better term, I'd call it a "metrosexual man's"
website. It said the guideline for price is now three months salary. The tone of the article seemed to be if you don't spend that much, you don't love your fiancée enough; you're a loser in the man department, etc.

What a crock!! Since when did the guideline jump to three months salary from two. Even two months is way too high. No guy in his right mind is going to spend that much.

Average salary for men is something like $48000. Three months of that is $12000. Getouddahere!!! Even two months is $8000. No way.

The article said the average engagement ring costs something like $5800, so I suppose most men are smart enough not to follow the nonsense of the diamond cartel.

I personally wouldn't spend anywhere near $5800, and I'd seriously consider calling off the engagement if the woman was disappointed about it. And if she dumps me for being too cheap, I'd say I dodged a bullet.

Jim

 

[maxaroni]

About two weeks ago I saw a story online directed at men about purchasing engagement rings. For lack of a better term, I'd call it a "metrosexual man's"
website. It said the guideline for price is now three months salary. The tone of the article seemed to be if you don't spend that much, you don't love your fiancée enough; you're a loser in the man department, etc.

What a crock!! Since when did the guideline jump to three months salary from two. Even two months is way too high. No guy in his right mind is going to spend that much.

Average salary for men is something like $48000. Three months of that is $12000. Getouddahere!!! Even two months is $8000. No way.

The article said the average engagement ring costs something like $5800, so I suppose most men are smart enough not to follow the nonsense of the diamond cartel.

I personally wouldn't spend anywhere near $5800, and I'd seriously consider calling off the engagement if the woman was disappointed about it. And if she dumps me for being too cheap, I'd say I dodged a bullet.

Jim

We know someone who received her engagement ring and took it back. She wanted a larger stone. My DH said that would have been the end of her. These people are still married 25 years later

 

[cassandrap83]

Average salary for a man who gets married in his mid-20s is more along the lines of $25k

 

[RitaE]

I really can't say how much most couples spend on rings. I suspect those "guidelines" were probably written by the jewelry stores.

I can tell you that from the perspective of a woman the most common complaint I hear isn't that the ring wasn't expensive enough, it's that the fiancé kept listening to the salespeople at the store rather than what style the woman actually prefers.

Most women I know have moved away from "big rock" and they care much more about getting a ring in a design that they actually want to wear every day.

 

[wenrob]

My engagement ring cost $345. With our wedding bands the total was $500. A friend of his told me he beamed when talking about the little ring I picked. Twenty three years later I still wear it though we've both upgraded bands and I have some nice anniversary rings. Still all those together doesn't even come close to that total for what is "supposed" to be spent.

 

[Lynne M]

That whole 'guideline' thing was started by the DeBeers diamond company in the 50's or 60's. It's pure marketing, trying to guilt men into feeling like they'll be inadequate and unmanly if they don't blow an insane amount of money on a huge diamond.

If a guy spent more than $1000 on a ring for me, I'd make him take it back. Even $1000 would make me really uncomfortable, if I were picking it out, I probably wouldn't go over $500-600. If he blew three months salary on the thing, there wouldn't be any engagement. There are so much better things to do with the money. I don't like solitaires anyway, I'd rather have something like an anniversary band as an engagement ring.

 

[Lynne M]

and I'd seriously consider calling off the engagement if the woman was disappointed about it.
Jim

As well you should.

 

[low-key]

rings are a waste of money, you should just show a symbol of your love by doing nakie things with each other

 

[kimblebee]

I inspired a spin off thread? Squeeee : D

The ring in question is going to be my wedding ring. My engagement ring cost $40 and is blue tungsten with no diamond. He knows blue is my favourite color so it's way more meaningful to me than a honking diamond.

 

[FlyingDumbo]

I'm not a big jewelry person. I rarely wear my wedding/engagement rings. They are beautiful, but if my husband spent 3 months salary on a piece of jewelry, I'd have been upset about that since I'm not a big ring person. Seems a bit excessive.

 

[sonnyjane]

rings are a waste of money

While I LOVE my engagement ring, I do have to say that I'm more on this side of the coin than the other!

I have a beautiful (and fairly expensive although not $12,000) wedding set, but because of my job I can't wear it to work, so I have a simple band instead. Out of the 365 days of the year, I probably wear it 10 times.

 

[stargazer2892]

Wow I feel cheated then! DH bought mine at a pawn shaop for 93$ it's from the 1920s and is perfect. My actual wedding band was $2, yes $2 from amazon and is a plain old band. If I remember correctly they are titanium, so they are super light and very durable . DH bought his at the same time which is twice the width as mine (2mm and 4 mm) and was $4, plus shipping for both was like $5. So all said and done for all 3 rings we paid 104$. I love my rings, I never take them off and can not imagine not loving a ring my DH bought me, it seems very selfish to me. Also I think if DH WOULD have spent the 3 month salary I would have been furious since jewelry isn't hugely important to me.

 

[disykat]

My engagement and wedding ring together cost about two weeks of DH's salary at the time. We felt really fortunate to be able to do that without going into debt for a ring and felt like it was a reasonable amount to spend. I still think we spent too much. A ring just isn't important to me. I still have it 25 years later, but usually only wear the band, sometimes not even that.

I ring is not something I'd be willing to go into debt for.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

We purchased the wedding/engagement/my ring all in one shot and it was right at 2 months of my salary for everything (the engagement ring being 80+% of the total). I paid no attention to the rule, that's just what my budget was at the time. I make triple what I made way back then and the $ would be a LOT harder to come by now

 

[disney4us2002]

While I would agree somewhat that jewelry is overpriced and a waste of money, I have to say that engagement and wedding rings are exempt from that policy for me. I have lost necklaces, earrings, or just lost interest in other jewelry but for almost every day of my 28 years of marriage (they didn't fit during my 3 pregnancies), I have worn my engagement & wedding rings and I do not think they are a waste of time. We got what we could afford at the time which was a simple solitaire that is right around 1/2 carat. I would absolutely LOVE a new set. My rings are small & plain compared to the current trend. I'm hopeful that for our 30th anniversary I will get the new set I really want. Even then, it won't be 2-3 months of salary which would be crazy expensive.

 

[sonnyjane]

I'm profusely enjoying the fact that at the bottom of this thread about expensive engagement rings being a crock, the two advertisements I see are for expensive engagement rings and Crocs lol!

 

[tvguy]

I had to pull out my Social Security earnings statement to find out how much I was making back in 1981. My wife's engagement ring cost about 3 weeks gross pay, about a month's net pay. That was the second biggest purchase I had made in my life at that point after my car, which cost $3,600 brand new out the door with tax and license.
My wife had no say in the ring, I never asked, which I guess was stupid. But she loves it still. But it is never off her finger except to be cleaned or repaired when the prongs wear down. Judging from how many women I work with who have lost their engagement rings, I gather that is odd.

 

[donaldbuzz&minnie]

We got married right out of college and never did the engagement thing at all. At the time we both felt strongly that the only thing that counted for us was being married. Still seems to be working after 44 years.

I think the whole engagement/ring/expensive wedding thing is great, if that's what matters to you. I just hate that the wedding industry has made it their business to make everyone feel badly if they don't do the "right" (and inevitably expensive) thing. A bunch of salespeople, just trying to sell you stuff, don't have a clue as to how to make a marriage last once the excitement of the "big day" is over.

 

[LBIJim]

Average salary for a man who gets married in his mid-20s is more along the lines of $25k

Yep....and I sure hope those guys ignore the two or three months salary guidelines.

I inspired a spin off thread? Squeeee : D

The ring in question is going to be my wedding ring. My engagement ring cost $40 and is blue tungsten with no diamond. He knows blue is my favourite color so it's way more meaningful to me than a honking diamond.

Sorry, I misunderstood your original post. The ring you pictured is lovely. I'm glad your guy knows what's meaningful for you. Best wishes on your marriage.

I'm profusely enjoying the fact that at the bottom of this thread about expensive engagement rings being a crock, the two advertisements I see are for expensive engagement rings and Crocs lol!

Yeah, I know..... Those damn banner ads.....I'm almost sorry I brought up the topic.

 

[FINFAN]

my engagement ring was a pearl from the divers at Sea World DH proposed at WDW the day before, and felt bad that he asked without a ring. I actually felt better that he asked without the hardware..more of the focus was on us, not a ring. The next day our plans were for Sea World, DH had never been and thought the pearl divers were really cool. The pearl was 2nd biggest of the day and was better set in a pendant than ring, so I had an engagement necklace . A few months later DH surprised me with an loose round diamond and asked if I would choose a setting, and a date for the wedding lol. I love my traditional diamond, but I gotta say, my pearl will always be my engagement "ring". DD was born in June and pearl is her birthstone. It was all meant to be.
3 months salary for ANY piece of jewelry is quite the investment. I imagine the guys pay pretty close attention to their Fiance's left finger once they've invested that kind of cash ! There are some beautifully unique pieces of jewelry out there tho, if there was no hardship in affording them, they should be worn and admired