Spinoff of the Engagement Ring Thread

[Pea-n-Me]

I will just say this. Seeing as these rings are something a woman will wear on her hand for a very long time, I think they should be ones that she really loves. (And I'd say the same for the guys.)

 

[Jeff in BigD]

I lucked out - I gave my DW my great-grandmpther's ring & she cherishes it.

We know someone who received her engagement ring and took it back. She wanted a larger stone. My DH said that would have been the end of her.

I'm inclined to agree with your DH.

I really can't say how much most couples spend on rings. I suspect those "guidelines" were probably written by the jewelry stores.

Yep. We went to a jewelry store to look for a ring for me. The saleswoman's attitude was so appalling that we walked out. We were very clear what we wanted - something simple & silver, but she continued to try & push us up to platinum, etc. The last straw was when I mentioned that I wouldn't wear it very often, just special occasions - saleswoman scoffed & said "Uh, are you actually going to let him get away with that?!"
DW looked at her & said "Actually, some of us actually trust our men"

 

[lizzyb]

I think thats crazy! I think DH spent a total of $2000 for both my engagement ring and wedding band and I think that was alot!

 

[okeydokey]

I will just say this. Seeing as these rings are something a woman will wear on her hand for a very long time, I think they should be ones that she really loves. (And I'd say the same for the guys.)

I agree. My DH and I picked out my ring together. I loved it then and I love it now, 22 years later, even though with our current incomes I could get a bigger ring. I will never replace it.

 

[apirateslifeforme]

I truly didn't expect an engagement ring. DH and I had been talking about getting married, but I had thought (and said) that we'd just choose a date and get married with no formal engagement. Plus the wedding ring I originally liked - for $50 from Victorian Trading Co. - would not have been able to be worn with an engagement ring. How surprised was I when he got down on one knee with a diamond ring in his hand...

I thought his shoe had come untied Never saw it coming. That's why he'd been acting squirrelly all morning!

While I didn't want or expect an engagement ring, I do cherish it. He wanted me to have it. He chose it mostly himself (with a little help from his sister). I have seen the receipt and I was a little at how much he spent, but it wasn't anywhere near 3 months' salary. I've seen that commercial and before I saw the receipt, I told him I'd shoot him if he spent that much. He definitely didn't...more than I would have liked, but it wasn't too expensive.

 

[Minnesota!]

My engagement ring cost a little over $100 with tax. I would have shot him had he spent much more than that.

A friend just recently dropped $13K on an engagement ring for his now wife. INSANITY.

 

[EvangelineG]

I agree that the two month rule is ridiculous (and now it's three?!). I agree with the PP who pointed out that the problem is with the whole wedding industry. All the silly pressure about the dress, the venue, the ring etc etc. I dislike the whole machine.

That being said my H and I are coming up on 20 years of marriage. I never really liked my original e-ring. My h proposed with a toy ring (which I loved), and then we were supposed to choose the real ring together. When it came time to choose something, I felt so horrible about how much they cost and awkward about the whole thing, that I just chose the cheapest one in the case, and it never felt special in the way it would have if my H chose it for me (even if it was still the cheapest one in the case).

My H and I have been through a very, very challenging time in the last couple of years. We are in a comfortable financial place now, and my H recently bought me a beautiful diamond. It isn't huge (1 carat), but it is absolute top quality as far as cut, clarity etc. It is breathtaking, and incredibly meaningful to both of us. It is highly symbolic as far as everything we have been through, and our commitment to each other. It is a luxury, nothing that anyone needs, but it gives us both so much pleasure, so it is worth the money to us...kind of like a Disney trip.

 

[Colleen27]

That's insane, and I'd have been furious with DH if he spent that much on an engagement ring! Three months' salary, at the time when he proposed, is about what we put down on our first house.

We got my set and DH's band at cost from a relative who owns a jewelry store so I'm not sure what they'd retail for, but DH paid around $600 for the set. And honestly, my ring is bigger than I wanted - it was a compromise, DH wanted something bigger/showier and I wanted very simple. The compromise was a classic solitaire but I seldom even wear that any more after bending a prong and nearly losing the stone, and DH suggested we go shopping for an engraved band like I originally wanted as my anniversary gift this year.

 

[scrapquitler]

We got engaged while we were in college. DH first bought me a $5 cubic zirconia ring from Caldors, which I wore for a couple months. Then he bought me a not so great $200 diamond from JCPenney which I wore for about a year. Right before we got married, he picked a wedding ring/diamond set at a local jeweler that cost about $1000 for the set. I don't wear my rings most of the time, but I wear all of them once in a while. Oh , and when I was pregnant and my set didn't fit me, he bought me an inexpensive (under $50) gold band that I still sometimes wear, too.

Jewelry is not something that I care much about and if he had actually spent the two months salary on the diamond ring, I'd be afraid to wear it.

 

[Simba's Mom]

I never got an engagement ring, nor did I want one. Maybe it's because it was my second marriage that I just didn't care. And our wedding rings were from Prime Value Mart (sort of like Service Merchandise if you remember that store). Thirty two years later and DH still wears that wedding ring (I had to trade mine in years later for a larger size). I guess you could say my "engagement" ring came for our twenty-fifth wedding anniversary-a beautiful pick-a-pearl ring set with diamonds around it. And since my birthstone is pearl, it was very fitting.

 

[BadgerGirl84]

While I think it's silly to set any type of price range on a ring based on x number of month's worth of salary...I also am not one of those people who would be thrilled to get a $100 ring or say "our love is enough...I don't need a ring."

When we were engaged, DH was probably making about 40K. My engagement ring was about $4,000--a very high quality (but not huge) center stone and small diamond set into the band. We both agreed that the engagement ring would be something I would likely wear every day of the rest of my life and it was important to both of us to have something of high quality.

I love my ring! Unless DH was broke when we were engaged...I would not have wanted a $100 ring or a CZ ring.

One thing I've noticed is girls "demanding" for a certain carat weight of the center stone...and the boyfriend not having a large budget so they get a 1 carat hunk of junk that is cloudy or poorly cut. What a waste of money.

 

[cluvsdisney]

I will just say this. Seeing as these rings are something a woman will wear on her hand for a very long time, I think they should be ones that she really loves. (And I'd say the same for the guys.)

I agree. DH took me to the store to get some ideas of what I liked then went to a jeweler and had my ring made. It's perfect & beautiful. I have no idea what he paid but he assured me it was less than the appraisal which he tried to keep from me but I inadvertently saw it on our insurance rider a few years later. If I had to guess it was in the 1.5-2 month's salary range.

 

[cluvsdisney]

While I think it's silly to set any type of price range on a ring based on x number of month's worth of salary...I also am not one of those people who would be thrilled to get a $100 ring or say "our love is enough...I don't need a ring."

When we were engaged, DH was probably making about 40K. My engagement ring was about $4,000--a very high quality (but not huge) center stone and small diamond set into the band. We both agreed that the engagement ring would be something I would likely wear every day of the rest of my life and it was important to both of us to have something of high quality.

I love my ring! Unless DH was broke when we were engaged...I would not have wanted a $100 ring or a CZ ring.

One thing I've noticed is girls "demanding" for a certain carat weight of the center stone...and the boyfriend not having a large budget so they get a 1 carat hunk of junk that is cloudy or poorly cut. What a waste of money.

I know!! I was in a jewelry store one time and this guy was buying diamond something. I can't remember if it was a ring or a pair of earrings but I do remember him saying my budget is $x and I want the biggest diamond I can get, I don't care about the cut, color or any of that stuff. I can't imagine what he ended up with.

 

[Ismo]

We got engaged without a ring, it was more of a mutual understanding that we needed to get married. We both just really wanted to be together we talked about marriage and decided that was the next step.

For our 5-year wedding anniversary my DH surprised me with an "engagement" ring. He knew I never wanted a diamond as they're just not me. He ended up getting one custom made. It's a traditional solitaire with 2 small diamonds on the side and a few in the band, but the center stone is a cushion cut Alexandrite. I love this stone because it changes colors in different source light. He went with a lab created Alexandrite as real ones can cost more than diamonds. And as we're saving for a few things at the moment I think he knew I'd get mad if he spent too much!

I absolutely love my ring and I get stopped everywhere I go with people asking me about it. It's unique and it's very "me" but it definitely did not cost what a diamond solitaire would.

It used to be that engagement rings were whatever your birthstone was. But I guess women started getting jealous that some birthstones cost more than others. Which is sad. Your relationship and love shouldn't be a contest with other couples.

I guess I just think that engagement rings are a beautiful symbol of what you have together and they should only have to be special to you as a couple.

 

[Ismo]

Wanted to quickly add before anyone gets the wrong idea and thinks that I'm "dissing" people who have diamond engagement rings, I'm definitely not!

My point was mainly that the engagement ring only needs to be special to the couple. Diamonds aren't for me but I know lots of other people who love them.

My favourite part of asking people about their engagements is how it happened and how they felt. If they have a ring to go along with it I'm sure I'll gush over it and say how beautiful it is. If they're faces are lighting up talking about it and showing the ring off then it is beautiful no matter what.

 

[Simba's Mom]

It used to be that engagement rings were whatever your birthstone was.

I didn't know that-that's so cool! So I guess that means I'm just being a "traditionalist".

 

[Arielle22]

DH and I got married young. My engagement diamond was more of a diamond chip. Together with the bands I think it was $400 (1984). After around 8-9 years, we bought a second set of bands since the first ones were badly bent (I kept the first set in my jewelry box).

Another 10 years go by and I replaced DH's band as an anniversary gift. It was a much heavier band (all our bands were gold though) and he loved it. The following year he gave me a matching band that he had small diamonds placed in. I loved it!

 

[lizzi6692]

My engagement ring was nowhere near 3 or 2 month's salary but it was fairly expensive(around $1000). I think it was completely worth it. It's been almost 4 years since he proposed and I haven't taken it off for more than a couple hours at a time since. DH picked it out but he did have me look at a jeweler's website and show him things that I liked or didn't like. I think he picked the perfect ring. Our wedding rings are very simple and we didn't get them until a few months after we got married. They're matching white gold bands and we both wear them all the time.

 

[mrsdrake625]

Who the heck asks? "How much was your ring?"

 

[threeboysmom]

I agree. DH took me to the store to get some ideas of what I liked then went to a jeweler and had my ring made. It's perfect & beautiful. I have no idea what he paid but he assured me it was less than the appraisal which he tried to keep from me but I inadvertently saw it on our insurance rider a few years later. If I had to guess it was in the 1.5-2 month's salary range.

This exactly. I let my (then) fiancé know my preferences ahead of time, and he had something designed for me taking into account my preferences, but also his likes as well. The result was an absolutely breathtaking ring that combines both of our styles and most likely in the 1.5-2 month's salary range.

I am NOT the type of girl who would have been okay with a cheap ring or no ring at all! Seriously. I would definitely had thought twice about marrying a guy that wasn't financially stable enough to buy a nice ring for me. Fine jewelry is very important to me, especially a ring that I will wear on my finger 24/7 for the rest of my life.