Spin-off: Funeral costs

[mjkacmom]

I know this might sound bizarre, but one way to save money is to order the casket through Costco. From the reviews, the caskets is hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars less expensive than those offered at funeral homes. And the quality is as good or better than what's offered at funeral homes.

This is a great option if you know the end is nears, looked into it for my dad but didn’t have enough time to get it delivered.

 

[Meriweather]

No idea what they cost.
We (DH and I), do not want a funeral, viewing or anything like that. Cremation and be done with it.
It's in our wills, so hopefully the kids will honor it. I do think they will because they don't like funerals either

 

[BlueStarryHat]

My uncle's one night viewing, cremation, and urn cost $8,500. This was in 2020. When my Mom died in 2006 it was $6000, and it was for the same sort of service except for the cremation vessels- I made those.

God only knows what it'll cost when I go. I do want a viewing and a cremation. No urn. My final instructions are that I'm to be placed in with my Mom's ashes.

 

[Kennywood]

When I was a teenager and living at home, I would be the one to shovel and salt the driveway. My dad said that if I died, he was going to have me cremated and have my ashes scattered on the driveway. That way, he could get one, last use out of me! LOL
(Before anyone has a stroke, my dad was kidding....I think....I hope.....lol)

 

[mumto3girls]

My mom died last August. She had a 1 day viewing, service at the funeral home and procession to the grave with a short graveside service. The cost to the funeral home was about $8000 and that included the casket and flowers. The only extras were the officiant fee, the fee to open up the grave (parents had purchased graves years ago and I have no idea what those cost) and the luncheon that followed. We also catered a meal the day of the viewing between the viewing sessions for immediate family and out of town family/close friends. Oh, and my dad is selecting a grave marker for the both of them. That has not yet been paid for and I have no idea what the cost will be. He thought he had to wait a year for the ground to settle but recently learned that is not the case. My guess is altogether it will end up costing roughly $10,000 maybe a little more.

ETA: plus the cost of the plots—those were bought years ago and I don’t know what they paid.

 

[Donald13]

Long Island here and I want to say it cost around $15k for my fil to bury his mom. But it was a big to do with the viewing and the burial.

 

[NotUrsula]

My eldest sister and her DH died within weeks of one another a few years ago. My sister was notoriously no-fuss; she loved a party but hated formality, and she hated spending money on what she deemed unnecessary things. She researched the subject carefully and determined that the most economical way to go out (if you'll pardon that expression) was to donate her body to a medical school. The school that she and her DH chose was a private one, and in exchange for medical use, the University agreed to pick up the remains from the place of death, and also paid for eventual cremation, though there was a delay of a few months before the ashes were returned. As her DH was an eligible veteran, both of them were interred in a single grave provided by the VA. The family held church-centered memorial services for them at the time of their deaths; as they were parishioners, there was no charge for that beyond a donation. I think that all totaled, the cost was around $600 for both funerals, so I'd say that my sister managed that very economically.

BTW, IME cremains usually come in a plastic box that is lightly glued shut, and once you cut the seal, inside that is a tied plastic bag. If you plan to inter them somewhere, an actual purpose-made urn is not necessary. For my MIL's interrment, I just went out and bought a pretty, inexpensive wooden box large enough to hold the entire thing and left the plastic container sealed. We buried the whole box. (It was about 12" x 8" x 8"). I think it cost around $20, and it looked nicer at the graveside service, which was the only time it was seen.

 

[tvguy]

About $3,500 in 2013 for my mom's final expenses.
My mom left written instructions on her final wishes. She included suggested limits on spending based on what she paid for my father's funeral in 1967. Prices had gone up a bit in 2013 when she passed away. She didn't want us to spend more than $200 on a casket. The cheapest casket was almost $1,000. She didn't want any services*, but the minimum charge from the Funeral Home still was $1,500. She would have been livid that the cost of transporting her 100 miles to the cemetery was $750....they charge so much a mile and it was a 200 mile round trip. Opening the grave cost $100.

*She left it to us if we wanted graveside services. But she was interred with my father in a National Cemetery that hasn't allowed graveside services in decades. Not sure what that would have cost if we had elected to do that.

 

[Micca]

Here's an affordable urn, and it's good to the last drop!

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Here's an affordable urn, and it's good to the last drop!
View attachment 660553

Donny!!

 

[Micca]

Donny!!

I was going to post the video of the "Memorial scene" but there's some NSFW language toward the end of it.

 

[SandyinMonterey]

In 2021 my Mother passed. She lived in NJ. Her wishes were to be cremated and that was done in NJ and cost of that and marble urn was $3500. We took her ashes to PA to be laid to rest next to my father. My Mom wanted just a few words and a prayer at the cemetary and her ashes in a cofffin, that cost $8000 (included flowers). My father passed in 2003, was not cremated. His funeral cost $8000 but that was viewings at th funeral home, service at the church and cemetary expenses and flowers.

 

[Dan Murphy]

Here's an affordable urn, and it's good to the last drop!
View attachment 660553

Donny!!

I was going to post the video of the "Memorial scene" but there's some NSFW language toward the end of it.

I don't know the movie, but the thought is comical.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I don't know the movie, but the thought is comical.

What! It’s a must-watch! (Cult classic, The Big Lebowsky, and one of our favorites!)

 

[Micca]

I don't know the movie, but the thought is comical.

John Goodman and Jeff Bridges go to make funeral arrangements for a deceased bowling buddy, the cheapest thing they have for ashes is $180. Goodman's character balks at the price and asks if there's a Ralph's nearby (So Cal grocery chain.) Cut to the next scene where Goodman and Bridges are on an ocean-side hilltop, Folger's can in hand, where they are going to say a few words and scatter his ashes to the sea. As he begins to dump the ashes a gust of wind comes up and...it may well be the funniest thing I've ever seen.

 

[disykat]

There was something to be said for a Covid memorial I guess. Dad's cremation and everything totaled about 3K and that includes a spot for mom's future interment. We did a family only outdoor memorial at his interment with no luncheon afterwards. We did little gift bags of dad's favorite foods with a booklet of anecdotes about them for the 18 people there. We ordered photo cards and sent those along with a copy of the obituary to the people who sent gifts, cards, or we thought would probably have attended a service. We paid to put the larger memorial column in his local paper. In the end, we felt like we memorialized him appropriately and it was kind of a relief not to have the emotions of the big public service. It was certainly easier on my mom. We're rethinking what we'll do for mom when she passes and will probably keep hers to a less limited group at an outdoor interment followed by a luncheon. If we do have a full church service, we may try to honor both of them at that time?

If my dad had passed younger and healthier, we would have really missed having the big service. However, his world had gotten so small over the last 15 years due to his dementia it felt appropriate to just have the people who were still part of his world. Now that mom lives near me, when we take her home to be interred, she won't have even lived there for however long and was pretty isolated for 15 years before that.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

My dad passed away in 2019. The bill from the funeral home was around $11,000. That included embalming, a casket, private viewing for our family and prayer cards for the memorial service. It also included transportation for him to a cemetery just over 2 hours away. My mom's family has a row of four gravesites near my mom's hometown. When my grandpa died in the 50s, the owner of the cemetery talked my grandma into buying a site for herself, my uncle and my mom. My dad decided he wanted to be buried double-deep in my mom's grave. The top spot is reserved for her (many years from now, we hope!). We also paid the cemetery to open the grave and deeper than the standard grave. About a month later, we had a memorial mass and luncheon at a restaurant. The total for the entire funeral was around $15,000. Dad was worth it!

 

[HopperFan]

I obviously live in the wrong place!!!

Mom, Dec 2020, so no funeral or viewing.
They allowed immediate family 15 minutes to see her before graveside.
Funeral home on property of cemetery.
Her minister spoke.
Plot paid for in 1976.
Purchased least expensive casket.
All the prep work for her so family could see her but cost was minimal.
Plaque for grave.
No gathering after.
$16,000.

Not sure what it would be if we had a funeral and viewing.

 

[RedAngie]

I received a junk mail ad for AARP Life Insurance. It says the average traditional burial service in 2021 cost $9420. Cremation with a service averaged $6970.

My parents bought their burial plot and pre-arranged and pre-paid many of their costs. Mother died in 2012 and father in 2015. Middle of the road, nothing too fancy, cost them about $22k for both.

Plus there were a few added expenses at the time, maybe $500 to $1000 each.

 

[msjprincess]

We paid $12K for my grandmother's 5 years ago and about the same for my father 13 years ago. They already had a plot and the wake was only for 1 day.

I think I actually paid more for my mother's 25 years ago. But that included a plot, back then wakes were 3 days, we had a limo. I think it was $14K.