Special Needs Parents...FYI

[gatrbait]

I originally had this in my trip report (May 8-12) but thought it might do some good out here on the boards:
My son is a special needs young man (17) and I made it a point to book thru DCL so I could make sure any info I gave them about my son was passed onto the counselors. Well I made sure I was in the first wave of people getting onto the boat and went up to the Aloft and to my surprise the counselor knew nothing (I found out later that guest services had all the info it just never made it to childrens services). After that I just didn't feel comfortable sending him there so he never went. Later in the cruise I took him into Wavebands with me, and was kicked out. I had been told by a few of the DCL reps that as long as he was with me and he didn't drink he was allowed to go. More wrong info. All this broke my heart as my son will not be able to take advantage of the clubs again. I spoke with Guest Services and after being tossed back and forth between guest services and childrens services I finally got to speak with the guest services manager(Nicole) and she was very nice and sympathetic. She had a few Stitch items dropped off in our room and that was a great surprise to my son(he loves Stich).
Please don't get me wrong, I love Disney and we both enjoyed the cruise. My son didn't know what he missed and had a blast, we spent some very wonderful together time. What bothered me is I knew the difference, I knew he could of had more fun, made friends, and come back with even more memories.
Micky

 

[spotdog]

I'm sorry to hear that you and your son felt uncomfortable using the Teen program. I know from experience that Disney does try to accomodate everyone, but sometimes the young CM's don't always know appropriate ways to accomodate some people living with disabilities. You did the right thing by going to the supervisors and managers, that is how they learn.

I hope you and your son were able to enjoy the shows, food, ports and other Disney magic.

 

[spotdog]

I have also found useful advice on dealing with any of my special needs at the disAbilities forum.

 

[gatrbait]

Please understand it wasn't the teen councelors fault it was just another glitch in the system, guest services had all the information I gave, the CM there read it word for word... it just never made it to the childrens services. I was told the only reservations that are flaged are those with a medical form, since my son has nothing medically wrong there was no need to fill one out. My son looks "normal" and has a severe speech delay..most just think he is quiet but some make fun of him. I felt that if I couldn't trust Disney to get the information to the right place how could I trust them to call me if someone was making fun of my son or if my son just wasn't interested...call me over-protective if you would like but this trip was for him and I didn't want one second of it to be ruined for him.

 

[Doctor P]

IMHO, your expectations were unreasonable and you put yourself in a position where you were wide open for disappointment. I do understand your concern, and I am very sorry things were not as magical as you would have liked. But I really think you need to sit back and ask what YOU could have done differently. Frankly, if I were in DCL's position, I would not have shared the information with the counselors given the way it was transmitted. In retrospect, I think you would have been better served having the conversation with the counselors yourself in person, and should have done it when the opportunity presented itself. JMHO. Hope there is a next cruise for you and that it is more magical.

 

[Talking Hands]

I would think that I would have filled out the medical form due to his special needs. Speech delay can be considered a medical problem. This would make sure that the information was given to the proper people. I also would have spoken with the castmembers in the LOFT and explained his special needs.
Seems that information given to Guest Services at DCL (on land) don't make it to the proper people on the ship in a timely manner. Had the same thing happen with my allergy to aspartame. Informed them way before the cruise and even had it on the medical form but nothing was conveyed to the food service people so they could have an alternative (Splenda) available and diabetic desserts available without aspartame. I was able to avoid the aspartame but had no sweetener or desserts on the cruise that I could have. I ended up cheating and increasing my insulin injections to compensate.

 

[gatrbait]

IMHO, your expectations were unreasonable and you put yourself in a position where you were wide open for disappointment. I do understand your concern, and I am very sorry things were not as magical as you would have liked. But I really think you need to sit back and ask what YOU could have done differently. Frankly, if I were in DCL's position, I would not have shared the information with the counselors given the way it was transmitted. In retrospect, I think you would have been better served having the conversation with the counselors yourself in person, and should have done it when the opportunity presented itself. JMHO. Hope there is a next cruise for you and that it is more magical.

How would you have handled it? I asked prior to even booking the cruise if this would be a problem and at that time I did speak with the councelors supervisors landside. I was assured that any information I attached to my reservation would be forwarded to the counselors on the ship. To cover myself I did exactly as you said and went up to the councelors in aloft as soon as I boarded the ship (I was purposely about the 10th person on board). I believe in my heart and mind even after sitting back and asking myself what I could have done differently that there was nothing else I could have done, even DCL agrees. I made everything very clear and I didn't let this ruin our trip I just simply dealt with it and went on. Like I said my son didn't know the difference and we had a fabulous time. I am sure there will be a next cruise and I am sure we will have even more fun...he will be 18 and there will be no question about who he might hang out with. I simply posted this so others would know, that is until DCL changes as they say they are in the process of. Everyone is justified in having their opinions, but something seems to tell me you know nothing of my shoes. Have a great and magical day!!
Micky

 

[gatrbait]

I would think that I would have filled out the medical form due to his special needs. Speech delay can be considered a medical problem. This would make sure that the information was given to the proper people. I also would have spoken with the castmembers in the LOFT and explained his special needs.
Seems that information given to Guest Services at DCL (on land) don't make it to the proper people on the ship in a timely manner. Had the same thing happen with my allergy to aspartame. Informed them way before the cruise and even had it on the medical form but nothing was conveyed to the food service people so they could have an alternative (Splenda) available and diabetic desserts available without aspartame. I was able to avoid the aspartame but had no sweetener or desserts on the cruise that I could have. I ended up cheating and increasing my insulin injections to compensate.

I was told by DCL that if my son didn't need Medical Attention on a normal basis, meaning (as they explained it) if he was on any type of medication or could possible need medical attention for his handicap fill out the paperwork otherwise it wouldn't be needed and I was basically told not to. When I say I spoke with Guest Services...I mean I spoke with DCL Guest Services on the ship...Grant was his name and he read to me verbatim what notes were in his computer. I was told at that time that Guest Services and Childrens Services computers were not linked and yes this was a problem and Nicole the Guest Services Manager actually thanked me for alerting them of this problem.
I feel as I am being beat up here for my post...I simply wanted those who had special needs to be alert of the problem. I asked for nothing, Nicole was very gracious in dropping off some gifts for my son and we both thanked her personally with in the half hour, along with a thank you note as soon as we returned home.

 

[ladytampa]

Gaitrbait,

I personally think you did everyone a favor by letting us know what happened to you so that future cruisers with the same situation could avoid diappointment and/or prevent the same thing from happening to them. Thank You.

 

[gatrbait]

Thank you Lady Tampa...
Have a wonderful day!!
Micky

 

[Doctor P]

gatrbait,

I certainly was not trying to beat you up and apologize if it made you feel that way. As someone with a chronic illness that sometimes requires special attention, I do relate to the communication difficulties you encountered. However, given the situation, I would have reacted differently I think. I would have taken the time to start at square one orally with the counselors. In addition, before getting on the ship I probably would have prepared a short "bio" introducing your son to the counselors and explaining your perception of what special attention he might have needed. This is because I would have never ASSUMED that everything was OK once I sent the note (or whatever you did to get it into the computer). I just think that this would have increased the chances of your son being able to go off on his own to the teen club and giving you peace of mind in sending him there. Thanks for writing about your experience. Hopefully your experience will help you and other families enjoy upcoming cruises.

 

[suesings]

Hi Micky,
So when you boarded and went to the Kid's Club (not sure if you went to the teen one?) did the CM's make you uncomfortable or seem irresponsible, unreceptive, etc?? I would think that you would have wanted to say to them personally (regardless of sending your note) just to make sure each CM understood completely, "My son has speech problems and I want to know immediately if anyone is teasing him or he seems lonely, uninvolved, etc."
As a mom I know how horrible it is when your child is teased or feeling lonely so I sympathize with you greatly. We are cruising on May 28th, our first with our two little girls and I am really hoping that the CMs are caring, interested people whom I feel comfortable talking with prior to dropping my girls off.

I guess all I mean is I personally like to talk with each person who will be interacting with my children. I like to get a feel for who they are and give them any feedback as to our children's personalities.

Take care!

 

[gatrbait]

Dr P - Apology accepted. My son has no physical illness. The only time he goes to the dr. is for physical's and normal ailments. For the most part I treat him as if he had no handicap. One exception is when I know he will be around others that may have a tendency to "freak out" and make fun out of their own adolecent insecurities and ignorance that we have all experienced one way or another. I never sent any written literature regarding my son, I did however speak directly to DCL (as I have already noted). I spoke with the DCL reps and the councelors shoreside supervisors. Each time I started to panic (which I did alot) I would call DCL and was reasured each time. Dr. P, I did my homework and I felt I did everything I could possibly do. By the way DCL does not let you speak directly to the councelors b/c they never know which ones will be on your particular cruise plus they are usually at sea.

Sue- The CM (only one, Liz, in Aloft at the time) was wonderful and no she didn't do anything to make me feel uncomfortable or that she was irresponsible. I was just broadsided by the fact that for 6+ months I had prepared and made myself perfectly clear on what my son's handicapps were and what my fears were (nothing outrageous I assure you), then to show up and find out that all that was a waste and the only information Liz had was his name and age put a question in my head. Any parent is guarded when they leave their child somewhere, with a question planted in your head you are even more guarded. Parents of special needs children are at least twice as guarded, especially when he cannot tell me why he is upset, etc. I weighed the information I had ( 3 councelors total in Aloft and a sold out cruise) and made the decision that my son would be hanging out with me instead. This was no problem what so ever b/c he hangs with me alot anyhow and this was all about him in my eyes.

Let me say to the positive that the CM's everywhere (servers, room stewards, etc) were wonderful. There was a table next to ours full of special needs adults. I was in awe of the attention they received, nothing to make them feel abnormal, moreso patience and kindness. Kudos to Disney in that aspect...in this world of cruelty and hate there are special people who shine with kindness.

Micky

 

[Doctor P]

gatrbait,

With due respect, your answer is indicative of the reason you had a problem, IMHO. I wasn't talking about speaking with the counselors before you got on the ship!!! As I recall, they have an open house to meet the counselors on the day you board. On your cruise, the number of counselors for the teens is a finite amount, also, based on our experience. I would have talked with them after I got on board, and the idea of the intro "bio" was for the counselors to possibly pass it on to those you might not meet at the open house. Anyway, this is water over the dam, and I, again, hope your next experience is a better one.

 

[jweiss]

We are major DCL fans (obviously, having taken three 7 days, and this summer, the 14 day). However, I have been disappointed with how the kids club CM's have dealt with my daughter who has special needs. She does not have a physical disability....as a matter of fact, many refer to hers as an invisible disability. I was originanly told just to talk to the CM's when we got on the ship. I did so, and it didn't seem to do any good. Several times I went to check on her and found her in tears.... Anyway, we love DCL any way, and she didn't spen any time in the clubs last summer. I was hoping she might be able to do a bit in the teen club this summer, but will have to see what kind of a reception she gets..... We haven't let it ruin our vacations, but it sure would be awesome if DCL had some sort of a protocol for these kinds of situations....

 

[Karel]

My son has a learning disability which involves reading way below age level and a moderate speech disability. He has been on two cruises and never had a lick of trouble in the clubs or with other children.

Both times, the lab, I mentioned it to the head counselor and noted it on his registration sheet. The first time I was very nervous about his leaving the club on his own - I could see him totally getting lost on the ship - and did not give him sign out priviledges. They were very good about paging me when he needed me or the club became too much for him.

The counselors in the clubs are the ones that need to know and you need to have the conversation with them, not desk people. I've worked with enough organizations, including at our school, to know that a lot of times information does not make it from point A to point B. I would never feel comfortable talking about my son's care with people who were not going to be directly involved with him.

 

[Karel]

I was originanly told just to talk to the CM's when we got on the ship. I did so, and it didn't seem to do any good. Several times I went to check on her and found her in tears. Anyway, we love DCL any way, and she didn't spen any time in the clubs last summer. I was hoping she might be able to do a bit in the teen club this summer, but will have to see what kind of a reception she gets.We haven't let it ruin our vacations, but it sure would be awesome if DCL had some sort of a protocol for these kinds of situations

As I'm sure you know, there's are all sorts of special needs. It's hard to have a set rule to follow. Lots of kids need different things and need to be handle different ways. You know what works with your daughter because you've spent x amount of years with her. It's got to be tough for the CM's who have only known for a short period of time to know the exact steps to handle a situation.

Was it her choice not to spend time in the clubs? Was she in tears because the situation was too stimulating and overwhelming? I can imagine that the clubs can be overwhelming for a lot of sped kids.

 

[wide awake]

My DS is autistic, 14, and I would never leave him in the clubs. I don't think the CMs are trained to deal with different disabilities, and as a teacher I know that other teens would probably make fun of him. That would destroy DS and myself. DH and I trade off, each giving the other time to do the most wanted activities. Have you thought of taking a close friend or relative with you so that you can maybe do some spa or adult excursions ? I don't mean this to beat up on you, just trying to help.

 

[gatrbait]

Dr P- I am guessing at this point we should agree to disagree.. as I am over explaining myself and you not getting my point. I am a passholder to WDW and have been for 10+ years, I love Disney and always will, one hiccup will not change all the other experiences I have had with them. I hope you to have many happy returns with Disney.
Micky