Special kids on board

[wide awake]

Hi Mickeymom1,
My son was diagnosed over 10 years ago, and my emotions are still close to the surface. There is nothing silly about it. There is nothing worse that can happen, the pain is something you never get over. I've talked with other moms, and we always say that any diagnoses we got ourselves would be nothing...bring on ovarian cancer, liver cancer, etc... really horrible prognosis things...to us...anything but autism to our children. You make these bargains with God, but I have yet to be hit with any illness, and my child is still autistic. I can't imagine anyone on staff would be insensitive...what I always worry about are the other kids or the parents that have the idea that they should not be exposed to children with special needs. Talk about losers tempting fate !!! What I am trying to say is not to apologize for your sensitivity...you love your child, and you are experiencing a natural reaction. And with all the sadness, it is important to enjoy what you can, and to help your child have everything that is in your power to give him. We had a wonderful time on our cruise, and my son adored it, and that is all that matters.

 

[LisaJoy]

I just wanted to thank everyone so much for taking the time to post!
Wideawake is right, your sensitivity and heartbreak never go away- my boy is 11 and you'd think I'd be able to pass a little league field full of laughing boys and not cry by this point, but I still do- it never stops hurting. And around this time, about four weeks pre-cruise, I was having some serious self-doubt as to whether I bit off more than I could chew with this trip- if Spencer is miserable I can't very well leave, and I thought he'd have no chance to do the clubs. So thank you all for making me feel better with your stories, now I have some hope that perhaps he could go for a little bit and that the CMs are sympathetic and want to help. A trip with Spence is always a bit of an adventure but he usually surprises me by doing very well, so cross your fingers, all!
If anyone has any other tips or advice, feel free to post! Happy new year to all and kiss those delicious kids for me!


Lisa

 

[SweetSpot]

LisaJoy:

It's true that our kids never cease to surprise us by being able to handle situations we never thought they could. My emotions are still very close to the surface when I have to deal with the way people treat my autistic son. I don't expect the CM's to have to do anything exceptional to allow my son a chance at normalcy but I expect them to give him a chance and I am willing to help in any way I can. I have found that many, many times it is the so called "normal" kid that will cause problems but no one will question their participation because they don't have a diagnosis attached to them.

As an example of how when they deal with our kids... Duane from Trinada was one CM I will never forget. He was exceptional. One night the club was telling what was described in the Navigator as "true and haunting stories of lost ships and squandrons.." on deck 7. My younger son was looking forward to going my my autistic son was determined that these were "true" stories and was scared to go. If the Navigator said these stories were true than they must be. When we went to drop off my younger son Duane wanted to know why my autistic son wasn't participating and when we explained he pulled him aside. He told him that the stories weren't really true and now he was in on the secret. He had to keep the secret and he could enjoy himself watching everyone else get scared but know that they were getting scared over nothing. He went and he had a wonderful time. This is only one example of how they take the time and have the patience to understand our kids.

A couple tips to make the trip easier:

Prepare your son for the lifeboat drill. It's not bad but it is crowded and noisy and just the nature of preparing for disaster is scary. My son knew what to expect and was fine.

Bring earplugs. You might never need them but if you do you won't be able to find them anywhere on the ship. We lost our set the first cruise and the CM's tried getting them from workers in the engine room (see they are amazing) but they weren't available. Luckily, a CM from another age group heard they were missing and remembered a child playing with what could have been the ear plug case and then throw it in a trash can. They searched the trash cans and found the ear plugs.

Allow for down time. My son loves cartoons and we found time everyday for him to watch cartoons and decompress.

Allow him to eat whatever makes him happy. We have a no veggie week. My son had Mickey waffles for breakfast, a hamburger for lunch and chicken fingers every night. We called it his cruisual. On the second cruise he was more comfortable and he tried some new things along with the cruisual.

Bring along whatever makes him comfortable. My son drinks orange soda, they don't have it, we bring it. He has a favorite stuffed animal and he loves gameboy so we had them along too.

You will have a wonderful week. We rebooked both times while onboard because I needed to know I could spend another week like that again. I felt "normal" for the first time since the diagnosis. The Magic is an amazing place for families like ours.

 

[smchan]

Fantastic tips here. Thanks everyone for sharing. I've got a 6 year old son who's high-functioning austic. He's very verbal, can express his needs but has trouble socializing and is frightened by loud noises. I never thought about the life boat drill, for example.

I'm wondering if Disney wouldn't let Noah (my 6 year old) hang out with his brother, 4. They play well together and Josh "takes up" for Noah as needed.

Sam

 

[mickey squared]

We cruised in Sept. 2003 with my 2 autistic boys, 2 typical girls, and 1 therapist. Talk about a lot of work. I needed a vacation after my vacation! If we go again, I would take 2 therapists, but then we run into problems with cabin size. We had a suite last time which we needed for downtime, and space. My kids never really used the clubs. My 3 yr. old son went with his therapist for a couple of hours on two days. My 8yr. old son was afraid and didn't want to go near the entrance. He is non-verbal, so I really don't know why. We missed dinner three nights and ended up having pizza. They loved the pools, so that's where we spent most of our time, and the huge tub in our cabin.

 

[SweetSpot]

smchan:

My son was 13 this year when we cruised and we put him down into the 10 - 12 group because his younger brother would be there to watch over him and because he wasn't ready to hang with the teens. DCL doesn't have a problem with letting a child go down an age group but they don't let them go up. I would stick my son who will be 14 for our next cruise in the 10 - 12 again except he is 5'5" now and really will stick out. Next year will be more interesting.