Speaking of pools...silly dilemma

[Melrosgirl]

This is so silly, but I want opinions please

We put an in ground pool in last year. We have some friends who don't have a pool, but have a pool membership at a place that has a yucky pool (huge, but it's so filled with people that it's always dirty, dirty looking).

Well, of course, we invite these friends over here and there. Every time I invite them over, one of them says "sure, we could go to your pool OR you can come to our pool, but it will cost you $5 a person to enter.")

I always smile and say well our pool is "free," so just come over here and I'll provide lunch or whatever.

This happens every time I invite them.

My question is do you think this is weird? Is something wrong with my pool? Why would I want to pay $5 a person to attend their pool when I just spent (way too much) money for my pool? Plus I'm not charging them of course. We live near eachother, so I know it's not a travelling inconvenience for them (or us).

Am I looking too much into this or do you think my friends are just trying to be polite?

thanks!

 

[Disneymoon04]

I'm sure they are just trying to be polite, letting you know that although maybe not the best option, you don't always have to be the host.

 

[Keli]

I think Disneymoon04 is probably correct. I know it seems kind of an odd way to do it but it appears to me also that they are just trying to let you know that you don't always have to be the host although they understand why you would want to be.

 

[Serena]

I agree. It sounds like they are trying to be nice.

 

[Melrosgirl]

thanks. you are all probably right.

So what would you do then? Take them up on their offer for their community pool (and pay the $5 per person fee) or just turn them down and say well why don't you come over here instead?

In other words, am I being rude if I continue to say no thanks to their offer of going to their pool and paying the $5 pp?

 

[SuiteDisney]

They're trying to be nice. They don't want you to think that they're using you for your pool. I'm sure they'd rather be with you in your pool rather than all of you having to swim with a bunch of strangers. Just keep doing what you're doing.

Or you could sit down with them and say something like - I know you're not using me for my pool, but we'll all be happier here so why don't you just come over and we won't bother with the public pool.

 

[allshookup]

No I don't think you are being rude I think you are being very nice. I think it's rude to be invited somewhere and instead of accepting graciously you turn it around and say "or you could go to our club and pay $5.00 a person". If they want to extend the invitation they should do so when you are NOT inviting them.
Plus this is just MHO, but if they do invite you....shouldn't they offer to pay? I mean if it's an open invitation to join them anytime then I could understand they wouldn't dish out $5.00 everytime. I also think if it's worded in such a way that someone says "you are welcome to JOIN us" and you are not actually formally INVITED and we are talking a large sum of money....like a trip to DW that would be different also. But in most circumstances, maybe I'm wrong here, I thought it was proper ettiquete to pay expenses when you are doing the inviting?

 

[Beth E. (NJ)]

I have to agree with the consensus that they probably feel bad that you are doing all the hosting. I'm sure they would much rather be at your pool then at a overcrowded community pool.

When they come to you do they bring anything? Lunch perhaps? It might help even the odds for them.

 

[piratesmate]

I agree with most people here. It sounds like they're trying to give you an "out" for always being the hostess. Next time, why don't you say something like "It's so much quieter here. We can visit with each other a little easier this way...but if you'd like we can make it a pot-luck." Or offer to let her "clean her house" during the winter & host your get togethers then.