Speaking of disciplining other people's kids...WWYD?

[emma'smom]

The other day at church, another mom said to me "By the way, your little one was trying to trip your big one. So I put out my arm andtold her to knock it off! Hope that's ok."

I appreciated the fact that she told me and it really didn't bother me. She knows both girls from church. It did get me to thinking, when is it ok to discipline someone else's child? I mean, at church, i don't have a problem telling the kids (including my own) who run around during fellowship hour to calm down when they get rowdy. I wouldn't be offended if the other parents called out my kids when they get wound up. I figure that they mean well adn there are always lots of people around. However, I know most of these parents to some extent....some better than others.

Where's the line?

 

[metime]

The other thread got me to remembering an incident that occured at Epcot last year.

I was at the Germany World Pavilion - in the miniature train section. To my shock, a boy had climbed OVER the railing and was prancing around in the train display. Then he picked up one of the miniature trains and held it over his head, laughing to some friends of his who were obviously nearby. He looked to be about 11 or 12. You could tell he thought he was a big shot.

I watched him for about a minute and it was clear no adults were going to stop him. So the TEACHER came out in me and I said (in my "teacher" voice)..."You get out of there THIS. VERY. INSTANT." He quickly climbed out and I asked him, "Do you think you're setting a good example for the little kids around here?"

To give this boy credit, he was very polite and said, "No, ma'am. I'm sorry." I said, "Think it over next time, please." and we parted ways.

I'm generally against disiplining other's kids, but in this case, nobody was around to do it. I didn't see any cast members nearby, either. What would you have done?

I don't think you did anything wrong. But you probably didn't take a threatening posture or intimidate him.

It doesn't bother me if some one stops my child from doing something they shouldn't in fact if I am not around I would prefer it, but if they use fear and intimidation to do it I will be mad. I am pretty on the ball and usually my kids are the ones pointing out how bad others are being. My kids uaually know better, but they aren't perfect.

I coordinate a homeshcooling group and one of our rules is "if another parent witnesses your child not following the rules or about to hurt themselves and others they are allowed to redirect your child if the parent is not near by."

I have gone up to other people's kids and said "hey you shouldn't touch that, maybe you should go stand by your mom" I have tapped a shoulder and quietly put my finger to my lips to say "SHHH" when we are on a tour and a guide is speaking.

I don't yell, I don't wave my finger, if it is a repeatedly ill bahaved child I will ask the parent not to come back to anymore events unless they can keep a better eye on their child.

It happens and I have yet to encounter anyone who wouldn't want a caring adult to prevent their child from doing stupid things.

There are adults who do take on the persona of a monster simply because a child is smaller and that is never OK. There is a very wide gap between concerned citizen and brow beating bully.

 

[ElizK]

Like Buckalew11, I have a teacher voice even though I'm not a teacher.

WAYYY back when on the Dis debate board I posted about a situation that happened at Target. Two girls, maybe 11 or 12, were going through the girls section just rearranging all the racks. Not a big deal, just creating a mess for the sales clerk to have to clean up. In my teacher voice, I said, "Ya'll need to cut that out." Said calmly, not loud, just matter a fact. About 10 mins later as I'm standing in the checkout line the mom tracks me down, and she reads me the riot act. She didn't care what her kids had been doing, only that someone else told them not to do it!

I'd still do it again if the need came up.

 

[Took]

If a child is misbehaving and there is no adult in sight, you can bet your bootie I'll say something. Otherwise, I'll only step in if a child is in danger of being hurt and his/her parent doesn't seem to care.

Ditto. I won't say anything over a small issue, but I would have spoken up as the OP did, over an issue of safety and flagrant violation of rules/decorum. Besides, I LOVE the train at EPCOT.

Took

 

[Took]

Normally, I would not say anything. I would look for a CM to take care of the situation. I did, however, get involved a couple of years ago.

A little kid at DTD was trying to stomp on a little lizard. Of course, the lizards are fast and the kid missed. I told him, nicely, please don't do that. He just looked at me and went after it again. The poor lizard was a long way from cover. The second time, I wasn't as nice. I told him that he was not to do that and that the lizard had feelings too. He just kept staring at me, sort of looking for his opportunity. The third time he tried, I stepped into his space between him and the lizard and very loudly told him no. By this time, other people were looking. Other adults started telling the kid he shouldn't try to hurt it. One lady sort of started herding the lizard to safety while I had the kid cornered. The funny thing, the parents were sitting there the entire time. When the lizard had finally reached safety and I started to move on, the kid went running to a couple sitting a little way off. They had seen the entire thing and did nothing.

You can push me a long way, but DON"T MESS WITH THE LIZARDS!

Cruelty to animals really irks me, too, so I'm glad to you spoke up. Why will parents tolerate cruelty (Michael Vicks' parents probably did, too).

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I likely would have done something similar.

If a child is doing something dangerous or otherwise inappropriate such as what you witnessed, I have no problems speaking up if it is clear someone isn't fixing the issue. If there is an adult enjoying the fun, then I would find a CM in that case.

If a child is risking harm to my family (say they were flinging an object that was a little too close to me as an example)--I speak up immediately and I don't wait.

This is a far cry from saying something when a child is having a tough moment and I simply don't like it. IT really doesn't cause danger to have an upset child and that is a "mind my own business" moment.

I don't think you did anything wrong.

 

[BeachGirlFLA]

I think you did exactly the right thing.