Speaking of diamond engagment rings.....

[NY Disney fan]

I did not want to ruin the other thread but if I ever get married again, I do not want an engagement ring at all. I would just want a simple, unadorned band. I want it to be all about the relationship and the marriage. Does anyone feel the same? In my former life (when I was married) I was privileged to own a platinum and diamond set (with more diamond than platinum). I never wore my wedding rings when I was married and ended up wearing a gold band instead. Why? 1.) I was scared someone was going to jump me and steal my rings. Irrational fear, yes. But I had to constantly turn my rings around so no one would see. Plus I also wore a diamond eternity band so I couldn't turn that one around. 2.) I was embarrassed to have such excess on my hand that outshone my mother's/grandmother's/aunts. They all had plain bands and here I come with cha-ching, bling! The source of my embarrasement came from having my rings given to me (without my knowledge or consent) but picked out for me (by surprise) by my former mother in law, who helped my ex-husband pick them out. I originally wanted a sapphire ring but didn't get it.

So, does anyone have opinions on the excess of engagement/wedding rings?

 

[GoodFairies]

I am not a fan of engagement rings. I have said if I get married I too would prefer just a wedding band.

I am disgusted by the diamond industry - the monopoly, the inflation of prices, the human conflict - all of it.

I'm also not a fan of a woman "having" to display she is taken while the man does not.

For those that choose to get an engagement ring, I do like the trend of non-diamond rings that seems to be very in style right now.

 

[Pakey]

I have a 2 ct in a platinum setting and absolutely love it. It was not my original; I hated hated hated the one my husband selected and gave to me. After being married many years and only occasionally wearing it, I told him how much I hated it. Now I have the ring I want. We have been married for 25 years and the jewelry has nothing to do with the success of our relationship.

 

[HM]

I like my rings and I never take them off. My engagement ring is a very simple less than 1 carat solitaire and suits me well. Since then I've added my plain gold wedding band and two anniversary rings.
I understand where you are coming from though.

 

[MerMom60_94]

I didn't respond on those threads because I don't know, and I don't think I have ever wanted to know, what my ring cost. My diamond is a quarter carat which is probably small by most peoples standards but it holds all the value in the world to me. This is a ring chosen for me and given to me out of love from my husband. I think I know where you are coming from though, because I agree that it is the feeling and the sentiment behind the ring that matters to me.

 

[Belle2667]

In my opinion, spending big bucks on an engagement ring is kinda foolish.....especially when a young couple are just starting out.

That money can be better spent saving for that first house or for other essentials when first getting married and sharing your life with your SO.

Years later when you've (hopefully) grown in your careers and life experiences, an affordable anniversary ring would be nice.

Personally, it seems that too many people get caught up in the size/type of ring rather than what that symbol really means. Maybe I'm the odd man out, but I'm perfectly happy with the $80 pearl ring I picked for an engagement ring 20 years ago and I do not need anything more to show other people that my DH loves me.

 

[Angelhalo]

I love my wedding and engagement rings. I don't feel unsafe or gaudy. If others don't want them that is fine with me but I don't like when people act like those who do love theirs have a less meaningful marriage. Or that all we care about is our flashy jewelry. My husband picked it out and paid for it, so if he was happy with what he spent, then so am I

 

[NMAmy]

I'm not a jewelry fan. For my first marriage, I had the traditional engagement ring and fancy band. I gave all those rings to dd when she turned 18.

When DH asked me to marry him, I requested no engagement ring and I just wanted a plain, wide gold band for a wedding ring.

He took dd and I to WDW instead of an engagement ring

 

[My sister's princess]

I love my engagement ring, but really understand what you are saying. I feel like some people, not all, are trying to prove something when they have the HUGE ring sets. It does get to the point where it isn't even pretty anymore, just gaudy. I keep going back in forth right now while wedding band shopping for this very reason. I like the extra sparkle, but we are young, and there is time to upgrade.

 

[NY Disney fan]

I love my wedding and engagement rings. I don't feel unsafe or gaudy. If others don't want them that is fine with me but I don't like when people act like those who do love theirs have a less meaningful marriage. Or that all we care about is our flashy jewelry. My husband picked it out and paid for it, so if he was happy with what he spent, then so am I

I started this thread to talk about how the excess of current engagement rings. I wasn't talking about yours. If you love yours then consider this thread to have no meaning for you. I was hoping to discuss amongst like-minded people.

 

[Angelhalo]

I started this thread to talk about how the excess of current engagement rings. I wasn't talking about yours. If you love yours then consider this thread to have no meaning for you. I was hoping to discuss amongst like-minded people.

Whoa whoa whoa as we have spoken before on the board and in PM I figured you would probably know that I am a pretty open-minded person. I wasn't bashing your thread. I didn't see a sign that "said keep out if you like your ring". Nor did I say that you were wrong or that you were one of those people that assumes someone's marriage doesn't mean as much if they love their rings. I was just stating an opinion. It wasn't directed at you in any way. I didn't realize it couldn't be an open minded conversation and that only people who agree were allowed to post. Sheesh.

excuse me

 

[GoldieSaysMeep]

So, does anyone have opinions on the excess of engagement/wedding rings?

I have some very strong and often unpopular ones.

My 1st marriage happened when I was 21 and lasted less than 6 months. I had a 7000 diamond and platinum ring/band combo and a 80K wedding. This was all to a man who was 10 years older than me, and who smacked me 1 week after the wedding. I left him that night. Took 6 months for the annullment to go through.

13 years later I am engaged to the man of my dreams. He's a devoted, loving, hard working, good man who treats me like gold.

He's also, for lack of a better phrase, dirt poor. And I could care less. I make enough to support myself, I don't need him to buy me fancy bling (which I don't like anyway). He makes enough to pay his bills and scrape by with enough left over for fun.

My thought has always been "would I buy this for myself with my money?" and if the answer is "no" than I don't want FI wasting his hard earned money on it.

So many women get ridiculously caught up in these multi thousand dollar rings and weddings that cost more than my car. It baffles me and always has. I didn't even want the first wedding...my mother did and paid for it. I had NO SAY in what happened. I showed up. That was it. Didn't even pick my own dress.

This time, FI and I are getting married on Halloween (my favorite day) in a gothic castle themed banquet hall (he does Ren Faires) and we're spending less than $3000 on the whole shebang, including our honeymoon to...location is secret...he'll tell me the morning on our way to the airport! My dress is being ordered online. It's my dream dress and it's $450 (which I feel guilty for spending). My FMIL is making our cake. Our friends are taking our pictures (they'll be better than stuffy pro ones, for sure). My engagement ring is a black diamond set in white gold. Perfect. He spent less than $500 CASH (not credit!) on it.

I'm all about thinking about our relationship and our financial security in life, and not how much bling we can afford. Personally, if I had that kind of $$, I'd choose to spend it on travel or buying a nice house.

I know at least 3 friends who married young, and are now divorced and still paying off their 1/2 of their exes debt, some of which includes engagement rings they no longer even have...

Maybe it's weird, or just this area, but around metro Boston, most of the women I know seem to be the breadwinner and the financially responsible ones, not the guys. Not a man slam--Just how it is in my circle. I know a lot of girls who are the main breadwinner. Also, of all the happily married couples we know, NONE (literally not a single one of our 4 close friend couples) of the girls have diamonds in their engagement rings. 2 have saphires, one has some sort of light green stone and I have a black diamond.

 

[DisneyFan32WI]

I am not a big fan of jewelry. I actually believe I look better without it. IF I did like jewelry, however, then maybe I would have a completely different opinion.

I also have very small hands and fingers. My ring is a size 3 1/2. I couldn't possibly put a large ring on that size of a finger.

I agree with others about spending so much when you are first starting out. I definitely think that money could be better spent on other things. At the very least-a savings account.

 

[NY Disney fan]

Angelhalo, not looking to argue. I know you are cool. I think I just wrongly took offense.

I had a 7000 diamond and platinum ring/band combo and a 80K wedding.

Please tell me you sold them and got sweet revenge on him.

 

[hiwaygal]

IMO jewelry is a very personal decision.

While I have to admit that BIG SPARKLY RINGS have an appeal the fact is that my short stubby fingers would look stupid wearing them.

Kinda like the runway fasions...they look great on 6'2" 120lb models. Not so good on 5'2" more than 120lb me.

Aside from how it looks on you, everyone has a personal preference. I like yellow gold because, to me, it looks like a very precious metal...and while platinum and white gold are just as precious, they remind me of less precious metals and that's just my opinion.

I also like very simple designs but with a unique and subtle twist.

That said, if someone wanted to give me a 5ct diamond, I would not refuse it!!!

 

[GoldieSaysMeep]

Angelhalo, not looking to argue. I know you are cool. I think I just wrongly took offense.




Please tell me you sold them and got sweet revenge on him.

Nope. I wish I had! I just gave them back to him since even though he was the crazy one who got drunk and smacked me, I was technically the one who ended the marriage.

Good riddance.

 

[ginna74]

I don't have any rings nore does hubby and to be honest we don't care. It isn't a big deal with us and we still are married lol. I think I would probably loose it if I got one lolol

 

[MusiqChic99]

I am not a fan of engagement rings. I have said if I get married I too would prefer just a wedding band.

I am disgusted by the diamond industry - the monopoly, the inflation of prices, the human conflict - all of it.

I'm also not a fan of a woman "having" to display she is taken while the man does not.

For those that choose to get an engagement ring, I do like the trend of non-diamond rings that seems to be very in style right now.

My fiance wears a ring...the ring that he will wear when we are actually married. We know we aren't getting married for a while but we both wear rings.

 

[apirateslifeforme]

When I was married, I did have the traditional (albeit square-cut) diamond engagement ring, and a gold wedding band with teeny tiny diamonds in it. Honestly, they really aren't my style.

I have given some thought to what I prefer now, as I am now with The One and we've talked about our future. We've seen TV shows and commercials where it's all about the diamond ring, and in talking about them, I sort of made it clear that I don't particularly like diamonds. That said, I do have my great-grandmother's diamond ring that I would like to have fixed. It's basically just a diamond chip in a plain silver Art-Deco style setting, but I think it's beautiful. It had to be cut from her finger, though; hence needing it fixed.

Or, I would love this ring...the square one on the right; the style is called "Constance," which was my grandmother's name:

Or this one, that says "Yours Only" inside:

 

[Kit'smommy]

I have a 3/4 carat deco engagement ring. It is platinum and is lovely. Unfortunately, I feel it is too fragile to wear everyday and I would love to have the stone set in a newer and sturdier, but similar setting. The old mine cut diamond is really beautiful and I do like having a stone that someone else obviously loved wearing.

My everyday ring is a reproduction platinum and diamond eternity band with a lot of engraving. It is just sparkly enough, but comfortable to wear.

Apirateslifeforme, I love that band...