Disneyland to Hollywood
Well we got up to another beautiful day and were off again so I finished packing and we got Bell Services to come and take the luggage so that we could go into California Adventure Park to do Toy Story Mania and California Screamin. We managed to get into the park for around 10am (park opening) and headed straight for the Boardwalk. While the rest of them started queuing for Toy Story I went and got fast pass tickets for Screamin. We thought the queue was so long because the ride hadnt yet opened but we were wrong, even though we thought we were early into the park the queue was still well over an hour. Mark went to see if he could find something to eat, as we were hoping to find a stall or cart selling pastries or fruit that we could grab on the way in but there wasnt any, and he was feeling a little strange, unfortunately he didnt find anything. It was a shame that Mark missed the ride as it was really good fun and better that Buzz Lightyears Space Ranger Spin that all the family enjoy, there is a variety of things to shoot at and you get a different colour splat to the person you are sitting next to so its easy to see where you are hitting.
After Toy Story Nicholas, Lucy and myself went on California Screamin, I wasnt too sure what Lucy would make of it but she loved it and screamed all the way round (this is a good sign by the way). When we came to a stop she punched the air with delight and the guy helping us out said another satisfied customer. Alexandra and Mark stood and photographed us as we took off.
When we finished on these rides we walked back to the hotel to collect the car and start the drive to Hollywood, via a Walmart for some more underwear!! Still no washing done! It was easy enough to get to Hollywood but we were quite amazed at how big and sprawling LA is. Once off the interstate it was a short drive to Hollywood Boulevard where our next hotel was. It was strange seeing Captain Jack Sparrow sitting having a cigarette at a back entrance to somewhere and even stranger when he realized that the kids were watching him so he waved and winked. There was Batman walking across the road and various other characters that I cant remember just now. The Hollywood Roosevelt looked as old and boxy as the pictures and it didnt get much better. Once we left the car with the valet and went to check in the day started to take a bit of a down turn. Although there were only two people in front of us being served we were still at the check in desk for about 1 hour. The guy who was seeing to the rooms was also concentrating on everyone else being checked in and trying to sort their problems out as well, was it because we had kids. We were certainly not made to feel welcome. The first problem was yet again we didnt have connecting rooms or even rooms close together then they didnt have the two rooms that we had booked at all so they ended up giving us a junior suite which had to have a roll-a-way bed put in for Lucy and a small box of a room next door. The whole décor was quite dark and there were candles on almost every surface in the public areas of the hotel, the walls were dark brown and the corridors were quite small, in fact it was rather claustrophobic. Alexandra and Nicholas were going to go into the box room but when it came time to go to bed neither wanted to so I went in with Alexandra and Nicholas shared the bed with Mark. After we had found the rooms and decided who was going where we went out for a walk to Mels Drive In for some food. When we were walking along Hollywood Boulevard Lucy managed to walk into some scaffolding, which rather worried Spiderman who was climbing the said scaffolding and a man who was handing out leaflets for coach trips to see the stars homes, she looked rather dazed and had a bit of a bump but was very brave and didnt cry for long. This was quite an experience and was probably one of the worst meals of the whole trip. Alexandra had a stomach ache so really just wanted some plain pasta, which they only did as a kids meal, but after we explained to the waitress the situation she checked with the manager and it was agreed that she could have it. Lucy had fish and chips in a car. Nicholas had a toasted ham and cheese sandwich, Mark had meatloaf and I had chicken with mash potato (smash) and vegetables (squash). All in all it was food and filled a hole but we decided that we probably wouldnt go back. After eating we walked over to the Hollywood and Highland shopping centre. We saw the hotel that we wanted to stay at, the Renaissance, and decided that it would have been a much better choice. There wasnt much in the shops that we wanted to look at so we got some drinks and went back to the hotel. Needless to say because we felt so uncomfortable at the hotel we didnt go down to the bar for a drink we watched some TV and then went to bed hoping that tomorrow we would find some nicer places.
Show me the way to Camarillo
Nicholas, Lucy and I woke up around 7:30am and we are all hungry so wash and dress quickly before heading down Hollywood Blvd to the local McDonalds. This turns out to be a contentious decision on our part as we leave the girls to sleep in the box room. Deb is already awake at this point but doesnt want to leave Alexandra alone in the room, which is understandable given her reluctance to sleep in it in the first place. Of course we werent to know this and think we are doing the right thing especially as Deb isnt a McDonalds fan at the best of times and only eats there when she has no other choice.
We follow the famous stars that are embedded in the sidewalk all the way down but the kids only recognise Tom Cruise. If the truth be told there are a few stars that I havent heard of either. We pass a couple of homeless people on our way and I feel Lucy squeeze my hand a little tighter. I would feel uncomfortable on my own but with the kids in tow the feeling is much worse and I really dont like it here. The restaurant is reasonably busy for this time of day but as we already know what we want it doesnt take long to order. While we are waiting a very odd looking chap stumbles out of the bathroom and I do my best to avoid making eye contact just in case it upsets him. I am also thankful that I went to the toilet before we left the hotel. I only hope Lucy and Nick did the same, as I have no idea what we might find? There are signs on display saying that you can only stay for 30 minutes but that doesnt stop a homeless gentleman from sleeping out of sight in the corner. We find a spot that has a few empty tables around us and I hope that we are not disturbed by anyone or marked out as potential targets. It didnt take us long to finish our meals. Correction, it didnt take long for Nicholas and I to finish our meals but Lucy was eating at a casual pace, picking off miniscule amounts of pancake and staring into the distance in some kind of food induced coma, seemingly oblivious to our surroundings. We do our best to gee her along but it makes little or no difference so we both sit there and hope nothing goes down while she finishes up. The walk back to the hotel is busier now and we do our best to keep our heads down and ignore the people handing out flyers for various Hollywood tours. Before we left the UK I thought that we might do something like that but the reality is unappealing and downright seedy. There are also more beggars awake now but thankfully they leave us be.
Deb and Alexandra are getting ready in the main room and they are anxious to know where weve been. Given our surroundings I cant blame them. I know that if the shoe had been on the other foot I would have been frantic with worry. We leave the hotel and decide to go for a drive to get our bearings, fill up with some petrol and look for the outlet centre in Camarillo. We pass the Viper Room and famous Roxy where every 80s hair-band you can think of has either played or been discovered. Greg sometimes hangs out here when hes in town but it doesnt look like Id fit in without a serious wardrobe change. Its amazing how quickly the line is drawn between the poor and wealthy areas of Hollywood. Its almost like an invisible line is drawn across the road and we soon find ourselves in a leafy green and spotless Beverly Hills, altogether:
Thats where I wanna a be
This is more like what Id been expecting. The houses here are suitably mansion-like with long drives and manicured lawns. Convertibles seem to be the car of choice, especially German ones. Clearly our wealthy cousins dont buy into American made when it comes to their mode of transport. The drive down to Santa Monica takes us through other parts of LA but I couldnt tell you what they are but I wouldnt want to stop and ask directions if you know what I mean?
Santa Monica is pretty and looks very cosmopolitan with a number of cafés and bars lining both sides of the road down to the beach. We turn right here and head up the Pacific Coast Highway towards Malibu and Men men men-ly men territory. It looks exactly like it does on the telly and I almost expect to see Charlie driving the other way. We turn away from the coast and go up into the Malibu Hills. The scenery is dramatic as the road winds its way through the hills although they look more like mountains to me. Weve been driving for quite a while and seem to be getting no closer to Camarillo. It turns out that we have taken a rather circuitous route to say the least and I think we are all grateful to stretch our legs when we finally arrive. Im feeling much more upbeat about LA now and Im beginning to think that there may be more to this place than I first thought. The Outlet centre is outdoors and the shops are divided into two distinct circles that you really have to drive between as they are so sprawling. We drive around to see what is here and notice a number of interesting shops grouped together near the food court. Im not sure the van has stopped before Deb leaps out and runs towards the Ugg outlet which is at least twice the size of the shoe shop in Vegas that claims to be the largest Ugg store in America. It looks like Ugg heaven and would have been if they had the brown cowboy boots in her size.
Never mind, the black ones will have to do instead, I say knowing that it would be stupid to leave without them as they would definitely be something else to add to her list of things she should have bought on holiday (I swear there is at least one thing she puts back every year and then regrets it the minute we board the bloody plane home). I wont let it happen this time especially as shes talked about buying a pair of Ugg cowboys boots for the last couple of years at least and would have had she been able to find them. I also convince her to pick up another pair of regular Uggs that are shorter than the ones she has at home. We all think they look good but she still takes some convincing. I m not sure whether she doesnt like them or this is a case of Debra guilt which is her natural state even though she is not Catholic as far as I know. This is where the Foster men and women are polar opposites when it comes to shopping. If we see something we like and it fits, whats to decide? This is why Nick and I are easily three or four times faster when we man shop. Its the only way to do it. Talking of man shopping, we find three pairs of trainers for Nick in the Reebok shop a few doors down that match his Raiders, Chargers and Dodgers shirts that weve collected on our travels in California. I am aware that this is a little over the top but what the heck, weve never done it before and were on holiday. I also pick up a pair of Dodgers trainers in brown and rehearse my speech to Deb about them being the last pair, honest. Of course, things spiral out of control a little bit later but I can honestly say that it wasnt all my fault.
Alexandra popped into the Fossil shop to buy a new watch, which subsequently packed up just after we got home. That is a first I think as the ones Deb has bought in the past have lasted well. We head over to the other part of the centre but just before we do Deb jumps out of the van and goes into the Big Dog store to see if they have any sleeping shorts in my size as all of the ones I brought with me are now in the wash and as we dont plan on doing any washing this holiday, we either find some more or I sleep au natural which doesnt bother me as I used to do it all the time when the kids were young. I doubt theyd be happy though and I dont want to give them nightmares. Alexandra comes back to the van with her new watch but theres still no sign of Deb. On the one hand this can be considered a good thing, as I am sure she would have been straight out if they didnt have any. On the other hand, how long does it take to buy two pairs of shorts? Alexandra goes into find her and also vanishes so I have to dispatch Nick to find out what is going on. He reports back that it is a case of too much choice apparently and although I am more than happy with the three pairs that are in the bag, especially as they were on sale, I wonder if the real reason it took so long was because she was trying to find reasonably clean ones, as in the slogan department that is. Danger, fart loading was as rude as these ones got which still amuses the youngest whenever she sees me in them. Theres nothing like a bum joke, especially when youre seven years old.
The other car park is packed and so Deb drops me off outside Casual Male XL with Nicholas and looks for a space. Unfortunately they dont have any black trousers, which is a pain. It is an outlet though so there are plenty of reduced items and I manage to find some nice short-sleeved shirts for work and a couple pairs of different coloured trousers. Its nice being able to shop somewhere that has clothes in my size that are well made and look smart. Even though there are plenty of small online sellers in the UK they dont have anything near the range or quality of Casual Male. Plus you get to try things on over here and even though I dont like doing that at the best of times I accept that it can be a very useful indicator as to whether or not something fits and is therefore worth buying. Having said all that I dont try anything on here and my new blue trousers are a little on the tight side, which is my own fault I guess. Next time Ill do as Im told. The bill comes to $240 or thereabouts, which is a welcome surprise as I expect it to be quite a bit higher. Deb and the girls are with us now so we leave the shop with no real destination in mind, in fact we may have been heading back to the van. How we ended up in Rockport is still a mystery to me.
It was immediately obvious that they had some nice shoes, which also came in wide-fittings. Im not going to rant about the lack of wide-fitting shoes and half sizes back in the UK but it does bother me. At first everyone was looking for smart work shoes for me and pairs were being lined up faster than I could try them on. Then Deb was drawn to the sale racks, as she always is, where she finds a really nice pair of brown high-heeled sandals, which I approve of immediately. From here things get fuzzy for me but someone must have wondered if they had wide-fitting shoes for women at some point as before you know it, Alexandra is also trying on shoes and they are actually fitting. I am almost as gobsmacked as she looks happy or is it the other way around? The pile of shoe boxes has grown but I am not sure of the complete total as the very helpful young male assistant keeps taking them up to the till, just in case we change our minds Im guessing. I try on one last pair of light brown casual shoes/trainers, which had caught my eye earlier. I know that I dont need them but they are so bloody comfortable and are exactly what I had wanted to get before we came over. Sensible Mark (or Guilty Mark, take your pick) whispers that I should put them back and walk away. For once I listen to the voice of reason but my son is determined that I should have them. We argue about it and the not so little sod wins by using my own argument against me. I take them with me but decide that he needs to spend a lot more time under his mothers influence when we return home.
Rockport has deals like buy one, get one free and buy two, get the third pair free and the aforementioned assistant makes sure we get the best deal possible across the 11 pairs of shoes. The bill is over $600, which means that each pair works out at really good value I think. Actually I try not to think about it too much to tell you the truth.
We are all officially shopped out and extremely hungry. Since arriving in the States weve been on the Debra diet, which is a brutal regime that involves eating when she is hungry. Sometimes this is only once a day so its no surprise really that we have taken to sneaking out for breakfast. I have moaned about the rationing situation several times to no avail. Even when I started seeing stars and black spots at Disney she ignored me and did the Toy Story ride while I was sent off to find a banana. Apparently if any of us are hungry we should say so and shell stop so that we can eat. Im not convinced. If you ever want to lose weight, give her a call. All it will cost you is a flight to California and hotel room for a couple of weeks. p.s. dont forget your walking shoes!
Apparently Nick had seen a Sizzler on our way here and so we attempt to find it by the tried and trusted method of driving in the general direction and hoping someone sees it. I was starting to give up when we actually did. I need to eat and decide on the fish and chips while everyone else goes for the buffet, which is always a good choice here, although there wasnt any Mac and Cheese for Alexandra. The food is consumed and the kids make at least two trips to the food carts each while Deb gets excited over a plate of garlic bread that has only been toasted on one side. Even now, several weeks on, it is still mentioned as the best thing she had all holiday. Starvation will do that to you.
We head back to Hollywood via the highway and the journey takes half the time. Deb is driving while I snap away aimlessly at things I think look interesting but are a little blurry when you photograph them at 70mph. We pile out of the van back at the hotel and unload our booty. I feel a little ashamed walking to the lifts with so many shoeboxes and try not to make eye contact with the staff at the Concierge who probably think we have gone slightly mad, and in a way theyd be right.
Its early evening but there really isnt much to do where we are staying. I dont think the kids would be allowed in the Roxy and the Disney cinema just down the road is showing Wall-E but as we have just seen that in the UK nobody has mentioned it or seems that interested. We have a late night tomorrow at the Teen Choice Awards and I think we are all tired from the shoe frenzy so I order Forgetting Sarah Marshall on the TV. Its not the best choice, especially for Deb who hates Russell Brand with a passion and doesnt really find American comedies funny at the best of times. I think a lot of it went over Lucys head, at least I hope so, although she did laugh at appropriate moments that were possibly inappropriate for a child her age. She does that a lot.
The film finished around 10pm so it was time for Deb and Alex to head off to the box while Nick and I watched baseball for a while before passing out.
Nervous Breakdown
I think it was a Sunday morning at the Hollywood Roosevelt. We hadnt had breakfast because our options were limited here but I cant remember what the plan was before everything went pear-shaped. I do know that we requested our car from the valet and then waited and waited while car after car was driven around to other guests who had arrived after us. It was warm, not Vegas warm but sticky enough for me and I was getting cross because thats what I do best, my default setting if you like. Deb may have told me not to get angry (like she does) but in the end I had to say something, which I duly did. And then we waited some more. Eventually the grey-haired suited boss told us that they were having a problem starting the van. I'm not sure we were that surprised actually as this wasnt the first issue wed had with the red van. In San Diego wed had to blow up the tyres (a first) and the last few days the onboard computer had been telling us to change the oil (another first). What do they say about things happening in threes? Luckily they managed to start the van and the guy who brings it around says that its not the battery but the starting motor. The boss says that we should change the car immediately and definitely not try to take it through the desert back to Vegas. I think we were already convinced so it didnt take us long to decide that all plans were off until we had taken the car back to Dollar. With the Sat Nav programmed we headed off to LAX. I think this was also the day when we stopped off at McDonalds for breakfast and they didnt understand me at the drive-thru and even suggested that I didnt speak English. Deb and Alex ended up going in and I am sure even they had problems being understood at the counter. The good news for us was that the drive to LAX was relatively quiet as it was a Sunday. It took longer than I thought and we drove through some interesting neighbourhoods and what looked like an oil field at one point. Arriving at Dollar I parked in the car park rather than driving it into the returns area as I wasnt sure what to do with the van at that point and didnt want to get stuck. We got out and went inside where we were told to take the car to the returns area (bloody typical) and they would sign it in and give us a piece of paper that would enable us to get a replacement. Easy enough providing the van would start, which it wouldnt so I speak to a returns guy who is very rude and abrupt with us saying that the van has to be in the returns area before he can do anything to help. For a few seconds Im convinced hes expecting us to push it ourselves. Luckily either his boss or a workmate asks him what is up and before you know it a few of them are pushing the van. In a few seconds the problem is sorted and we are on our way into the building armed with a slip of paper. A couple of minutes later we are on our way out the other side to choose our new ride. This took a lot longer than wed planned, as all of the vans were still dirty. In the end we chose the best of a bad bunch (a white dodge something or other) and headed on our way back to the Roosevelt where Deb and the kids went swimming and I had a lay down to calm my nerves before the Teen Choice Awards that afternoon/evening.
Going swimming at this hotel was the worst experience I think I have ever had, I thought we must have had loo paper hanging from our costumes or something as pretty much all staff and guest alike made us feel very unwelcome. It was a pool for poseurs not a swimming pool, which was a shame as Mark said it was 10 foot deep at one end and the shallow end was still 4 foot. I had already pre-warned the kids that they were to go swimming and not play too much or shout at all, this they did and did me proud especially when it was so uncomfortable. A man asked the kids if they would help him locate his sunglasses as he had lost them in the pool and couldnt find them, the kids had goggles so were happy to oblige, Alex found them but knew that they were too deep for her to try and get but Nick decided to get them and hurt his ears, the man was grateful but would it have hurt him to have offered the kids a drink for finding them! We didnt stay long as we had to get ready for the Teen Choice Awards later.
Teen Choice Awards
I think we both decided to drive the short distance from our hotel to Universal Studios, rather than take the underground, the day we arrived in Hollywood and saw the kind of people who were hanging around outside the entrance. There was no way I would be taking the kids down there. The traffic was busy heading in to Universal but this wasn't surprising as I expected the Teen Choice awards to be busy. Valet parking was a no brainer and we emerged from the car park into a sunny and warm City Walk. To our right was the Hard Rock and as we needed to eat before the show it seemed the ideal choice. The restaurant was busy and we were given one of those bleeper things, which didnt take long to go off thankfully. The Hard Rock is always buzzing and this one was no different except that it was in Hollywood, baby! There was a car suspended from the ceiling above the bar and lots of cool memorabilia around the walls and with so much to look at it never seems to take long for the food to arrive. We made a mistake, scrub that, I made the mistake of ordering us a plate of nachos for starters, which is a meal in itself. I had a new pasta dish with chorizo and chilies and it was hot but not unpleasantly so. Deb had the obligatory Margarita and I think this one had three different types of Tequila in it if I'm not mistaken and, from my one sip, seemed quite potent (you are certainly right and it was delicious!!). Had I not been driving I would have definitely joined her. After the meal we quickly looked through the store and picked up a t-shirt for Alexandra. How could we not? If you are going to have a Hard Rock T-shirt is there a cooler place to have one than from here?
We exit the restaurant and pick up a Dodgers shirt for Nicholas in a sports store across the way. Deb and the girls watch a street artist who was doing some amazing paintings with spray paint while we are inside. City Walk is really busy now with a steady stream of people heading up towards the entrance of Universal. We join the throng and hope that we are going in the right direction. Who am I kidding? We are following hundreds of young girls and their mums with few, if any, other males in sight. I feel even more out of place than usual and I wonder if Nick is feeling the same. Then again he's surrounded by lots of young tanned California girls so I suspect he is enjoying the view even though he wouldnt admit it.
The queue into the park is long so we decide to sit in the shade and wait for it to shorten. It doesn't but we pass the time by talking to a Canadian couple who have driven their daughters down for the show. They, sensibly, plan to wait for them outside and don't seem to mind that they'll be waiting a good few hours. I suppose there is plenty to see and do here so maybe it won't be so bad. Suddenly there is a gap in the queue and we quickly fill it I am ashamed to say. Nobody says anything, which is a relief and I am particularly grateful that the gap didn't open up a little in front of us as later on two mums stop people from pushing in and are very vocal about it asking everyone to join in with them. I don't want to be a hypocrite so I keep schtum and hope that we are not ratted-out by the people behind us. They even call over a Universal cast member and demand that the queue jumpers be ejected from the park. Yikes. They are very scary and I promise myself that I'll never do anything like that again, honest.
It takes ages to reach the entrance of the theatre, which is oddly inside the park itself. There are a bunch of metal detectors like the ones that they have in airports. As we are in LA I presume it is mainly to detect handguns rather than knives but I suppose both would be frowned upon. There is also a sign saying no cameras and although I only have the compact Canon with me, it has quickly become my favourite camera, I panic that it will be confiscated. I put it in my short pocket and hope that nobody notices the enormous bulge or the detector somehow ignores it. Somehow both things happen and I am allowed through with no trouble at all. Later, when everyone on stage is being blinded by flashlights from the audience I realise that everyone has a camera and is prepared to use it, especially when the Jonas Brothers are on stage or flying around the theater (long story, won't bore you).
Our seats are in the back row upstairs, so as far from the stage as you can possibly be in other words. However, because of the size and shape of the theater we still have a good view. The couple on the end of our row are very odd. Middle-aged hillbillys is the probably the kindest way to describe them. They stand the whole time watching the show through binoculars both with a beer glass in the other hand. I let Nicholas sit next to them. The celebrities are seated in sofas at the front of the stage. We are sitting on the same side as their entrance and try to identify them as they are escorted to their seats. I can't make out any of them and gauge their star value from the volume of the screams that erupt when they are ushered through the doors. This process seems to take forever. Eventually someone comes out and gives us our instructions for the show, when to scream, stand, dance about, etc. And then the show begins with Miley Cyrus and her band. There is much screaming and excitement and then we spend the next couple of hours watching various celebs accepting their awards. Unlike the Oscars it appears that only the winners have been invited which means they must know in advance that they have won. I guess it may be because they only have so much space on the sofas and inviting a bunch of losers would be a waste of space. Either way it feels incredibly false. It was also odd that our host Ms Cyrus talks to a camera the whole time rather than the audience. It is being recorded for the TV so it's not a surprise but it makes for a very impersonal, almost voyeuristic experience.
The dance crews were entertaining but there was way less music than I expected. Only Miley and Mariah Carey get to perform on stage. Deb freaked out when she saw Will Smith for the first time and he did look cool in his blue leather jacket. I was surprised to see Adam Sandler get an award (surf board) and he was suitably dressed down for the occasion, which I thought was funny and somewhat appropriate. Gossip Girl and the Jonas brothers seemed to win everything else that mattered. The awards that didn't matter weren't even presented which I thought was a little bit condescending. I was also peeved that the giant screens didn't show what was happening on stage. I now realise why they brought the binoculars, smart hillbillies. They have obviously done this type of thing before. Did I mention that I saw Lila from Friday Night Lights? It was funny when they read out Friday Night Lights as one of the nominees for an award or maybe it was for Riggins, and Alexandra was the only person in the entire audience who cheered, and then quickly stopped. On this evidence I suspect it won't make a third season. I think that Hayden Panatierre, the cheerleader from Heroes, was the happiest person to receive an award and during one of the breaks went into the audience to find her little brother whom she had acknowledged in her speech. The dance competition was interesting especially at the end of the show when we thought that there was going to be a bundle on stage between the opposing crews. While we are on the subject of dancing, David Beckham won Sports Personality and his youngest son stole the show with an impromptu break dancing routine. All told we were there for about 3 hours, which was plenty long enough for all of us. We headed back into City Walk bemused by the experience I think. Deb's feet were killing her so we stopped at a Crocs stall and she got a pair of Croc flip flops which she proceeded to wear more than anything else for the rest of the holiday so I am guessing they were comfortable. We also stopped for popcorn but that was Alexandra's so the rest of us were rationed obviously.
The queue for the Valet wasn't as bad as I thought it would be given that we were one of the last groups to leave the theater. Deb got some nice cold drinks from a machine while we waited for the van. The drive back to the hotel was uneventful. UB40 were playing at the Hollywood Bowl but they obviously hadn't finished yet as it would have been chaotic otherwise. There were cars and coaches parked everywhere. I was surprised that UB40 were popular enough to play here especially as they are without their original singer nowadays. Actually I didn't realise that they were popular in America at all.
Venice Beach
Our last day in LA, which means that we are two thirds through the holiday which is a scary thought. Without a doubt spending a few days in one place and then moving on speeds things up no end. This morning we decide to eat in the hotel bar and the food was pretty good albeit expensive. It makes a change from McDonalds and I am thankful for that. Today we are going to the beach so that Deb can dip her toes in the Pacific. This event had originally been planned for when we were in San Diego but the overcast skies put paid to that. Today the weather is hazy and the temperature in the mid 70's which will have to do. Before heading to the beach I am dropped off at Ameoba records, which is a famous record store on Sunset Boulevard. Greg has talked about this place for years and I am excited to finally see it for myself. Cavernous is the best way to describe it and I really don't know where to begin. I know I am on the clock and this place is so huge that I feel a little bit like a rabbit caught in the proverbial headlights. A few years ago I would have happily spent half a day or longer here and be several hundred dollars lighter as a result. Today I find two CDs, which I know I could probably download for free at some point but I can't really leave this place without buying anything. The internet has well and truly taken the fun out of record shops for me. I guess its true about all good things coming to an end. I leave feeling a little bit sad and empty.
The drive down to Venice Beach is pleasant enough and I feel like we are getting the hang of LA. Deb is driving which gives me time to take a few photos on the way. While we are waiting at a set of traffic lights I take a picture of a Latino chap who is working a mobile fruit stand by the side of the road. Hes chopping up what looks like melons, pineapple, mangos and a range of exotic fruit, which he then sells to passers-by. He looks across the road straight at me and probably wonders what a gringo is doing photographing him. The fruit looks nice but is it hygienic I wonder? One of the things that is very obvious over here is that they are a lot more health conscious and environmentally aware than we are. We find a car park by the beach and head for the water. Within seconds Deb has her shoes off and is paddling away. The rest of us are not quite so enthusiastic but to my surprise the water is a reasonable temperature and one by one we make our way in. There are quite a few waves here and further up the beach they are large enough for surfers. It doesn't take long before a rogue wave hits Deb and she's soaked from the waist down. Nicholas might as well be swimming as he's also in over his knees at this point. Before you can say "we didn't bring any towels" Deb is out of her shorts and heading into deeper water with son in tow. Clearly this is going to be more than a quick paddle in the Ocean. Did I mention that none of us have any towels or a change of clothes? What is she thinking? Resistance is futile and so Lucy and I head out to join them. We plead with Alexandra to join us but she is in a dark place today and won't go in further than her ankles. I give up trying to persuade her to have fun and enjoy the water with everyone else. The difference between the water and air temperature is negligible and both are pleasantly warm. The waves are strong and occasionally one comes in and attempts to take my shorts with it like Typhoon Lagoon. There's nothing quite like a salt water enema. The sky is still hazy but you can make out the mountains of Malibu to our right and hear the steady stream of aircraft taking off from LAX to our left. Occasionally one of them becomes visible through the haze and it is surprising to see how near and low they are. I guess some of them are heading off to Australia, Japan and the Far East. I am still a little awe struck that we are on the West Coast as I think part of me never thought I would ever get here. The longer I am in LA the more I like it. Today's experience has sealed the deal so to speak and I decide that I am definitely coming back sooner rather than later.
There are loads of people around us, and not just kids, with body boards or 'boogie' boards. I am not sure what the official term is but riding the waves looks like a lot of fun. Deb goes to see if we can buy one and heads off to the row of shops, which is the other side of the car park. She returns with a board, which she's hired from a shop that rents bikes and other beach paraphernalia. Nicholas immediately takes charge of the board as Alexandra is still in a mood. His initial attempts are unsuccessful as each wave either throws him off the board or passes under him with no effect whatsoever. Clearly there is a technique to this that he is missing and after several fruitless minutes I am starting to think that we should ask someone what it is the next time they whiz past us. Fair play to the boy as he keeps at it and is finally rewarded for his perseverance to cheers and laughter all round. There's no stopping him now and he is carried further and faster with each subsequent wave. Alexandra finally decides to join in and has a go. After a few minutes she even starts smiling. A few instructions from our new expert surfer dude and now she's screaming her way towards the beach. We have had some incredible experiences over the years but I don't think we have ever laughed as much as we did today. It was as close to perfect as you can get and an experience I will remember for the rest of my life. Deb also has a go on the board but isn't propelled quite as far as the other two. I would give anything to be able to do it as well but my basic knowledge of physics knows that it would be pointless trying.
We leave our beach via the washrooms where we clean our feet using the outdoor taps and make our way to the van. The ride back to the hotel is damp to say the least but I wouldn't change a thing. I think the official term is chilled. We stop for a milkshake on the way, which fills the gap created by missing lunch which passed us by a good while ago. Back at the hotel we shower and change and I mention that the LA or Anaheim Angels are playing at home tonight. We had planned to see the Dodgers while we were in Hollywood as they are just up the road but time had gotten the best of us again and so we hadn't made it and now they were playing away for the next few days. I knew that going back to Anaheim was effectively heading back to Disney which was quite a journey but I also knew it was my only opportunity to visit a ballpark. I was surprised that everyone agreed so readily to do it. I guess we must have been in the hotel room for an hour before heading out again to the game. Downtown LA is very busy as always but it is the only real traffic jam. The Sat Nav has us swapping highways left right and centre and Deb suspects that it is doing this to avoid the worst of the traffic. It still takes us close to an hour and a half to get there. It is a beautiful sunny late afternoon / early evening setting and the sky is deep blue as we head towards the stadium.
We park up and head to the Giant Angels hats where the ticket booths are located. When I get to the front of the queue I ask for five seats and the girl asks me a question about one of the Angels baseball players, Tori Hunter I think is the answer but I just smile at her, shrug and say I am from the UK and have no idea. Apparently if Id have answered correctly the tickets would have cost $5 each. Thats ok, she says you can have them for 5 bucks anyway. So we end up paying $25 for five tickets when I was expecting it to cost three times that amount at least. Amazing, this day gets better and better. We make our way inside and look for something to eat. We can see the players warming up in the stadium through each of the entrances and it looks awesome. I am pretty amped at this point and I expect Nicholas is feeling the same way. I just dont know what the girls are going to make of it. The stadium is modern and clean with plenty of places to eat, in fact the girls head to an outdoor food court where there are pizzas, burgers, burritos, etc. while Nick and I look for hot dogs. I know its a cliché but what else are we going to have? Unfortunately the ones we get are pathetically small which is un-American if you ask me. The girls California pizzas look and taste a lot better and were still hungry so Nick heads off to the barbecue to find us some real meat! He returns with two of the largest hot dogs I have ever seen and I wonder if either of us will manage them. We do but I am regretting it almost instantly and feel horribly bloated. The walk to the top of the stadium to find our seats is less appealing now. I shouldnt have worried though as we soon find escalators which take us up the four levels. We still have a few stairs to climb though before we are seated but not enough to work off that hot dog. Oh why did I do it?
The sun is sinking but still just above the stadium roof and so shines in our eyes for 30 minutes or so. The sky is an amazing array of colours and along with the backdrop of mountains provides a spectacular setting for this evenings entertainment. Tomorrows game is everyone gets an Angels floppy hat day which is a shame but I guess the tickets would have cost us a lot more so perhaps we got the better deal. We all stand for the National Anthem and I sing along to the bits I know and mumble the bits I dont. I dont think anyone notices but they take it very seriously over here and I wouldnt want to offend anyone. The game itself is entertaining but dominated by the Angels. They only score one home run, which triggers a burst of fireworks over the waterfall. Yes, the stadium has its own waterfall, which is bizarre I know but I am sure there must be a reason for it. Maybe it gives the players something to aim at? Who knows, I wouldnt want to be sitting next to it though as I am sure the toilets over there must get twice as much work. All that running water...
We are surrounded by families, which is really nice and adds to the relaxed atmosphere. The majority of them are of Latino descent and I know baseball has a big Latino following and we are in Southern California so I shouldnt be surprised. The people behind us are from Puerto Rico and are visiting with their sons baseball team who are playing in a tournament over here. I know this because Deb relays it to me later. They give Lucy a Puerto Rican badge as a gift, which is a really nice gesture and comes completely out of the blue. For all the crap in the world and horrible people we read about in the papers and see on the news its nice to be reminded that not everyone is like that. By the middle of the seventh inning the Angels are up 4-1 and there is no sign of the Orioles coming back so after we sing Take me out to the ball game which is something I have wanted to do for so long, I suggest that we beat the traffic and leave early for the drive back to Hollywood. We say our goodbyes and head out having had a very pleasant couple of hours. On our way back to the car we stop at the Angels merchandise store inside the stadium and kit Lucy out with a foam finger and Nick out with a game shirt, hat and wrist bands. I think hes found his baseball team.
The drive back to Hollywood is a lot quicker and we turn on the TV to hear that the Orioles scored 3 runs at the top of the 9th inning to tie the game before the Angels scored a single at the bottom of the 9th to win it 5-4. So things got a lot more exciting. Oh well, at least they won and I am shattered so dont mind at all. Its been a long, fantastic, wonderful, life-affirming day. I hit the pillow and sleep soundly. Sometimes all the crap and stress we go through is worth it for days like today and I wouldnt trade this experience for anything. Thank you.
Well we got up to another beautiful day and were off again so I finished packing and we got Bell Services to come and take the luggage so that we could go into California Adventure Park to do Toy Story Mania and California Screamin. We managed to get into the park for around 10am (park opening) and headed straight for the Boardwalk. While the rest of them started queuing for Toy Story I went and got fast pass tickets for Screamin. We thought the queue was so long because the ride hadnt yet opened but we were wrong, even though we thought we were early into the park the queue was still well over an hour. Mark went to see if he could find something to eat, as we were hoping to find a stall or cart selling pastries or fruit that we could grab on the way in but there wasnt any, and he was feeling a little strange, unfortunately he didnt find anything. It was a shame that Mark missed the ride as it was really good fun and better that Buzz Lightyears Space Ranger Spin that all the family enjoy, there is a variety of things to shoot at and you get a different colour splat to the person you are sitting next to so its easy to see where you are hitting.
After Toy Story Nicholas, Lucy and myself went on California Screamin, I wasnt too sure what Lucy would make of it but she loved it and screamed all the way round (this is a good sign by the way). When we came to a stop she punched the air with delight and the guy helping us out said another satisfied customer. Alexandra and Mark stood and photographed us as we took off.
When we finished on these rides we walked back to the hotel to collect the car and start the drive to Hollywood, via a Walmart for some more underwear!! Still no washing done! It was easy enough to get to Hollywood but we were quite amazed at how big and sprawling LA is. Once off the interstate it was a short drive to Hollywood Boulevard where our next hotel was. It was strange seeing Captain Jack Sparrow sitting having a cigarette at a back entrance to somewhere and even stranger when he realized that the kids were watching him so he waved and winked. There was Batman walking across the road and various other characters that I cant remember just now. The Hollywood Roosevelt looked as old and boxy as the pictures and it didnt get much better. Once we left the car with the valet and went to check in the day started to take a bit of a down turn. Although there were only two people in front of us being served we were still at the check in desk for about 1 hour. The guy who was seeing to the rooms was also concentrating on everyone else being checked in and trying to sort their problems out as well, was it because we had kids. We were certainly not made to feel welcome. The first problem was yet again we didnt have connecting rooms or even rooms close together then they didnt have the two rooms that we had booked at all so they ended up giving us a junior suite which had to have a roll-a-way bed put in for Lucy and a small box of a room next door. The whole décor was quite dark and there were candles on almost every surface in the public areas of the hotel, the walls were dark brown and the corridors were quite small, in fact it was rather claustrophobic. Alexandra and Nicholas were going to go into the box room but when it came time to go to bed neither wanted to so I went in with Alexandra and Nicholas shared the bed with Mark. After we had found the rooms and decided who was going where we went out for a walk to Mels Drive In for some food. When we were walking along Hollywood Boulevard Lucy managed to walk into some scaffolding, which rather worried Spiderman who was climbing the said scaffolding and a man who was handing out leaflets for coach trips to see the stars homes, she looked rather dazed and had a bit of a bump but was very brave and didnt cry for long. This was quite an experience and was probably one of the worst meals of the whole trip. Alexandra had a stomach ache so really just wanted some plain pasta, which they only did as a kids meal, but after we explained to the waitress the situation she checked with the manager and it was agreed that she could have it. Lucy had fish and chips in a car. Nicholas had a toasted ham and cheese sandwich, Mark had meatloaf and I had chicken with mash potato (smash) and vegetables (squash). All in all it was food and filled a hole but we decided that we probably wouldnt go back. After eating we walked over to the Hollywood and Highland shopping centre. We saw the hotel that we wanted to stay at, the Renaissance, and decided that it would have been a much better choice. There wasnt much in the shops that we wanted to look at so we got some drinks and went back to the hotel. Needless to say because we felt so uncomfortable at the hotel we didnt go down to the bar for a drink we watched some TV and then went to bed hoping that tomorrow we would find some nicer places.
Show me the way to Camarillo
Nicholas, Lucy and I woke up around 7:30am and we are all hungry so wash and dress quickly before heading down Hollywood Blvd to the local McDonalds. This turns out to be a contentious decision on our part as we leave the girls to sleep in the box room. Deb is already awake at this point but doesnt want to leave Alexandra alone in the room, which is understandable given her reluctance to sleep in it in the first place. Of course we werent to know this and think we are doing the right thing especially as Deb isnt a McDonalds fan at the best of times and only eats there when she has no other choice.
We follow the famous stars that are embedded in the sidewalk all the way down but the kids only recognise Tom Cruise. If the truth be told there are a few stars that I havent heard of either. We pass a couple of homeless people on our way and I feel Lucy squeeze my hand a little tighter. I would feel uncomfortable on my own but with the kids in tow the feeling is much worse and I really dont like it here. The restaurant is reasonably busy for this time of day but as we already know what we want it doesnt take long to order. While we are waiting a very odd looking chap stumbles out of the bathroom and I do my best to avoid making eye contact just in case it upsets him. I am also thankful that I went to the toilet before we left the hotel. I only hope Lucy and Nick did the same, as I have no idea what we might find? There are signs on display saying that you can only stay for 30 minutes but that doesnt stop a homeless gentleman from sleeping out of sight in the corner. We find a spot that has a few empty tables around us and I hope that we are not disturbed by anyone or marked out as potential targets. It didnt take us long to finish our meals. Correction, it didnt take long for Nicholas and I to finish our meals but Lucy was eating at a casual pace, picking off miniscule amounts of pancake and staring into the distance in some kind of food induced coma, seemingly oblivious to our surroundings. We do our best to gee her along but it makes little or no difference so we both sit there and hope nothing goes down while she finishes up. The walk back to the hotel is busier now and we do our best to keep our heads down and ignore the people handing out flyers for various Hollywood tours. Before we left the UK I thought that we might do something like that but the reality is unappealing and downright seedy. There are also more beggars awake now but thankfully they leave us be.
Deb and Alexandra are getting ready in the main room and they are anxious to know where weve been. Given our surroundings I cant blame them. I know that if the shoe had been on the other foot I would have been frantic with worry. We leave the hotel and decide to go for a drive to get our bearings, fill up with some petrol and look for the outlet centre in Camarillo. We pass the Viper Room and famous Roxy where every 80s hair-band you can think of has either played or been discovered. Greg sometimes hangs out here when hes in town but it doesnt look like Id fit in without a serious wardrobe change. Its amazing how quickly the line is drawn between the poor and wealthy areas of Hollywood. Its almost like an invisible line is drawn across the road and we soon find ourselves in a leafy green and spotless Beverly Hills, altogether:
Thats where I wanna a be
This is more like what Id been expecting. The houses here are suitably mansion-like with long drives and manicured lawns. Convertibles seem to be the car of choice, especially German ones. Clearly our wealthy cousins dont buy into American made when it comes to their mode of transport. The drive down to Santa Monica takes us through other parts of LA but I couldnt tell you what they are but I wouldnt want to stop and ask directions if you know what I mean?
Santa Monica is pretty and looks very cosmopolitan with a number of cafés and bars lining both sides of the road down to the beach. We turn right here and head up the Pacific Coast Highway towards Malibu and Men men men-ly men territory. It looks exactly like it does on the telly and I almost expect to see Charlie driving the other way. We turn away from the coast and go up into the Malibu Hills. The scenery is dramatic as the road winds its way through the hills although they look more like mountains to me. Weve been driving for quite a while and seem to be getting no closer to Camarillo. It turns out that we have taken a rather circuitous route to say the least and I think we are all grateful to stretch our legs when we finally arrive. Im feeling much more upbeat about LA now and Im beginning to think that there may be more to this place than I first thought. The Outlet centre is outdoors and the shops are divided into two distinct circles that you really have to drive between as they are so sprawling. We drive around to see what is here and notice a number of interesting shops grouped together near the food court. Im not sure the van has stopped before Deb leaps out and runs towards the Ugg outlet which is at least twice the size of the shoe shop in Vegas that claims to be the largest Ugg store in America. It looks like Ugg heaven and would have been if they had the brown cowboy boots in her size.
Never mind, the black ones will have to do instead, I say knowing that it would be stupid to leave without them as they would definitely be something else to add to her list of things she should have bought on holiday (I swear there is at least one thing she puts back every year and then regrets it the minute we board the bloody plane home). I wont let it happen this time especially as shes talked about buying a pair of Ugg cowboys boots for the last couple of years at least and would have had she been able to find them. I also convince her to pick up another pair of regular Uggs that are shorter than the ones she has at home. We all think they look good but she still takes some convincing. I m not sure whether she doesnt like them or this is a case of Debra guilt which is her natural state even though she is not Catholic as far as I know. This is where the Foster men and women are polar opposites when it comes to shopping. If we see something we like and it fits, whats to decide? This is why Nick and I are easily three or four times faster when we man shop. Its the only way to do it. Talking of man shopping, we find three pairs of trainers for Nick in the Reebok shop a few doors down that match his Raiders, Chargers and Dodgers shirts that weve collected on our travels in California. I am aware that this is a little over the top but what the heck, weve never done it before and were on holiday. I also pick up a pair of Dodgers trainers in brown and rehearse my speech to Deb about them being the last pair, honest. Of course, things spiral out of control a little bit later but I can honestly say that it wasnt all my fault.
Alexandra popped into the Fossil shop to buy a new watch, which subsequently packed up just after we got home. That is a first I think as the ones Deb has bought in the past have lasted well. We head over to the other part of the centre but just before we do Deb jumps out of the van and goes into the Big Dog store to see if they have any sleeping shorts in my size as all of the ones I brought with me are now in the wash and as we dont plan on doing any washing this holiday, we either find some more or I sleep au natural which doesnt bother me as I used to do it all the time when the kids were young. I doubt theyd be happy though and I dont want to give them nightmares. Alexandra comes back to the van with her new watch but theres still no sign of Deb. On the one hand this can be considered a good thing, as I am sure she would have been straight out if they didnt have any. On the other hand, how long does it take to buy two pairs of shorts? Alexandra goes into find her and also vanishes so I have to dispatch Nick to find out what is going on. He reports back that it is a case of too much choice apparently and although I am more than happy with the three pairs that are in the bag, especially as they were on sale, I wonder if the real reason it took so long was because she was trying to find reasonably clean ones, as in the slogan department that is. Danger, fart loading was as rude as these ones got which still amuses the youngest whenever she sees me in them. Theres nothing like a bum joke, especially when youre seven years old.
The other car park is packed and so Deb drops me off outside Casual Male XL with Nicholas and looks for a space. Unfortunately they dont have any black trousers, which is a pain. It is an outlet though so there are plenty of reduced items and I manage to find some nice short-sleeved shirts for work and a couple pairs of different coloured trousers. Its nice being able to shop somewhere that has clothes in my size that are well made and look smart. Even though there are plenty of small online sellers in the UK they dont have anything near the range or quality of Casual Male. Plus you get to try things on over here and even though I dont like doing that at the best of times I accept that it can be a very useful indicator as to whether or not something fits and is therefore worth buying. Having said all that I dont try anything on here and my new blue trousers are a little on the tight side, which is my own fault I guess. Next time Ill do as Im told. The bill comes to $240 or thereabouts, which is a welcome surprise as I expect it to be quite a bit higher. Deb and the girls are with us now so we leave the shop with no real destination in mind, in fact we may have been heading back to the van. How we ended up in Rockport is still a mystery to me.
It was immediately obvious that they had some nice shoes, which also came in wide-fittings. Im not going to rant about the lack of wide-fitting shoes and half sizes back in the UK but it does bother me. At first everyone was looking for smart work shoes for me and pairs were being lined up faster than I could try them on. Then Deb was drawn to the sale racks, as she always is, where she finds a really nice pair of brown high-heeled sandals, which I approve of immediately. From here things get fuzzy for me but someone must have wondered if they had wide-fitting shoes for women at some point as before you know it, Alexandra is also trying on shoes and they are actually fitting. I am almost as gobsmacked as she looks happy or is it the other way around? The pile of shoe boxes has grown but I am not sure of the complete total as the very helpful young male assistant keeps taking them up to the till, just in case we change our minds Im guessing. I try on one last pair of light brown casual shoes/trainers, which had caught my eye earlier. I know that I dont need them but they are so bloody comfortable and are exactly what I had wanted to get before we came over. Sensible Mark (or Guilty Mark, take your pick) whispers that I should put them back and walk away. For once I listen to the voice of reason but my son is determined that I should have them. We argue about it and the not so little sod wins by using my own argument against me. I take them with me but decide that he needs to spend a lot more time under his mothers influence when we return home.
Rockport has deals like buy one, get one free and buy two, get the third pair free and the aforementioned assistant makes sure we get the best deal possible across the 11 pairs of shoes. The bill is over $600, which means that each pair works out at really good value I think. Actually I try not to think about it too much to tell you the truth.
We are all officially shopped out and extremely hungry. Since arriving in the States weve been on the Debra diet, which is a brutal regime that involves eating when she is hungry. Sometimes this is only once a day so its no surprise really that we have taken to sneaking out for breakfast. I have moaned about the rationing situation several times to no avail. Even when I started seeing stars and black spots at Disney she ignored me and did the Toy Story ride while I was sent off to find a banana. Apparently if any of us are hungry we should say so and shell stop so that we can eat. Im not convinced. If you ever want to lose weight, give her a call. All it will cost you is a flight to California and hotel room for a couple of weeks. p.s. dont forget your walking shoes!
Apparently Nick had seen a Sizzler on our way here and so we attempt to find it by the tried and trusted method of driving in the general direction and hoping someone sees it. I was starting to give up when we actually did. I need to eat and decide on the fish and chips while everyone else goes for the buffet, which is always a good choice here, although there wasnt any Mac and Cheese for Alexandra. The food is consumed and the kids make at least two trips to the food carts each while Deb gets excited over a plate of garlic bread that has only been toasted on one side. Even now, several weeks on, it is still mentioned as the best thing she had all holiday. Starvation will do that to you.
We head back to Hollywood via the highway and the journey takes half the time. Deb is driving while I snap away aimlessly at things I think look interesting but are a little blurry when you photograph them at 70mph. We pile out of the van back at the hotel and unload our booty. I feel a little ashamed walking to the lifts with so many shoeboxes and try not to make eye contact with the staff at the Concierge who probably think we have gone slightly mad, and in a way theyd be right.
Its early evening but there really isnt much to do where we are staying. I dont think the kids would be allowed in the Roxy and the Disney cinema just down the road is showing Wall-E but as we have just seen that in the UK nobody has mentioned it or seems that interested. We have a late night tomorrow at the Teen Choice Awards and I think we are all tired from the shoe frenzy so I order Forgetting Sarah Marshall on the TV. Its not the best choice, especially for Deb who hates Russell Brand with a passion and doesnt really find American comedies funny at the best of times. I think a lot of it went over Lucys head, at least I hope so, although she did laugh at appropriate moments that were possibly inappropriate for a child her age. She does that a lot.
The film finished around 10pm so it was time for Deb and Alex to head off to the box while Nick and I watched baseball for a while before passing out.
Nervous Breakdown
I think it was a Sunday morning at the Hollywood Roosevelt. We hadnt had breakfast because our options were limited here but I cant remember what the plan was before everything went pear-shaped. I do know that we requested our car from the valet and then waited and waited while car after car was driven around to other guests who had arrived after us. It was warm, not Vegas warm but sticky enough for me and I was getting cross because thats what I do best, my default setting if you like. Deb may have told me not to get angry (like she does) but in the end I had to say something, which I duly did. And then we waited some more. Eventually the grey-haired suited boss told us that they were having a problem starting the van. I'm not sure we were that surprised actually as this wasnt the first issue wed had with the red van. In San Diego wed had to blow up the tyres (a first) and the last few days the onboard computer had been telling us to change the oil (another first). What do they say about things happening in threes? Luckily they managed to start the van and the guy who brings it around says that its not the battery but the starting motor. The boss says that we should change the car immediately and definitely not try to take it through the desert back to Vegas. I think we were already convinced so it didnt take us long to decide that all plans were off until we had taken the car back to Dollar. With the Sat Nav programmed we headed off to LAX. I think this was also the day when we stopped off at McDonalds for breakfast and they didnt understand me at the drive-thru and even suggested that I didnt speak English. Deb and Alex ended up going in and I am sure even they had problems being understood at the counter. The good news for us was that the drive to LAX was relatively quiet as it was a Sunday. It took longer than I thought and we drove through some interesting neighbourhoods and what looked like an oil field at one point. Arriving at Dollar I parked in the car park rather than driving it into the returns area as I wasnt sure what to do with the van at that point and didnt want to get stuck. We got out and went inside where we were told to take the car to the returns area (bloody typical) and they would sign it in and give us a piece of paper that would enable us to get a replacement. Easy enough providing the van would start, which it wouldnt so I speak to a returns guy who is very rude and abrupt with us saying that the van has to be in the returns area before he can do anything to help. For a few seconds Im convinced hes expecting us to push it ourselves. Luckily either his boss or a workmate asks him what is up and before you know it a few of them are pushing the van. In a few seconds the problem is sorted and we are on our way into the building armed with a slip of paper. A couple of minutes later we are on our way out the other side to choose our new ride. This took a lot longer than wed planned, as all of the vans were still dirty. In the end we chose the best of a bad bunch (a white dodge something or other) and headed on our way back to the Roosevelt where Deb and the kids went swimming and I had a lay down to calm my nerves before the Teen Choice Awards that afternoon/evening.
Going swimming at this hotel was the worst experience I think I have ever had, I thought we must have had loo paper hanging from our costumes or something as pretty much all staff and guest alike made us feel very unwelcome. It was a pool for poseurs not a swimming pool, which was a shame as Mark said it was 10 foot deep at one end and the shallow end was still 4 foot. I had already pre-warned the kids that they were to go swimming and not play too much or shout at all, this they did and did me proud especially when it was so uncomfortable. A man asked the kids if they would help him locate his sunglasses as he had lost them in the pool and couldnt find them, the kids had goggles so were happy to oblige, Alex found them but knew that they were too deep for her to try and get but Nick decided to get them and hurt his ears, the man was grateful but would it have hurt him to have offered the kids a drink for finding them! We didnt stay long as we had to get ready for the Teen Choice Awards later.
Teen Choice Awards
I think we both decided to drive the short distance from our hotel to Universal Studios, rather than take the underground, the day we arrived in Hollywood and saw the kind of people who were hanging around outside the entrance. There was no way I would be taking the kids down there. The traffic was busy heading in to Universal but this wasn't surprising as I expected the Teen Choice awards to be busy. Valet parking was a no brainer and we emerged from the car park into a sunny and warm City Walk. To our right was the Hard Rock and as we needed to eat before the show it seemed the ideal choice. The restaurant was busy and we were given one of those bleeper things, which didnt take long to go off thankfully. The Hard Rock is always buzzing and this one was no different except that it was in Hollywood, baby! There was a car suspended from the ceiling above the bar and lots of cool memorabilia around the walls and with so much to look at it never seems to take long for the food to arrive. We made a mistake, scrub that, I made the mistake of ordering us a plate of nachos for starters, which is a meal in itself. I had a new pasta dish with chorizo and chilies and it was hot but not unpleasantly so. Deb had the obligatory Margarita and I think this one had three different types of Tequila in it if I'm not mistaken and, from my one sip, seemed quite potent (you are certainly right and it was delicious!!). Had I not been driving I would have definitely joined her. After the meal we quickly looked through the store and picked up a t-shirt for Alexandra. How could we not? If you are going to have a Hard Rock T-shirt is there a cooler place to have one than from here?
We exit the restaurant and pick up a Dodgers shirt for Nicholas in a sports store across the way. Deb and the girls watch a street artist who was doing some amazing paintings with spray paint while we are inside. City Walk is really busy now with a steady stream of people heading up towards the entrance of Universal. We join the throng and hope that we are going in the right direction. Who am I kidding? We are following hundreds of young girls and their mums with few, if any, other males in sight. I feel even more out of place than usual and I wonder if Nick is feeling the same. Then again he's surrounded by lots of young tanned California girls so I suspect he is enjoying the view even though he wouldnt admit it.
The queue into the park is long so we decide to sit in the shade and wait for it to shorten. It doesn't but we pass the time by talking to a Canadian couple who have driven their daughters down for the show. They, sensibly, plan to wait for them outside and don't seem to mind that they'll be waiting a good few hours. I suppose there is plenty to see and do here so maybe it won't be so bad. Suddenly there is a gap in the queue and we quickly fill it I am ashamed to say. Nobody says anything, which is a relief and I am particularly grateful that the gap didn't open up a little in front of us as later on two mums stop people from pushing in and are very vocal about it asking everyone to join in with them. I don't want to be a hypocrite so I keep schtum and hope that we are not ratted-out by the people behind us. They even call over a Universal cast member and demand that the queue jumpers be ejected from the park. Yikes. They are very scary and I promise myself that I'll never do anything like that again, honest.
It takes ages to reach the entrance of the theatre, which is oddly inside the park itself. There are a bunch of metal detectors like the ones that they have in airports. As we are in LA I presume it is mainly to detect handguns rather than knives but I suppose both would be frowned upon. There is also a sign saying no cameras and although I only have the compact Canon with me, it has quickly become my favourite camera, I panic that it will be confiscated. I put it in my short pocket and hope that nobody notices the enormous bulge or the detector somehow ignores it. Somehow both things happen and I am allowed through with no trouble at all. Later, when everyone on stage is being blinded by flashlights from the audience I realise that everyone has a camera and is prepared to use it, especially when the Jonas Brothers are on stage or flying around the theater (long story, won't bore you).
Our seats are in the back row upstairs, so as far from the stage as you can possibly be in other words. However, because of the size and shape of the theater we still have a good view. The couple on the end of our row are very odd. Middle-aged hillbillys is the probably the kindest way to describe them. They stand the whole time watching the show through binoculars both with a beer glass in the other hand. I let Nicholas sit next to them. The celebrities are seated in sofas at the front of the stage. We are sitting on the same side as their entrance and try to identify them as they are escorted to their seats. I can't make out any of them and gauge their star value from the volume of the screams that erupt when they are ushered through the doors. This process seems to take forever. Eventually someone comes out and gives us our instructions for the show, when to scream, stand, dance about, etc. And then the show begins with Miley Cyrus and her band. There is much screaming and excitement and then we spend the next couple of hours watching various celebs accepting their awards. Unlike the Oscars it appears that only the winners have been invited which means they must know in advance that they have won. I guess it may be because they only have so much space on the sofas and inviting a bunch of losers would be a waste of space. Either way it feels incredibly false. It was also odd that our host Ms Cyrus talks to a camera the whole time rather than the audience. It is being recorded for the TV so it's not a surprise but it makes for a very impersonal, almost voyeuristic experience.
The dance crews were entertaining but there was way less music than I expected. Only Miley and Mariah Carey get to perform on stage. Deb freaked out when she saw Will Smith for the first time and he did look cool in his blue leather jacket. I was surprised to see Adam Sandler get an award (surf board) and he was suitably dressed down for the occasion, which I thought was funny and somewhat appropriate. Gossip Girl and the Jonas brothers seemed to win everything else that mattered. The awards that didn't matter weren't even presented which I thought was a little bit condescending. I was also peeved that the giant screens didn't show what was happening on stage. I now realise why they brought the binoculars, smart hillbillies. They have obviously done this type of thing before. Did I mention that I saw Lila from Friday Night Lights? It was funny when they read out Friday Night Lights as one of the nominees for an award or maybe it was for Riggins, and Alexandra was the only person in the entire audience who cheered, and then quickly stopped. On this evidence I suspect it won't make a third season. I think that Hayden Panatierre, the cheerleader from Heroes, was the happiest person to receive an award and during one of the breaks went into the audience to find her little brother whom she had acknowledged in her speech. The dance competition was interesting especially at the end of the show when we thought that there was going to be a bundle on stage between the opposing crews. While we are on the subject of dancing, David Beckham won Sports Personality and his youngest son stole the show with an impromptu break dancing routine. All told we were there for about 3 hours, which was plenty long enough for all of us. We headed back into City Walk bemused by the experience I think. Deb's feet were killing her so we stopped at a Crocs stall and she got a pair of Croc flip flops which she proceeded to wear more than anything else for the rest of the holiday so I am guessing they were comfortable. We also stopped for popcorn but that was Alexandra's so the rest of us were rationed obviously.
The queue for the Valet wasn't as bad as I thought it would be given that we were one of the last groups to leave the theater. Deb got some nice cold drinks from a machine while we waited for the van. The drive back to the hotel was uneventful. UB40 were playing at the Hollywood Bowl but they obviously hadn't finished yet as it would have been chaotic otherwise. There were cars and coaches parked everywhere. I was surprised that UB40 were popular enough to play here especially as they are without their original singer nowadays. Actually I didn't realise that they were popular in America at all.
Venice Beach
Our last day in LA, which means that we are two thirds through the holiday which is a scary thought. Without a doubt spending a few days in one place and then moving on speeds things up no end. This morning we decide to eat in the hotel bar and the food was pretty good albeit expensive. It makes a change from McDonalds and I am thankful for that. Today we are going to the beach so that Deb can dip her toes in the Pacific. This event had originally been planned for when we were in San Diego but the overcast skies put paid to that. Today the weather is hazy and the temperature in the mid 70's which will have to do. Before heading to the beach I am dropped off at Ameoba records, which is a famous record store on Sunset Boulevard. Greg has talked about this place for years and I am excited to finally see it for myself. Cavernous is the best way to describe it and I really don't know where to begin. I know I am on the clock and this place is so huge that I feel a little bit like a rabbit caught in the proverbial headlights. A few years ago I would have happily spent half a day or longer here and be several hundred dollars lighter as a result. Today I find two CDs, which I know I could probably download for free at some point but I can't really leave this place without buying anything. The internet has well and truly taken the fun out of record shops for me. I guess its true about all good things coming to an end. I leave feeling a little bit sad and empty.
The drive down to Venice Beach is pleasant enough and I feel like we are getting the hang of LA. Deb is driving which gives me time to take a few photos on the way. While we are waiting at a set of traffic lights I take a picture of a Latino chap who is working a mobile fruit stand by the side of the road. Hes chopping up what looks like melons, pineapple, mangos and a range of exotic fruit, which he then sells to passers-by. He looks across the road straight at me and probably wonders what a gringo is doing photographing him. The fruit looks nice but is it hygienic I wonder? One of the things that is very obvious over here is that they are a lot more health conscious and environmentally aware than we are. We find a car park by the beach and head for the water. Within seconds Deb has her shoes off and is paddling away. The rest of us are not quite so enthusiastic but to my surprise the water is a reasonable temperature and one by one we make our way in. There are quite a few waves here and further up the beach they are large enough for surfers. It doesn't take long before a rogue wave hits Deb and she's soaked from the waist down. Nicholas might as well be swimming as he's also in over his knees at this point. Before you can say "we didn't bring any towels" Deb is out of her shorts and heading into deeper water with son in tow. Clearly this is going to be more than a quick paddle in the Ocean. Did I mention that none of us have any towels or a change of clothes? What is she thinking? Resistance is futile and so Lucy and I head out to join them. We plead with Alexandra to join us but she is in a dark place today and won't go in further than her ankles. I give up trying to persuade her to have fun and enjoy the water with everyone else. The difference between the water and air temperature is negligible and both are pleasantly warm. The waves are strong and occasionally one comes in and attempts to take my shorts with it like Typhoon Lagoon. There's nothing quite like a salt water enema. The sky is still hazy but you can make out the mountains of Malibu to our right and hear the steady stream of aircraft taking off from LAX to our left. Occasionally one of them becomes visible through the haze and it is surprising to see how near and low they are. I guess some of them are heading off to Australia, Japan and the Far East. I am still a little awe struck that we are on the West Coast as I think part of me never thought I would ever get here. The longer I am in LA the more I like it. Today's experience has sealed the deal so to speak and I decide that I am definitely coming back sooner rather than later.
There are loads of people around us, and not just kids, with body boards or 'boogie' boards. I am not sure what the official term is but riding the waves looks like a lot of fun. Deb goes to see if we can buy one and heads off to the row of shops, which is the other side of the car park. She returns with a board, which she's hired from a shop that rents bikes and other beach paraphernalia. Nicholas immediately takes charge of the board as Alexandra is still in a mood. His initial attempts are unsuccessful as each wave either throws him off the board or passes under him with no effect whatsoever. Clearly there is a technique to this that he is missing and after several fruitless minutes I am starting to think that we should ask someone what it is the next time they whiz past us. Fair play to the boy as he keeps at it and is finally rewarded for his perseverance to cheers and laughter all round. There's no stopping him now and he is carried further and faster with each subsequent wave. Alexandra finally decides to join in and has a go. After a few minutes she even starts smiling. A few instructions from our new expert surfer dude and now she's screaming her way towards the beach. We have had some incredible experiences over the years but I don't think we have ever laughed as much as we did today. It was as close to perfect as you can get and an experience I will remember for the rest of my life. Deb also has a go on the board but isn't propelled quite as far as the other two. I would give anything to be able to do it as well but my basic knowledge of physics knows that it would be pointless trying.
We leave our beach via the washrooms where we clean our feet using the outdoor taps and make our way to the van. The ride back to the hotel is damp to say the least but I wouldn't change a thing. I think the official term is chilled. We stop for a milkshake on the way, which fills the gap created by missing lunch which passed us by a good while ago. Back at the hotel we shower and change and I mention that the LA or Anaheim Angels are playing at home tonight. We had planned to see the Dodgers while we were in Hollywood as they are just up the road but time had gotten the best of us again and so we hadn't made it and now they were playing away for the next few days. I knew that going back to Anaheim was effectively heading back to Disney which was quite a journey but I also knew it was my only opportunity to visit a ballpark. I was surprised that everyone agreed so readily to do it. I guess we must have been in the hotel room for an hour before heading out again to the game. Downtown LA is very busy as always but it is the only real traffic jam. The Sat Nav has us swapping highways left right and centre and Deb suspects that it is doing this to avoid the worst of the traffic. It still takes us close to an hour and a half to get there. It is a beautiful sunny late afternoon / early evening setting and the sky is deep blue as we head towards the stadium.
We park up and head to the Giant Angels hats where the ticket booths are located. When I get to the front of the queue I ask for five seats and the girl asks me a question about one of the Angels baseball players, Tori Hunter I think is the answer but I just smile at her, shrug and say I am from the UK and have no idea. Apparently if Id have answered correctly the tickets would have cost $5 each. Thats ok, she says you can have them for 5 bucks anyway. So we end up paying $25 for five tickets when I was expecting it to cost three times that amount at least. Amazing, this day gets better and better. We make our way inside and look for something to eat. We can see the players warming up in the stadium through each of the entrances and it looks awesome. I am pretty amped at this point and I expect Nicholas is feeling the same way. I just dont know what the girls are going to make of it. The stadium is modern and clean with plenty of places to eat, in fact the girls head to an outdoor food court where there are pizzas, burgers, burritos, etc. while Nick and I look for hot dogs. I know its a cliché but what else are we going to have? Unfortunately the ones we get are pathetically small which is un-American if you ask me. The girls California pizzas look and taste a lot better and were still hungry so Nick heads off to the barbecue to find us some real meat! He returns with two of the largest hot dogs I have ever seen and I wonder if either of us will manage them. We do but I am regretting it almost instantly and feel horribly bloated. The walk to the top of the stadium to find our seats is less appealing now. I shouldnt have worried though as we soon find escalators which take us up the four levels. We still have a few stairs to climb though before we are seated but not enough to work off that hot dog. Oh why did I do it?
The sun is sinking but still just above the stadium roof and so shines in our eyes for 30 minutes or so. The sky is an amazing array of colours and along with the backdrop of mountains provides a spectacular setting for this evenings entertainment. Tomorrows game is everyone gets an Angels floppy hat day which is a shame but I guess the tickets would have cost us a lot more so perhaps we got the better deal. We all stand for the National Anthem and I sing along to the bits I know and mumble the bits I dont. I dont think anyone notices but they take it very seriously over here and I wouldnt want to offend anyone. The game itself is entertaining but dominated by the Angels. They only score one home run, which triggers a burst of fireworks over the waterfall. Yes, the stadium has its own waterfall, which is bizarre I know but I am sure there must be a reason for it. Maybe it gives the players something to aim at? Who knows, I wouldnt want to be sitting next to it though as I am sure the toilets over there must get twice as much work. All that running water...
We are surrounded by families, which is really nice and adds to the relaxed atmosphere. The majority of them are of Latino descent and I know baseball has a big Latino following and we are in Southern California so I shouldnt be surprised. The people behind us are from Puerto Rico and are visiting with their sons baseball team who are playing in a tournament over here. I know this because Deb relays it to me later. They give Lucy a Puerto Rican badge as a gift, which is a really nice gesture and comes completely out of the blue. For all the crap in the world and horrible people we read about in the papers and see on the news its nice to be reminded that not everyone is like that. By the middle of the seventh inning the Angels are up 4-1 and there is no sign of the Orioles coming back so after we sing Take me out to the ball game which is something I have wanted to do for so long, I suggest that we beat the traffic and leave early for the drive back to Hollywood. We say our goodbyes and head out having had a very pleasant couple of hours. On our way back to the car we stop at the Angels merchandise store inside the stadium and kit Lucy out with a foam finger and Nick out with a game shirt, hat and wrist bands. I think hes found his baseball team.
The drive back to Hollywood is a lot quicker and we turn on the TV to hear that the Orioles scored 3 runs at the top of the 9th inning to tie the game before the Angels scored a single at the bottom of the 9th to win it 5-4. So things got a lot more exciting. Oh well, at least they won and I am shattered so dont mind at all. Its been a long, fantastic, wonderful, life-affirming day. I hit the pillow and sleep soundly. Sometimes all the crap and stress we go through is worth it for days like today and I wouldnt trade this experience for anything. Thank you.
the awards sound fab
