Sorry, no ham this year!

[Mermaid02]

My friend just found out this morning that her mother in law didn't buy the usual ham for Christmas dinner. Instead she bought a "tofurkey" because her daughter and her friend are coming and they are vegetarians. Now my friends kids are really upset and they will all probably be really hungry too. What do you think of this? I think it was nice to get something for the vegetarians, but she should have warned the others in case someone wanted to bring some meat.

 

[inaminute]

The hostess should have double-checked prior to the event and not assumed that MIL was bringing ham.

ETA: Sorry, I misread the OP! In this case, as the MIL is the hostess, she should have made accomodations for all guests--those who eat meat, and those who don't.

 

[Chuck S]

It won't kill the kids to eat one vegen meal. While it would have been nice to have mentioned it, I don't think it was "mandatory" to do so. You can always stop on the way home and get different food if you don't like what is served, the purpose of the gathering isn't just the food, it is the family time together.

 

[disykat]

A little strange that it didn't occur to Grandma that tofurkey might not thrill the grandkids. A new tradition can be born I guess - stopping for Pizza on the way home from Grandma's house!

I agree that the hostess doesn't have to let people know what she's serving, but it does seem odd given the fact that there are kids coming and tofu isn't known to be a favorite of kids that aren't used to it.

 

[disneymom3]

I think some responsibility lies on both sides. MIL has served primerib for dinner the last several years. And yorkshire pudding. My kids when they were quite little wouldn't eat it and after the first year of that menu, I brought alternate food for them--like pb&j. Now, at 4, 5 and 9, they can find something on the table to fill up on and actually this year, she served a rib roast and they seemed to like that better. Me too, less greasy.

 

[Mimi Q]

Sorry, that word, "tofurkey" , just made me laugh.

 

[JayCT]

Chuck - You said they could always stop on the way home, but where are they going to stop? On Christmas around here NOTHING is open. The MIL should have warned them. I am sure this is going to create problems. While it is nice to give someone something the vegitarians would like, she should have thought of everyone. JMHO Jay

 

[Chuck S]

Chuck - You said they could always stop on the way home, but where are they going to stop? On Christmas around here NOTHING is open. The MIL should have warned them. I am sure this is going to create problems. While it is nice to give someone something the vegitarians would like, she should have thought of everyone. JMHO Jay

Well, all the fast food places are open here, as well as some gas stations that make some pretty tasty pizza. Two full restaurant buffets are open as well. Certainly look for something to be open along a freeway or main artery, folks in hotels have to eat, too, ya know.

Plus, surely the MIL has some peanut butter or some tuna on hand to make a sandwich if the kids want it. I was never allowed to "pick the menu" when we were invited for dinner.

 

[Talking Hands]

Honestly we have tried tofurkey and it is nasty. Even our vegetarian daughters will not touch it. We are sure to have many appropriate sides for those who do not ham or turkey. It is always nice to make sure there is something that everyone will eat.
And btw around here only Denny's is open unless I want to head to Florida City and see if Golden Coral is open. No thanks.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I find it very interesting that after several Christmasses of standard fare--she just arbitrarily changes the menu to suit two guests---her daughter and friend. I guess you should be thankful that you were invited and that food was served...but a good host or hostess....wouldn't have ditched the menu all together, they would just have created a vegetarian dish to accompany what else was being served. The only exception--unless the hostess has become vegetarian and chooses not to serve meat for that reason...but one guests diet should never trump another guest unless of course there is a health concern where making multiples is too much of a constraint on resources...and even then all guests should be considered. (exception--if there is an allergy than can cause anaphylactic (sp???) shock or death--then there life definitely trumps IMHO).

 

[shortbun]

My vegetarian son HATES Tofurkey! I don't like it either. Anyone seen the "Everybody Loves Raymond" where Marie serves it and chaos ensues? I'd be somewhat amused but confused if my hostess decided to serve a whole meal based on the vegans in the family. We are able to accomodate ours with little trouble for the rest. Pizza sounds like a great idea.

 

[aprilgail2]

I would be bringing food for me and my daughter to eat if tofu was the meal they were serving...no thanks LOL!

 

[RitaZ.]

My SIL is vegetarian and we always make sure that we have dishes that she likes to eat. She does the same for her brother who is vegan. I think it's thoughtful and courteous to do so for your dinner guests. If I invite a friend or family over for dinner, I want to make sure that I'll serve something that they will enjoy and want to eat, especially when children are coming.

I think the MIL should have told the other guests what she was serving. If she was willing to totally change the main dish for two guests, then she should have taken the other guests into consideration as well.

 

[clh2]

Plus, surely the MIL has some peanut butter or some tuna on hand to make a sandwich if the kids want it. I was never allowed to "pick the menu" when we were invited for dinner.

My mom never has any of that around if the grandkids are looking for "normal" food. My mom just cooks plain weird stuff, (i.e. when she cooked Thanksgiving dinner, it was low calorie, lowfat, low cholesterol, and low sodium...talk about nasty food - there was no gravy, no mashed potatoes, no pumpkin pie albiet there was an odd textured pumpkin souffle, hopefully you get the picture) I always bring something that I know DD will eat, usually irritatates my mom, but heck, I just can't stand most of what my mom cooks either. And, mom never has any "extra food" around. She goes to the grocery store every single day to get the food. She's retired with not much to do.

 

[Aidensmom]

Seems like every holiday dinner I have always gone too has enough side dishes, I would definately not starve if I did not eat the main dish.

My mom almost always has something strange for our holiday meals, and I have never really even thought much about it. To me, it is kind of funny how people get upset over not being served what they think should be. It's just one meal.

 

[deide71]

Seriously, I think the laugh I would get out of actuallly seeing a "Tofurkey" in person would be worth missing out on ham.

There are tears rolling down my face right now !


TOFURKEY!!!!!

 

[Mermaid02]

I haven't talked to my friend yet to see how it went. I did offer her some pork chops from my freezer before she left!

Around here NOTHING is open on Christmas.

Like I said, it's nice that she wanted to have something for her dd and her friend, but what about everyone else? She asked my friend to bring the side dishes she usually does, so Jill figured the menu was the same as it always is. Live and learn!

 

[drakethib]

Yuck !!!!!

 

[Disney Doll]

Well, hopefuly there are a lot of good side dishes, potatoes, veggies etc. to fil up on.

I wouldn't eat something called "tofurkey" just on principal. If it were me, I would have made a small "tofurkey" for the vegetarians and still had the normal ham for the non-vegetarians. Or I would have made sure we had plenty of non-meat side dishes so the vegetarians would be able to fill up too.

 

[poohandwendy]

I find it very interesting that after several Christmasses of standard fare--she just arbitrarily changes the menu to suit two guests---her daughter and friend. I guess you should be thankful that you were invited and that food was served...but a good host or hostess....wouldn't have ditched the menu all together, they would just have created a vegetarian dish to accompany what else was being served. The only exception--unless the hostess has become vegetarian and chooses not to serve meat for that reason...but one guests diet should never trump another guest unless of course there is a health concern where making multiples is too much of a constraint on resources...and even then all guests should be considered. (exception--if there is an allergy than can cause anaphylactic (sp???) shock or death--then there life definitely trumps IMHO).

ITA, it is inconsiderate to alter the main course to only suit the needs of 2 guests...unless the occasion was in honor of those guests.

It's just really strange to make a main dish that only the minority will eat. Especially since there are so many items she could have made, in addition to the ham, that would have suited their vegetarian lifestyle and been something others would eat too.