Sorry....I dont know where to post this

[tinksgilrs251520]

I was just wondering to those of you who have a spouse who does not like DIsney and chooses not to go how do you handle the comments that Your always planning Disney and uses that every time we have a disargreement. I try to tell him I dont plan Disney all the time.. I work midnights and sleep during the day and usually only do planning either while I am work or when i get up and thats a little here and there. I was just wondering how does anyone else handle it. I have also tried to get HIM to pick a place and I will plan that also I dont care if its something that i dont like i would go with him and enjoy it becuase I would be with him... My trips are always paid for out of my checks and if I make a payment I always ask hm first.... I have never put a payment to disney before a house bill.... I just dont see where my going is such a big deal...Sometimes he makes me feel so guilty .... Please help need some advice here..

 

[TDC Nala]

It sounds from this like he does not go on your Disney trips with you. Do you have children, and you take the children?

Sounds like you need to talk to him, but if he's refusing to give any suggestions as to where he'd prefer to go, it also sounds like he is just using your preference for Disney against you and doesn't want to work with you. Would he prefer that both of you stay home, with your schedule it sounds as if you may not see each other much. Don't know what to tell you. Does he really think you spend too much on Disney trips and too much time planning Disney trips or is he just sniping at you?

 

[cattylove2001]

In a very similar situation so I can relate (I think). It's very stressful when a spouse is not a Disney fan and you are a huge fan. Does he flat out refuse to go? Is it due to finances or would rather go somewhere else? Will this trip put you in debt? Can he even compromise?

 

[POOHsie]

You're not really saying if there's places DH wants to go that you don't want to go. This could cause friction.

My DH didn't like WDW, either. Lucky for me and DD, we lived 4 hours away at that time, so I just went with DD for long weekends.

All I can say is, put yourself in his shoes and try to understand what he's trying to tell you, then try to compromise. Good luck.

 

[kaligal]

I was just wondering to those of you who have a spouse who does not like DIsney and chooses not to go how do you handle the comments that Your always planning Disney and uses that every time we have a disargreement. I try to tell him I dont plan Disney all the time.. I work midnights and sleep during the day and usually only do planning either while I am work or when i get up and thats a little here and there. I was just wondering how does anyone else handle it. I have also tried to get HIM to pick a place and I will plan that also I dont care if its something that i dont like i would go with him and enjoy it becuase I would be with him... My trips are always paid for out of my checks and if I make a payment I always ask hm first.... I have never put a payment to disney before a house bill.... I just dont see where my going is such a big deal...Sometimes he makes me feel so guilty .... Please help need some advice here..

This sounds more like a marriage problem than a Disney one.

Have you tried counseling? Would he go?

 

[cattylove2001]

Sorry, forgot to answer the OP's question. This coming from a die hard Disney fan from Cali who was raised + breathed Disney who has a spouse who flat out refuses to compromise and go to DW or DL. His version of compromise was going to Disney and trying it out btw. His view is that we can spend our money better elsewhere period. Long story short this is how "I" handle it. Not saying this is the BEST way to handle it but I go without him and totally ignore ALL his remarks. As far a I am concern, he married a girl from Cali who lived and breathed Disney before he even came in the picture - therefore he should not expect me to "grow up" or "expand" my horizons or any other thing HE wants me to do. Yes hedoesn't like it. Too bad. We have traveled to other countries and states already. I am in the Military15yr, work hard for my money, earn 30days vacation, can afford a vacation, and willing to compromise. Go every other year or even a couple of years if he is willing to compromise and go with me and DS11 on Disney Vaca. However no dice. Married for 12yrs btw... Wish you the best of luck in your situation.

 

[larryz]

Please help need some advice here..

Is it all things Disney, or just the resorts?

If he hates the resorts, but is OK with other Disney tie-ins, try a Disney cruise. You will still get your Disney fix, and he can concentrate on the cruise aspect -- instant harmony and bliss on both sides!

 

[tinksgilrs251520]

Thank you for all the help and keep the advice coming , And as far as Disney putting us in debt nope it does not thye bills are paid on time and Like i said my checks go for Groceries (which there is always food in the house) and whatever and the main source if income goes to pay the bills and the daily expenses of life... My husband is a stay at home husband and recives two incomes one income takes care of the house and the other income goes into his private checking account which I dont ask what he does with it .. ASo if he wants to go somewhere and see his kids I have no problem with that I think i just need to sit down and talk to him about how and maybe thatill help

 

[vicki_c]

From what you wrote, it sounds like he is more aggravated with the planning / on the computer / etc. part. Perhaps he feels things around the house that need to be done aren't getting done (not saying it's all on you, OP) and you shouldn't be spending your time doing other things.

So I would look from his perspective first and see if you think that might be true. If not, ask him what is specifically bothering him - is it about Disney at all - or just about what you're spending your time on.

I agree with the PP who said it doesn't sound like it's really a Disney problem, but something else.

 

[tinksgilrs251520]

Is it all things Disney, or just the resorts?

If he hates the resorts, but is OK with other Disney tie-ins, try a Disney cruise. You will still get your Disney fix, and he can concentrate on the cruise aspect -- instant harmony and bliss on both sides!

Noe its all things Disney!!!!!!!!!!! But here is the kicker i guess whenever his friends saythey want to take thier kids or grandkids he says you need to takl to my wife she kniws all about Disney and is really good at the planning and nwouod help you out alot.....go fiqure

 

[larryz]

Noe its all things Disney!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, I feel for ya! I know what you're going thru -- got the same thing here. I've been told multiple times "this is the last time I'm going to WDW with you!" Fortunately, there have been multiple times...

 

[GaSleepingBeautyFan]

Sit down with him to chat. You said he won't pick a place to go on vacation with you so maybe he just isn't a traveler.

I'd explain how important going to Disney is to you if you haven't done that already. Let him know that it takes planning to have any kind of successful vacation.

And then be done. Don't let him make you feel guilty. Don't let him bug you.

My husband does the sighing and complaining thing especially a few days before I'm leaving on my solo trips because *he has to do everything while I'm gone*. No he doesn't since my kids make the suppers and clean up when I'm gone, they do their own laundry when I'm gone and do their normal chores.

When I get back from my trips, he always asks if I'm done with Disney yet. I just say No, there's still tons of things I haven't done yet and then I drop it.

He doesn't like it when I talk about what I did on my solo trip so I don't talk to him about it anymore. I tried to tell him all about the tour I did but he kept interrupting me to talk about his part time business stuff so I finally gave up. It makes me sad sometimes but it is what it is.

Could you be talking about it too much and it's bugging him?

 

[BranNich]

My DH is also not a fan of the planning..or Disney in general. Because I pay for the trip I just started taking my mother along with us every other year and my DH goes with us when we go to Universal (which he enjoys much more) on the opposite years.

 

[GreenCntryGirl]

When considering getting remarried, "Liking Disney" was tops on my list for requirements. It is such an important part of my life and I didn't want to argue about it down the road.

 

[maccagerl]

It sounds like he might be a little jealous of the time you spend on your planning- perhaps if you did the planning when he wasn't around to see you doing it?
Good luck, I hope you can work this out!

 

[CarolineB]

When considering getting remarried, "Liking Disney" was tops on my list for requirements. It is such an important part of my life and I didn't want to argue about it down the road.

This is good advice that I didn't take. I brought my DS to Disney 3 times without my ex-husband of 10 years. I now live within 10 miles of Disney and love being able to go whenever I want!

 

[POOHsie]

This is good advice that I didn't take. I brought my DS to Disney 3 times without my ex-husband of 10 years. I now live within 10 miles of Disney and love being able to go whenever I want!

When I posted before, I mentioned that we lived 4 hours away from WDW. If we had lived a thousand miles away, my WDW trips might have been a major relationship problem. Our Miami location solved the "WDW problem." I think our marriage dodged a major bullet.

Best of luck, OP. "One day at a Time."

 

[dontthrowsand]

My boyfriend plays video games so when he does that, I plan. He holding judgement until we get there and he finishes the trip if he likes Disney or not. I want to do rides, he wants to eat and take pictures so we will have to find some time to meet up and do something together. Fortunately we are taking 2 other people with us that share our visions of what we want to do.

 

[huskies90]

When considering getting remarried, "Liking Disney" was tops on my list for requirements. It is such an important part of my life and I didn't want to argue about it down the road.

I agree with this, too. After being married 18 years, I am not sure I would ever get remarried but my current girlfriend is a bigger Disney freak than me - she wouldn’t even start dating me until I showed her my DVC member card and my annual pass. lol. There is nothing like sitting on the couch together, listening to Mouseworld Radio and planning our next trip together!!

This sounds more like a marriage problem than a Disney one.

Have you tried counseling? Would he go?

My decision to buy into DVC was one of the last straws before my ex-wife and I decided to call it quits. Disney was not the cause but it was a symptom of other problems in our marriage. I am not advocating divorce to anyone especially if there are kids involved, it is very difficult, but looking back, we are both much happier now.

 

[juliehoey]

Sorry, forgot to answer the OP's question. This coming from a die hard Disney fan from Cali who was raised + breathed Disney who has a spouse who flat out refuses to compromise and go to DW or DL. His version of compromise was going to Disney and trying it out btw. His view is that we can spend our money better elsewhere period. Long story short this is how "I" handle it. Not saying this is the BEST way to handle it but I go without him and totally ignore ALL his remarks. As far a I am concern, he married a girl from Cali who lived and breathed Disney before he even came in the picture - therefore he should not expect me to "grow up" or "expand" my horizons or any other thing HE wants me to do. Yes hedoesn't like it. Too bad. We have traveled to other countries and states already. I am in the Military15yr, work hard for my money, earn 30days vacation, can afford a vacation, and willing to compromise. Go every other year or even a couple of years if he is willing to compromise and go with me and DS11 on Disney Vaca. However no dice. Married for 12yrs btw... Wish you the best of luck in your situation.

Love your response. My way exactly. Leave him home and ignore the remarks. Oh and take the kids Wish you luck though...