Sorry - another vent about daycare/childcare - UPDATE Pg2

[Hillbeans]

Ugh....this is just so frustrating. My DS was sick last week with an ear infection and I took him to the Dr. on Friday and he's been on medicine all weekend.

Fast forward to today...I wrote the longest note to his teacher today about his condition, the Dr. visit, the medicine he's on, etc., and left it in her mailbox at daycare. I called her about 20 minutes ago and she said he's doing fine, however 2 other kids have a stomach virus at daycare and are being sent home. I told her that hopefully my DS will be immune to that since he's on antibiotic. Do you know what she said to me??

"Oh, he's on antibiotic"???? HELLO??? I wrote you this long note and told 2 other aids this morning when I brought him in. I can't help but feel that my DS is just a paycheck and they really don't care if he's ok or not, just that they don't want him sick on "their" watch.

Some days, I just love his daycare and I know how much he learns there and likes it, and some days, I really feel as if I'm making a huge mistake not being home with him.

 

[Pete's Mom]

It's possible that she has not gotten a chance to read it, especially if it is a long letter. Sick kids should not be at school or daycase if it is contagious. This is a big pet peeve of mine.

 

[Hillbeans]

I agree, and my DS' ear infection is NOT contagious.

 

[bananiem]

Well, it they've had 2 other kids get sick this morning and had to clean that up, fed the kids breakfast, talked to the parents as they dropped the kids off, I can't imagine why she didn't have time to go read your note. Perhaps the aides forgot to tell her in the hassle of the morning. Perhaps if you mentioned the note they felt she got it and didn't need to be told again.

And anitbiotics will do nothing against a stomach virus. Antibiotics only work against infection, not viruses.

 

[Microcell]

If you are leaning toward staying at home, I would do it if possible. There are preschools to go to for a few hours every day or every other day. I used to work around that but DS is to young for preschool, so I just work around DH and will resume working around preschool when DS is three. If you don't have to work I would just plain stay home. You can better control what he is exposed to.

 

[AirForceRocks]

And anitbiotics will do nothing against a stomach virus. Antibiotics only work against infection, not viruses.

Unless I misread, her DS does have an ear infection, not a stomach virus.

Edited to add: Never mind, I just saw where she said she hoped the antibiotic would stave off the stomach virus.

 

[AirForceRocks]

Originally posted by Microcell
If you are leaning toward staying at home, I would do it if possible. There are preschools to go to for a few hours every day or every other day. I used to work around that but DS is to young for preschool, so I just work around DH and will resume working around preschool when DS is three. If you don't have to work I would just plain stay home. You can better control what he is exposed to.

Unless kids are kept in the house all the time and away from other people, they are always going to be exposed to something. I don't think that the fear of a stomach virus is reason enough to quit working and stay home, but that's just my opinion.

 

[Hillbeans]

Ok, his teacher just called and questioned why I had his meds in the fridge. I told her it was all detailed in my note and I spoke with the aids and told them the whole story, and she told me she's sorry but she's in a different room today b/c they're short staffed, etc.

In a perfect world, i'd not even want to bring my DS to daycare when he's on medicine, but I really have no choice. I know he's not contagious but I have a responsibility to work. I also pay a small fortune to send him to this private Daycare and I feel if I tell 2 people and make a note to his teacher it should be known what's going on.

Apparently I should just chalk it up to a "bad morning" with the other sick kids and go from here.

 

[bananiem]

Unfortunately the only way to get it "your way" all the time is to hire a private nanny. I don't mean to come off hard on you, honestly but as a former child care teacher and director I tend to stick up for them.
I had 20 children in my room and every parent wants the best for their child and for their (either the parent or the child's) needs to come first. Unfortunately I couldn't do that. There were 19 other kids and parents who wanted the same thing. We did the best we could each and every day and sometimes somebody else's needs took priority.
Between 6:30am and 9:30 am I often didn't have time to think, it was pure reaction to each individual situation that came up because that was our busiest time. After that I could take a breath and forge on. I used to wish each parent could come in for a day or two to see how it all works. It would have opened many eyes.

 

[Hillbeans]

Originally posted by bananiem
Unfortunately the only way to get it "your way" all the time is to hire a private nanny. I don't mean to come off hard on you, honestly but as a former child care teacher and director I tend to stick up for them.
I had 20 children in my room and every parent wants the best for their child and for their (either the parent or the child's) needs to come first. Unfortunately I couldn't do that. There were 19 other kids and parents who wanted the same thing. We did the best we could each and every day and sometimes somebody else's needs took priority.
Between 6:30am and 9:30 am I often didn't have time to think, it was pure reaction to each individual situation that came up because that was our busiest time. After that I could take a breath and forge on. I used to wish each parent could come in for a day or two to see how it all works. It would have opened many eyes.

I agree with a lot of what you're saying and i'm trying not to come off looking like an a**. I just sometimes get the feeling they don't listen. He's in a class with 8 other kids and i've stopped in at the busy morning times and I definitely see how nuts it gets.

I'm sure they get very angry with parents that send kids with stomach viruses, colds, etc., and can understand why they get upset with us parents. I'm not demanding whatsoever and always pay my tuition on time, bring in snacks for all the kids, sell the fundraisers, etc.... I want him in an "organized" center though, not home with a Nanny and I know with any center, the amount of viruses/colds the kids get are multiplied. I really just needed to vent and perhaps if i'd known how crazy it was there today i'd have not gotten as upset as I did.

 

[CamColt]

Go ahead, vent away! I dont blame you for being upset. I would be too. At the very least they should know whats going on with the kids in their care. And you certainly did you part to make sure of that.

 

[Pooh_Friend#1]

I say vent here but don't vent at the teachers, aids or directors until you know what happened.

I worked in a daycare for 6 years. I am sure out of those 6 years I forgot some things too, it wasn't because I was a bad teacher or because I didn't care about the kids, it's just some mornings are worse then others, especially a Monday morning with kids.

The morning time is always the worst from parents sneaking in sick kids that they just drugged, tired kids from the weekend, kids that want to stay home because they had the weekend off, breakfast, parent demands, and more than likely combined classes in the early am. It can be pretty overwhelming and frustrating and there are the times that things just slip your mind. The best bet, especially on a Monday morning, is to leave the note and talk to the aids, but don't assume the lead teacher will get the info right away. Call back later in the morning when all the kids have arrived and breakfast is over.

I believe too that every parent should volunteer for a morning to experience first hand what it is about.

 

[palmtreegirl]

Originally posted by Hillbeans
Ok, his teacher just called and questioned why I had his meds in the fridge. I told her it was all detailed in my note and I spoke with the aids and told them the whole story, and she told me she's sorry but she's in a different room today b/c they're short staffed, etc.

In a perfect world, i'd not even want to bring my DS to daycare when he's on medicine, but I really have no choice. I know he's not contagious but I have a responsibility to work. I also pay a small fortune to send him to this private Daycare and I feel if I tell 2 people and make a note to his teacher it should be known what's going on.

Apparently I should just chalk it up to a "bad morning" with the other sick kids and go from here.

I use to work in a day care center and I think what you described was unacceptable, bad morning or not. I think that you should speak to the director when you go to pick your son up and express your concerns. An open and honest dialouge is very important to have between a provider and a parent and if they don't take the time to listen to your concerns I would start to look elsewhere.

Don't ever feel bad about complaining, you're paying a small fortune to send him there, you have every right to express your concern when you feel things are up to the standards you want and or expect.

 

[Aimeedyan]

I understand you're upset... I also worked in child care for way too long, and the mornings are absolute CHAOS. I didn't have time to think until about 9:30. Around then, I was able to go back and read all the notes left for me, return phone calls from parents or make phone calls, check on medications, fill out accident reports, figure out who needs more pull-ups, etc etc. Anything said to me before that honestly went in one ear and out another because its an absolutely nightmare of a time. Granted, I had 20 and there are only 8 in your sons, but still.

Thankfully, we were able to usually get outside around 930 and I was able to go in (CHILD FREE) and catch up on things for a few minutes.

In this case, I can totally see how they didn't get the message... but you mention that sometimes it seems like they don't listen to you... if its a repeat thing, then its worthy of checking into.

I've just found that mornings are the WORST time to talk to a teacher. I finally got to asking most parents to please call during naptime to talk, or even stop by on their lunch, or give me their number and I would call them. THen I could give them undivided attention and take notes on what we talked about. ALL of my parents were willing to do this, most of them honestly had no idea what chaos goes on in the morning hours and didn't realize how hard it was to talk then, but they loved being able to talk without being distracted.

I would suggest this next time you have bunches of info to pass on... write down things, leave it in his cubby or whatever, then call back later in the morning (ask his teacher when is the best time) and talk with her then. Direct her to the note so she'll have something already written down, and just go over it with her. =)

I hope he doesnt come down with the stomach virus too... argh. I always HATED when parents brought kids in sick. MANY do. But I also agree that they will catch it either at the mall, park, grocery store, or day care... you can't shield them 100% =)

 

[Hillbeans]

I appreciate all of the opinions from both sides, positive and negative.

I've seen a few postings about "working a day at daycare to just see how nuts it is" but quite honestly, the same could be said about Monday mornings at my job where I have 8 people reporting to me.

I give them so much credit, and know how hard all the teachers and aids work. They have a very important job with a huge responsibility. I really do try very hard to NEVER say a word about anything even if it bothers me, but in this case, I just feel like all of my "prep" work by speaking to the aids and writing a note did just go in "one ear and out the other". The teacher has an inbox in the classroom which specifically says to put anything urgent/important in it. Just because you're busy at work, I don't find it acceptable to "just forget" things. What if he needed this medicine at 10 AM and they forgot? Is it my fault that I spoke with 2 aids and left a note where they told me to? That wasn't the case, but they set up a procedure which I followed and now it's my fault for not following up??????????


(edit) again, I truly appreciate all of your opinions...i'm just glad I can vent here and learn both sides of the story from other teachers and mom's first.

 

[crazyme5kids]

Well another childcare worker here chimming in. You have every right to be upset, but please speak with the teacher about it first. Sounds like it was a rough morning, but the info should not have fallen through the cracks. Your son is on medication, they should know about it no if ands or buts. The morning is absolutly the time to let them know of this fact, hectic or not. What if there was a medical emergency involving your child and no one knew to relay the information to an EMT because they didn't know?
I would find out if there is a better spot in the future to leave a not for her. Also, do you need to fill a form out stating what medicine he is on as well as if they are to give him any doses and how much during the day?
Work with the teacher on a way to perhaps come up with a better system on relaying any information about the children's needs for the day.

 

[RitaZ.]

Hillbeans, for what it's worth, I agree with you. You did what you were supposed to do. Maybe the teachers were having a bad day, who knows. At the very least, it sounds to me like there is a communication problem between the teachers and the aides.

 

[Hillbeans]

Last night when I went to pick up my son, I had tried to meet with the director to discuss the events earlier in the day.

Unfortunately she wasn't there. I also found out my son's class had only 3 students and he came home with a full lunchbox with no explanation as to why.

Neeless to say, i've called the director today to make arrangements for a discussion/meeting.

 

[bananiem]

Originally posted by Hillbeans
Unfortunately she wasn't there. I also found out my son's class had only 3 students and he came home with a full lunchbox with no explanation as to why.

Yes, I agree with you that a meeting is in order.

 

[CEDmom]

Originally posted by Microcell
If you are leaning toward staying at home, I would do it if possible. There are preschools to go to for a few hours every day or every other day. I used to work around that but DS is to young for preschool, so I just work around DH and will resume working around preschool when DS is three. If you don't have to work I would just plain stay home. You can better control what he is exposed to.

I don't want to get into a SAHM vs Working Mom debate here but staying home vs going to daycare is not going to eliminate what your child is exposed to. Kids get germs everywhere. There are 2 children in our neighborhood that were hospitalized this past winter for different things and both stay home. So doing that doesn't guarantee anything.

As far as the OP's vent I think it's warranted. However, I'd talk to the teacher first. Also what I've found works is to suggest an alternative to how situations like this are handled. Perhaps a notation on the signin sheet indicating a note was left/child on medication etc. so the teacher just has to quickly glance at it and then follow up once the day gets started.