Son wants to protest new school dress code(which would likely get him into trouble)

[6_Time_Momma]

Ahhhhh......teenagers. Apparently, a new dress code is being implemented in my son's school, which includes such things as no wearing black, everyone must wear belts, no jackets to be worn in school. (you must understand this is a rural, small town school......there are no "gangs" here). The students are in an uproar and have started a petition, which now has 3 pages of signatures, so far. Now, I have no problem with the petition if the kids disagree.

However, my son is wanting to take it farther by actually breaking the dress code rules.......wearing a black armband, for example.

DH and I have told him this would not be allowed.....he needs to find a non-rulebreaking way to protest it. He doesn't seem to grasp the idea of possible disciplinary action by doing a protest in the way he wants, or he doesn't care. He is a straight A student, in band and track, and has never been in trouble at school. I sure as heck don't want him to ruin his record, especially over something like a dress code.

On the other hand, I HAVE always told him to stand up for things he believes in. Now, anyone have any suggestions as to what I can say to convince him NOT to try and break the rules, but rather find another way of protesting? (Other than threatening him with grounding, etc)

 

[Belle1962]

Sounds like a non-violent way to protest to me. Of course I remember being in the "short strike"......we decided that not being allowed to wear shorts to school was a violation of our rights and wore shorts to school one day. We were sent home to change-----no biggie--nothing on our "permanent records". of course this was a big event with lots of people participating. Is anyone else protesting with your son????

 

[got2lovedisney]

I too was an "A" student and I too tried to organize a dress code strike although it was when I was in 6th grade(they didn't allow us to wear jeans). I was reassured of support from fellow students but when the time came I was one of the few who actually followed through and wore my jeans. Got kicked off the school Patrol Guard and in the end, nothing was achieved. In my experiences...unless the parents start protesting, student outrage doesn't usually inspire any policy changes once the school board has made a decision. (I'm still glad I did it. )

Whatever you decide...I'm with your son! Put my name on the petition!

 

[Pop Daddy]

didnt read to long, but I hate dress codes, I would back him

 

[GoofItUp]

There are times to protest and times to not act like a bratty teenager. I think this falls in the latter category. I really wanted to wear some cute summer pants to work today, but couldn't because it's not in the dress code. Those are the rules, and I have to follow them. He, too, will have rules throughout his life that he doesn't like but has to follow. Get use to it.

Sounds like the kids at school are grouping together and getting riled up over this. Try and help him put it in perspective. It's probably not really as big of a deal as what they're making it. There must have been some reason the dress code was implemented. Or does your school board just enjoy being mean?

Good luck!

 

[buddy&wooz]

Was it a decision by adminstrators or school board? If it was a school board I'd suggest that your son try to gather some of the other kids who signed the petition and go to the next board meeting, hopefully with their supportive parents, prepared with a rational argument against the dress code. It might work, depends on the board. If it was administrators maybe he could ask for a meeting between them and a group of students to discuss it, and again, arrive well prepared.

And if that doesn't work, an organized protest might, but I would recommend he not try to go it alone! Would be a shame to be singled out over something like this. I wish him luck, the dress code seems a bit over the top IMO.

 

[Maleficent13]

Just my $0.02. My first thought was, no black??? I would have to go to that school naked then! Everything I own is black. Don't really get the logic there. And none of my pants have belt loops!

But ridiculousness aside, it doesn't sound like your son is a troublemaker. I think I would support him in this. I doubt wearing a black armband is going to keep him out of college. At that age it's important for kids to have some say in what happens to them. If he doesn't accomplish the goal of changing the dress code, it may encourage him to explore alternate methods and perhaps even get him more interested in learning about rules of government.

JMHO.

 

[stinkerbelle]

Originally posted by GoofItUp
I really wanted to wear some cute summer pants to work today, but couldn't because it's not in the dress code. Those are the rules, and I have to follow them. He, too, will have rules throughout his life that he doesn't like but has to follow. Get use to it.

I kinda have to agree with this statement...however no black and all must wear belts? that's an ODD dress code. (I can see no jeans/plain tee shirts/no tank tops) but no black?

I would also say this is not a thing to get 'punished' over...they are just clothes.

god help the poor girl who likes to wear black pants during 'that time'...hehehe...

 

[ontariodisneywoman]

"includes such things as no wearing black, everyone must wear belts, no jackets to be worn in school."

Do you, as a parent, think that perhaps this dress code is a little unreasonable? I could understand if the dress code was no bandanas, no exposed stomaches, skirts need to be knee length or longer, no hats in class..... But No Black? You Must wear a Belt? If you think this dress code is as ridiculous as it sounds, support your son in his decision to protest. It sounds like your son is a very intelligent and thoughtful young man-I hope my son will have courage like yours does- to stand up for something he believes in- even if it is only the colour black.

 

[Briar Rose 7457]

is there a rationale for some of these restrictions?

our school dress code is designed to prevent distractions. no bare midriffs, skirts/shorts must be of an appropriate lenght, no one may have underwear or bra straps showing, things like that. in neighboring districts, some schools have banned hats/headcoverings, again, not necessarily because they're gang symbols, but because they're distractions.


I believe the ban on black was because the Columbine shooters would come to school dressed entirely in black...but I don't think banning the color is rational and achieves the purpose.

thre's a whole line of cases dating from the Vietnam era about what school administrators can and cannot do vis a vis a dress code. might be worth looking into if you think the code violates your son's first amendment rights.

in our schools, kids get sent home if they aren't dressed appropriately. it's only after repeated problems that disclipinary action is taken.

peaceful protest often works. but you need to make your son aware of the consequences of doing something that viiolates the code, and have him weigh the consequences against any possible benefit he might gain from such protest. example, civil rights leaders knew that they'd go to jail, but it was worth it to draw attention to the cause and have the laws changed. is detention worth it for this dress code?

 

[piglet too]

I agree that the new dress-code seems a bit farfetched. If all he wants to do is wear a black armband, I would support him. I also would go as far as wearing one myself if I was called to go pick him up.

 

[MICKEY88]

does that include black shoes...???

perhaps he could wear a black belt.....

 

[DisneyVillain]

Before he resorts to civil disobedience, he should contact the ACLU and see what they have to say.

 

[Gwene65]

While I didn't read your whole post I must say that the rules his school is implementing is crazy.

What is school for? To learn. While some rules are good, I think students should be able to wear whatever they choose. We had a dress code at my school and I never follwed it. I was also a straight A student.
We were allowed to wear black and pants w/o belts though. The people running the school board over there seem radical. They might as well just have uniforms.


If he wants to wear a black armband-I would let him b/c he is allowed to speak his mind and he would be doing it in a non violent way. I think it a good way to take a stand and to express his disagreeance. (IS that a word?)


Just my 2 cents.

 

[gallaj0]

How about a protest where he IS following the rules, to the letter.
Have everyone get the biggest, ugliest belts they can find, pair it up with some plaid and stripes, the most obnoxious colors they can find. Thrift stores are good for this kind of thing. If they can't wear jackets, have everyone wear a sweater, but wear it around your neck like Buffy at Todd at the polo club.
The idea is to make them see the absurdity in such arbitrary rules, and realize the error of their ways.
And as long as they follwing the written letter of the law, they have no ground to stand on if they try to hand out any punishment for the protest. By defining what they can't wear, that leaves everything else good to wear, otherwise it would be on the list.

 

[6_Time_Momma]

Originally posted by gallaj0
How about a protest where he IS following the rules, to the letter.
Have everyone get the biggest, ugliest belts they can find, pair it up with some plaid and stripes, the most obnoxious colors they can find. Thrift stores are good for this kind of thing. If they can't wear jackets, have everyone wear a sweater, but wear it around your neck like Buffy at Todd at the polo club.
The idea is to make them see the absurdity in such arbitrary rules, and realize the error of their ways.
And as long as they follwing the written letter of the law, they have no ground to stand on if they try to hand out any punishment for the protest. By defining what they can't wear, that leaves everything else good to wear, otherwise it would be on the list.

Okay, THIS cracks me up!! I should show this to him. As to the "whys" of the whole thing. Apparently, it has to do with trying to discourage "gangs" (black clothes, baggy pants=gang clothes and jackets could hide a gun). I consider the whole thing(if that is indeed the reasoning) to be absurd. As I said, we live in a rural community with a pop of about 3000. There are no gangs. I realize him breaking the rules as a protest wouldn't prevent him from college.

I'll have to see how things went at school today.

 

[caitycaity]

If he wants to wear a black armband-I would let him b/c he is allowed to speak his mind and he would be doing it in a non violent way. I think it a good way to take a stand and to express his disagreeance.

i agree. we had a similar non-violent protest in my high school. my parents encouraged me because it was something i felt strongly about.

but then again, my parents were non-violent protestors themselves, back in the day.

 

[4greatboys]

We had a similar thing happen at our school. The board decided to go with "standardized" dress. You could wear black pants but not black pants and shirt. The community was pretty mad how they handled the whole thing--no announcements it would be on their agenda the night they voted it it. Oddly enough the week AFTER the school board elections.
We did protest at school board meeting and the kids did wear armbands in protest.
Let you son protest if its something he feels stronly about. There is a way to stand up for what you believe in without going overboard.

 

[Evil Princess]

Work is different than school. When you get a job you are told of the dress code, which tends to make more sense since it's a professional environment.

How is wearing black or not wearing a belt helping students learn better? We had a dress code the last two years, but like Briar Roses, it was more to eliminate distractions (no mid-drifts, no spaghetti straps, no "wife-beater" tank tops, etc). Yeah, we all got annoyed with it, but at least the whole "no distractions to the other students" concepts made sense?

No black? How is that logical?

I think that some of you are forgetting what it was like to be in high school. If I couldn't wear black that would be a major problem, all throughout school I wore black pants at least twice a week, and most of my pants didn't have belt loops. I don't think that your sons protesting is "bratty" teenage behavior, I think that people are calling it bratty BECAUSE of your sons age.

Obviously he has a good academic record and standing within the school, so he's not conducting obnoxious behavior just to annoy a few people and get attention. A black arm-band, a protest pin, whatever similar, those are peaceful ways to protest. Never would I consider them bratty teenage behavior.

 

[Disney Doll]

I like the idea of following the dress code to the letter, but wearing kooky things.

Undoubtedly, your son is thinking that he is going ot make a statement. But unless he is quite sure that he has many of his peers behind him, then the only statement he will be making will be a silly one when he is the fella that gets into trouble because all the other kids who "said" they'd support him didn't.

I would also agree that having a group of the kids get together and draw up some questions/reasons as to why this dress code was instituted for presentation at the next school board meeting is a good way to go.

I am all for teaching kids to stand up for their rights, but they need to be taught ways to effectively do so.

A an aside, we live in a small suburban town (not quite rural, but very small suburban) and you'd be amazed at the things that are going on in high school that the parents of the kids think "aren't happening here".