Sometimes you get fooled

[manning]

A Policeman was sitting in his patrol car, parked outside a bar in Wisconsin at 4 am. After last call the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk.

The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity in which he tried his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his car and fall into it. He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off.

Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off, - it was a fine, dry summer night - flicked the blinkers on and off a couple of times, honked the horn and then switched on the lights. He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained still for a few more minutes as some more of the other patrons' vehicles left.

At last, when his was the only car left in the parking lot, he pulled out and drove very slowly down the road.

The police officer, having waited patiently all this time, now started up his patrol car, put on the flashing lights, and promptly pulled the man over so he could administered a breathalyzer test. To his amazement, the breathalyzer indicated no evidence that the man had consumed any alcohol at all!

Dumbfounded, the officer said, "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the sheriffs office. This breathalyzer equipment must be broken."

"I doubt it," said the man.. "Tonight I'm the designated decoy."

 

[dis-happy]

Hilarious!

 

[SaraJayne]

Wisconsin *is* the drunkest state in the country!

 

[Jennasis]

This hits close to home...

Many years ago, I was out at a local bar with some coworkers, al lof whom like to partake in the "adult" beverages. I myself do not. Not a tea-totaller, but I HATE alcohol (the way it tastes), so I was strictly drinking Diet Coke. As the night wore on, I realized it was getting WAY late and that my (now ex) DH would be peeved off that I was getting home so late. So we all gathered up our stuff and beat a hasty retreat for the exit. I jumped in my VERY flashy sports car, and pulled out of the parking lot...admittedly a little rougher and faster than I should have, and about a half mile down the road I get pulled over. I assume they wanted me for speeding, but as I was approached from BOTH sides of the cars by plain clothes detectives in their unmarked car, I realize trouble is afoot! The officer leans down to my window and flashes me in the face with his flashlight...his badge hanging around his neck.

"You been drinkin' tonight ma'am?" he says in his super serious cop-voice.

I start BELLY LAUGHING right at him. I couldn't help it. I composed my self enough to tell him "No officer...you just pulled over the only sober person in that bar. AND managed to miss about 15 of my drunk coworkers. But if you hang here long enough, your bound to catch at least one of them!"

I then offered to take a breathalyzer test. He swore under his breath and let me go with a warning to "drive carefully".

The next day all my coworkers came running up to ask if I'd been ticketed as they saw the cop go tearing off after me when I pulled out of the lot.

 

[AKL_Megs]

LOL!

I just told this joke to my DH who, a police officer AND a poor sport, didn't laugh and said, "That's an old joke."

I think it's hilarious!

 

[pixiewings71]

This hits close to home...

Many years ago, I was out at a local bar with some coworkers, al lof whom like to partake in the "adult" beverages. I myself do not. Not a tea-totaller, but I HATE alcohol (the way it tastes), so I was strictly drinking Diet Coke. As the night wore on, I realized it was getting WAY late and that my (now ex) DH would be peeved off that I was getting home so late. So we all gathered up our stuff and beat a hasty retreat for the exit. I jumped in my VERY flashy sports car, and pulled out of the parking lot...admittedly a little rougher and faster than I should have, and about a half mile down the road I get pulled over. I assume they wanted me for speeding, but as I was approached from BOTH sides of the cars by plain clothes detectives in their unmarked car, I realize trouble is afoot! The officer leans down to my window and flashes me in the face with his flashlight...his badge hanging around his neck.

"You been drinkin' tonight ma'am?" he says in his super serious cop-voice.

I start BELLY LAUGHING right at him. I couldn't help it. I composed my self enough to tell him "No officer...you just pulled over the only sober person in that bar. AND managed to miss about 15 of my drunk coworkers. But if you hang here long enough, your bound to catch at least one of them!"

I then offered to take a breathalyzer test. He swore under his breath and let me go with a warning to "drive carefully".

The next day all my coworkers came running up to ask if I'd been ticketed as they saw the cop go tearing off after me when I pulled out of the lot.

I had something similar to this happen to me. I was at the club with my BFF, we were out dancing and we really didn't drink at all that night, just water. When we left we left together but in different cars and different directions, we got to the stop sign, she went right, I went left, we were both stopped on the crosswalk paint and the ground was wet (from sprinklers I guess as it was summer and not raining) so when I took off I squeaked the tires, just barely, I hardly heard it. I had a stick at the time and sometimes that happened in that car, anyway I got up to the speed limit and stopped accelerating, drove 1 mile to the my next turn, turned, drove about a mile farther and then the cop (that had been behind me for quite a while) flipped on his lights (he could tell I was going to get on the freeway so his chance was dwindling). I pulled over, rolled down my window, he told me I'd been drinking, he didn't ask me if I had he said "you've been drinking tonight" as a statement not a question, I said "well, yes, I had about 3 bottles of water", then he said "don't lie to me, I know you've been drinking" I said "yes, 3 bottles of water but no alcohol" and he said "NO you were drinking, you are driving too carefully to not have been drinking!" and then he said "what did you throw out your window back there?" I said "excuse me?" he said "what did you throw out the window, I saw you throw something out your passenger window back there, don't make me go LOOK for it!" and I said "Sir, there is no way I could have thrown anything out my window....my windows are not power, look." and I gestured to the hand crank for my non-power windows! LOL Then he said "why did you take off so fast from the stop sign back there by the BAR if you haven't been drinking?" I said "I'm sorry, my car is a stick, the ground was wet enough to make the tires chirp when I pulled out, that's all it was. Would you like to give me a sobriety test? I know I will pass as all I've had to drink tonight was water." He said "no, it's fine, go on your way but don't take off like that anymore." I know he lost out on pulling over a lot of actual drunk drivers that night because he decided to go after me for a tire chirp. lol

OP that's a pretty funny joke.

 

[Becky2005]

This actually happened to me in reality!!! Not the designated decoy but I got pulled over for drunk driving and I don't drink -- so the poor officer is asking me all these questions and I'm thinking "UMMM...why exactly DID you pull me over?" "Was I speeding?" (I didn't think I was but the area is a KNOWN speed trap) "Do I have a light out?" What?

Even after he has asked me if I had been drinking -- the lightbulb wasn't going on at all for me why the heck I was stopped. Turns out I was going too slow & it happened to be Labor Day weekend (and that even threw me MORE for a loop as the police officer is saying "with it being a holiday weekend" -- and me thinking "WHAT holiday?")....obviously we don't celebrate Labor Day too much here.

It was late at night and DD was at a competition at a local hotel, we had come home so she could take a shower here at home vs. the hotel one but we had a room, I was just chit-chatting with her and was in the right lane in a 4 lane highway (so people could have passed except I was the ONLY car on the road!) and had just pulled out of the residential area, so didn't realize I was still going 35 mph in the 40 - 45 mph zone....of course, then turning into an industrial area probably didn't help much either but it was a shortcut to the hotel and as soon as I said it then the guy was "Oh is your DD in the competition there? I was there earlier today."

I don't think my DD will let me live that down EVER!!! She was rolling on the floor after she gained composure since I scared the living daylights out of her when I said "we are being followed" -- I didn't specify by police so she thought some crazed person was following us and she was thinking "OK, I have my hair brush" for protection. As if that was going to help anything but at least she was thinking ahead!

It only took me until 1/2 into the conversation to realize that OH...the question of have you been drinking WAS why I was stopped!!!!!

 

[avgeek81]

When i was 19 i worked a summer job with a girl who went to college in maine. One weekend me and my friend went to visit her and we took a trip to Canada. We went to a bar my friend and i werent really drinkers but the girl who went to school there and her friends were. We were coming back into the US and right when we get to the border a cop car puts his lights on. When we get to the border the guard is like why were you in a high speed chase. We're like we werent he just put his light on. Then he asks my friend who was driving and takes antianxiety meds if she had been drinking. She says they have but i havent I'm on m-m-mild sedatives. The guard made us get out, searched the car and sent us on our way.

 

[punkin]

DH got pulled over a few weeks ago for drinking while driving. He was drinking.....wait for it......

Ginger beer. Blew a 0.0 and laughed all the way home.

 

[manning]

LOL!

I just told this joke to my DH who, a police officer AND a poor sport, didn't laugh and said, "That's an old joke."

I think it's hilarious!

Could it be he got fooled??