Some people should not be allowed to have kids (vent)

[MizTink]

How do you know there is no food in the home for the children? Have you SEEN it with your own eyes? I only ask because if the CHILD is telling you that there is no food, it might not actually be true. Just ask my kids about what food is in MY house...I'll go grocery shopping and spend $200, then come over my house an hour later and my kids will SWEAR that there is "no food in the house". I'm just sayin'.......

But yes, some people definitely should NOT have kids.

yep. that's what i thought too. i have a freezer full, fridge full, and double pantry full of stuff. plus some fruit and junk type stuff on the table and sitting around on counters/tables. yet they swear there is never anything to eat.
if there truly isn't anything, then that's not right.

 

[PixieTopaz]

yep. that's what i thought too. i have a freezer full, fridge full, and double pantry full of stuff. plus some fruit and junk type stuff on the table and sitting around on counters/tables. yet they swear there is never anything to eat.
if there truly isn't anything, then that's not right.

I agree-a kid would say that-if his favorite thing isnt in the house

That "Dad" needs a vasectamy

 

[MizTink]

OP, the kid sounds like a punk and if he was my ds's friend I would have a hard time believing anything he said. It doesn't matter what is reasons are for stealinjg and lying, a kid that does that doesn't really measure all that high on the trust meter, IMO. I realize you know him and I do not but from what you posted he sounds like a bad seed, and yes his dad doesn't sound much better.

i think it's so sad to think this way about a kid having problems. this is a hard time for kids, and his family sucks. that doesn't mean you just write the kid off and leave him to fail at life.
the positive people in his life have the opportunity to make a huge impact on his future.

 

[disneyjunkie]

All the moms have their hands full just making enough money to put food in the mouths of their children and a roof over their heads. In the case of this child, his mother got him into our school which is known to have great and caring teachers. She comes to parent conferences and she keeps trying to get him face time with his father, which she believes is good for the boy. I'd love to tell her to cut her losses there but she knows the man better than I do. The mother of the toddlers-dad's current woman-I do not know at all. I've only seen the kids.

Maybe I'm reading this wrong, but you seem to be placing all the blame on the dad. I think the mother has just much to do with what is going on as the father.

What is she doing about the stealing? What is she doing about the lack of food at the father's house? ( I don't believe they don't have any food in the house. Most likely they don't have food boy wants to eat.) If she's aware of this, is she sending food with her son when he visits his father? What type of men does the mother have around her son?

i think it's so sad to think this way about a kid having problems. this is a hard time for kids, and his family sucks. that doesn't mean you just write the kid off and leave him to fail at life.
the positive people in his life have the opportunity to make a huge impact on his future.

It doesn't mean you put yourself and your kids in danger either. You have no idea what else he may be into or who else he has stolen from. Anything can happen to this kid and those around him.

 

[luvmy3]

i think it's so sad to think this way about a kid having problems. this is a hard time for kids, and his family sucks. that doesn't mean you just write the kid off and leave him to fail at life.
the positive people in his life have the opportunity to make a huge impact on his future.

Huh, where did I say he should be written off
I'm just going to believe what comes out of a kid like that's mouth. If he says his Dad doesn't have any food, I'm not going to run and report the dad to CPS for starving his kids, and I think that is insane to have that as your first reaction (when its said by a kid who is known to steal). Lots of kids have problems, and lots of them grow up to be fine, I never said this kid wouldn't.

 

[shortbun]

Those of you who don't believe there's no food in the house are pretty naive. There are literally hundreds of thousands of children going without meals in this country. In our school district alone, over 60% of the children qualify for free meals and the superintendent hesitates to call a snow day because she knows the kids may not eat that day. On my afternoon take home run, the teachers send the children home with food and bags of clothes. A man supporting 8 children on a bus driver's salary makes maybe 40K and those mothers making minimum wage or nothing in a state where the average unemployment is at 11% and much higher in the community of color can do very little to support her children. Lets hope the mothers are using WIC and goodness knows our food pantries are bare. I'm sorry this thread came to this-my intent was to share my disgust at this man's attitude towards his children, especially the ones who really need him, his love and discipline.

Anyway, kids are starving in this country every day in your city and in mine. If you don't know that...well, it's a fact.

Btw, it's possible his mother doesn't know about the lack of food. He told my son and another boy this in a quiet talk among teenaged boys. This was no brag, it was a sad complaint from a boy who's father does not care about him.

 

[PixieTopaz]

Those of you who don't believe there's no food in the house are pretty naive. .

Btw, it's possible his mother doesn't know about the lack of food. He told my son and another boy this in a quiet talk among teenaged boys. This was no brag, it was a sad complaint from a boy who's father does not care about him.

I dont buy that. Any kid will complain if he is forced to spend time with a deadbeat Father who wont feed him.

At first you say the kid was your son's friend-then just a player on a team he's on. I really, really would not want my kids hanging out or playing sports with at risk kids, but kudos to you for taking on the challenge.

 

[disneyjunkie]

Those of you who don't believe there's no food in the house are pretty naive. There are literally hundreds of thousands of children going without meals in this country. In our school district alone, over 60% of the children qualify for free meals and the superintendent hesitates to call a snow day because she knows the kids may not eat that day. On my afternoon take home run, the teachers send the children home with food and bags of clothes. A man supporting 8 children on a bus driver's salary makes maybe 40K and those mothers making minimum wage or nothing in a state where the average unemployment is at 11% and much higher in the community of color can do very little to support her children. Lets hope the mothers are using WIC and goodness knows our food pantries are bare. I'm sorry this thread came to this-my intent was to share my disgust at this man's attitude towards his children, especially the ones who really need him, his love and discipline.

Anyway, kids are starving in this country every day in your city and in mine. If you don't know that...well, it's a fact.

Btw, it's possible his mother doesn't know about the lack of food. He told my son and another boy this in a quiet talk among teenaged boys. This was no brag, it was a sad complaint from a boy who's father does not care about him.

I'm far from naive.

I'm a single mother. I'm a person of color. I grew up, live in and teach in an inner city section of Brooklyn(Bedford-Stuyvesant). The vast majority of the kids in my area receieve free or reduced lunch. 18 or my 19 students qualify for free lunch.

It's not uncommon for my students to come in complaining about being hungry and saying they don't have food in the house. When I speak to the parents, I find out that the child did not want mom cooked for breakfast. Instead they wanted cold cereal. In some cases they wanted something from the local bodega.

Like I said before, it seems like you want to flame the dad while praising the mom. I think they are both at fault for what is going on with that child.

 

[MizTink]

Huh, where did I say he should be written off
I'm just going to believe what comes out of a kid like that's mouth. If he says his Dad doesn't have any food, I'm not going to run and report the dad to CPS for starving his kids, and I think that is insane to have that as your first reaction (when its said by a kid who is known to steal). Lots of kids have problems, and lots of them grow up to be fine, I never said this kid wouldn't.

you said he's a "bad seed", and someone else said he shouldn't be around the OP's son. that's what i was referring to.

if this kid doesn't have a good home, good parents, or even food, then you certainly shouldn't turn your back on him too. the best chance he has at growing up to be a good adult is with the influence of the good people in his life.

OP, if you truly believe that there isn't food in that house, then you have a responsibility to make the phone call and report it. even if you try to provide for the boy yourself, there are younger kids in the home going hungry too. there is help available, but the parents have to be willing to look for it. sounds like dad is taking care of himself (op mentioned the dad's nice stuff...)

 

[MizTink]

the phone call can be made anonymously. CPS can send someone to check on the kids. if there is a problem, they can help correct it. if there's no problem, no harm done.
i think the OP knows the boy's situation better than any of us and knows if she needs to make the call or not.
the boy's dad sounds like a loser and should be sterilized!!!

 

[disneyjunkie]

you said he's a "bad seed", and someone else said he shouldn't be around the OP's son. that's what i was referring to.

if this kid doesn't have a good home, good parents, or even food, then you certainly shouldn't turn your back on him too. the best chance he has at growing up to be a good adult is with the influence of the good people in his life.

Do you have any idea how often kids are shot or killed because they just happen to be with the wrong person at the wrong time?

 

[MizTink]

I dont buy that. Any kid will complain if he is forced to spend time with a deadbeat Father who wont feed him.

At first you say the kid was your son's friend-then just a player on a team he's on. I really, really would not want my kids hanging out or playing sports with at risk kids, but kudos to you for taking on the challenge.

EVERY kid is an at risk kid.

 

[disneyjunkie]

EVERY kid is an at risk kid.

Really???

 

[luvmy3]

Those of you who don't believe there's no food in the house are pretty naive. There are literally hundreds of thousands of children going without meals in this country. In our school district alone, over 60% of the children qualify for free meals and the superintendent hesitates to call a snow day because she knows the kids may not eat that day. On my afternoon take home run, the teachers send the children home with food and bags of clothes. A man supporting 8 children on a bus driver's salary makes maybe 40K and those mothers making minimum wage or nothing in a state where the average unemployment is at 11% and much higher in the community of color can do very little to support her children. Lets hope the mothers are using WIC and goodness knows our food pantries are bare. I'm sorry this thread came to this-my intent was to share my disgust at this man's attitude towards his children, especially the ones who really need him, his love and discipline.

Anyway, kids are starving in this country every day in your city and in mine. If you don't know that...well, it's a fact.

Btw, it's possible his mother doesn't know about the lack of food. He told my son and another boy this in a quiet talk among teenaged boys. This was no brag, it was a sad complaint from a boy who's father does not care about him.

No not naive, I know kids are starving every day in this country. However, a teen saying there is no food in the house is not proof that there really is no food. A teen possessing a stolen laptop does not mean he is starving. A teen stealing soda and candy does not mean he is starving. It means he is troubled and trouble. Could he have no food to eat at his dad's house, sure but there really is nothing in your post that convinces me that its anything more than a kid (who clearly has issues) complaining about the choices he has in his dad's house and why he doesn't want to go. Mayeb he just doesn't feel comfortable enough to open up and say why he really doesn't want to go, it certainly sounds like his reasons could run way deeper than having nothing to eat. Could I be wrong, sure but unless you post that you have absolute proof that this kid is in fact starving (being a jerk of a father does not mean he is neglecting his kids' basic need of food), I will stick to my opinion.

you said he's a "bad seed", and someone else said he shouldn't be around the OP's son. that's what i was referring to.

if this kid doesn't have a good home, good parents, or even food, then you certainly shouldn't turn your back on him too. the best chance he has at growing up to be a good adult is with the influence of the good people in his life.

OP, if you truly believe that there isn't food in that house, then you have a responsibility to make the phone call and report it. even if you try to provide for the boy yourself, there are younger kids in the home going hungry too. there is help available, but the parents have to be willing to look for it. sounds like dad is taking care of himself (op mentioned the dad's nice stuff...)

He's a thief, that makes him a bad seed. Can he change, sure no doubt about it but that doesn't mean that right now he isn't a troubled youth. I think you and I have different ideas of what help is. I don't consider it help when someone calls CPS just because they "think" they know whats going on. I don't believe its everyone's responsibility to call CPS just because they don't agree with the father's lifestyle and parenting skills. When there is proof of neglect and abuse, sure make that call but when you don't have the proof, you have no business calling. Obviously you don't share that thought.

 

[MizTink]

No, I won't 'join you in piling it on this guy'

I guess this isn't an attacking post because he isn;t on DIS... that you know of. Regardless, what you have SAID is still completely out of line, IMO. While I may share some of your frustration, you have expressed it poorly and in a way non-conducive to any sort of fruitful outcome.

What the father's sunglasses or shoes have to do with his children's food I have no idea... my 6 year old has a pair of $100 ray bans. They were free. andhave lasted 3 years. I wear Air Max 360s becasue they are less expensive than knee surgery. (They were $75 and last 2 years+, good value IMO, though i have gotten simialr shoes free before, too.)

When I was HOMELESS and DIRT POOR< it would have been false economy to sell good name brand shoes and buy cheaper. Those shoes lasted several YEARS, a cheap pair of shoes only lasts 6 months.

it is still 'casting false light' and casting aspersions, rude, and based upon eavesdropping, not any facts. It is also possibly Slander, if not Libel.

Your statement that you would like to forcibly sterilize him.. You just admitted to wanting to commit a human rights atrocity!
Not cool. webster.edu/~woolflm/forcedsterilization.html

I wonder why it is ONLY HIS fault in your mind he has 8 children by 4 women, and there is no scorn in your post forthe women who chose to reproduce with this man... #2, #3, and especially #4? It seems that since "what a woman does with her body is her business" you should be madder at them, than he.




Why not NOT post, and go donate some food to your local food bank instead?
You'll feel better, you won't work yourself into hysterionics like you did in this thread, and you'll actually do some good for the community.

Otherwise, unless you have some proof that his children are STARVING, and not that the well-fed (if he can play sports, he's well fed) visiting son isn't just griping IN PRIVATE TO SOMEONE ELSE, perhaps it is best to keep your opinion to yourself. Unsupported Opinions often say more about YOU than they do about anything else.

Dang.......a little harsh, don't you think???

 

[MizTink]

it is still 'casting false light' and casting aspersions, rude, and based upon eavesdropping, not any facts. It is also possibly Slander, if not Libel.

Your statement that you would like to forcibly sterilize him.. You just admitted to wanting to commit a human rights atrocity!
Not cool. webster.edu/~woolflm/forcedsterilization.html

and this is just plain stupid.......

 

[Sparx]

Really???

Yes. Poverty could happen to anyone at any time in their life. Over half the children in america will be in poverty for some point in their life before they turn 18. The most at risk for poverty are the young and the old, but it truly can strike at any time, no matter how educated or how much work experience someone has. A catastrophic event like Hurricane Katrina, homelessness, or a terrible disease can throw someone into poverty almost immediately.

 

[MizTink]

Back to the original thread title, "SOME PEOPLE SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO HAVE KIDS".
These kind of people really tick me off.
Here's a little personal experience...
I have 2 kids living with me who are not mine. One is my DS's GF18. She moved in when she and DS had a baby. Her 16 year old brother just moved in with us too. These 2 kids were taken away from their mom and spent several years in foster care. They were returned to her apx. 6 years ago. She is still not fit to be a parent. We are in the process of terminating her parental rights and getting permanent legal custody of the 16 year old. This woman has an 8 year old boy who will most likely be removed too. Yet she is TRYING to get pregnant again. WTH??? She is one of those people who i wish could be sterilized, even if against her wishes!!

 

[MizTink]

Yes. Poverty could happen to anyone at any time in their life. Over half the children in america will be in poverty for some point in their life before they turn 18. The most at risk for poverty are the young and the old, but it truly can strike at any time, no matter how educated or how much work experience someone has. A catastrophic event like Hurricane Katrina, homelessness, or a terrible disease can throw someone into poverty almost immediately.

and poverty isn't the only thing to put kids at risk....

 

[MizTink]

i know this thread sort of died overnight, but this morning i was thinking about what "at risk" means regarding kids/teens.
this is something i found and it sounds like just about every kid could qualify at some point or another.
http://www.at-risk.org/whois-atrisk.html
so yeah, i do still feel like every kid is an at risk kid. one is no better than the other. they just may be at different stages of life and have different levels of support at home.