so your feelings on a teen's baby shower?

[Robinrs]

I do know the statistics in your state, but I do in mine. Are you telling me that most children that have children are NOT on assistance, NOT on free government insurance ... if so then I stand corrected but I seriously doubt it.

This!

Very well said and dead on.

Wow, really? Because we don't see getting pregnant at 15 something to celebrate? Sigh.

The analogies here are disturbing. Again, comparing getting a degree and paying for it to a child getting pregnant and others paying are the same? Yes, the family and or government, I mean both. NO one has said stone them, omg but comparing these 2 is way off base and not factual.

FYI, you can do multi quotes by clicking on the quote sign (") of the quote you want then the final one you click on the word QUOTE.

And it is AMAZING what some people find "disturbing". I find everything you've said and agreed with disturbing and judgmental.

Btw, Where is the father in all of this? Is anyone celebrating or pooh poohing him? Is anyone giving him the shame that is given to the Mom?

 

[KatheeME]

For those of you putting a scarlet letter on the teen mom -- you know who you are -- when do they get to remove it? Or do they ever? If you can't condone a teen pregnancy, are you okay with an abortion?

I think a teen mom needs all the support she can get. Raising a child is hard and having a bunch of judgmental busybodies looking down their noses at you certainly doesn't help the mother or the child.

For the record, I was 26 and married when my first child was born. While my mother was a teen (19), she had been married a year.

NO ONE is painting a scarlet letter on anyone. Not condoning and celebrating is not the same. Yes, abortion is an option as is adoption. Keeping the baby is as well, just not going to celebrate a 15 year old having a baby. A gift for the baby is fine, but congratulating the mom is not. Yes a party is congratulating the mom.

 

[KatheeME]

I assume this means you think the teen is somehow guilty?

As for the question of whether a single shower will make teen pregnancy seem contagiously fun, I clearly remember being a teen, and I seriously doubt a little cake and a couple games would convince me I wanted to have a baby. As for her friends playing along, what would be preferable--that they sit around, cluck their tongues, and shake their heads? Of course they seem happy for her--they're being supportive. That doesn't mean they'd exchange their freedom and their immediate futures for some confetti and cupcakes.

Well, at the risk of appearing hard nosed again, the mother and father ARE guilty, the baby isn't coming from the cabbage patch for goodness sake.

 

[KatheeME]

Just happened on this thread-- I am sad to read some of these posts, and first and foremost want to address the moms out there that have felt helpless and alone. I am sad that you have ever felt shame. Life is to be celebrated, and there is no rewind button on life. The baby is there--That is undeniable. What is left? Support the mom, support the baby with love. I work in my Catholic church ministry giving out diapers, wipes, clothes, etc every three days. There is always hope and always love to be found.

Adoption? Abortion? A CHOICE maybe, not a personal belief(religion shhh can't say that word here) telling others what to do?

 

[luvsJack]

NO ONE is painting a scarlet letter on anyone. Not condoning and celebrating is not the same. Yes, abortion is an option as is adoption. Keeping the baby is as well, just not going to celebrate a 15 year old having a baby. A gift for the baby is fine, but congratulating the mom is not. Yes a party is congratulating the mom.

If it is celebrating anything it is celebrating a LIFE. A brand new little life. Not that the mother is only 15 but that a new life is being born.

I have never heard anyone tell a 15 year old "congratulations on your pregnancy" and that isn't really what the shower is for.

But the fact is, if you are invited to a shower of a 15 year old you have every right not to attend; doesn't make having the shower wrong though. And doesn't make you any less judgmental.

 

[KatheeME]

over react much? You got all of this because someone said they don't like showers for teen mom's. You have way too much time on your hands if you got all that from reading between the lines here.

And interesting how you are all calling some of these posters judgmental. I have never seen a bigger bunch of judgmental people than here. Pot, meet kettle

 

[luvsJack]

Well, at the risk of appearing hard nosed again, the mother and father ARE guilty, the baby isn't coming from the cabbage patch for goodness sake.

Wow really? are you that pure and innocent? Hope you have the stones ready.

 

[gwynne]

NO ONE is painting a scarlet letter on anyone. Not condoning and celebrating is not the same. Yes, abortion is an option as is adoption. Keeping the baby is as well, just not going to celebrate a 15 year old having a baby. A gift for the baby is fine, but congratulating the mom is not. Yes a party is congratulating the mom.

And that would be your very own personal opinion, which you certainly have a right to.
Others that see great value in mentoring, caring and loving both the baby and the mom have an equally valid opinion.

 

[luvsJack]

Adoption? Abortion? A CHOICE maybe, not a personal belief(religion shhh can't say that word here) telling others what to do?

And the 15 year old has every right not to make those choices. It is HER body and HER baby you know.

Who here is telling anyone what choice to make?

 

[KatheeME]

Hmmmmm . . . Do all of these morally judgemental people ever think of a certain unwed pregnant teenager that lived about 2000 years ago?
Granted - she was a Virgin - but thank goodness Joseph and others we're willing to believe her and show compassion!

really? Now is bringing up a taboo item on the Dis? OMgawd

 

[KatheeME]

And the 15 year old has every right not to make those choices. It is HER body and HER baby you know.

Who here is telling anyone what choice to make?

No, but there are always consequences for choices, and a child can not always see that at the time .

 

[luvsJack]

really? Now is bringing up a taboo item on the Dis? OMgawd

taboo or not, she has a point.

No, but there are always consequences for choices, and a child can not always see that at the time .

Doesn't make it any less her choice.

 

[KatheeME]

FYI, you can do multi quotes by clicking on the quote sign (") of the quote you want then the final one you click on the word QUOTE.

And it is AMAZING what some people find "disturbing". I find everything you've said and agreed with disturbing and judgmental.

Btw, Where is the father in all of this? Is anyone celebrating or pooh poohing him? Is anyone giving him the shame that is given to the Mom?

Because I am pointing out another choice or do not believe in congratulating a child on having a child? Um, okay ....

 

[njmom47]

A teen mom needs all the help and support she can get, IMO. I don't get this need to ostracize her and the child.

Once the baby arrives, her friends will see the day to day grind and the sacrifice that's involved.

As the mother of a teen mom (although she was 18)...she did participate in a local teen mom organization, which opened her eyes to a lot of different things (one being that one of the girls in the group got thrown out of her house when she told her parents she was pregnant. It never occurred to my dd that could or would happen to her), including how hard she would have to work at being a teen mom to be successful in life.

She is now being asked to speak at their 10th Anniversary dinner.

 

[KatheeME]

Wow really? are you that pure and innocent? Hope you have the stones ready.

Um, do you think it was some "immaculate conception" .. please it would have been all over FB. Seriously, they got pregnant, they are "guilty" of that. And "guilty" wasn't my choice of word, it was another poster, fyi.

 

[KatheeME]

taboo or not, she has a point.



Doesn't make it any less her choice.

Ah, talking religion is okay as long as I agree with you, got it.

 

[KatheeME]

And the 15 year old has every right not to make those choices. It is HER body and HER baby you know.

Who here is telling anyone what choice to make?

Read the posts.

 

[luvsJack]

Um, do you think it was some "immaculate conception" .. please it would have been all over FB. Seriously, they got pregnant, they are "guilty" of that. And "guilty" wasn't my choice of word, it was another poster, fyi.

You are determined to judge the teen parents. Does that somehow make you feel morally better than they are?

They are guilty of making a mistake and being the ones to pay the price. That is it.

Have you never made a mistake in your life? Oh, wait. . . forgot who I was taking to there for a minute; of course not. You are as pure as the driven snow, right?

Ah, talking religion is okay as long as I agree with you, got it.

Oh, did I miss something? Did I get honored with making the rules today?


Sorry, I don't make the rules so you are wasting your sarcasm on the wrong person.

 

[luvsJack]

Read the posts.

I did and no one said the mother "must" keep the child. But keeping the child is one choice.

 

[Robinrs]

Because I am pointing out another choice or do not believe in congratulating a child on having a child? Um, okay ....

No, because you choose not to be kind or understanding.

Not agreeing with an opinion is not being judgmental, not agreeing with a person's lot in life is. We are told by a very important book to NOT judge our people, not our people's opinions. Let's not get this confused. Remember who was the most accepting and most loving person ever written about and what we were told NOT to do.