So would this be "helicopter parenting"?

[minkydog]

this trhead remind me of a helicoptering moment of my own My oldest DS was 8yo and had just joined his church league basketball team. At this point, he was still afraid of the ball but he ran around and played his heart out. The other team beat the socks off them and when I looked over there, DS was crying from disappointment. I stood up to go comfort him and a more experienced mother put her hand on my arm to stop me. She said,"Don't do it" and just held my eyes. It was a telepathic moment, fer sher. I sat down and let the coach handle it. DS went on to win the Most Improved Player award at the end of the season(he had nowhere to go but up )

 

[Tigger&Belle]

My 13yo son has been playing select baseball for over 5 years. For the last year or so, the coach has expected the players to handle coach issues regarding playing time, positions, etc. We're friendly with the coach, but we tell our son to talk to the coach if he has issues with anything. If he tries and is still having problems, we will then ask for clarification from the coach, but only after he has tried to solve the problem on his own. We realize that in high school it's a hands off time for parents. The parents who are still micro-managing their kids get a name for themselves and the coaches do not want those kids on the team, even if they are good players.

It happened last spring on the high school baseball team. One freshman boy was passed over for the JV baseball team because his mother has such a bad reputation at the school (he has an older sister who graduated) and another boy was selected instead who is known to not be as good of a player. The only conclusion the parents came to is because the mother of the first boy is so difficult--always questioning playing time and position of her kids, etc. She is the definition of a helicopter parent and even did it to her daughter when the daughter went to college.

The only time that I will tell my son's baseball coach that he isn't feeling well at a practice is if he is there, but not 100% and may end up calling me. I want the coach to have a heads up about the situation and not be surprised and also know that I realize that he's not totally well, but that he's well enough to try and practice. I don't think my son has ever come home early, but sometimes he hasn't given his all at those practices and that way the coach knows why (they work them very hard for about 2 1/2-3 hours, 2-3 times a week, so even a cold can affect how hard they are able to perform.

 

[arminnie]

. She is the definition of a helicopter parent and even did it to her daughter when the daughter went to college.

The worst instance of a helicopter parent was the sister of a friend of mine who wouldn't leave when she took her daughter to college. She was sleeping in the dorm on the floor next to her daughter's bed until the college had to evict her.

 

[CEDmom]

That mom definitely has a propeller on the top of her head .

 

[kejoda]

The worst instance of a helicopter parent was the sister of a friend of mine who wouldn't leave when she took her daughter to college. She was sleeping in the dorm on the floor next to her daughter's bed until the college had to evict her.

now that is bad.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

The worst instance of a helicopter parent was the sister of a friend of mine who wouldn't leave when she took her daughter to college. She was sleeping in the dorm on the floor next to her daughter's bed until the college had to evict her.

Oh, no!!! I think I've heard it all!

 

[minkydog]

The worst instance of a helicopter parent was the sister of a friend of mine who wouldn't leave when she took her daughter to college. She was sleeping in the dorm on the floor next to her daughter's bed until the college had to evict her.

 

[Bob Slydell]

First off--thanks for coaching!!!! DS has been playing since age 5, and is now a U10. We only have 4 U10 boys teams each with 15 kids on a team, because we could not get any more coaches in our league.

That parent was a doofus. There are TONS of 4YOs who just are not ready to play any kind of organized sport. Most of them still have the attention spat of a gnat.

I tried to take a break this year from coaching, but they couldn't find any new volunteers, so I ended up coaching for another year. Maybe next season I'll get a break.

Fortunately the story with the parent had a "happy" ending -- my son and I offered to spend a little extra time before practice for a couple weeks with his son to get him more comfortable with some of the drills we do and he came around fairly quickly. When the next season came around, he actually even asked if his son could be put on my team again.

 

[mickeysgal]

She was sleeping in the dorm on the floor next to her daughter's bed until the college had to evict her.

Oh my!!

The poor daughter (and roommate?) !

 

[Becky2005]

One of the hardest lessons I ever had to learn as a parent was to let the coach be the coach. DD was 6 or 7, in soccer and she would get knocked down or smacked around, and my first instinct was to rush onto the field and be the mom. I MADE myself sit there and watch while the coach handled it appropriately.

Not only that but there are *so* many times I see my child not paying attention or goofing off. It takes all I can do to not go over there and tell him to knock it off but I'm not about to barge into his sports class to do so. I let the instructors handle it (and then talk to him about it AFTER class).

I know for my DD being a gymnast you don't DARE go down into the roped off area for anything during a meet (unless oh there is a major, major family emergency and you have to take you kid out of there now or something of that nature), the TEAM will get a deduction if you do. The only time I left early was after the meet & during the awards. Her group had already finished, so I very quietly snuck up & asked if we could leave. You see I just got dismissed on Saturday from the hospital after having her brother & it was Sunday. We had already been there for several hours, nothing like taking a 3 day old baby with you to a meet.

 

[AprilShowers]

I was accosted by a helicopter parent once. We were leaving DD's Basketball game and were in the van approaching a stop sign. Helicopter parent and her DD were in their van ahead of us. She stopped, got out of her van, came back to my van and I rolled down the window thinking she was going to ask for directions out of town or something........

WRONG!!!!!! She says: "Your DD was throwing elbows at my DD during the WHOLE game and now I think I'm going to have to take my DD to the emergency room!"

I just look at my DD with this kind of bewildered look on my face. You see, my DD isn't that good of a basketball player, and she doesn't see much play time. She isn't a very aggressive player, and doesn't really throw elbows.

So now, DD looks at the mom and says "sorry, I didn't mean to hurt her." and I say "well I hope she's ok, I'm sure my DD didn't mean to hurt anybody, but I didn't see her playing overly aggressive." Then this crazy mom starts almost crying telling me how her daughter was hit by a car when she was little and had a head injury and had to be life flighted and now she thinks MY DD re-injured her and she would have to be taken to the ER!!

We again offer bewildered apologies and she says "I didn't know if I should come back here and tell you all this!" She then storms off and drives away.
We just sat there.....I didn't know what to do.
After much discussion with DD trying to figure out which player it was, we think the mom had the wrong girl. I mean DD doesn't play much but what a loon! If she's that worried, maybe her DD shouldn't be playing contact sports anyway!!

 

[hentob]

Ok - I have a helicoptering moment. My teen was in a swim meet which was supposed to be held at an outdoor pool. Due the the weather, they switched it to an indoor pool. He was slotted to swim a 25 yd freestyle and the officials decided to start that particular race in the shallow end of the pool. They were going to have to dive from the side of the pool (no starting blocks on that end) into the 3 foot end of the pool. DS is over 6 ft tall and tends to dive a bit deeper than he should. His dive, at that time, wasn't as flat as it should be for a racing dive. I talked to the coach and pulled him from the race. I cared not one ounce whether the coach was mad or whether my son was mad. We've been swimming competitively for years - since the kids were very small, and this is the first and only time I've interferred. I felt he was being put in a dangerous situation. By the way, DH was there also and 100% agreed with me. To this day, I can't believe they allowed this particular race to be run like this. I'm not talking small 5 year olds that still flop onto the water, I'm talking high school kids that know how to dive competitively. Thats just too shallow for safety's sakes.

I see NOTHING wrong with what you did. Sheesh--Diving into 3 feet of water? Not too smart on the coach's part.

 

[kejoda]

I tried to take a break this year from coaching, but they couldn't find any new volunteers, so I ended up coaching for another year. Maybe next season I'll get a break.

Fortunately the story with the parent had a "happy" ending -- my son and I offered to spend a little extra time before practice for a couple weeks with his son to get him more comfortable with some of the drills we do and he came around fairly quickly. When the next season came around, he actually even asked if his son could be put on my team again.

yeah you keep thinking that Steve!!!

Good job with that kid!!