So, who is right?

[dimimi]

I agree with the day care. I used to be a director at a daycare. I will say that first of all the child doesn't seem ready to be potty trained and although the father can "catch" the child at home and sing to him to "make him sit" these are not reasonable things to request from group care.

I can see the father's frustration and the father's points, however, it isn't sanitary and when you are in a group care situation he has to be realistic. If he had a nanny it would be different.

 

[Jennasis]

DAD!





Kidding...3 pages of agreement...it was starting to make me feel uncomfortable. What happened to you DIS? I feel like I don't even know who you are anymore...



FTR..I'm on the daycare's side here.

 

[ksjayhawks]

Another for the daycare.

If dad wants that one-on-one supervision, he needs to pull child from daycare during this time and hire a nanny.

 

[bumbershoot]

if the providers paid more attention to his cues (widening his stance before he goes and standing very still) they could immediately take him to a potty and solve the wetting issues.

OK I used Elimination Communication with DS, although I started very late, and he was entirely done with dipes by the time he was 2.5....BUT dad is expecting waaaaaaaaaay too much from the daycare with the above.

Heck, it took me over a year to figure out when my kid was about to pee or poop, and DH figured it out just before DS was done with dipes. If it takes an at home parent and a VERY involved father that long to figure it out with their own kid, how on earth can we expect daycare providers, when there are other kids in the place, to pay that close attention?


It does not sound like the kidlet is ready for potty-learning.

But what sort of cloth training pants is he using? Just thick underwear? Those were useless. But if he's using something like Imse Vimse training pants, or even Bumkins, those are pretty much the same as pull-ups, except that the dad is right, the child WILL feel that he's wet, and that is GOOD when figuring out the potty.

So if he's using training pants that keep the wet in, then I think the daycare is being silly in wanting a disposable product, but overall it doesn't sound like he's ready at all.

 

[bumbershoot]

I'm surprised there aren't larger cloth diapers.

There are. He probably just hoped to not have to buy them for what will likely be a few more months of use.

OP I have a bunch of FuzziBunz that I'm looking to get rid of. If dad is in the Tacoma area, I'm happy to offload them! (though I'm not sure the elastic is working very well in them...the small ones, the older ones, have great elastic, but the newer ones had bad elastic, but that can be replaced)

In terms of pull-ups not giving feedback if the child is wet - he could get the cool alert pull ups - they turn cold so the child knows.

Well, a cloth pant is a bit better than relying on a chemical reaction like that, IMO... I do think the cloth training pants work better than the weird crystals etc in disposables...but I don't think he's using the right training pant. I think he's skipped straight to padded underpants and doesn't have anything water-resistant in between them and the boy's clothes.

 

[2girlsmom]

Thanks for the explanations from the last two posters. I wanted to be on the side of the daycare, EXCEPT if they are saying he has to be in actual Pullups and the father has issue with using disposables, in general, especially if the daycare had been handling in cloth diapers from the beginning, I couldn't see why it would be a difference.

 

[bicker]

The daycare is a service provider offering a service. The service they offer is a reflection of what the law requires and what their offering outlines - the terms and conditions. No prospective customer has any right whatsoever to unilaterally impose any changes to the offering on the service provider. If they want to suggest something, that's fine, but it is also fine for the service provider to reject it, and hold the customer, if they choose to patronize the service, to the current terms and conditions.

The daycare should be able to set forth whatever standards they expect the children they supervise to satisfy, and change the standards as they wish, unless they promise not to.

If they set their standards too high, then few people will patronize their service, and they won't be able to make money. The situation will fix itself.

 

[scottishduffy]

It does not sound like the kidlet is ready for potty-learning.

But what sort of cloth training pants is he using? Just thick underwear? Those were useless. But if he's using something like Imse Vimse training pants, or even Bumkins, those are pretty much the same as pull-ups, except that the dad is right, the child WILL feel that he's wet, and that is GOOD when figuring out the potty.

So if he's using training pants that keep the wet in, then I think the daycare is being silly in wanting a disposable product, but overall it doesn't sound like he's ready at all.

The one's he is currently using are just like thick underwear. I did not see any sort of brand label on them when I have babysat the kiddo. His old cloth diapers are BumGenius and he used those at daycare. Father B specifically sought a daycare that allowed cloth diapers. The issue is that the underwear do not keep anything in and every 'accident' results in his pants soaked all the way down his legs.

Perhaps I will tell B about the other training pants you mentioned. I know you are sort of the greenest person around here and probably know this subject well. Child A is a very big 2.5 yr old, he is tall for his age and at the top percentiles. So while he is only two years old, he is the size of a bigger kid. I think perhaps father B sometimes expects more of him just because he looks bigger, but sometimes forgets he is still a little guy.

 

[bumbershoot]

The one's he is currently using are just like thick underwear. I did not see any sort of brand label on them when I have babysat the kiddo. His old cloth diapers are BumGenius and he used those at daycare. Father B specifically sought a daycare that allowed cloth diapers. The issue is that the underwear do not keep anything in and every 'accident' results in his pants soaked all the way down his legs.

Perhaps I will tell B about the other training pants you mentioned. I know you are sort of the greenest person around here and probably know this subject well. Child A is a very big 2.5 yr old, he is tall for his age and at the top percentiles. So while he is only two years old, he is the size of a bigger kid. I think perhaps father B sometimes expects more of him just because he looks bigger, but sometimes forgets he is still a little guy.

We had some Gerber thick underpants, thinking they'd be a good idea, but NO.

I hope he knows that the daycare is already amazing, because not all daycares will deal with cloth at all (thinking that they are dirtier etc). Yay for them for that!

And the fact that they have been dealing with CDs shows that they care about his son, and that they aren't just balking at the cloth aspect. I think it means that he just has his boy in inappropriate "clothing".

DS was tall and strong (though not heavy) and it can really confuse your brain. I remember thinking he was SO big back then, and then I look at pictures now and he was itty. I can definitely understand dad wanting his boy to be trained by now since he's bigger. My son was insistent that he learn, and I knew then that he was very early compared to many boys.

And yeah, if the BumGeniuses aren't fitting (for anyone who doesn't know, they are billed as a one-size diaper, so you only buy that one set) anymore, it's going to be a financial blow to buy a brand and size that fit him! Not to mention, he now has to figure out what *kind* to get if the BGs aren't working. But it's the most appropriate thing at this point, in my opinion. We'd JUST bought some awesome side-snapping Swaddlebees and fallen fully in LOVE with them (they fit my boy so much better than the FuzziBunz did), when he decided that he was done with the dipes. Thankfully we'd only bought 3, but still...

 

[Katy Belle]

I didnt use pull ups for my kids during training. I did basically what this Dad is wanting done. But I did it in my home and we just didnt go anywhere for a few weeks. We did have a few false starts, and usually by day 3 of peeing through every pair of training pants in the house, i would stop and start again in a few weeks.

Would i expect a day care to handle this? No way. It really needs to be one on one for a few days. I think hes asking too much for sure. If hecould make it so the child isnt leaking all over the place, perhaps they could handle it.

The naked pantless method worked well for one of myboys, but i wouldnt expect a daycare to handle that either

 

[sunnyday123]

The one's he is currently using are just like thick underwear. I did not see any sort of brand label on them when I have babysat the kiddo. His old cloth diapers are BumGenius and he used those at daycare. Father B specifically sought a daycare that allowed cloth diapers. The issue is that the underwear do not keep anything in and every 'accident' results in his pants soaked all the way down his legs.

Perhaps I will tell B about the other training pants you mentioned. I know you are sort of the greenest person around here and probably know this subject well. Child A is a very big 2.5 yr old, he is tall for his age and at the top percentiles. So while he is only two years old, he is the size of a bigger kid. I think perhaps father B sometimes expects more of him just because he looks bigger, but sometimes forgets he is still a little guy.

I agree with the daycare. Also, if every accident results in pants being soaked all the way down his legs, I am sure the leak is going elsewhere too. What if he's sitting on a chair or the floor? That to me is pretty unsanitary and I can understand the daycare wanting something that holds better.

 

[NMAmy]

So, the dad was home with the kid for three weeks and wasn't able to potty train him in a one on one situation with what appears to be constant supervision? If he wasn't able to do it in that time period, then the kid just isn't ready. There's nothing wrong with that at all. I'm totally on the day care's side. He's expecting way too much.

 

[pixiewings71]

Child isn't ready to potty train, Father needs to back off and put the child in Pull Ups.

 

[LuLuO]

I vote with the daycare. It doesn't sound like the child is ready.

Yep.

 

[dimimi]

You might want to tell the father that if he couldn't potty train...one on one...in 3 weeks, the child isn't ready.

The father/mother should be able to begin potty training over a long weekend and have the child pretty well set for the next day of day care....if not...the child isn't ready.

Just my opinion...

 

[LuvOrlando]

Daycare is right, Father totally does not get what daycare is about. They are there to keep a child safe & entertained & help with social skills, daycare is not there to help raise a child.

 

[AristocatFan]

Agree with daycare. Child is not ready. Training would not take that long if the child was ready.

 

[cm8]

Agree with daycare. Child is not ready. Training would not take that long if the child was ready.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

The daycare is absolutely right. Potty training needs to be done at home, although it can be supported at daycare or school.

In my special ed preschool class, we don't consider a child "potty-trained" until the following happens on a consistent basis:

1) The child recognizes the need to use the bathroom.
2) The child communicates that need to an adult.
3) The child refrains from going until he/she reaches the toilet.

These skills need to be taught and practiced at home. We will certainly take a training child to the restroom instead of simply changing diapers, but they have to remain in Pull-ups until these skills are mastered. It's not sanitary for kids to be peeing their pants in the classroom. Plus, ours is an academic-based class, not simply a daycare. We can't be changing wet clothes and running kids to the bathroom every single hour. The kids would never get to work on their academic and speech/language goals.