So, who is right?

[SaraJayne]

The daycare. The little boy is NOT ready to be toilet trained.

 

[punkin]

I am sure that if the father was home with the boy, he could train him now. However, the daycare is not set up to do what the father wants.

 

[MattsPrincess]

Daycare, for sure. He pays them to WATCH the kid, not to potty train him...that seems to be what the dad wants them to do. Maybe not, but the comment on how he was angry the daycare didn't want to continue potty training at this time makes it seem like he feels they are supposed to help train him...and that's not right. That's not their job.

Plus, it IS unsanitary. Not only for the other children but for the employees as well. I mean, yes accidents are going to happen in that setting and everyone knows it and how to handle it. Unless they have one employee per child, they don't have time to constantly watch one kid to see if he stands differently or not.

 

[desertgirl]

Without having to even give this a second thought, I sided with the daycare.

No way should the providers have to be on high alert for cues of a boy who is simply not ready yet.

It sounds like the father is expecting the daycare to pottytrain his son. That is not their job.

 

[Jestocost]

I'm surprised that the daycare doesn't have specific rules and policies around potty training and when a child can go without a diaper or pull up. If they do, simply citing the policy and ensuring the father is aware should suffice to close the conversation. If they don't, then they are pretty foolish and just setting themselves up for situations like this to occur.

 

[luvmy3]

I side with the daycare as well. I can understand the way the father feels however I think he is being unreasonable to expect that kind of training 1)when the child isn't ready and 2)in a daycare situation.
If he feels that strongly about it, he should stop paying the daycare all that good money and get himself a nanny.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I vote with the daycare. It doesn't sound like the child is ready.

I agree. It doesn't take weeks and months to potty train. If it does then the kid isn't ready.

 

[DVCBELLE]

Definitely the Daycare! He should get a nanny if he feels someone should be watching his child close enough to catch non-verbal cues!!

In terms of pull-ups not giving feedback if the child is wet - he could get the cool alert pull ups - they turn cold so the child knows. It sounds like the kids doesn't care when he is wet since he doesn't tell them. And I definitely agree that it is a sanitary issue - he pees and it is on the floor - the daycare doesn't notice and he doesn't tell them immediately - he walks aways and within seconds another child sits where he just peed. All I have to say to that is EEEEWWWWWWWW!!

 

[indimom]

Easy. Day Care.

I'm not saying the father couldn't train his child quickly with his methods. He probably could. (Lets face it, mothers 50 years ago, "trained" their children early using these types of methods because it made life easier when there were no disposable diapers and pullups.)

BUT, BIG BUT...

You can't expect a day care to sit on top of one child all day in order to catch their cues. There are generally 8 or more children in a 2s room and the dad is dreaming if he thinks the day care can provide this type of care. (It's not about laziness or adherence to a schedule, it's just not possible.) On top of that, it is unsanitary in a day care situation to have a child having repeated accidents in the classroom.

If he really WANTS to do this, he needs a nanny at home who can devote their FULL time and attention to this one child.

Very simple solution.

 

[pilotwife_02]

I agree with everyone else, I side with the daycare. It took us 3 different times to get DS2 trained, he just wasn't ready the first two times we tried.

We would try for a week and realize he just wasn't ready for it. The third time we tried we actually took his cue when he told us he wanted to wear "big boy" underwear and he was trained instantly. Seriously, once he told us he was ready he didn't have an accident (of course he's had a few minor ones every couple of weeks, most kids do, but it wasn't 6-8 a day).

 

[JessicaR]

Daycare.

If Dad doesnt like it he can pull him out and find a place/person that does it his way. Trying to train a kid that isnt ready is a mistake.

 

[ZephyrHawk]

I'm with the daycare.

I have a friend who is a nanny. She is all about elimination communication. She is happy to watch her chargeas closely as its parents would, and is probably better at picking out the kids "signals" than their parents would be. If the father in this story wants that kind of attention paid to his kid, he needs to cough up the kind of money a nanny makes, not put the kid in daycare.

 

[KiKi Mouse]

I'm with the daycare.

If I were the parent of another child in the daycare I would be upset if my child was in a setting that was not sanitary.

Dad needs to back off or hire a nanny for the home.

 

[ccgirl]

I side with daycare as well. Pull ups certainly will give a feeling of wetness upon urination. If the dad wants one on one care (the daycare providers noticing his "cues" etc.) he needs to pay for in home daycare, not group daycare. His son is one of many. He may be special to him but is not special to them. They need to treat each child equally.

My son is 3 and is nowhere ready to potty train. My DD was potty trained by 2. I followed her cues. Each child is different.

 

[tlbwriter]

So why is dad so insistent on "training" the kid now, anyway (though, as others said, the kid isn't being trained at all - DAD is being trained)? Is it because he feels he should be potty trained at this arbitrary age, or is it because he has outgrown his diapers and dad doesn't want to buy new ones?

 

[Northern Disney Girl]

Daycare!

When my oldest was 2.5 and our second DD was born I inquired with our Family doctor about Potty Training D#1. He told me not to woory about ti! He said she would pretty much do it herself when SHE was ready!

I didn't give it a second thought! Sure, we had 2 kids in diapers for about 6 months but when she was about a month past her 3 rd birthday, DD#1 said to me - "Mama, no more pull up, all done!" She went to the toilet, sat down on her mini potty seat, did her business and that was that!!! Never looked back! Never had a wet night or an accident!

Did the same with DD#2 and never had an issue!

3 yrs of age seems to be the *magic* age when everything clicks and they just figure it out on their own!

 

[Agri]

Daycare.

Dad needs to go shopping and he'll find out that they do make pull-ups that will let the child have some 'feedback' other than fading designs.

It's ridiculous for anyone to say that because they pay good money their child can pee all over the place. I'm sure the other parents feel that they pay good money so their children shouldn't have to be in a place where there is a kid peeing all over the place.


Daddy also needs to realize that even when the child is ready, there will be differences between how the daycare handles it and how he handles it, anyway.

 

[momof1princess]

count me as another who sides with the daycare-the child isn't ready. my daughter was just short of 3 when she potty trained. we woke up on 4th of july, i told her it was time to use the potty, and she's been doing it ever since, without a single accident. it beats anything i've ever seen before (and i have a very large, extended family), but it's the truth.

 

[Mrs. Darcy]

I also side with the daycare. Maybe the dad can find a daycare that also helps with potty training?

I did a semester in England for my teaching degree and worked in the 3-4 daycare room. They had a system where there was peer-to-peer buddy system training where every hour a chime would ring and the buddies would ask each other "do you have to use the loo"? And they always said yes! lol even if it was just a drop that came out. At first it seemed like organized chaos with 16 3 year olds going to the bathroom at the same time, but over the course of the term, every 3 year old was trained not to wet or dirty themselves. In the second term, there was no buddy system, no chimes, just scheduled bathroom visits with the rare "accident".

 

[brockash]

I vote with the daycare. It doesn't sound like the child is ready.

I agree, doesn't sound like the child is ready. 3 weeks at home probably would've been enough time for the child to basically be potty trained, had the child been ready.