So, who is right?

[scottishduffy]

Got into an interesting conversation the other day with a couple friends and it was interesting to hear what each one thought. Father B is the primary caregiver to Child A, whom he is currently trying to potty train. He returned to daycare after a 3 week christmas break (with new cloth training pants) and after two days the daycare questioned why A was in cloth training pants, and wanted him put into pull-ups for the time being. The arguments of the two places are as such...

Daycare says:
-- A does not state when he needs to go potty
-- When potty times are held at regular intervals through the day, he appears afraid of the potty and will not sit. The daycare refuses to force a child onto the potty.
---A does not appear to care about being dirty as he will not verbalize when he has gone pee or when he is dirty.
--- A wets the floor when he goes potty and they feel this is unsanitary.
-- A does not stay dry during nap times or for longer periods of times. He needs 6-8 changes during his day at daycare.


Father B states:
-- Of course A wets his pants, he is 2.5 yrs old.... won't be 3 until june. He packs 6 pairs of pants and training pants for A daily. He goes through ALL of them.
--- He pays the daycare good money. So if he wants to pack that many pants the daycare people should deal with it. He does daily laundry to keep up.
-- Pull ups give no feedback on feeling wet and would hinder his potty training. Also, he feels the daycare providers merely want him into disposable pants so they can ignore when he pees and change him on a schedule like the other children. A would be ignored and left wet... in cloth he gets changed immeediately because it is obvious he went.
--- Father B is very environmentally conscious and refuses any disposable training pants and A is pretty much outgrown his cloth diapers.
--- While A does not verbalize needing to pee or being wet/dirty, if the providers paid more attention to his cues (widening his stance before he goes and standing very still) they could immediately take him to a potty and solve the wetting issues.
--- A needs times and consistency, not to give up on the training. He will get it eventually even if he seems resistant now. Other children his same age are being trained just fine.


At home A also will not state when he needs to pee or when he is dirty. But Father B is good at catching his cue and as soon as he sees him about to go will pick him up and run him to the potty. Child A will be taken to the potty at certain times of the day and made to sit at home, which he usually protests but father B will ready him books or sing to calm him. Child A will not go to potty on his own, but with father B playing close attention at home has had some successful hits (pee, not poo) on the potty... though he still goes through several pairs of pants per day.

It was an interesting discussion, which included father B, about what is reasonable to expect from daycare providers who have a room with a dozen or more 2-3 yr olds. Father B is extremely angered over the daycare not wishing to continue potty training at this time. The daycare is threatening to remove A if he continues to have multiple wetting accidents a day as they feel it is unsanitary for other children.

So whose side are you on? The daycare.. or Father B?

 

[disykat]

I vote with the daycare. It doesn't sound like the child is ready.

 

[proud_canadian]

The child doesn't sound ready to me.

I will advise the father to wait a month or two and try again. When the child is ready, the whole process should only take a few days.

 

[Mermaid02]

Got into an interesting conversation the other day with a couple friends and it was interesting to hear what each one thought. Father B is the primary caregiver to Child A, whom he is currently trying to potty train. He returned to daycare after a 3 week christmas break (with new cloth training pants) and after two days the daycare questioned why A was in cloth training pants, and wanted him put into pull-ups for the time being. The arguments of the two places are as such...

Daycare says:
-- A does not state when he needs to go potty
-- When potty times are held at regular intervals through the day, he appears afraid of the potty and will not sit. The daycare refuses to force a child onto the potty.
---A does not appear to care about being dirty as he will not verbalize when he has gone pee or when he is dirty.
--- A wets the floor when he goes potty and they feel this is unsanitary.
-- A does not stay dry during nap times or for longer periods of times. He needs 6-8 changes during his day at daycare.


Father B states:
-- Of course A wets his pants, he is 2.5 yrs old.... won't be 3 until june. He packs 6 pairs of pants and training pants for A daily. He goes through ALL of them.
--- He pays the daycare good money. So if he wants to pack that many pants the daycare people should deal with it. He does daily laundry to keep up.
-- Pull ups give no feedback on feeling wet and would hinder his potty training. Also, he feels the daycare providers merely want him into disposable pants so they can ignore when he pees and change him on a schedule like the other children. A would be ignored and left wet... in cloth he gets changed immeediately because it is obvious he went.
--- Father B is very environmentally conscious and refuses any disposable training pants and A is pretty much outgrown his cloth diapers.
--- While A does not verbalize needing to pee or being wet/dirty, if the providers paid more attention to his cues (widening his stance before he goes and standing very still) they could immediately take him to a potty and solve the wetting issues.
--- A needs times and consistency, not to give up on the training. He will get it eventually even if he seems resistant now. Other children his same age are being trained just fine.


At home A also will not state when he needs to pee or when he is dirty. But Father B is good at catching his cue and as soon as he sees him about to go will pick him up and run him to the potty. Child A will be taken to the potty at certain times of the day and made to sit at home, which he usually protests but father B will ready him books or sing to calm him. Child A will not go to potty on his own, but with father B playing close attention at home has had some successful hits (pee, not poo) on the potty... though he still goes through several pairs of pants per day.

It was an interesting discussion, which included father B, about what is reasonable to expect from daycare providers who have a room with a dozen or more 2-3 yr olds. Father B is extremely angered over the daycare not wishing to continue potty training at this time. The daycare is threatening to remove A if he continues to have multiple wetting accidents a day as they feel it is unsanitary for other children.

So whose side are you on? The daycare.. or Father B?

Daycare.

It sounds to me like the little boy isn't really ready to train. If he was home with Dad all day- maybe he would be BUT you cant' expect a large daycare to give that one on one attention AND they have other kids to think about- pee all over the place is NOT okay.

 

[Disney Doll]

The child is not ready to potty train. Father B is basically being trained to notice the child's cues and respond to them. The child is not the only child the daycare people have to look after. They cannot be expected to be monitoring him every second of every day watching for his "cues".

 

[Creativebeth]

The child is not ready to potty train. He is making that apparent with reluctance.....if cloth pants need to be used, use a plastic pant overtop to not soil the surroundings. I don't think the daycare should force him on the potty.....that will lead to bigger problems down the road. Wait until he's three to potty train.

 

[pearlieq]

I side with the daycare. The kid doesn't sound ready for potty training, and what the father wants is both counter-productive (a kid isn't potty trained if you whisk him over the toilet to "catch" whatever he's doing) and not appropriate given the kind of facility you describe.

I once ran a room of 10 2-year old by myself--that's the state approved ratio. No caregiver in that situation has the time to do what the father is requesting. If he wants that kind of care he either needs to hire someone privately or move the child to a facility with a much lower ratio, which will cost more.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Got into an interesting conversation the other day with a couple friends and it was interesting to hear what each one thought. Father B is the primary caregiver to Child A, whom he is currently trying to potty train. He returned to daycare after a 3 week christmas break (with new cloth training pants) and after two days the daycare questioned why A was in cloth training pants, and wanted him put into pull-ups for the time being. The arguments of the two places are as such...

Daycare says:
-- A does not state when he needs to go potty
-- When potty times are held at regular intervals through the day, he appears afraid of the potty and will not sit. The daycare refuses to force a child onto the potty.
---A does not appear to care about being dirty as he will not verbalize when he has gone pee or when he is dirty.
--- A wets the floor when he goes potty and they feel this is unsanitary.
-- A does not stay dry during nap times or for longer periods of times. He needs 6-8 changes during his day at daycare.


Father B states:
-- Of course A wets his pants, he is 2.5 yrs old.... won't be 3 until june. He packs 6 pairs of pants and training pants for A daily. He goes through ALL of them.
--- He pays the daycare good money. So if he wants to pack that many pants the daycare people should deal with it. He does daily laundry to keep up.
-- Pull ups give no feedback on feeling wet and would hinder his potty training. Also, he feels the daycare providers merely want him into disposable pants so they can ignore when he pees and change him on a schedule like the other children. A would be ignored and left wet... in cloth he gets changed immeediately because it is obvious he went.
--- Father B is very environmentally conscious and refuses any disposable training pants and A is pretty much outgrown his cloth diapers.
--- While A does not verbalize needing to pee or being wet/dirty, if the providers paid more attention to his cues (widening his stance before he goes and standing very still) they could immediately take him to a potty and solve the wetting issues.
--- A needs times and consistency, not to give up on the training. He will get it eventually even if he seems resistant now. Other children his same age are being trained just fine.


At home A also will not state when he needs to pee or when he is dirty. But Father B is good at catching his cue and as soon as he sees him about to go will pick him up and run him to the potty. Child A will be taken to the potty at certain times of the day and made to sit at home, which he usually protests but father B will ready him books or sing to calm him. Child A will not go to potty on his own, but with father B playing close attention at home has had some successful hits (pee, not poo) on the potty... though he still goes through several pairs of pants per day.

It was an interesting discussion, which included father B, about what is reasonable to expect from daycare providers who have a room with a dozen or more 2-3 yr olds. Father B is extremely angered over the daycare not wishing to continue potty training at this time. The daycare is threatening to remove A if he continues to have multiple wetting accidents a day as they feel it is unsanitary for other children.

So whose side are you on? The daycare.. or Father B?

The daycare.

Father B is a nutter to force child into potty training when he is not ready.

Child has to be able to verbalize that he needs to go potty since he is in a daycare setting. Now if he was at home all day then he is free to pee & poo up his own house.

 

[TheIncredibles!]

I side with the daycare. Potty training is a two way street. There needs to be a child that is 100% rerady to be trained along with an adult that wants to train the child. Neither of those are present.

 

[Mrs. Charming]

Yup. I agree with all of you, he's just not ready. He doesn't seem to be showing *any* signs of readiness.

 

[disneystacy]

The daycare.

Father B is a nutter to force child into potty training when he is not ready.

Child has to be able to verbalize that he needs to go potty since he is in a daycare setting. Now if he was at home all day then he is free to pee & poo up his own house.

This

 

[suzannen]

Definitely side with the daycare. That child is obviously not ready and the daycare teachers can't and shouldn't spend all of their time potty training a child when they have other children to look after. If the father really wants to force this issue, then he needs to pay for a full-time sitter for his son in his own home. Then it would be considered part of the job.

 

[SC Minnie]

The daycare.

If the father wants someone to constantly watch the boy for cues that he needs to potty then he doesn't belong in a daycare. He needs to pay for a private nanny.

 

[padams]

Daycare. The Dad is trained, not the child. Child is obviously not ready. If Dad wants him potty trained now, he needs to hire a nanny. Daycare teachers can't provide 1 on 1 supervision all day, every day until the child is trained.

 

[scottishduffy]

Yeah, most all of us sided with the daycare as well. Child A does not seem ready or willing right now. But his dad seems to take great offense to the idea.

We tried explaining it doesn't mean anything is wrong with A. It does not mean A is 'dumb' or 'behind'. He is just a little boy who needs a few more months to grow up. Besides, boys tend to go a little bit later. Child A will most likely be forced into pull-ups and we suggested maybe layering underwear under the pull-ups if B wants A to feel wet.

I was just kind of amazed that father B as well as 1-2 other people present felt the daycare should bend on the issue whereas as most everyone else felt A should be left alone on this whole potty training thing for a few months.

This was at a group dinner with friends a week or so back and this conversation ended up being the most interesting.

 

[jrmasm]

Count me as another that sides with the daycare. The kid isn't ready and father b is just creating more work and mess for them to deal with.

Buy new diapers in a bigger size.

 

[Tinkmom75]

I side with the daycare or Dad should take a week off and focus on the child at home. It doesn't sound like the child is ready to be potty trained. I'm surprised there aren't larger cloth diapers.

 

[agnes!]

Daycare.

Btw, when was this dad potty-trained? Someone should ask his mom or an older family-member who might remember...daddy-dear might be surprised at the details.

agnes!

 

[Klismania]

Got into an interesting conversation the other day with a couple friends and it was interesting to hear what each one thought. Father B is the primary caregiver to Child A, whom he is currently trying to potty train. He returned to daycare after a 3 week christmas break (with new cloth training pants) and after two days the daycare questioned why A was in cloth training pants, and wanted him put into pull-ups for the time being. The arguments of the two places are as such...

Daycare says:
-- A does not state when he needs to go potty
-- When potty times are held at regular intervals through the day, he appears afraid of the potty and will not sit. The daycare refuses to force a child onto the potty.
---A does not appear to care about being dirty as he will not verbalize when he has gone pee or when he is dirty.
--- A wets the floor when he goes potty and they feel this is unsanitary.
-- A does not stay dry during nap times or for longer periods of times. He needs 6-8 changes during his day at daycare.


Father B states:
-- Of course A wets his pants, he is 2.5 yrs old.... won't be 3 until june. He packs 6 pairs of pants and training pants for A daily. He goes through ALL of them.
--- He pays the daycare good money. So if he wants to pack that many pants the daycare people should deal with it. He does daily laundry to keep up.
-- Pull ups give no feedback on feeling wet and would hinder his potty training. Also, he feels the daycare providers merely want him into disposable pants so they can ignore when he pees and change him on a schedule like the other children. A would be ignored and left wet... in cloth he gets changed immeediately because it is obvious he went.
--- Father B is very environmentally conscious and refuses any disposable training pants and A is pretty much outgrown his cloth diapers.
--- While A does not verbalize needing to pee or being wet/dirty, if the providers paid more attention to his cues (widening his stance before he goes and standing very still) they could immediately take him to a potty and solve the wetting issues.
--- A needs times and consistency, not to give up on the training. He will get it eventually even if he seems resistant now. Other children his same age are being trained just fine.


At home A also will not state when he needs to pee or when he is dirty. But Father B is good at catching his cue and as soon as he sees him about to go will pick him up and run him to the potty. Child A will be taken to the potty at certain times of the day and made to sit at home, which he usually protests but father B will ready him books or sing to calm him. Child A will not go to potty on his own, but with father B playing close attention at home has had some successful hits (pee, not poo) on the potty... though he still goes through several pairs of pants per day.

It was an interesting discussion, which included father B, about what is reasonable to expect from daycare providers who have a room with a dozen or more 2-3 yr olds. Father B is extremely angered over the daycare not wishing to continue potty training at this time. The daycare is threatening to remove A if he continues to have multiple wetting accidents a day as they feel it is unsanitary for other children.

So whose side are you on? The daycare.. or Father B?

Didn't read the other posts so I won't be swayed. I'm on the side of the Daycare. Solidly.

If Father B wants someone to watch his child so closely that they'll catch cues as to when the child is about to pee, then Father B should hire a nanny instead of saving money by putting his child in with several other children.

 

[KiminChicago]

I vote with the daycare. If the child cannot yet tell the daycare workers when he needs to use the potty, it is ridiculous to expect them to be watching this child all the time to catch his apparently very subtle signals. If I were the parent of another child at that same daycare, I wouldn't want someone else's child peeing all over -- it is unsanitary!