So unhappy - really need some support

[Sanibel Spirit]

Hi

DH and I have to make a really tough decision today and we are feeling incredibly raw about it. I know you don't know me, but I need to get it out and start to face up to it.

We are in rented accomodation and have basically been having problems withone set of neighbours since moving in. It started trivially with them being anti dogs (they're cat people), and they keep complaining about ours barking. The other neighbour never hears them bark and our sitter doesn't either.

We heard yesterday that they had complained to the landlord and if we can't shut them up (they're not doing anything!) then we will have to go.

We've reached the very hard decision to rehome them with a friend of DH, as the stress of everything is just getting too much after 6 months of negativity from the neighbours. They have been with us since puppies and since we can't have kids, they are my babies. However seeing as we both work full time (we do have a walker in though) we have decided it may be kinder to them to let them live somewhere else. We are totally gutted though.

They will have to be dropped off in a couple of days time and I don;t know how to get through this. To some of you it probably sounds trivial, and maybe it is.

We have tried every alternative and basically this is the only one left. Why do I feel so bad then - I know theya re going to a wonderful home wherw they will be looked after. But I'm their mum, not her

Sorry.

 

[natalielongstaff]

im sorry you are going through this, i think you have made the right decision...even if your neighbours do seem a bit spiteful !

we are all here if you need to talk x x

 

[Goofysmate]

Moan all you like at us lot here that ok
I feel so sorry for you having to rehome your dogs and understand that you must be gutted.
Nothing worse that horrible neighbours

Sending you a big hug

 

[T16GEM]

Aww so sorry to hear this, but you are doing the best for them and they will be fine, will the new people let you visit them?
Animals become like family don't they. {{{{hugs}}}} to you

 

[tarcc]

I definately don't think your problem is trivial & i really feel for you, pets become a part of the family. It sounds like you've made the right decision though & you say they're going to a wonderful home so i hope they settle in well & i hope you'll get to see them and spend some time with them too.

 

[UKDEB]

Whilst I totally understand how terrible this must be for you, I can also sympathise with your neighbours. Our ex-next door neighbours (who were and are still friends) had a dog who barked all day long whilst they were out. As soon as they came home, she stopped. We tried to mention it a few times, but they were insistent that she didn't bark. Because she wasn't a barky dog when they were around, they simply refused to believe that she barked. We live in a detached house, but it was so bad at times that when I was working at home during the day I had to have music on to drown her out. They moved several years ago and we never hear the new neighbours' dog.

Fast forward 5 or 6 years and our neighbours over the road have recently got two dogs. We never hear a peep out of them as long as someone's at home, but when they're out at work, it's non-stop yap, yap, yap! It drives me to distraction - I want to scream.

I just had to post this in response to your comment that "they're not doing anything". I know it doesn't make the situation any easier to bear, but I wouldn't be too quick to label your neighbours as trouble-makers. We have cats, but we're not anti-dogs. We are anti being tormented by constant barking, though. Of course, it's not the dogs' fault, so I think you've made a brave decision. I hope they'll be very happy in their new home (where hopefully their new owner won't be forced to leave them alone).

Can pet psychologists train dogs not to bark? Just a thought.

 

[jjk]

sorry to hear that sending you a

 

[natalielongstaff]

Can pet psychologists train dogs not to bark? Just a thought.

we have managed to do that with Jarvis, because john works nights and we live close to other people when he barked as a pup we told him no.....now he only barks if the kids wind him up

 

[fizz13]

Just to say it doesn't matter if we know u personally or not, these boards are the best for support and community spirit and u are welcome to vent here any time, I am not a pet owner myself but i can sympathise how hard this must be for you and it sounds like you are being very brave and doing the right thing for all. that doesn't make it any easier though and I'm sending lots of hugs and hope that it goes smoothly and that u find comfort in each other to get through

 

[Deedee]

I feel so sorry for you i know what its like to have horrible neighbours. I wish my neighbours would rehome their kids!!!!!! Sorry if this sounds terrible but they are 2 spoilt bratts (like their mother) who haven't been taught any disipline. I have heard they may be moving though so fingers crossed.
I am a cat lover and i know if i had to give them up it would destroy me.
Just a suggestion couldn't you set up a video camera or tape recording of some sort while you were out to see if these people are lying about the barking. Hope every thing works out for you

 

[darthtatty]

its a shame that youve decided to rehome them seeing as they are a part of your family.
you just say youve heard..has anything been confirmed? what does the landlord say etc etc if noones complained before is it just the new neighbours?

have you talked to neighbours? perhaps with a neutral third party?
introduce them dogs to them etc.
im sure there must be somewhere you can get advice regarding the barking.
as suggested already, see if you can record the dogs when noones home.

if you do rehome the dogs, glad youve found someone suitable for them.

sending you loads of hugs.xxxx

 

[jen_uk]

What a horrible situation

I have to say tho I don't think you should get rid of them, what if you do and then the nasty neighbours just start complaining about something else?

Like someone else said I would check to see if they are barking (video cam is a great idea), if they are not then show the proof to your landlord and maybe also ask other neighbours to confirm this. If they are barking then maybe behaviour training would help sort out the problem.

Hope you get it sorted

 

[irongirlof12]

I really feel for you and no it is not trivial at all. I love the dogs I have had over the years, they are a part of your family unit, and of course you are going to miss them.I would be so distraught.

It might be for the best if you leave them for a long time during the day. Dogs do need company and some breeds pine for you more than others. i.e. a herding breed will be happy left alone at it was there job to be in charge but a poodle is highly dependant and wants you 24/7.

my friends down the road have dogs that bark when the post is delivered and sometimes 2 dogs can continue the barking for some time. for some folks 10 mins of barking can seems forever, so perhaps your neighbours have lost a bit of perspective, especially if they don't like dogs. Their neighbours complained but I found it acceptable as they let me know someone was about! My dog hardly ever barks, we had to teach her to woof.

can you find somewhere else to rent? My heart goes out to you.

 

[wideeyes]

sorry to hear this, such a shame if you have to get rid of them as they obviously mean so much to you.

 

[mandymouse]

What a horrible situation

I have to say tho I don't think you should get rid of them, what if you do and then the nasty neighbours just start complaining about something else?

That was the first thing I thought too Jen

I'm so sorry that you're going through this, you know where we are if you need to vent

 

[tony64]

Hi

The short answer is the dogs can be retrained not to bark when you are out but you will need to get a trainer in to do it while you are out.

It may be worth having a chat with the nieghbour about a training plan and they could give you some breathing space while this is done.


Hope you can get it sorted.

Regards

Tony

 

[Pinky166]

I can't imagine what pain you and your DH are going through....I too do not have any children and my dog is my baby....Me & my DH would be lost without him.

If I was in your situation then I would sooner move house than part with my dog...to some this may seem a bit OTT but I couldn't get rid of him.

I totally agree with what has been siaid above and I would set up a video camera to find out if they are barking a lot...if they are then they can be trained, look on the internet for some one near your area.

I hope you get it sorted without having to get rid of them.

 

[thelittlemermaid83]

 

[Netty]

I really hope you get this sorted. try to get your neighbour on your side and go to the local vets/pet shop for advice. you shouldnt have to give them up.
your friend can have them living with her, you can still be the owner and feed and take for walks- look at it as they are only sleeping there and their there when your at work

 

[Chilly]

sending you lots of