So my son got suspended

[disneyfans95]

One day, in school suspension next Wed.

Punched a kid in the mouth today..

Long story, but he was 100% right. This kid, "M" is a total $%^&. We tried meeting with the parents, worked with the school, moved seating assignments etc.

Kid would call our house 8x a day literally and just bug my son. He would write on his shirt, scream in his face, etc. Basically be a bully to my son.. Kid had a run in with another of son's friends last semester that ended up in a fight.

So my son has been talking about this for the last week. I told him you can't be walked all over and you have to stand up for yourself.

So the kid was behind my son today and took a marker and wrote all over the back of his new shirt. My son turned around and slugged him once in the mouth. Dropped the kid and gave him a bloody lip.

Vice Principle calls my wife to give the news (at first he declines to name the kids) but my wife knows who, pulls up all the times we worked with the school etc. So my kid get a one day suspension but tell you what, good freaking for him.

Course my wife is more "oh no a suspension thing" and I am lets meet the parents in the parking lot and kick their butts next!

(kids in question are 7th graders)

 

[pigletgirl]

Punching was still wrong. Hope this gets worked out.

eta: its always the kid who retaliates who gets in trouble!!

 

[kimber79]

So did the other boy get a suspension as well? I would think/hope so as it is very apparent he did wrong by writing on the shirt....not like your son can write on his own back!

 

[EMom]

The bully had it coming. Maybe he'll think twice about pushing your kid around. If they school had taken care of the bullying before now, your kid wouldn't have had to do so.

 

[LuvLDM]

The bully had it coming. Maybe he'll think twice about pushing your kid around. If they school had taken care of the bullying before now, your kid wouldn't have had to do so.

I have to agree. While I don't typically advocate violence, I think in the Op's scenario enough was enough.

 

[ols386]

I would hope the other kid got suspension too.

It sounds like you condone what your son did and fully support it. If you do, he knows it, and will think that this is ok and it's the way to handle things going forward.

I can certainly understand why your son would be extremely frustrated, but physical violence is wrong.

 

[disneyfans95]

The vice principle would not say if the other kid got any punishment. I sure we will find out though.

This kid would call our house 8x a day and harrass our son asking for answers for homework and such. I would call the house but NEVER could get a parent. The school did not try to even get a message to them either when I explained the issues with the kid.

They did move the seating assignment for lunch this semester after we complained but that was it.

Regarding it getting physical, I don't have an issue with it. Makes me a bad Dad I guess but I can live with that. This has gone on for months and I won't have my son be walked all over when the school was not helping.

 

[ChrizJen]

I'm actually not in favor of violence if and when it can be avoided. However, I'm totally on your side, OP. I think that you and your son went through the proper channels to try and resolve it peacefully, and were not successful. There comes a time when you've done all you can do, and it's just not good enough. When the school failed to step and and do something about the bullying, your son had no choice but to take it into his own hands. Good for him!

 

[tlbwriter]

If you haven't already done so, look in your school's handbook and see if they have a policy on bullying. If they do, wave it in the principal's face and demand that it be followed.

 

[Kim&Chris]

Good for him. The other kid deserved it.

It's just too bad that your son got a one-day suspension out of the deal. But, on the bright side, maybe it'll "cost" your son this day, just to get rid of this moron for a long while.

 

[hereyago]

This has gone on for months and I won't have my son be walked all over when the school was not helping.

And this. If school isn't going to protect our kids, we need to tell our kids to stick up for themselves. Kudos to you for supporting your kid. I bet the little marker, phone call harassing,etc won't do it again to your DS.

 

[kelleigh1]

I'm just curious, but for all those saying "violence isn't the answer" and that he shouldn't have hit him in response, how exactly do you suggest handling the bully? Everyone is saying what not to do, but nobody says what should be done.

It sounds to me as though the kid and the parents have repeatedly tried to do the right thing and get it resolved, but this bully just doesn't stop. Bullies push and push and push and "talking" doesn't do anything. There need to be consequences for their actions and everyone has their breaking point. Maybe this poster's son reached his and maybe no the bully will realize that he can't keep bullying this kid.

 

[msmayor]

The vice principle would not say if the other kid got any punishment. I sure we will find out though.

This kid would call our house 8x a day and harrass our son asking for answers for homework and such. I would call the house but NEVER could get a parent. The school did not try to even get a message to them either when I explained the issues with the kid.

They did move the seating assignment for lunch this semester after we complained but that was it.

Regarding it getting physical, I don't have an issue with it. Makes me a bad Dad I guess but I can live with that. This has gone on for months and I won't have my son be walked all over when the school was not helping.

I'm curious - how was the school "not helping"? If this has been going on for months, what did you (as parents) do initially to notify the school?

Personally, had something like this been happening for even a week I'd have been physically at the school to request a meeting. If nothing was being done, I'd have escalated it to the school administration/school board level. This would teach your son the lesson that you follow the chain of command and attempt to resolve the situation without violence.

I'm sorry that your son got bullied...no one should be subject to that. I do think suspension was warranted though, as physical violence is simply not the appropriate response

 

[wvjules]

I'm not one for violence but I think there comes a point when it seems like the only solution. Ive always told DD to stand up for herself.

 

[ols386]

The vice principle would not say if the other kid got any punishment. I sure we will find out though.

This kid would call our house 8x a day and harrass our son asking for answers for homework and such. I would call the house but NEVER could get a parent. The school did not try to even get a message to them either when I explained the issues with the kid.

They did move the seating assignment for lunch this semester after we complained but that was it.

Regarding it getting physical, I don't have an issue with it. Makes me a bad Dad I guess but I can live with that. This has gone on for months and I won't have my son be walked all over when the school was not helping.

Nah, I definitely wouldn't say it makes you a bad Dad. Like I said, I'm sure it's a situation that's been very frustrating for both son and parents.

 

[shirleyb]

OP, in the scenario you described, I see nothing wrong with what your son did, and maybe now the bullying will end.

 

[pilesoflaundry]

Punching was still wrong. Hope this gets worked out.

eta: its always the kid who retaliates who gets in trouble!!

Sadly that is how it goes at our school. Or both kids get the exact same punishment so it doesn't mean anything to the bully.

I don't blame your son for slugging the kid. I hope this ends the bullying.

 

[themilesfamily]

OP -- I do strongly encourage you, the next time something happens with this kid, to contact the police and start documenting it with them. It sounds like it's time. Especially if the school and the bully's parents aren't helping. Perhaps that will make this kid's parents sit up and listen -- and it really needs to be documented that this child is a problem. Today's bullies are (statistically) tomorrow's criminals. It's just as well that the police put this kid on their radar screen now. Who knows, maybe the kid will get some actual help/counseling.

My brother's bully in middle school ultimately ended up in Juvenile Detention in high school -- and as an adult, he's now in prison. You could have seen that coming a mile away from the way he acted in middle school. And he never seemed to get help for his behavior -- his parents just didn't care. And the school did nothing.

 

[Praying Colonel]

One day, in school suspension next Wed.

Punched a kid in the mouth today..

Long story, but he was 100% right. This kid, "M" is a total $%^&. We tried meeting with the parents, worked with the school, moved seating assignments etc.

Kid would call our house 8x a day literally and just bug my son. He would write on his shirt, scream in his face, etc. Basically be a bully to my son.. Kid had a run in with another of son's friends last semester that ended up in a fight.

So my son has been talking about this for the last week. I told him you can't be walked all over and you have to stand up for yourself.

So the kid was behind my son today and took a marker and wrote all over the back of his new shirt. My son turned around and slugged him once in the mouth. Dropped the kid and gave him a bloody lip.

Vice Principle calls my wife to give the news (at first he declines to name the kids) but my wife knows who, pulls up all the times we worked with the school etc. So my kid get a one day suspension but tell you what, good freaking for him.

Course my wife is more "oh no a suspension thing" and I am lets meet the parents in the parking lot and kick their butts next!

(kids in question are 7th graders)

My child has a right to defend himself or herself. And under the circumstances described, I've got no problem with what the kid did.

In fact, I'd probably take it up the chain of command all the way to the superintendent, if necessary, to know what they're going to do to stop the other student from writing on my child. I'm not a helicopter parent, but that is unacceptable.

 

[Mkrop]

Violence is never the answer in the beginning, but the OP and his son have done all they could at first. I too would support my child if they hit the other child after being harrassed.