so I gave dd lunch $ & she used it for somethining else

[sbell111]

Even if I were to consider this issue as 'disobeying', I don't feel that any punishment is warranted.


If anything, the parents need to be put on notice to 1) fund the girl's lunch account and 2) Make sure that tickets for these events are purchased timely.

 

[jamimb]

I would do what you suggested with the exception of taking the ticket to school. That would be embarassing and it's worth losing 5.00 to avoid that. I would tear it up and have her stay home.

I am strict and what I say goes. I pick my fights but when I tell me DD to do something or not to do something, I have to stick with it. There is a bigger issue at stake here, it's a lot bigger than she just missed lunch, she disobeyed you. If you let her get away with the little things, where do you draw the line with the larger ones?

Lisa

Exactly! You can't let the disobedience go! Next time it will be easier for her to do something she knows she not suppossed to do and it will be easier this time because there were no consequences last time! My dd's don't get allowance either! GASP!!!!!!!!

 

[Arielle22]

I would do what you suggested with the exception of taking the ticket to school. That would be embarassing and it's worth losing 5.00 to avoid that. I would tear it up and have her stay home.

I am strict and what I say goes. I pick my fights but when I tell me DD to do something or not to do something, I have to stick with it. There is a bigger issue at stake here, it's a lot bigger than she just missed lunch, she disobeyed you. If you let her get away with the little things, where do you draw the line with the larger ones?

Lisa

You don't let them get away with bigger things by telling them that it won't be accepted. Discipline is not an all or nothing deal.

So if my sister lets her 2 year old son not pick up his toys when she told him to, is he bound for a life of ruin?

I wonder what happens in work to some of these all or nothing posters (not specifically Lisa). If you make a minor error at work, are you written up? After all, you disobeyed an order (whether by error or deliberately) so you must be punished right?

The point of raising a child is to ensure they can function in society, not to overly punish them for a minor error. Anyone ever hear that the punishment should fit the crime?

 

[pyrxtc]

This thread has become a soap opera!

The OP sent a friendly "what do you think" post and it's gone from the mother being overbearing to discussion regarding abuse, depression, anti-social, outlaw. What am I missing here??

I agree with jamimb...disobedience is disobedience...if the child doesn't listen, they need to learn to. You can't let kids slide just because at age 12, they half-way listen to you...my kids don't half-way listen to me. They know what I say and they know I MEAN what I say. Major punishment is not necessary here, but a good talking to is...if we don't teach our kids, how will they learn.

Am I suppose to say, "honey, I know you weren't listening to me and it's ok that you spent the money the way I told you specifically not to. I'm sorry I'm trying to be a parent and teach you right from wrong because I understand at your age, to fit in, you need to do what EVERYBODY else is doing. I wouldn't want to hurt your feelings or depress you. I promise to walk on eggshells from now on. So, you just do what you would like to do. If you aren't pregnant or in jail, it's ok. I'll pick my battles..."

Honestly...

Thank you.

 

[Wishing on a star]

The OP sent a friendly "what do you think" post and it's gone from the mother being overbearing to discussion regarding abuse, depression, anti-social, outlaw. What am I missing here??

Well, just in my opinion, I think maybe there is a lot you are missing or not picking up on based on the OP's different comments on two different threads.

Good God, a young female skipped lunch...
Let's just take her up to the school grounds and stone her to death for 'DISOBEDIENCE'.

What is this, Afghanistan?

PS: The ONLY one I see creating soap-opera drama here is the OP, all over some lunch money.

 

[hambirg]

Wow I can't believe this question! Are you serious?

I'm thinking great she made a decision on her own and was pro active and solved a problem. Just what I want her learning to do and why I am raising her to be an independent thinker and problem solver. OP you made a mistake. You knew about the game and didn't give her money for a ticket and who knows they may have said in school the tickets are going fast, we won't sell more when they are gone, or time is running out, something that made it a priority in her mind and she said to her self I have $5 either eat or get the ticket that I really want and they may not have tomorrow. She chose the ticket and had to go without lunch but did it on her own..

I say YEAH way to go learning to make choices with consequences and decisions.

PS I"d be very annoyed at myself that I put her in the spot to have to make that choice, I should have given her the money for the ticket AND lunch.

This! I would actually feel good about the choice she made. Sometimes we have to make sacrifices for the things we really want. She did that.

 

[Dr.Girlfriend]

This! I would actually feel good about the choice she made. Sometimes we have to make sacrifices for the things we really want. She did that.

Exacty this.

Did you guys hear that sound??

It was my eyes rolling out of my head to some of these responses.

You'd really rip up a ticket to a game and make her stay home over $5 that you gave her? REALLY? Holy cow.

 

[Dr.Girlfriend]

Well, just in my opinion, I think maybe there is a lot you are missing or not picking up on based on the OP's different comments on two different threads.

Good God, a young female skipped lunch...
Let's just take her up to the school grounds and stone her to death for 'DISOBEDIENCE'.

What is this, Afghanistan?

PS: The ONLY one I see creating soap-opera drama here is the OP, all over some lunch money.