so I gave dd lunch $ & she used it for somethining else

[wvjules]

I agree that it was completely wrong. The $5 should have been put into the account for lunch. Now she will have to figure out how to pay for those days that the $5 would have paid for her lunch and she will not be going to the Powder Puff game because she did not have permission to buy that ticket to go. That would be her punishment.

I too, would have bought the ticket if asked but to spend money that was not hers to spend on it and then not say anything. t is as bad as stealing and lying.

That is why I like that our school has the lunch accounts paid into through PayPal.

My DD who is 13 agrees with my punishment.

Make her pay you back the $5 or wait til you buy the rest of your kids something for $5 and just don't buy her anything. Straight out of her moth to the keyboard. and that is along with my punishment.

I was hoping you'd give some wise words of wisdom on this thread.

I think this would just create bad feeling between the siblings.

That's how she rolls.

 

[myheartlivesatwdw]

This thread makes me sad. Stealing? More stuff taken away? Going to school? Heaven help me.

 

[Cinderella94]

I was hoping you'd give some wise words of wisdom on this thread.

I'd been waiting for it too!!

 

[luvmythree]

If I was going to give my kid the money for the ticket anyay then what is the big deal? Heck I would have felt bad that my child didn't have money left over and went without lunch. I don't really see this as "complete disobediance." In fact, I find that term in this situation to be a little disturbing. The kid bought a ticket to an event you were going to give her money for anyway. Does it matter which $5 bill she used?

I don't understand that either. I don't see it as disobedient. She used THAT $5.00 for the ticket. Give her another $5.00 (like you said you would) to pay for her lunches. Problem solved since you were going to give it to her anyway. I have 3 teenagers and I definitely wouldn't die on this hill! It seems silly to ME!

 

[pyrxtc]

I was hoping you'd give some wise words of wisdom on this thread.



That's how she rolls.

well the last part was straight from my DD13's mouth. That what she would want done to her.

 

[pyrxtc]

I was hoping you'd give some wise words of wisdom on this thread.



That's how she rolls.

By The By... My DD thought what you all wrote on the other thread hilariously funny since you don't know me from eve. But we can't discuss that since it was closed.

 

[Cinderella94]

well the last part was straight from my DD13's mouth. That what she would want done to her.

Well she's grown up in your house, so that makes sense. The apple doesn't fall far.

 

[pyrxtc]

Well she's grown up in your house, so that makes sense. The apple doesn't fall far.

It's called Family values.

 

[Cinderella94]

It's called Family values.

Guess most of us here on the DIS don't have any! Good to know.

 

[mickeywho?]

It's called Family values.

From what I'm reading on some of these threads tonight it really shows how different everyone's version "family values" are.

OP - I think you've gotten a pretty clear opinion from the majority of these posters today to know that your reaction to punish is severe. You've obviously questioned it yourself or you wouldn't have asked. If you feel you need to send a message - have her make her own lunch for a week. But don't take away the ticket you would have bought her anyways. She is obviously a generally good kid that made one decision you didn't agree with. Talk to her about it - maybe there was pressure there from her friends - see if you can help her make decisions with more thought in the future.

It wouldn't be anything that would phase me with my guy. Although I don't think my son would pick anything over food!

 

[rie'smom]

My DD who is 13 agrees with my punishment.

Make her pay you back the $5 or wait til you buy the rest of your kids something for $5 and just don't buy her anything. Straight out of her moth to the keyboard. and that is along with my punishment.

Just wanted to post that what she says to your face might be different than how she feels.

The last part just has me shaking my head.

 

[Cinderella94]

Just wanted to post that what she says to your face might be different than how she feels.

Are you implying that her daughter would lie?! You silly. They have family values!

 

[luvmyfam444]

Good grief! 11 pages!?!? Really? oh my! I'll get comfortable & try to catch up!

 

[dyna]

OMG she spent her lunch money on a game ticket.....MOM be very glad it was only a game ticket. At 11 an 12 yrs old I used my lunch money for cigarettes by 13 an 14 the things i was buying with my lunch money was not even legal


I too had very strict parents I also learned very young how to lie my way out of most anything with my parents....NEVER went where I said I was going etc

 

[NikiM20]

My DD is 11 1/2. I Am willing to bet if I told her here's $5 put it on your lunch account, all she would hear is here is $5. Most kids that age don't pay attention to details. Cut the poor girl some slack. I learned a long time ago to pick my battles.

 

[luvmyfam444]

SHEW! I finished the thread! Glad to see I gave lots of you something(or someone) to talk about for the night!

There were tons of questions & advice on here - I have read them all.

THANKS!

 

[sasywtch]

I read all of the responses and just shaking my head. I have 4 kids, 34-20 and I can guarantee you that they all skipped lunch here and there and spent their lunch money on somethng else. Shoot, there were Friday evenings where my kids had more money than I did! OP-this is one of the smallest things you will come across during the growing up years.

I think it was the way you wanted to punish that threw alot of people. Sounded like she cut school, went and bought some liquor or something. I had two outgoing kids and two shy kids. If one of the shy kids had bought a ticket for a game after school, I would have been ecstatic. They never did anything after school, never went to games, dances, etc and they are the two that have no self esteem to push themself in the job world right now. The other two played football, softball, went to the proms. They are both succeeding in their careers.

It sounds to me like she was excited about buying the ticket and either couldn't wait due to friends buying them or perhaps thought you weren't going to give her the money. You need to really ask yourself why your daughter didn't want to wait for you to give her the money? It's possible you are giving off vibes that maybe she thought you weren't going to give her the money. If it's a matter of finances, I'd feel bad that I couldn't afford for them to go to this game, they skipped lunch so they could go. Instead of going in pitbull stage (which it sounded like you were-disobediant, going to the school), sit her down and talk to her. Ask her why and really listen. Let her know you are there for her and you were that age once and wanted to go to the games. I'd feel terrible that my kid missed lunch to buy a school event ticket. Now if they went out and bought a Nintendo game, that'd tick me off and they'd make their lunch for awhile

 

[dismom2]

I would not even care about that. I don't understand micromanaging your children to death. That would not even concern me.

You say her lunch account has nothing in it? Make sure her account has money for lunch or make her bring her lunch when you do not have money for the lunch account. Problem solved.

I also agree with this.

I don't think this is a big deal, and would not punish my child for that.

At my child's school, you just add lunch money to an account. Why bother with cash? Every now and then my DD tells me she skipped lunch, either because she truly wasn't hungry at that time, or because she really disliked what they were serving. On those days, she eats when she gets home (she also eats breakfast before school). While I prefer she eat lunch, skipping it now and then for her own reasons does not bother me.

I would let her go to the game. I truly don't think this warrants punishment.

 

[Magic Mom]

Just wanted to post that what she says to your face might be different than how she feels.

The last part just has me shaking my head.

Another good reason why 13 year olds shouldn't be parents.

 

[PaulaSue]

OP, I dont see why you are mad? Dont you think not eating is lesson enough? I would lighten up especially if you were going to let her go in the first place.