SO doesn't like Disney World - Deal Breaker?

[Needafix]

I have a similar issue. I have dated this man for 3 years and we get along well. Both married before and not really looking to get remarried anytime soon. My guy hates crowds. Does not like parades and places with lots of people. He has been to Disney before when his daughter was young but now she was an adult so he really doesn't have a desire to go to Disney. My problem is I really want to share Disney with someone special. I am considering ending this relationship because of this. I am not sure I can live with always having to go with someone else. I have 2 children but they are getting to the age where they want to discover the world without me. I dont know what to do

Oh...I'm sorry to hear that. It would be hard for me too, if I didn't think he'd eventually like it enough to go with me occasionally and not mind if I went without him. I think with us "obsessed" Disney fans, it is important that our SO's at least be able to humor our obsession. To me it would be the level of dislike for Disney that would make the difference because if he made me feel bad about my love of Disney or tried to keep me from going, that would mean a lot more to me than him just not liking Disney. I honestly don't think my SO will LOVE Disney, but I already know he'll be very supportive. I just got an opportunity to go for 4 days in July with a friend and he's all for me going. I hope you figure it out.

 

[goofyernmost]

Personally, my thought is that a relationship is a two way street. I have to think that if that is the reason that you are not sure that this relationship is for you then there might be some other issues and certainly not a love at all costs situation.

I know because I have lived that. At the very least there should be a sharing of things that each enjoy, even if one doesn't relish the idea. If you are willing to go places the SO likes then it is only fair that the SO should be willing to return that favor. If not then there is no real concern about the other, regardless of which one is the selfish one.

After my divorce, having someone that liked Disney was very important to me, but if I had felt strongly enough about the person I would have realized that going to Disney was not the only part of a relationship.

I don't think that it be essential that both need to be avid fans, but I do feel it is important that they are willing to do things just because they care enough about the other to want to see them happy.

Figure out how many days a year that you actually spend at a Disney park as opposed to how many are just with each other. If that doesn't outweigh the need for Disney, then perhaps some second thoughts are in order. In that case, however, it really isn't the dislike of Disney that is the cause. It's more like the straw that broke the camels back.

 

[Disneynut71]

I like I could get him to go to Disney, but he does not like rides or waiting in line...so I would feel bad and not go on rides which is one of the things I love about going. I know I only go once a year for a week, but I really want to share that with my SO. Disney is a part of me...I feel bad when I am leaving in 10 days for Disney and my friends ask if he is going with me and I say no, it's not his thing. My friends know how much I love Disney and they know I would love to share this with him.

 

[+Rosetta+]

I wouldn't worry about it just yet. You probably know his likes and dislike, you can tailor the vacation to "ease" him into it. That's what I did with my fiancee. He was very "disneyisanevilcorperationiwillnevergothere" guy but he's been twice so far and we're taking a Disney Cruise for our Honeymoon.

He's nowhere near the Disney-crazed nerd I am but he still enjoyed the day. I started him with EPCOT since it's closer to his interests and doesn't scream MICKEY MOUSE at every corner. He enjoys going because we get to spend time together and I think he enjoys watching me geek out like a 2yo

Good Luck

 

[Dizmom0923]

My 'ex-husband' knew when we married how I was about Disney and accepted it. I have been going since am 3 or 4 and I am now 37. Once we married it all changed...should only go once every few years, ridiculous that a grown woman wears a Disney shirt, sick obsession, I needed to grow up and realize what life is about. The man had never been to Disney and couldn't wait to go until....we married. All changed like I said, we have been divorced over two years and separated numerous times over ten years of marriage. He has still never been, but I am trying to move there now Yes we had other problems, but until this day he still brings up Disney.

 

[Needafix]

WooHoo - I'm getting a teeny, tiny Disney fix in June. It was KILLING me driving right past Disney to go to Universal, so we've decided to go to Poly for lunch and take the MK monorail loop for a quick view of the Kingdom, then head out. Poly and monorail are 2 of my favorite things, so that will give me a teeny, tiny fix and SO will get a sliver of a glimpse of all the excitement he has in store when I finally get him there. I'm certain that little sliver will get him intrigued enough to want to check it out ASAP. I can't believe he's never been there.

It was funny when I came up with the idea to dine at Poly - he has zero concept. He couldn't understand why they'd let us into the park without having to pay park prices.

I CANNOT wait!!!!

 

[andysomma1]

There are two deal breakers for me. One is she can not be a Red Sox fan at all, not even a tiny bit. Two would be not appreciating Disney or at least my love for it. I've been alone 13 years this month, it's been that long since the girl I was going to marry died, and I'm only 38 so that's a REALLY long time. Even after all this time if I found somebody I could date if she had a problem with my Disney love she would have to go. I know somebody whose husband cannot stand Disney and it has put a strain on their relationship, to say the least.

 

[aVASTGrl]

There are two deal breakers for me. One is she can not be a Red Sox fan at all, not even a tiny bit.

THIS is a deal breaker for me, too! Go Yankees!

 

[andysomma1]

THIS is a deal breaker for me, too! Go Yankees!

Hallelujah and Amen to that!

 

[nurse.darcy]

My story. . .which is kinda funny.

I met my man through Match.com. He had been working at the Swan Hotel for many years but the last time he had been to the parks was when his kids were young (they are both Army boys - My son is a Sailor). It was in the 90s. Our first date was at Epcot and we strolled around, went on Soarin, and had dinner at La Hacienda. It was a beautiful date. . .we closed down Epcot and went to HOB in DTD till it closed and then went to a local pub. I have been with my guy every since that first date. He doesn't "love" WDW but he accepts and understands my love. Its awesome and my guy is awesome. Wouldn't trade him for the world.

 

[Needafix]

THIS is a deal breaker for me, too! Go Yankees!

Another Yankee fan here! I'm not sure which is worse right now though. I'm a Yankee fan living in Philly territory and dating a die hard Philly fan. Honestly, I have to keep asking him "How many rings do the Philly's have? Just asking!" You know I've gotta love him.

My story. . .which is kinda funny.

I met my man through Match.com. He had been working at the Swan Hotel for many years but the last time he had been to the parks was when his kids were young (they are both Army boys - My son is a Sailor). It was in the 90s. Our first date was at Epcot and we strolled around, went on Soarin, and had dinner at La Hacienda. It was a beautiful date. . .we closed down Epcot and went to HOB in DTD till it closed and then went to a local pub. I have been with my guy every since that first date. He doesn't "love" WDW but he accepts and understands my love. Its awesome and my guy is awesome. Wouldn't trade him for the world.

Now that's an awesome story!

I've been getting more lax with my Disney chat around SO, to test him out, and he finally said that he really does think I'm obsessed. I mentioned to him that if he stops checking out and talking about classic cars every time we pass one or he sees a picture of one, I'll stop talking Disney. He said "Point well taken, when are we going to Disney?" He also mentioned that if I don't mind playing a round of golf with him when we're at Disney, he definitely won't mind going. The sacrifices we have to make! (Although that may be a bit hard giving up 5+ hours of Disney time, but I'll try not to mention that to him )

 

[snarlingcoyote]

There are two deal breakers for me. One is she can not be a Red Sox fan at all, not even a tiny bit. Two would be not appreciating Disney or at least my love for it. I've been alone 13 years this month, it's been that long since the girl I was going to marry died, and I'm only 38 so that's a REALLY long time. Even after all this time if I found somebody I could date if she had a problem with my Disney love she would have to go. I know somebody whose husband cannot stand Disney and it has put a strain on their relationship, to say the least.

THIS is a deal breaker for me, too! Go Yankees!

OMGoodness! I think I could live with someone who hated Disney before I could live with someone who wasn't a dyed-in-the-wool Red Sox fan or, at the very least, spat after having to say the Y word.

DH isn't as big a WDW fan as I am, but I'm a relatively recent convert - in the past few years - and he has as much fun going to Disney as I do, he just doesn't get as much pleasure out of obsessing over planning for trips as I do.

Also, I get really stressed out on some vacations - I have ADHD and some form of anxiety disorder - which eventually leads me to overstress and overstimulate at some point and I have a meltdown. I've tried everything short of high doses of tranquilizers and it just is. Thing is, this doesn't happen at WDW; once we're there, honestly, the moment we get in the car and start the drive to Disney, the only thing I worry about is whether or not I'm going to get a blister on my toe, or if I want to wash out a blouse and let it dry on the balcony to wear a second day. And those are things I can answer with a piece of moleskin and just washing the blouse out on the off chance I will. Not things that bother me.

DH loves the rides and the atmosphere and just being able to be there and forget about everything work related in this gleeful fantasy world designed to give guests a good experience, but I think even if he didn't, he'd still be happy to go with me, just to see ME completely de-stress and be able to be a total ADHD spazzy nerd without a care in the world who can't focus on anything for more than a few minutes or who over focuses on weird things.

Now, we do have moments of tension because I'm a total commando and he's just not, but as we go in September, it's not really a big deal. We just meet in the middle. I commando for the must-do headliner stuff and we just meander and enjoy ourselves on everything else.

OP, here's the question: is this a big deal for you? And do you want to be with someone who won't just suck it up and do something that brings you great joy every once in a while? And are you willing to do this for an SO as well?

 

[Needafix]

OP, here's the question: is this a big deal for you? And do you want to be with someone who won't just suck it up and do something that brings you great joy every once in a while? And are you willing to do this for an SO as well?

snarlingcoyote - It would be a big deal if SO hated Disney and never wanted me to go. Luckily, as I've mentioned in my posts, SO is fantastic and will definitely do anything just to see me smile and I'd do it for him. I was just curious, b/c let's face it, most of us on DIS are pretty die hard and as some have mentioned, Disney is a way of life, so it would be significant if SO truly hated everything about Disney.

No worries here.

 

[bdoyledimou]

I dated a woman for a year, and on our anniversary we went to Disney World for a week.
After the 4th day, she told me to drive her home. Not fly. Drive. She hated flying, she hated Disney, she hated hotels, she hated the food, and all the "happy" people.

She went home. I stayed. Haven't spoken to her since.

My next girlfriend had never been to Disney either.. so it was a priority to get her there before we got serious. She cried when she saw the MK rope drop. She cried when she met Mickey and Minnie, and now (6 years later) our kitchen has a shrine dedicated to the Fab 5

 

[Needafix]

I dated a woman for a year, and on our anniversary we went to Disney World for a week.
After the 4th day, she told me to drive her home. Not fly. Drive. She hated flying, she hated Disney, she hated hotels, she hated the food, and all the "happy" people.

She went home. I stayed. Haven't spoken to her since.

My next girlfriend had never been to Disney either.. so it was a priority to get her there before we got serious. She cried when she saw the MK rope drop. She cried when she met Mickey and Minnie, and now (6 years later) our kitchen has a shrine dedicated to the Fab 5

Awe....That's so cool and I'm so happy for you,, but I have to admit I laughed at your first story. See, it is important. It's not just that it's Disney, it's who we are. Good for you that you stayed when she left.

 

[goofyernmost]

I dated a woman for a year, and on our anniversary we went to Disney World for a week.
After the 4th day, she told me to drive her home. Not fly. Drive. She hated flying, she hated Disney, she hated hotels, she hated the food, and all the "happy" people.

She went home. I stayed. Haven't spoken to her since.

My next girlfriend had never been to Disney either.. so it was a priority to get her there before we got serious. She cried when she saw the MK rope drop. She cried when she met Mickey and Minnie, and now (6 years later) our kitchen has a shrine dedicated to the Fab 5

I can relate partially to the first story. I was dating this lady and we decided that we would go to Disney together. First I started looking for inexpensive airfare. As I was trying to find a good date to go, she informed me that she had never flown and really didn't want too. OK, I'm flexible, so I said lets make it a road trip then. Hooray, she thought that was a great idea. I started planning, as much as I plan, for a two week road trip. It would include WDW, Universal, side trip to Key West and whatever else might strike us while we were there. I bought the park tickets made reservations at the hotels and was all set to go. Two days before our scheduled departure she informed me that she had a problem with traveling. Some sort of phobia, I guess, that I hadn't ever heard of, and that she didn't think she could go.

Even though I didn't hate her for it, (I might have if I didn't still have the unused park hopper in my possession, for later use) but I decided that I was going anyway. I had been saving up for it for over a year and was looking forward to going. I went to Key West, rode a helicopter over WDW, stopped at Myrtle Beach for a few days on the way back, and except for it being lonely at times...enjoyed it a lot.

I brought her back two things...some Disney Jewelry and the following picture that I took from (our) room in Key West.

That was pretty much the end of that. I never felt the same way again and we slowly faded into history.

 

[wdwcrazy]

I have been fortunate to have met a man that had never been to Disney but was willing to go. We went with my 10 year old daughter and he had a good time. Can't say that he was obsessed like myself but accepting is a better word.

Fast forward 21 years. We have now been married 21 years. Been to Disneyworld at least 50 times averaging at least 3 times a year. He now is a lover of the world and the resort having expressed his choice of favorite restaurants, rides and resorts. We are DVc owners for the past 10 years and although our daughter is grown we still go to Disney with and without her.

I think it is not necessary for one to be obsessed but to care enough about that SO to want to share their love of it. Hopefully in that they will grow to love or at least accept it too.

Good luck to all finding their soul mate. I have found my prince.

 

[Needafix]

WDWcrazy - WooHoo!!! That's exactly my hope and expectations. Thanks for making my day.

 

[pg0314]

Nope, not a dealbreaker if he's a good guy. But you can be sure I'd go without him if he absolutely hated it!

 

[tfc3rid]

Been with my now wife for 11 years. She has been to WDW with me about 6 times, once to Disneyland and once to Disneyland Paris... She HATES going to the parks... With a passion... Doesn't find it fun... Feels bad for people going there and spending so much $$ (even though it is THEIR choice)... It's tough sometimes but we compromise on our vacations...

I have DVC points to burn this fall so I took advantage of last week's AirTran fare sale and am going by myself 3 times before year's end...