So annoyed

[buzz for boys]

We went for my ds pre op today and while we were there he told the nurse that she was wasting her time because he didnt want the op. I laughed it off and said hes scared thats all he will be fine when he has had a bit more prep from us!! She disappeared out the room and when she came bk she had his consultant with her. he asked a few questions then said if cameron doesnt agree to the op they wont be able to do it !!
Hes 8 yrs old and has aspergers and cant possible be able to make this kind of decision but apparently its classed as abuse if he says no and they do it!!
He is in constant pain and has had a really bad infection that wont go now till hes had the op but its now indefinatly postponed why cameron thinks hard about his choices.
Be honest do u think this is mental or am i failing to see something here??

 

[scottish mum]

I am with you on this. I don't think he should have the final choice. The world is going mad

 

[cherjp]

i agree with you, you are his parents so therefore i think its your decision and your permission that should be given.

the whole world has gone so pc mad its ridiculous, i mean recently i read the age limit is supposed to be made higher for children that commit crimes, thinks its now 12 before they can be charged because they are not really responsible for their actions but an 8 year with aspergers can make a major decision like that .

ridiculous, i feel for you as his parents, you must be so mad.

sorry off soap box now!!!

 

[joolz1910]

How can an 8 year old be expected to have a full understanding of the repercussions of refusing an operation? I would imagine that most young children would refuse an operation! At what age is it up to the parent? I would be very unhappy if this happened with one of my children. I hope they don't apply this to immunisations/inoculations as 2 of my children are petrified of needles and get hysterical when the have an injection!

 

[Pinky166]

I am totally with you....the world has gone mad!

I hope you are able to get Cameron to agree to the op asap to relieve his pain.

 

[SusanEllen]

I suppose the law could vary between our countries on this point, but I have to think the basic principle would be the same. If your child needed a treatment that you refused to obtain for him and he suffered from lack of a needed treatment or operation you would be held responsible for not properly caring for him, wouldn't you? It seems that deferring to a child's decision/fear would put you at fault for neglecting his needs. It's seems really twisted that the "consultant" (I take it, not a doctor) would follow the dictates of a child over a doctor's recommendation for surgery. Does your hospital have a patient advocate, a public liaison or a social worker who can help you with this? With or without a diagnosis of Asperger's, surerly a minor child shouldn't be allowed to dictate his medical care. I wish you luck and your son a speedy and complete recovery.

 

[Goofysmate]

 

[mandymouse]

I am totally with you....the world has gone mad!

I hope you are able to get Cameron to agree to the op asap to relieve his pain.

Me too

 

[natalielongstaff]

im in agreement, 8 is too young to understand the full implications...heck even at 36 i would opt out if given the soft option

 

[wideeyes]

That's scary, I hope you can convince your son. I thought it would be part of the doctors job to reassure him, I would be so angry in your situation.

 

[emily1982]

I think it depends on what kind of op it is, if he is in pain though he should have it. The hospital is probably just following policy though.

Has he said why he doesnt want it?
Story boards are quite good....made up of photos of the hospital door, hospital bed, pictures of the doctors, pictures of the play-room...its just like a routine in pictures. I really recommend them.

 

[Gaynor]

I'm sure no 8 year would go ahead with an operation if asked, in fact a lot of adults would opt out, I know I would.
Hope you can talk him around

 

[Dimplenose]

I suppose the law could vary between our countries on this point, but I have to think the basic principle would be the same. If your child needed a treatment that you refused to obtain for him and he suffered from lack of a needed treatment or operation you would be held responsible for not properly caring for him, wouldn't you? It seems that deferring to a child's decision/fear would put you at fault for neglecting his needs. It's seems really twisted that the "consultant" (I take it, not a doctor) would follow the dictates of a child over a doctor's recommendation for surgery. Does your hospital have a patient advocate, a public liaison or a social worker who can help you with this? With or without a diagnosis of Asperger's, surerly a minor child shouldn't be allowed to dictate his medical care. I wish you luck and your son a speedy and complete recovery.

I agree that you would be considered neglectful if you didn't get the proper treatment for him.

(Unfortunately "Consultant" is the title given to the most senior doctor and he/she will have the final decision as to whether the operation is carried out.)

I hope they all see sense and things get sorted out.

 

[Beth__WDW23/6/02]

How crazy,Our DD has had a minor op beginning of the month she's 9 and was scared she pointed this out to the nurses and consultant and they reassured her all would be fine and talked to her through the process before she was put to sleep.
They also chatted to her to put her at ease etc.
I think at 8 a child doesn't understand and obviously will be scared.
Hope the pain is soon eased and you can reassure your child that all will be ok.

 

[jjk]

the world has gone mad!, I hope you get it sorted

 

[buzz for boys]

Thanks guys at least I know im not going mad!!
cameron has had so many operations he is quite use to the whole routine of being put to sleep so I dont think its that that has scared him. The hospital keep reminding us that this is a BIG operation and say it repeatly in front of him. Cameron said last night that e would sooner have a loads of little operations than one big one *** he thinks the pain will be worse if its a bigger op!!
Thing is I cant lie to him and tell him it wont hurt *** we know it will and the main concern we have is he wont take pain relief!! The hospital are following their protocol and say he needs to trust them as he will be seeing drs for the rest of his life but I dont think they realise just how much it takes to persuade cameron to try a new flavour of crisps let alone have an operation that they keep telling us is big.