Smelly woman. What would you do?

[pampam]

I teach line dancing. I have 2 classes, with about 40 students total. One of my students stinks. There is no other way to describe it. And when she gets heated up, it becomes worse. It's not necesarily body odour, although there is that too. I had to alter one of our shirts that had been in her house for only a few hours, and I had to wash it before I could work on it, it stunk so bad so I know her house stinks too. She breeds dogs, and although I have never been in her house, I understand her house is fetid with odour. Many of the other students have mentioned it to me, but I truly don't know how to handle it. I would never for the world want to hurt or offend her. I try to be peacable with all people, but this is putting me in a quandry. She goes to both classes. Last week, I had one of my students leave early, and she told me later it was because of the smells. Any ideas?

 

[luvsJack]

Don't know how this would work with adults, but one of the kid's teachers sent a note out one time about "smells". Its just said something about them all being in a closed in place together and after activity it can be bit hard to stay so close. She just asked that everyone remember to teach/use good hygiene and to bathe/shower daily, use deodorant and that possibly talcum powder such as "Shower to Shower".

I realize that this woman's problem is not sweat smells but maybe it will make her more aware of making sure she doesn't smell bad?

There used to be a boy in my younger ds's class that smelled like a barnyard all the time. His family raised all kinds of animals and apparently the animals were allowed free range in and out of the house--we're talking goats, pot-bellied pigs, etc. Not only did he smell but so did his mom. I did find it strange that his dad did not. Don't know what the difference was except he was a cop so maybe his uniforms were washed outside the home and didn't pick up the smell.

Or maybe, there would be a way to take the woman aside and mention the shirt smelling and you had to wash it? Maybe just say that "I just wanted you to know that there may be something in your washer, dryer or closet that is getting smells into your clothes" In this way, you're not saying "you and your house stink" but letting her know there is a problem.

 

[Tinijocaro]

My guess is that if her entire house reeks, you won't be able to say anything to get her to do something about it. She would have to get rid of her dogs, completely change her habits, wash EVERYTHING in her house...I just think a person like that would do all that.

I have a student (4th grade) who REEKS of cat pee. Every single week when I see her-she has 14 cats and a very unstable home life. Teachers have complained but to no avail.

Good luck is all I can say. Maybe if you let her know that the dog smell is bothering the others in the class, she will quit. That's the only solution I see.

 

[TangaroaTiki]

You could be talking about a friend of mine. She is the nicest lady - an older, single mom of a 10 yr-old DS. She is a 'starving artist' and can't afford much. She maintains her home as much as she can (including lots of help from friends) but there is a definite mold problem in her house. The smell knocks you over whe you enter the house and she smells of it as does her son.

We have all tried to tell her of the problem, but she doesn't seem to notice it or care.

 

[Sleestack]

Wow. Very awkward situation. I just dont see how you can say anything to her. Like a PP said, she smells like her house and probably has no idea so if you mention smells she wont even think youre talking about her. Can YOU counter attack with some smelly stuff? I bought the strongest anti-odor spray from Bath and body. Eucalyptus and spearmint. Sounds bad but it is fresh and strong and actually an odor killer not a cover. I'd lay a couple squirts of that on the room and have a oil burner going in a fresh anti-odor scent. Not something stinky and heavy but clean and fresh. Oh poor you. I feel so bad for you. I hope at least there is a window.

 

[scroot]

When you work at the theater, you don't smell the popcorn. . . It's called "smell adaptation." I would bet that she is completely unaware.

How about a dog alergy story. Perhaps in a note, "some of the class are highly alergic to dogs and others in the class are bringing in dog aroma and perhaps dog hair or dander. We want everyone to be able to participate free from medical problems. If you have dogs we would kindly ask, for the health and safety of others, that your clothes and person are as clean as possible when you attend.

Good luck--I once had this with an office volunteer--It wasn't so much the smell. It was the burning in my eyes.

 

[tiggger1]

We had to do this in theatre a ton of times. We just had the director make an announcements saying that the lights and movement make people sweat and to make sure what everyone showers daily, use deodorant and not to wear smelly perfumes/lotions. I would use some short of instant odor spray like Glade. It sprays at timed increments and can help.. you might need 2 through!

 

[tiggger1]

We had to do this in theatre a ton of times. We just had the director make an announcements saying that the lights and movement make people sweat and to make sure what everyone showers daily, use deodorant and not to wear smelly perfumes/lotions. I would use some short of instant odor spray like Glade. It sprays at timed increments and can help.. you might need 2 through!

 

[golfgal]

Personally if I had this issue I would want to know. I would be embarrassed but glad someone said something. I think you need to take her aside and tactfully as possible let her know of the problem. There are some medical issues that can cause BO so that might be something too.

 

[a1tinkfans]

My ds has a friend, the nicest kid...but goodness, he stinks...actually think it is the CLOTHES he wears, like that musty damp smell.....like when you leave damp clothes in a dryer.....he comes over and the futon SMELLS after he leaves...They get in my car and OH GEEZE, IT smells after he leaves.
I had to say something to my son and he was oblivious....then I told him, the kid can NOT go in my car anymore....sorry..i just cannot take it....my DH and I have talked about it as it freaks him out that I literally had to go and air out the futon cushion AND use a spray on it....meanwhile they are good friends and this is VERY difficult...I have said off handidly once in the yard as they were hanging...geeze guys one of you needs a shower and kinda laughed....it went no where, except for the GLARE I got from my son....he knew what I was doing....didn't work...just awful~!!

 

[Disney Ella]

That is definitely a tough situation to handle delicately without hurting the woman's feelings. I just wanted to mention that it wouldn't be a good idea to try to cover up the odor by spraying things in your studio because that could then make it worse for people with allergies and asthma. I know I can't be around any area with strong air freshener smell. Obviously you have to do something if the smell is bothering other people, but I think you have to be prepared that no matter how delicately you handle it that the woman may be offended and quit coming.

 

[mousey]

This is a hard situation. My friends husband just had a problem with a co-worker who smelled and the whole department was complaining about him. I don't recommend this way, but my friends husband called him into his office and made some small talk and suddenly just blurted out, "Harold you smell!!" Harold looked very surprised but replied "I do??" Turns out Harold lived at home with an elderly mother and was oblivious to it. Next day, Harold comes in cleaned up with cologne. Good Luck!!!

 

[acejka]

I would want to know, but in a gentle, non-rude way.

There was a girl at our store who had a BO problem and since we work outside in the summer heat, we fixed it by letting the girls know that we'd supplied some lotion, body spray and spray on deodorant since we understand that its hot outside, we are outside walking around helping customers and we know sometimes what we applied ini the morning doesn't always last in those conditions. It fixed the problem without hurting anyone, or embarrassing them.

 

[XTinabell]

I would tell the class as whole that you have received complaints from the class after yours that the room smells after your class. Remind all the students that out of courtesy could they please wear clean clothes and deodorants. If she doesn't get the message I think pulling her aside and being blunt is the best option to avoid losing some of your class members.

 

[Cindyluwho]

I would tell the class as whole that you have received complaints from the class after yours that the room smells after your class. Remind all the students that out of courtesy could they please wear clean clothes and deodorants. If she doesn't get the message I think pulling her aside and being blunt is the best option to avoid losing some of your class members.

I've read all the replies and I like this one best. OP, you are in a tuff spot. If the above doesn't work I'm afraid you will have to tell her upfront, it would be wrong of you to lose other participants because of her.

 

[Imzadi]

Pampam, I sent you a PM. We no longer get the grey pop-up boxes alerting us that we have PMs. One of the great Board upgrades & improvements.

 

[pampam]

First of all, I would like to thank you for all your suggestions and ideas.

I thought perhaps she had improved, so I was reluctant to say anything. I guess it was just wishfull thinking. One of my dancers had to leave the class tonight shortly after she arrived, because of the smell.

I think I will go with XTinabell's idea. The seniors use the room for a lunch right after we dance on Friday mornings, so I'm thinking I will just say that there were complaints about the smell. I know with summer coming on it could get worse, so we must remember to shower before we come, and put on fresh clean clothes. Don't forget the deodorant. We get a break on the room from the seniors and we don't want to do anything to offend anyone. That way, no one is singled out as being the complainer or the offender. She may even think it was one of the seniors that complained. If I say it to the whole class, (and most of them will know I don't mean them) then her feelings shouldn't get hurt. I've forwarned some of them what I have planned, in case they start to question me or complain. I need backup. Anyway, I'm thinking it will be words to that effect. What do you think?

 

[Imzadi]

Sounds good. Make sure you do it at a time she will really be listening. If you do it at the end of class, she may already be "tuned out" and your whole speech will go past her.

 

[Robmom]

That sounds like a good solution. I hope it works out well for you.

 

[pampam]

Well, I did it.

I told a few of the complainers what I had in mind, so if I needed backup they would be there for me. Then I explained there was a problem with the smell after we have used the room. I stressed bathing before we come, and putting on clean fresh clothes. I reminded them not to think yesterday's clothes were acceptable. Even if they looked clean, there could still be a problem with smell. I mentioned getting some good deodorant, but make sure we shower before we go dancing. The smelly woman complained, and argued, but I reminded them that we get the room for minimal cost, and we don't want to offend anyone. Whenever she complained, or tried to change the subject, I brought it back to the odours, and how we must maintain our cleanness. I mentioned especially how difficult it is to stay fresh in the summer, but how important it is. I did this in a class setting, without centering anyone out. I really felt that she didn't get it, because of how she complained, but everone else was very supportive. Afterward, I felt sick. I shouldn't have to teach a hygene class to a bunch of grown women. (No one stinks except this one woman, but I didn't want to hurt her feelings, so I addressed it to all.) I told the complainers privately that I would never do that again. If there was still issues with smell, they would have to address it themselves. They understood completely.

I do believe it helped. She still has an odour, but I don't think it is as bad. She seems to be cleaner. She hasn't taken offence.

Thanks to all for your help and support.