Skimpy Teen Clothing: Opinions?

[vcgirl925]

I feel really bad for your children, that is all.

Why? Because she is being a parent to her children? Because she is trying to teach them to be self respecting young women? Why on earth would you feel sorry for them?

eeyorepixie, keep doing what you're doing, your girls will turn out exceptional!

 

[Lilogirl]

I feel really bad for your children, that is all.

That was uncalled for!

What is wrong with teaching girls respect for themselves?

 

[jenrein]

That was uncalled for!

What is wrong with teaching girls respect for themselves?

Not a thing. I just cannot believe how some kids are treated. Guess my views are totally different than some others. I am not super overprotective mom, I am all about kids learning and failing at a young age to teach them life lessons. I let my kids make a lot of choices and I allow them to watch pg-13 and sometimes a rated r movie- so they can watch it with my guidance. I guess I am a creature of environment and todays environment will swallow you alive if you cannot even stomach a hannah montana show or some store brand on your shirt. So in my eyes and my opinion, which I am entitled to express, yes I feel sorry for the kids that will be constantly shielded from real life.

 

[kcromley]

I'm confused as to why there is even a disagreement about this. As I see it, a woman informed another person she was not comfortable accompanying her to a public place given the mode of dress. No problem with that, and I would say it (and I think most of us would in some situations), irrespective of the age of the person. The girl may have a right to wear anything, but the woman certainly doesn't have to accompany her, and I applaud her for expressing her feelings honestly and candidly. All of us would draw the line somewhere-would you really accompany someone to the mall who was wearing a swastika or other racially, religiously, or ethnically offensive statement? Of course not, and you would, I hope, point out the offensive matter and expect it to be rectified or not accompany the girl.

 

[Lilogirl]

Not a thing. I just cannot believe how some kids are treated. Guess my views are totally different than some others. I am not super overprotective mom, I am all about kids learning and failing at a young age to teach them life lessons. I let my kids make a lot of choices and I allow them to watch pg-13 and sometimes a rated r movie- so they can watch it with my guidance. I guess I am a creature of environment and todays environment will swallow you alive if you cannot even stomach a hannah montana show or some store brand on your shirt. So in my eyes and my opinion, which I am entitled to express, yes I feel sorry for the kids that will be constantly shielded from real life.

I would agree with your statement "I cannot believe how some kids are treated", but for different reasons that you I am sure. I read what the PP said she is not "shielding" her children. She made the comment she let her children watch Hanna Montana and her kids saw how mindless it was.
I am not sure how "Hanna Montana" could be considered "real life". I don't know any teens who are secretly "popstars".

 

[jenrein]

I would agree with your statement "I cannot believe how some kids are treated", but for different reasons that you I am sure. I read what the PP said she is not "shielding" her children. She made the comment she let her children watch Hanna Montana and her kids saw how mindless it was.
I am not sure how "Hanna Montana" could be considered "real life". I don't know any teens who are secretly "popstars".

Please go ahead and re-read my statement. I was referring to kids watching shows and wearing clothing labels. Nope...no secret popstars here....

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I'm confused as to why there is even a disagreement about this. As I see it, a woman informed another person she was not comfortable accompanying her to a public place given the mode of dress. No problem with that, and I would say it (and I think most of us would in some situations), irrespective of the age of the person. The girl may have a right to wear anything, but the woman certainly doesn't have to accompany her, and I applaud her for expressing her feelings honestly and candidly. All of us would draw the line somewhere-would you really accompany someone to the mall who was wearing a swastika or other racially, religiously, or ethnically offensive statement? Of course not, and you would, I hope, point out the offensive matter and expect it to be rectified or not accompany the girl.

For me those things are a totally different thing than wearing hoochie clothing. I would not even be friends with someone who had views like that so it really would not be an issue. I still don't think you have the right to tell others (unless they are your own kids) what they should or should not wear.

 

[Lilogirl]

I'm confused as to why there is even a disagreement about this. As I see it, a woman informed another person she was not comfortable accompanying her to a public place given the mode of dress. No problem with that, and I would say it (and I think most of us would in some situations), irrespective of the age of the person. The girl may have a right to wear anything, but the woman certainly doesn't have to accompany her, and I applaud her for expressing her feelings honestly and candidly. All of us would draw the line somewhere-would you really accompany someone to the mall who was wearing a swastika or other racially, religiously, or ethnically offensive statement? Of course not, and you would, I hope, point out the offensive matter and expect it to be rectified or not accompany the girl.

The problem comes in with WHERE some people "draw the line". Some people encourage children (no matter the age) to dress in "offensive" clothing. Some parents refuse to allow such behavior. I too commend the OP for "drawing the line".

 

[disykat]

I'm on the side of the mom telling the child she wasn't comfortable taking her to the mall. Just because my kids have friends doesn't mean I put up with behavior that goes against my beliefs from them when I'm in charge. They have a choice, not hang out at our house or rely on me for transportation if they think I'm too strict, or follow our rules when they're on our "turf."

I have teens and I expect them to either follow the rules of other parents when they visit friends or get themselves out of the situation if those rules make them uncomfortable.

 

[NMAmy]

By the way tried to block Hannah Montanna and Zoey 101 they were rated G and as far as I am concerned they should be only for 12 and up. 5 year olds should not be thinking about kissing boys they should be playing with dolls!

So no Little Mermaid or Cinderella or Snow White or Sleeping Beauty either? They all kind of focus on a kiss from a boy.

 

[mjkacmom]

While I agree with a lot of what you wrote I have a few questions. What if Victoria's Secret was called Granny's Closet? Would it change the way you think of the store? It is a bra store. They sell thongs and padded bras at the bra store that I go to where I get a professional fitting from the kind ladies that work there. I wouldn't buy trashy stuff for my kids no matter what store we were in but I don't get why anyone is horrified at going to Victoria's Secret to get bras. I don't even think there is anything remotely racy in there. In fact, at one mall here VS is right next to the Disney Store. As for 5 year olds thinking of kissing boys, well Disney has instilled that whole Prince Charming stuff. Fairy tales are where kids get those ideas, not from Hannah Montana. I do however agree with you that blocking the shows are not effective. We let our kids watch many different things but they know what we think about certain things and like you they think the shows that we don't like are fresh and have no interest in watching them. I also agree with you in that too many parents want to be friends with their kids. I have enough friends thank you. I am a parent. That being said- I still think it is not anyone else's place to parent someone else's child. The woman was out of line imo.

I agree - I too am raising 3 girls, but not in a bubble. I am not their friend (and if in doubt, ask my 12 year old). I am raising my girls to be strong, independent, and aware. My 12 year old just finished reading a great book, Speak, about a 13 year old, drunk for the first time, who was raped. She couldn't put it down. She's starting JH in the fall, and if I hear one more horror story about oral sex parties, I'm going to throw up. We talk about sex, why it's best to wait until adulthood, teen pregnancy, and the dangers of STD's.

VS, although I've never shopped their with her (since Target is much closer), sells underwear - my dd wears underwear, and they sell very similar stuff at Target and Kholhs. What is the big deal?

You can't keep them sheltered - the real world still exists. If one wants to shield their child from the horrors of Hannah Montana, fine - I prefer to use shows like this for open discussions on what is appropriate at what age.

 

[vcgirl925]

Not a thing. I just cannot believe how some kids are treated. Guess my views are totally different than some others. I am not super overprotective mom, I am all about kids learning and failing at a young age to teach them life lessons. I let my kids make a lot of choices and I allow them to watch pg-13 and sometimes a rated r movie- so they can watch it with my guidance. I guess I am a creature of environment and todays environment will swallow you alive if you cannot even stomach a hannah montana show or some store brand on your shirt. So in my eyes and my opinion, which I am entitled to express, yes I feel sorry for the kids that will be constantly shielded from real life.

Did you actually read her post? Because this is what she says:

"I have 3 young girls and I can give them many other kinds of choices besides dressing like sluts. My girls are in karate, and sports and we do things that will show them all that they can do. "

So she is not preventing her kids from making choices and she is not sheltering them. They are being taught self respect. Kids need structure and they need rules. Yes they should have freedoms as well to make their own mistakes, but there are also some mistakes that parents can help them prevent. It's our jobs as parents to find the happy medium.

 

[vcgirl925]

I agree - I too am raising 3 girls, but not in a bubble. I am not their friend (and if in doubt, ask my 12 year old). I am raising my girls to be strong, independent, and aware. My 12 year old just finished reading a great book, Speak, about a 13 year old, drunk for the first time, who was raped. She couldn't put it down. She's starting JH in the fall, and if I hear one more horror story about oral sex parties, I'm going to throw up. We talk about sex, why it's best to wait until adulthood, teen pregnancy, and the dangers of STD's.

VS, although I've never shopped their with her (since Target is much closer), sells underwear - my dd wears underwear, and they sell very similar stuff at Target and Kholhs. What is the big deal?

You can't keep them sheltered - the real world still exists. If one wants to shield their child from the horrors of Hannah Montana, fine - I prefer to use shows like this for open discussions on what is appropriate at what age.

I think it's great that you have an open relationship with your dd's. I think that is very important to have. I also have no problem with VS but i do have a problem with buying girls thongs or super sexy undies. That's JMO, they do have nice underwear at VS that are pretty but not sex kitten. I buy all my granny panties from victoria's secret..LOL. Those high cut briefs that are 5 for 25 are the only things i'll wear! Maybe we need a Granny's closet around my house.

 

[jenrein]

Did you actually read her post? Because this is what she says:

"I have 3 young girls and I can give them many other kinds of choices besides dressing like sluts. My girls are in karate, and sports and we do things that will show them all that they can do. "

So she is not preventing her kids from making choices and she is not sheltering them. They are being taught self respect. Kids need structure and they need rules. Yes they should have freedoms as well to make their own mistakes, but there are also some mistakes that parents can help them prevent. It's our jobs as parents to find the happy medium.

I did read her post. I see a mom who is afraid to let her children see someone kiss, like a PP said, almost every Disney movie has it too. I would rather see how they react to watching something and let them ask me about it or take the opportunity to start a conversation about it. Good thing her kids enjoys sports- I mean, jeesh, since I buy my kids clothes at Hollister I must NEVER let my kids join sports. No, I am much too busy teaching them how to be taken advantage of and abused because I am such a bad parent for buying clothes they feel good about wearing. My kids have taken dance, hockey, lacrosse, soccer, girl scouts, boy scouts....oh my! You could have one of my hooligans ON YOUR kids team! Oh my!

I also read

"besides dressing like sluts"
"It is so laughable, all these parents"
"MORONS!!!"

Great adult speaking right there...is that post g- rated?

 

[tlbwriter]

I think it's great that you have an open relationship with your dd's. I think that is very important to have. I also have no problem with VS but i do have a problem with buying girls thongs or super sexy undies. That's JMO, they do have nice underwear at VS that are pretty but not sex kitten. I buy all my granny panties from victoria's secret..LOL. Those high cut briefs that are 5 for 25 are the only things i'll wear! Maybe we need a Granny's closet around my house.

The VS at my mall has a separate store now, called "Pink," that seems to have more teen-friendly clothing. Cute cotton panties and bras, pajama pants, body spray, etc. - no mesh, no see-thru, no thongs that I noticed.

Of course, I'm still mind-boggled at the idea that a pre-teen could be considered a "young adult."

 

[Disneygirl26]

It really behooves me that people are offended by what others wear, I can understand clothing that has hateful things about race, religion, etc, but I don't understand how someone who you feel is dressed inappropriate or trashy or like slut offends anyone, is being a slut offensive or dressing like one offensive? The way a person dresses is their choice or if they’re kids it’s their parents choice, since when do we have a right to go around and dictate what a person should wear? When do you draw the line, is it ok tell your coworker that what they’re wearing you find inappropriate and therefore you can’t work? I really would like to know why the OP is so easily embarrassed. Clothing is just clothing, And I also don’t get it if they are at my house then its my rules, ok granted if your kids have friends over they are expected to act a certain way, and if they don’t they get sent home and not invited back, but when did that extend to clothing? I find crocs to be ugly especially on boys, is it ok that I off to drive him home to change his shoes? If I spank my kids is it ok that I spank your kids while they’re at my house?

 

[mandysbus]

I think that if a child is in your care (if only for the afternoon) and you feel that uncomfortable with what they are wearing, you are within your rights to ask them to change if they want to go out somewhere with you. She may not be your daughter but everyone you pass at the mall will not know that...she is a temporary reflection on you.

Not to mention that perhaps she needs some instruction on proper dress. I know you all will bash the heck out of me for this but I see many mothers and daughters out and about and the daughters are learning NOTHING good about appropriate dress from the mother.

I see lots of grown women out there that dont know how to dress for their size, shape, age.... If they dont know any better, how are they going to teach their children? I did have some friends in highschool who had enough sense on their own to be embarrased by what their parents wore and did not make the same mistake.

Not every style looks good on every person. One thing may look good on one person and skimpy on another.

 

[mandysbus]

It could also be considered constructive criticizm, how are you gonna know if nobody tells you?

I have a neighbor lady who is probably in her 50's (has 3 grown children and 2 teens), is quite a plus sized lady, has quite a fake-bake tan and washes her car out along the street in a teeny tiny yellow string bikini (and nothing else). I dare one of you to say that that sounds flattering and in good taste. And this is not at the beach, pool or out in the country. we live in town with the Fire Co. club next door and the Police station beside that (the policemen have to stand outside to smoke so they just stand out there and shake their heads).

luckily she has mostly boys and her daughter (who is on the big side, herself) dressing for her figure (quite cute sometimes)

 

[tlbwriter]

It really behooves me that people are offended by what others wear

I don't think "behooves" means what you think it means.

I can understand clothing that has hateful things about race, religion, etc, but I don't understand how someone who you feel is dressed inappropriate or trashy or like slut offends anyone, is being a slut offensive or dressing like one offensive? The way a person dresses is their choice or if they’re kids it’s their parents choice, since when do we have a right to go around and dictate what a person should wear? When do you draw the line

Where I draw the line is when I am responsible for you. If I'm responsible for you, I have the right to require you to follow certain standards. For example, if you're riding in my car, you wear your seatbelt. In this case, the woman was responsible for the child that day, and she had the right (IMHO) to say "whatever you want to wear on your own time is fine, but if you're going out with my family, we have certain rules." There is a huge difference between "ugly" and "inappropriate," so simply disliking Crocs isn't an issue. I would never tell another person's child to change before she went out with us because her clothing was not to my taste. But if I consider it inappropriate for that particular activity, it's my right to set the rules for the outing. Basically, the woman had the right to say "I'm not going to be seen with you in that outfit!"

 

[allison443]

I see from the OP that the mom in question (who was not the OP, by the way ) ended up not taking the girls to the mall. I wonder though, what would have happened if they had gone shopping and the inappropriately-dressed friend was trying to purchase certain clothes. What if the clothes she selected to buy were inappropriate in the mom's opinion? Would she have let the girl purchase inappropriate clothes? She was "in charge" of her that day, as others have posted If she made the friend change from short shorts and a halter, would she have "allowed" the girl to purchase similar items? So perhaps it was better for everyone concerned that the mall shopping trip was cancelled.