Skeptical Guests??

[DIsNeYSweEtHrTs]

I realize this is a pretty common concern when couples get married at Disney, but how did everyone manage the guests who were against the idea of a Disney wedding?? Was it stressful to have to "convince" everyone that it would be beautiful? We haven't told our families yet where we are planning on having the wedding, and I'm dreading telling everyone, because I know the reactions I'll get. I know in my heart that no place else would fit my fiance and I better than to have a wedding at WDW (I'm a true Disney kid - and he absolutely loves it there - he's already begging to go back!) I know that it's our wedding and we should be excited about it no matter what people say, but it's hard. Nobody in the family understands how much or why we love Disney. A few of our relatives who already know our plans think it's not a "real" wedding, or some kind of joke. I know, and i know all of you know how magical and wonderful weddings at WDW are , and I'm not considering anywhere else to have it. Any suggestions on how to break the news??

 

[Luvndisney]

First of all you came to the right place to get advice. I think everyone on this board planning a DFTW has experienced this. We both come from huge Disney loving families and convincing them was tough. However, it was not impossible and you know what? there are still skeptics that are coming to our wedding. They will see the reasoning behind our decision ina few months. Mya dvice to you si stand your ground, right from the beginning. When we told our parents here is what we said - no joke! " We have been thinking of the wedding and setting a date. We ARE getting married in Disney World. We did the research - we love it and its has been a aprt of our lives from the time were were born. We can see it no other way and we hope you can come." At first they were hesitant. they feared the costs, they feared the "realness" of the wedding, but our parents came around. We showed them picures of weddings there and what we could have at our wedding to make it special. I wish you luck. It will be tough but you stand by your decision and make them see what it measn to you. And if people do not come around then they dont come and they miss out on an amazing event.

Good Luck and Pixie Dust

 

[princessblueeyzes]

First of all you came to the right place to get advice. I think everyone on this board planning a DFTW has experienced this. We both come from huge Disney loving families and convincing them was tough. However, it was not impossible and you know what? there are still skeptics that are coming to our wedding. They will see the reasoning behind our decision ina few months. Mya dvice to you si stand your ground, right from the beginning. When we told our parents here is what we said - no joke! " We have been thinking of the wedding and setting a date. We ARE getting married in Disney World. We did the research - we love it and its has been a aprt of our lives from the time were were born. We can see it no other way and we hope you can come." At first they were hesitant. they feared the costs, they feared the "realness" of the wedding, but our parents came around. We showed them picures of weddings there and what we could have at our wedding to make it special. I wish you luck. It will be tough but you stand by your decision and make them see what it measn to you. And if people do not come around then they dont come and they miss out on an amazing event.

Good Luck and Pixie Dust

I would have to agree with Luvndisney. What I did to convince my mom and my side of the family was show them pictures of other weddings at WDW from the link on this fourm Once they saw how beautiful it was there was no problem. DF and I both went to WDW in August of last year and took pictures of the Wedding Pavillion and came back and showed them that too. I also got my mom to go onto the DFTW website and show her how expensive or less expensive it could be compared to a wedding in Las Vegas or where I live. It was cheaper to do a DFTW- intimate than to do an intimate wedding anywhere else. DF's parents and his side are still skeptical about comming and "it's a kid's place and blah, blah, blah." I kindly told them that if that is their true feeling then they don't have to come to the wedding but to let me know so I can replace them on the guestlist with people who actually want to come.

Good luck.

 

[cryssi]

I don't know how your families are, but our families were not surprised at all. DH and I are lifelong Disney freaks, so it was only natural that we had a disney wedding! Everyone really looked forward to it. We are not religious, though, so no one expected a church wedding out of us. That might make a difference.

I guess I don't know what it's like for everyone not to know how much we love disney...lol

 

[DIsNeYSweEtHrTs]

I'm so glad I found this board. I think it would have been very easy for me to back out of a Disney wedding from all the family comments if I hadn't been able to read about all of the wonderful experiences that everyone here has had. The advice on these boards is priceless! You are all so supportive and wonderful!

 

[DIsNeYSweEtHrTs]

I kindly told them that if that is their true feeling then they don't have to come to the wedding but to let me know so I can replace them on the guestlist with people who actually want to come.

Good luck.

That's how I feel! I just didn't know how to say it. But that's perfect!

 

[littleladykaty]

It makes me feel sad that people are so obnoxious about the desire for a Disney wedding! I'm only having my honeymoon there and already I've gotten "That is SO lame...have a REAL honeymoon!" Where on earth do people get off thinking that it's okay to make comments like that! GRRRRR Since my DF and I are doing a cruise to St.Thomas for the second week I've also heard "So your real honeymoon is only a week long..." Wha? Hello, Disney is the first part and the BEST part of the honeymoon and I just want to be very unDisney like and SMACK the ears off of people!

You know how I'd go about "convincing" people to go to my Disney wedding? I'd tell them that if they want to be there for you on your special day while you are living out a dream, then please come...if you want to make fun and hem and haw over the silliness of it all, then SIT ON A TACK and don't come we won't miss you!!!! HMPH! *flounces off in disgust and indignation*

people suck sometimes and are just too hard hearted to let the magic of Disney penetrate their cold and lifeless hearts!!!

 

[DIsNeYSweEtHrTs]

if you want to make fun and hem and haw over the silliness of it all, then SIT ON A TACK and don't come we won't miss you!!!! :

Hahaha! You guys are awesome!

 

[twojo21]

dont worry about what others think, we had a few guests who were skeptical of the disney wedding & traveling far for a wedding. all we did & what most couples can do is invite those we love & send them the info they'll need. we sent save the dates 11 months in advance so our family & friends could plan & decide if they wanted to attend, we sent newsletters & created a wedding website with wedding week info, info about wdw & their resort (we provided rooms) & a general faq newsletter with airline info, etc. almost everyone came from our families & a few close friends (we wanted it small, we had 50 guests). everyone who came had the time of their lives, weve been back for almost 4 weeks & our family & friends cant stop raving about how great disney was, how our wedding was the most awesome/fabolous theyve ever been too, how they had a private viewing of the fireworks, how they cant wait to go back. in the end its your day, you & your fiances happiness is what matters. best of luck!

mrs. twojo21

 

[DisneyDiva74]

I totally sympathize with this problem, since my family has been difficult about the whole Disney thing too. We thought that my family would be very excited, since we are all Disney fanatics, and that we would have to convince DH2B's family, since they've never been. Well, DH2B's family is psyched and mine is being difficult...you just never know!
I'm just going full speed ahead with the idea and hoping that my enthusiasm will help get everyone else on board. I know that once it all happens it will be beautiful and perfect, and I'm just trying to convey that to everyone else, not to mention convincing them that this is for real and we are NOT changing our mind and having a "normal" wedding!

Good luck!

Amanda

 

[ead79]

I know that many of my parents’ friends were skeptical about the idea of a Disney wedding. Most of them were polite enough to keep it to themselves, but I know many were still thinking it. I just ignored it to be honest. Then when they were treated to an Illuminations pre-reception, delicious food, and a beautiful atmosphere, I think they were all convinced.

My parents were initially concerned about the wedding not being in a church, but as Christians we believe that Christ lives in our hearts, so He was right there with us. They thought the wedding was beautiful and wouldn’t have had me do it any other way.

We did get some grief from my MIL about honeymooning there too. We just ignored her. If she wants to get married and honeymoon in Paris, then she can. I’ll just be at WDW.

 

[DIsNeYSweEtHrTs]

My parents were initially concerned about the wedding not being in a church, but as Christians we believe that Christ lives in our hearts, so He was right there with us. They thought the wedding was beautiful and wouldn’t have had me do it any other way.

That's one of the problems we are coming across. My fiance was raised Catholic, but is non-practicing now. His parents and especially his grandmother are extreme Catholics, and are constantly questioning him about which church he plans on getting married in. I totally agree with the idea that Christ is everywhere, and in our hearts, so it shouldn't matter where we get married. I think it's gonna be a tough road, but in the end, the pixie dust will shine through.

 

[starflower]

My fiance is also Catholic and some of his relatives were upset that we weren't having a Catholic wedding. But I'm Jewish and I'm not converting, so even if we were getting married at home we *still* wouldn't be having a Catholic wedding!

Both our parents had no qualms about us getting married at Disney, but we're paying for the wedding ourselves so that might have had something to do with it. I did want to make sure my parents and brother could afford to come before I started booking things, however.

We ran into a little opposition from some other relatives and friends who didn't understand our desire to get married at Disney. We simply stood firm and said that's where we're having it and it's up to them whether they want to come or not. We'll still have a wonderful wedding if the naysayers decide not to show up.

 

[cjb71870]

I don't know how your families are, but our families were not surprised at all. DH and I are lifelong Disney freaks, so it was only natural that we had a disney wedding! Everyone really looked forward to it. We are not religious, though, so no one expected a church wedding out of us. That might make a difference.

I guess I don't know what it's like for everyone not to know how much we love disney...lol

Exactly!! We go on a almost monthly basis since '98. Everyone remarked.where else should they get married. They flew in from NY to WI. And commented, it was they best wedding they had ever been to. We did take everyone to see Illuminations instead of dinner though after rehearsal. That was the best.Just do it, it's your wedding.

 

[janine]

It was like that for us. People were joing about our 'Mickey mouse wedding', but for those that did decide to come with us, they absolutely loved every minute of it.
They said that no other wedding they go to after ours will ever come close to how beautiful ours was.
Trust me your guests will be skeptical unless they are aware of what Disney is capable of, but as soon as they have experienced it, they will be amazed.

 

[disneyheaven]

We all know exactly what you are going through. I think we have all had at least one family member or friend say something negative about our upcoming Disney wedding. I have heard everything from, "So, are you seriously dragging us all to an "amusement park" to get married?!?! (- that one came from the future sister in law, I could have killed her!), or "So, I mean I guess its "cute" that they are getting married in Disney, but when are they going to wake up and realize life is not all a fairytale?" (- coming from a friend of my moms who isnt even coming to the wedding! Hello!!!!! I'm sorry your marriage didnt work out but when you find the right one in your life....every morning you wake up next to them is a fairytale!) and how about this one "Well, it's not going to be a real wedding, I mean it's a Disney wedding..its different" (- from another family member ARGH!! What do you mean its not a real wedding!!!)

It's crazy that people are sooo opinionated about your special day. But I agree with the other posts...you just have to keep your head up and STAY STRONG!! the moment you start to show weakness is when people think they can start changing your mind. My advice: Dig your heals into that darn Disney Mud because it is going to be worth every snicker, every laugh, every sarcastic remark. And I think the ultimate reward? The ultimate reward is when people are leaving your event at the end of the night and think, "Wow, that was the most INCREDIBLE thing I have ever seen!" Good luck sweetie!!!

 

[DIsNeYSweEtHrTs]

Thank you all sooooo much! You are all so wonderful! I'm gonna stick to my guns and make sure my fiance and I get to have the wedding at Disney. I've been to several weddings in my area in the past year or so and I just kept thinking about how that wasn't at all what I wanted - it was so "blah", and each wedding had 300+ people (with overcooked steak for dinner) . I just can't wait to walk in to our wedding and see how incredibly beautiful it is, along with the food!!! (you can't beat Disney food!) . I just want to blow everyone away, but MOST importantly - make my fiance and I happy. I'm sure I will be able to with Disney. Thanks everyone!!

 

[janine]

You know you just hit the nail on the head.
Some of my guests were close to tears whilst watching the illuminations at Epcot during our reception.
I know they must have thought we were mad at first, but I KNOW they changed their opinion at the end of the evening.
Until you have experienced that feeling, you will never understand.

 

[Sunkissed]

Since we are not at the booking stage yet, we are planning out several different scenarios. WDW is "plan a", of course, but a somewhat local venue is "plan b" and I've heard many family members refer to it as "the REAL wedding". Other than that, everyone has pretty much said all there is to say. We're paying and it's our day; if you can't be happy for us, don't come. Its that simple.

 

[disneybride2007]

We had a couple of negative people, too. But, I made it very clear that this was our wedding and we were paying for not only our dream, but their enjoyment, as well, if they wanted to be there. I thought we would have to pick them up off of the floor when I told them, with a very straight face (most people know when I'm that straight, it's serious) let me know if you are not planning to be there or even if you are doubting that you can come because we have a lot of people on our replacement list that would love to take your place. Can you believe one of these people was my mother??? But, she sat up quickly and got on board with me because she knows that I would replace her, if need be. The other was a cousin, but I quickly gave her invite to a friend and made the decision, to be there or not, for her

This is our special day and the only people required to be there are the two of us, our ds and an officiant, everyone else is simply priviledged