Sitting with kids on the plane

[CheshireSmile]

Sure it's their RIGHT. But the rest ... well, you're entitled to your opinion. I think it's incredibly self-centered and inconsiderate & host of other words I won't use here to feel like your seat on an airplane is more important than the security and well-being of a young child. Pretty much regardless of the circumstances. I hate to fly, and because of that I hate getting separated from my DH on a plane. But I'd give up our seats together in a heartbeat in a situation like this. Without hesitation. I can't even imagine putting my own wants first in a case like that. (I'm not talking about separating from their own child, or some kind of disability that makes that seat location better or whatever -- I'm talking about your average Jane/Joe Smith sitting in a seat on an airplane.)

and yes, I realize it's POSSIBLE. But it saddens me to think of regardless.

But how do you know the adult you're asking to move isn't also scared to fly and selected that seat for their own comfort? Their own safety and comfort is important to them, just as it is important to you for your child. I don't think wanting to keep the seat they selected makes them self-centered.

 

[maxiesmom]

Sure it's their RIGHT. But the rest ... well, you're entitled to your opinion. I think it's incredibly self-centered and inconsiderate & host of other words I won't use here to feel like your seat on an airplane is more important than the security and well-being of a young child. Pretty much regardless of the circumstances. I hate to fly, and because of that I hate getting separated from my DH on a plane. But I'd give up our seats together in a heartbeat in a situation like this. Without hesitation. I can't even imagine putting my own wants first in a case like that. (I'm not talking about separating from their own child, or some kind of disability that makes that seat location better or whatever -- I'm talking about your average Jane/Joe Smith sitting in a seat on an airplane.)

and yes, I realize it's POSSIBLE. But it saddens me to think of regardless.

Would you offer to reimbuse someone if you asked them to switch seats? Or do you think someone else should just eat the $15 they paid for their seat for the comfort of your family? This does not reflect on the OP, but I would be darned if I would switch seats with someone who didn't choose to pay for their seats, and just assumed someone else would move to accomodate their family.

 

[Drusilla]

wow. rude much? She's TRYING to prevent the problem, and is asking for help. She's not saying "there's no way in hell I'm paying to pick my seats" -- she was trying to figure out how to fix the issue ahead of time, not show up and DEMAND a change.

You know, I'm all for calling out entitlement when it's warranted, but I don't think this is one of those times. It would be a completely different story if she were just saying "screw it, I know they'll fix it later, I don't care about those people who paid." She is WILLING to pay to fix it, or whatever else she can do.

I also REALLY can't believe people are actually so inconsiderate as to refuse to switch seats to help a family with kids separated from parents. That just boggles my mind. Who would want to sit next to a scared, crying 4 year old rather than simply sitting in a different seat? Unreal. Really makes me sad about how self centered people are these days. Even if the parent *did* make a crappy choice (not that the OP has or will), can't people see past that & just help the innocent KID in the situation?

seriously, unreal.

She DID have an opportunity to avoid this problem by paying to pick her seats when she originally bought the tickets. She didn't do that. She waited until a few weeks before the flight to try to pick her seats and found that there were none together. I just checked my Airtran flight to and from MCO in 2 weeks and there are not two seats together on those flights either. Flights to MCO from most cities are usually full since it is a very popular place to fly to. If I hadn't paid to pick my seats, I wouldn't expect anyone to move around to accomodate me and my family. I made the choice, that seems rather obvious to me when you think about the realities of the situation, to pay the $6 per person to pick seats. She didn't. She has to deal with the realities of her situation that she choose when she bought the tickets. Personal responsibility.

Having paid for my seats, there is no way I would give up one of our seats to fix someone else's problem if they didn't buy their seat assignments when they purchased their tickets. I'm not splitting up my family so someone else's can sit together. I don't think that's inconsiderate at all - I think it's smart on my part to have the foresight to buy our seat assignments so I can guarantee my family will be together on the plane.

 

[SnowandMittens]

Sure it's their RIGHT. But the rest ... well, you're entitled to your opinion. I think it's incredibly self-centered and inconsiderate & host of other words I won't use here to feel like your seat on an airplane is more important than the security and well-being of a young child. Pretty much regardless of the circumstances. I hate to fly, and because of that I hate getting separated from my DH on a plane. But I'd give up our seats together in a heartbeat in a situation like this. Without hesitation. I can't even imagine putting my own wants first in a case like that. (I'm not talking about separating from their own child, or some kind of disability that makes that seat location better or whatever -- I'm talking about your average Jane/Joe Smith sitting in a seat on an airplane.)

and yes, I realize it's POSSIBLE. But it saddens me to think of regardless.

I totally agree that if I was on the plane, I'd separate from my party in a heartbeat to let a child sit next to their adult.

When it comes down to it though, Airtran's polices are stated on the website and the OP made the decision to purchase tickets knowing this. I really hope a pair of seats opens up for her, but if sitting next to her child was so important, she could have booked a different flight.

 

[acpalmer]

I work for an airline- they're not going to seat the young child alone. 20% of the seats are reserved for airport handling, so they will have the flexibility to accomodate requets of people with young kids, and people with disabilites who are seated in restricted areas etc.

Think about it- if you're in 5a and she's in 10c, she's basically an unaccompanied minor. They're not going to allow that . But Drusilla is right- we can override premium seats you can't access online, so try calling. You may be happy you did.

I obviously don't know which airline you work for, but on our flight home from WDW last year, because of a weather delay issue, we had to be bumped to a later flight and they seated my 7 year old on his own and my 5 year old by himself and they weren't even willing to ASK people to move in order to put us 2 and 2. When I began explaining to the lady sitting next to my 5 year old how to deal with his asthma and blood sugar situations, she offered to move but the airline refused to do a thing for us. We were on Delta by the way--NEVER EVER EVER again.

 

[crashbb]

I obviously don't know which airline you work for, but on our flight home from WDW last year, because of a weather delay issue, we had to be bumped to a later flight and they seated my 7 year old on his own and my 5 year old by himself and they weren't even willing to ASK people to move in order to put us 2 and 2. When I began explaining to the lady sitting next to my 5 year old how to deal with his asthma and blood sugar situations, she offered to move but the airline refused to do a thing for us. We were on Delta by the way--NEVER EVER EVER again.

Did you ask her to move first? Or just start by being passive-aggressive? And yes, I consider starting to give detailed "care" instructions to another passenger without asking them (or others) if they might mind moving to be passive-aggressive. It is right up there with telling the other passenger that your child will cry and/or throw up all over them.

I do agree that I've never seen an airline that would refust to allow a parent to sit separately from their child. I've seen gate agents and flight crew try to help parents (though if you leave it until you are on the plane, it is much, much more difficult), but never seen them force it (except for children in carseats).

Having flown as an UM from the day after my fifth birthday, I don't see the big deal for a child to sit apart from their parents, but fully support a parent's right to decide that it isn't right for their family. I have provided a list of steps that should help reduce the chances of this happening (without foisting the problem onto other passengers).

 

[princessbride6205]

We've had good luck getting the passengers on the plane to switch with us for an equally desirable seat. We have a 2 year old and fly relatively often. We always check in right at the 24 hour mark online. We fly Northwest (now Delta) and are always told when we call ahead as well as the gate agents that they won't help us. It's up to us to ask on the plane. People sometimes are annoyed that we ask to switch, but they'd rather switch than sit with a 2-year old.
I don't think that because I have a toddler I should be expected to shell out $15-25 extra per seat to *possibly* get us together ahead of time. Sometimes even premium seats are not left near each other. I'm not entitled to a premium seat, but I think 2 together should be guaranteed. It's not optional that she sit next to one of us - I would say that 4 and under can't sit by themselves. She can't work her own seatbelt for goodness sakes!
Okay back to main topic (passenger's bill of rights aside) - other advice here was good: call ahead, check in online as early as possible, ask at the gate (don't expect help), and ask other passengers to switch. Good luck!

 

[skip323]

. Like it or not, though, the bottom line is the airlines are getting ridiculous. People are paying significantly more to fly these days and getting significantly less in return. It used to be that flying was the best way to go and you were treated well...whether in first class or coach. Now I have seen better treatment on a bus! When I made flight arrangements this summer on Airtran and found out that my family could not be seated together unless I paid MORE???? I was in shock and did not, at first, pay. It had nothing to do with RESPONSIBILITY and everything to do with being an average person trying to afford my family the opportunity to take a vacation every once and awhile and then being nickeled and dimed to death over things that used to be considered just plain old customary....and I worked for the airlines (not airtran) for years and still have lots of friends that do. Sorry! They are gouging people just trying to make it happen. I did end up going back and paying for seats and we were lucky! But I cannot blame OP and call them lacking in responsibility because they have to take a minute to figure out what the heck has happened that allows these organizations to squeeze the life out of their customers! We just got tix for the holidays and there is not an option to pay for seats and, guess what?, there are no seats together. That is a crock and has a lot less to do with what I would like and a lot more to do with the fact that if something happens on that flight I want to be next to my kids. I am the person, in having my kids, that is supposed to protect them...not some stranger sitting by them. How do I know that person isn't the biggest pedophile this side of the Pacific and they are by my kid and I can't see anything? that is crazy. If there is a problem with the oxygen will they make certain my child is taken care of? Will a flight attendant? Ridiculous. And yes, we all have the option of choosing not to take a flight but, in my holiday circumstances, there aren't many flights to that small airport and the travel agent just kept saying that the airlines had blocked all of the seats together and she didn't know why. So a choice has to be made...in this case I chose for myself and my kids to each be in a different row so that I can see family I haven't seen in two years...my choice, yes, but it is still a crock.

To the OP I wish you luck!! I used to love flying and now I just hate it.

 

[Hannathy]

I totally agree that if I was on the plane, I'd separate from my party in a heartbeat to let a child sit next to their adult.

When it comes down to it though, Airtran's polices are stated on the website and the OP made the decision to purchase tickets knowing this. I really hope a pair of seats opens up for her, but if sitting next to her child was so important, she could have booked a different flight.

Well I hope you are called rude also! Because you have said exactly what I said, Thank You. It is up to us to take responsibility to get what we need not depend on others.

 

[acpalmer]

Did you ask her to move first? Or just start by being passive-aggressive? And yes, I consider starting to give detailed "care" instructions to another passenger without asking them (or others) if they might mind moving to be passive-aggressive. It is right up there with telling the other passenger that your child will cry and/or throw up all over them.

Yep, asked nicely and politely if she would be willing to trade seats with me (I had been assigned an aisle seat near the front, she was in a middle seat closer to the back). I asked the person across the aisle from my child (he was in an aisle), I asked the person in the window so that I could at least be in the same row, I asked several people around me, I was kind and polite and finally when no one would move (and the flight attendants told me I was no longer allowed to ask anyone to move), I explained to the lady next to my son that although he can normally manage his asthma meds, if he had a drastic attack, he would likely need adult help and since she was the one next to him, I would appreciate if she would learn how to use his inhaler with him and that he is prone to blood sugar crashes and she also might want to be aware of that, as he can faint due to it. At that point she said "oh, if you actually want to be with him, then I'll move". I'm not sure why you would assume that I hadn't started by simply asking, I never said that was how I started the conversation. Just wanted to point out that not only do airlines allow children to sit alone, even when asked to help, they seem to actively encourage it by refusing to help.

Editing to add that we had paid for seats together and weather circumstances ended up separating us, not any choice I had made.

 

[livndisney]

This thread reminds me of the international flight were due to an "error" they had DD (who was 4 at the time), not only not sitting anywhere near me...... but on a different FLIGHT!

In hindsight, I would not have minded her flying on a different plane It was a LONG flight LOL.

 

[NHdisneylover]

Sure it's their RIGHT. But the rest ... well, you're entitled to your opinion. I think it's incredibly self-centered and inconsiderate & host of other words I won't use here to feel like your seat on an airplane is more important than the security and well-being of a young child. Pretty much regardless of the circumstances. I hate to fly, and because of that I hate getting separated from my DH on a plane. But I'd give up our seats together in a heartbeat in a situation like this. Without hesitation. I can't even imagine putting my own wants first in a case like that. (I'm not talking about separating from their own child, or some kind of disability that makes that seat location better or whatever -- I'm talking about your average Jane/Joe Smith sitting in a seat on an airplane.)

and yes, I realize it's POSSIBLE. But it saddens me to think of regardless.

Well it happens One issue, I think is that many people feel the parents did not plan/pay/etc to not have the situation occur (and that is the case sometimes). Another issue is that more and mroe parents feel they HAVE to sit with older and older kids (I have been asked to move so someone could sit next to their teenager more than once!--both times I was within a row of my own much younger kids who already did not have me with them and I refused explaining that I wanted to stay within visual range of my own little kids but I didn't really have to explain myself and once the person got huffy with me and told me if they were okay in a row apart they should be okay half a plane apart--my kids were 3 and 5 at the time--her "kid" was taller than she was)

I obviously don't know which airline you work for, but on our flight home from WDW last year, because of a weather delay issue, we had to be bumped to a later flight and they seated my 7 year old on his own and my 5 year old by himself and they weren't even willing to ASK people to move in order to put us 2 and 2. When I began explaining to the lady sitting next to my 5 year old how to deal with his asthma and blood sugar situations, she offered to move but the airline refused to do a thing for us. We were on Delta by the way--NEVER EVER EVER again.

Yep, asked nicely and politely if she would be willing to trade seats with me (I had been assigned an aisle seat near the front, she was in a middle seat closer to the back). I asked the person across the aisle from my child (he was in an aisle), I asked the person in the window so that I could at least be in the same row, I asked several people around me, I was kind and polite and finally when no one would move (and the flight attendants told me I was no longer allowed to ask anyone to move), I explained to the lady next to my son that although he can normally manage his asthma meds, if he had a drastic attack, he would likely need adult help and since she was the one next to him, I would appreciate if she would learn how to use his inhaler with him and that he is prone to blood sugar crashes and she also might want to be aware of that, as he can faint due to it. At that point she said "oh, if you actually want to be with him, then I'll move". I'm not sure why you would assume that I hadn't started by simply asking, I never said that was how I started the conversation. Just wanted to point out that not only do airlines allow children to sit alone, even when asked to help, they seem to actively encourage it by refusing to help.

Editing to add that we had paid for seats together and weather circumstances ended up separating us, not any choice I had made.

Why didn't you just tell her where you would be seated and not to hesitate to come get you if he had any probelms? That's what I do when I sit apart from my children on planes (as well as checking on them when the seat belt sign is off). And yes, my DS has asthma too. I know it can be very scary at times, but if I stayed at his elbow all the time "just in case" then he would not have much of a life would he? I think it is rude the way you foisted your child's health problems onto the lady in order to get her to give up her seat after she turned your request down. If you truly do not feel your child can safely sit in another part of the plane and let you know if an emergency arises (what does he do if his asthma or blood sugar acts up while he is alone in his room at home?) then you should have deplaned and waited for another flight.

Circumstances have seperated us too. It happens when you fly a lot. Maybe we could have sat together more often if I felt entilted to make a stink about it--but hoenstly my kdis generally have nmo more right to an airplain seat than any one else does. The ONLY time I have really made an issue of it was when we were rebooked onto a full fligth in October 2001 after my son fell at the airport and had to go get 5 staples in his head before we could fly home. Since we were moved last minute we were in 4 middle seats scattered all over the plane. The line of people at the podium asking to sit together was at least 20 deep (and many of those people had kids in the 10 and up crowd). When I finally got up from carrying my bandaged 2 year old with blood stains all over my shirt and the hospital paperwork and explained that they cleared us to fly but I really needed to be WITH the 2 year old, the gate agent looked distressed but kept reiterating the same line about having no ability to do anything. A wonderful couple sitting near the desk heard/saw me and offered their seats to me. My four year old still had to sit alone on that flight (the third person in our row did not want to change to a middle seat way in the back--I don't blame them). I really felt for her because I knew she was scared and worreid about her brother, plus this was very soon after 9/11; but she handled it.

 

[scuba]

I read another poster reply that we are increasingly being asked to pay more for less, however I would almost certainly disagree, over 10 years ago and without children I remember my wife and I traveling on a whim when we would fine airfare sub $200.00, that was 10 years ago. I purchased airfare on Delta from Cincy to Orlando for $189.00 per person.....It's true, bags are extra and we have just learned to fly lighter, but seriously every industry has had to do more with less. I'm certainly not a defender of the airlines, however I feel that flights i've books have increased very little from over 10 years ago. September we flew from Cincy to Orlando and had my wife and 2 dhildren in the back of the plane, and I was seated in the front.....we arrived very early at the counter and had very little problems changing seats on a very full plane, I suppose it could have gone the other way, but we would have overcome. I was told that most? airlines block off seats 1 hour before departure for such a problem, certainly if they were less than helpful, and your kids acted out, I would simply march over to where my kids were seated and inform the folks seated next to them that the airlines were responsible for this....good luck

 

[honugirl]

Please do not assume that because I may not move for you and your family that I am being rude. I choose my seats based on my health issues. I am not supposed to sit anywhere but the aisle because I need to get up and walk frequently and this is the only way I can do it without disturbing a number of people. Yes, I generally do shell out money ahead of time to make sure that I get the accomodations I need. I do not expect the airlines to give it to me for free.

I think this is a lesson learned to the OP that sometimes you have to pony up the dough to make sure you don't get split up when you book your tickets. I think the best option now is to call the airline every day until they can find seats to accomodate you. People cancel every day. If they can't find you seats before the flight, keep asking customer service, even at the airport. Hopefully they can figure something out.

I hope you have a great vacation!

 

[skip323]

I read another poster reply that we are increasingly being asked to pay more for less, however I would almost certainly disagree, over 10 years ago and without children I remember my wife and I traveling on a whim when we would fine airfare sub $200.00, that was 10 years ago. I purchased airfare on Delta from Cincy to Orlando for $189.00 per person.....It's true, bags are extra and we have just learned to fly lighter, but seriously every industry has had to do more with less. I'm certainly not a defender of the airlines, however I feel that flights i've books have increased very little from over 10 years ago.

Well....it may just be the airline or where one is flying from...or to, but my flights have gone up...say for my holiday travel, by more than $600 for my family. That is the same place we have always gone and same time of year. in the past eight years. In the mean time, you have to practically pay to get up and use the toilet...ok, not that, but you pay for a snack on some airlines pay for a drink, pay to store luggage. And many have learned to travel light but the flight attendants have been good and angry (them talking, not me) because so many people bring on their 21 or 22 inch suitcases now that the flights are getting off to late starts because there is not enough room (a mess created by the airlines..not the people...and not southwest)! Add on to it people not being seated with their families and people on generally nice boards such as this getting kind of nasty with each other....around the holidays of all things...and what you have is airlines getting stingy and lacking in the the goold ol' holiday spirit!!!

 

[RMulieri]

Please do not assume that because I may not move for you and your family that I am being rude. I choose my seats based on my health issues. I am not supposed to sit anywhere but the aisle because I need to get up and walk frequently and this is the only way I can do it without disturbing a number of people. Yes, I generally do shell out money ahead of time to make sure that I get the accomodations I need. I do not expect the airlines to give it to me for free.

I think this is a lesson learned to the OP that sometimes you have to pony up the dough to make sure you don't get split up when you book your tickets. I think the best option now is to call the airline every day until they can find seats to accomodate you. People cancel every day. If they can't find you seats before the flight, keep asking customer service, even at the airport. Hopefully they can figure something out.

I hope you have a great vacation!

I agree.But on the same token, Don't assume that I am a cheap Penny pinching parent that didn't have the foresight to pay for seats ahead of time.Sometimes the airlines separate families even when they pay.Airtran has been notorious for separating families that HAVE PURCHASED advance seating.I fly enough and have seen it repeatedly.I booked my flights in June for my Dec 12-18th trip to WDW.I paid for our seats together.If I find that somehow between me checking the flight at home the night before and getting to the airport the next morning ,that my 5 yr old ( who has only flown once before) is not near me or DH and was split from us, I will be very very UPSET.

 

[seashoreCM]

Why didn't you just tell her where you would be seated and not to hesitate to come get you if he had any probelms? That's what I do when I sit apart from my children on planes (as well as checking on them when the seat belt sign is off). .

Excellent idea, especially the last part. And you don't have to even ask anyone about switching seats.

 

[crashbb]

Excellent idea, especially the last part. And you don't have to even ask anyone about switching seats.

No, she didn't HAVE to ask anyone about changing seats, but (as long as it is done acknowledging that you are asking for a favour), I don't see the problem with asking. Especially in this case where the PP was offering an aisle seat closer to the front for a middle seat.

I know that some people feel that even asking puts other passengers in an awkward position, but I'm okay with saying "no" if the move doesn't work for me (I've been asked a few times - sometimes I move, sometimes I don't).

 

[maxiesmom]

No, she didn't HAVE to ask anyone about changing seats, but (as long as it is done acknowledging that you are asking for a favour), I don't see the problem with asking. Especially in this case where the PP was offering an aisle seat closer to the front for a middle seat.

I know that some people feel that even asking puts other passengers in an awkward position, but I'm okay with saying "no" if the move doesn't work for me (I've been asked a few times - sometimes I move, sometimes I don't).

But then what do you do when the person asking refuses to take "No" for an answer, like the earlier poster?

 

[crashbb]

But then what do you do when the person asking refuses to take "No" for an answer, like the earlier poster?

Either call the flight attendant or put on my noise canceling headphones and ignore the parent/child.

I've only had to resort to that once. I called the FA and the FA sided with me. The child in question, by the way, was at least 10-12 (and taller than I was/am). No known developmental problems (I am *sure* that the parent would have mentioned them if there were any).