Sister Wives

[Brit17]

What was with the ceremony of burning the duffle bag? I mean he is still gonna have to travel from house to house, just like before only now he can walk between houses instead of having to drive.

Why didn't he just leave stuff at each house so when he "visits" he has it and doesn't need a "bag"

I have to admit when they had their little "symbolic" duffle bag burning I thought to myself, hmm, looked like a pretty decent duffle bag that maybe one of the others in their huge brood could have used for something ... Guess they just have money to also "burn" now for a new one ... Just sayin' ...

 

[Conservative Hippie]

What was with the ceremony of burning the duffle bag? I mean he is still gonna have to travel from house to house, just like before only now he can walk between houses instead of having to drive.

Why didn't he just leave stuff at each house so when he "visits" he has it and doesn't need a "bag"

Exactly! My mom comes to visit once a month an has toiletries and a nightgown that live here so she only has to bring a small bag!

Sent from me.

 

[kate_wdw]

The Meri/Kody conversation was so odd. I wish I knew how much of the oddness was due to 1) editing, 2) their weird relationship dynamic, and/or 3) the fact that this may be a plot point rather than an actual issue in their relationship.

Except for the fact that he didn't follow up his opinion by checking in to see what she was thinking, I really don't fault Kody's behavior in last night's conversation. I agree that it makes no sense to undertake invasive, expensive fertility treatments unless you know that you want another baby. If the viewers are sick of her dramatics about whether or not to try to have a baby, I can only imagine how much worse it is for Kody/the family. If Meri really wanted another baby, she should have said so. To tell Robyn but not Kody was passive-aggressive, divisive and (possibly) playing the victim.

Their burning the duffel bag annoyed the heck out of me. You're telling me no one in their family had use for it? Also, stop complaining about money if you're going to burn perfectly good stuff. So dumb. Janelle's reaction to the duffel bag thing (something along the lines of "I've never thought about the duffel bag") is reason 1,342 why she's my favorite.

 

[LiLIrishChick63]

I don't know if it were the editing or if I just were not paying close attention to Kody when he was speaking (I do tend to drift when he speaks ), but during that entire scene I was like, whaaat?! ... So he would have a baby with Meri if it happens naturally, however, he doesn't want to do IVF because it's not in God's plan? ... But it's Meri's body and it's her decision and he will support the baby "as much as he can" but he's not supporting the IVF? ... But let them sleep on the decision some more? ... WTH? ... I think Meri was just as confused and/or heartbroken as well ... But did she really not know his feelings/decision before they filmed that scene together? ... I can't imagine being blindsided like that in front of tv cameras, no less ...

And then when Meri told Robyn that she was really ready to say YES to the IVF and Kody said NO, I really felt sad for her and think she really didn't know he was going to say NO ... All I can say is that Kody is a real keeper, isn't he?

her reaction seemed legit so i'm wondering if they really did wait to talk about it until the cameras were rolling? either way it's still messed up that he did that to her. i thought they tried before? so it was ok to try before, but not now? idk i'm just so disgusted with him, and the fact that she didn't even flinch at it and say anything back to him....it really goes to show that no matter what anyone thinks...there is still SOME type of brainwashing going on there. any other woman would have told him "well it's MY body and MY choice so we're doing this"

What was with the ceremony of burning the duffle bag? I mean he is still gonna have to travel from house to house, just like before only now he can walk between houses instead of having to drive.

Why didn't he just leave stuff at each house so when he "visits" he has it and doesn't need a "bag"

i thought the same thing! why not just leave things at each house?? they get so dramatic about things sometimes...

 

[LiLIrishChick63]

The Meri/Kody conversation was so odd. I wish I knew how much of the oddness was due to 1) editing, 2) their weird relationship dynamic, and/or 3) the fact that this may be a plot point rather than an actual issue in their relationship.

Except for the fact that he didn't follow up his opinion by checking in to see what she was thinking, I really don't fault Kody's behavior in last night's conversation. I agree that it makes no sense to undertake invasive, expensive fertility treatments unless you know that you want another baby. If the viewers are sick of her dramatics about whether or not to try to have a baby, I can only imagine how much worse it is for Kody/the family. If Meri really wanted another baby, she should have said so. To tell Robyn but not Kody was passive-aggressive, divisive and (possibly) playing the victim.

Their burning the duffel bag annoyed the heck out of me. You're telling me no one in their family had use for it? Also, stop complaining about money if you're going to burn perfectly good stuff. So dumb. Janelle's reaction to the duffel bag thing (something along the lines of "I've never thought about the duffel bag") is reason 1,342 why she's my favorite.

we don't really know tho how these relationships REALLY work. we know what they show for tv, but you know there's other things going on behind the scenes. i'm beginning to think it's more of a "i'm the man and you must do what i say without arguing" and that's why she didn't tell him how she really felt.

 

[lucas]

i thought the same thing! why not just leave things at each house?? they get so dramatic about things sometimes...

And, now the running between houses. What a guy.

 

[kate_wdw]

we don't really know tho how these relationships REALLY work. we know what they show for tv, but you know there's other things going on behind the scenes. i'm beginning to think it's more of a "i'm the man and you must do what i say without arguing" and that's why she didn't tell him how she really felt.

It's possible (and the marriages are certainly more "traditional" than I would want) but it's not the first conclusion I'd come to. Kody brought up the possibility of fertility tx at an anniversary dinner at least two seasons ago and she reacted really negatively (though admittedly, he acted like a real *** at that dinner). Robyn gave her another option for having a baby. Hemming and hawing endlessly about it for years doesn't make her seem like she's dying to have a baby. Plus, she's admitted that she seems to be mixing up her feelings about Mariah leaving with her feelings about having a new baby.

I don't think it makes him domineering to try to put an end to her indecisiveness. Plus, I thought the way he phrased it was more "let's go with 'no' and see how that feels" as opposed to "the answer is no." That's a perfectly reasonable strategy if someone can't make a decision: make a decision and see how you feel about it. If you react negatively, that tells you, you made the wrong decision. In my book, that's preferable to agonizing endlessly and never making a decision.

Plus, we know that Meri is capable of standing up for herself. Look at the stand that she took for her friggin' wet bar. If she really wanted a baby, I think she would have mustered up a little bit more passion/excitement/fight.

 

[ronandannette]

her reaction seemed legit so i'm wondering if they really did wait to talk about it until the cameras were rolling? either way it's still messed up that he did that to her. i thought they tried before? so it was ok to try before, but not now? idk i'm just so disgusted with him, and the fact that she didn't even flinch at it and say anything back to him....it really goes to show that no matter what anyone thinks...there is still SOME type of brainwashing going on there. any other woman would have told him "well it's MY body and MY choice so we're doing this"



i thought the same thing! why not just leave things at each house?? they get so dramatic about things sometimes...

Really? All wives just tell their husbands that they're moving forward with an addition to the family, like it or lump it? I don't think so. Having a child is something a couple (plural marriage or not) really need to be in accord on. Lots of couples have gone through not being on the same page - an ambush baby is not the answer; more time and consideration on both their parts is and that is apparently what they agreed on. Now if the issue was him trying to insist through some strange polygamous patriarchal prerogative that she do IVF against her will I could more get behind your outrage, but not as it stands now.

 

[Pembo]

Where does Kody keep his toothbrush? I'm assuming that duffel bag held his personal care stuff so if they all live close to each other, does he have one home base where he keeps all his stuff? Does he have stuff at every house?
If you think about it, he really doesn't have one home. Living on the move would kind of suck...
The whole thing with Meri was just weird. She did seem okay with his decision and then went bawling to Robin. Odd....

 

[willowsnn3]

I always wondered why he didn't just have an xtra pack of underwear, toiletries & a couple outfits at each home.
As for the baby stuff....I don't think Meri was that disappointed. She didn't want another baby anyway. Maybe she should just be the house mother for all the kids & let the other wives get jobs outside the home. Or maybe, just maybe she could get a full time job to help with their finances.

 

[mom2rtk]

Really? All wives just tell their husbands that they're moving forward with an addition to the family, like it or lump it? I don't think so. Having a child is something a couple (plural marriage or not) really need to be in accord on. Lots of couples have gone through not being on the same page - an ambush baby is not the answer; more time and consideration on both their parts is and that is apparently what they agreed on. Now if the issue was him trying to insist through some strange polygamous patriarchal prerogative that she do IVF against her will I could more get behind your outrage, but not as it stands now.

While I tend to agree with this, I don't buy that line of thinking in this situation. Whether to add one more child into this brood doesn't seem to be the same sort of issue that it would be in a traditional family. So applying traditional thinking seems out of place. What is the "right" approach to this when the odds are said husband is probably on the verge of fathering another child with someone else?

 

[LiLIrishChick63]

Really? All wives just tell their husbands that they're moving forward with an addition to the family, like it or lump it? I don't think so. Having a child is something a couple (plural marriage or not) really need to be in accord on. Lots of couples have gone through not being on the same page - an ambush baby is not the answer; more time and consideration on both their parts is and that is apparently what they agreed on. Now if the issue was him trying to insist through some strange polygamous patriarchal prerogative that she do IVF against her will I could more get behind your outrage, but not as it stands now.

If he can make the decision to have more children without the say of his wives, then yeah....I think she has the same right.

Do you honestly think he goes and asks all the wives if its ok that HE have another child? Doubt it.

 

[kate_wdw]

While I tend to agree with this, I don't buy that line of thinking in this situation. Whether to add one more child into this brood doesn't seem to be the same sort of issue that it would be in a traditional family. So applying traditional thinking seems out of place. What is the "right" approach to this when the odds are said husband is probably on the verge of fathering another child with someone else?

Though at the same time, we're also talking about a child that would cost tens of thousands of dollars to conceive in a family that already has 17 kids to support. I'm not saying that Meri shouldn't try to have a baby for that reason alone, just that it doesn't make sense (to me) to lay out that kind of money and to embark on the emotional roller coaster that is fertility treatment unless you really want to have a baby.

 

[ronandannette]

If he can make the decision to have more children without the say of his wives, then yeah....I think she has the same right.

Do you honestly think he goes and asks all the wives if its ok that HE have another child? Doubt it.

No, but I believe he asked the one he's inseminating at the time...they've never implied that these were group decisions, hence the big "announcement" to the rest of them (wives included) when Robyn was expecting. They have also never mentioned having taken a vote on Janelle's and Christine's decisions not to have any more children.

 

[LiLIrishChick63]

No, but I believe he asked the one he's inseminating at the time...they've never implied that these were group decisions, hence the big "announcement" to the rest of them (wives included) when Robyn was expecting. They have also never mentioned having taken a vote on Janelle's and Christine's decisions not to have any more children.

who's to say he "asked" anyone, to be honest? having children is EXPECTED of them. hence why Meri feels the way she does. she feels inadequate because she can't have any more children with a man who basically makes it his life's work to have as many children as possible.

i mean, Meri can be irritating at times for sure but in this situation i feel really bad for her. for years she's felt bad about not having kids, she finally makes a decision because she knows he wants more kids, then he shoots it down and basically says if they DO go thru with it he doesn't want anything to do with raising the kid.

 

[LiLIrishChick63]

Though at the same time, we're also talking about a child that would cost tens of thousands of dollars to conceive in a family that already has 17 kids to support. I'm not saying that Meri shouldn't try to have a baby for that reason alone, just that it doesn't make sense (to me) to lay out that kind of money and to embark on the emotional roller coaster that is fertility treatment unless you really want to have a baby.

what i'm getting out of the entire situation is that Meri knew Kody wanted more kids and he pressured her so much about it that she finally broke down and agreed to do it....only to get shot down and told he'd have nothing to do with raising the baby.

 

[KiKi Mouse]

what i'm getting out of the entire situation is that Meri knew Kody wanted more kids and he pressured her so much about it that she finally broke down and agreed to do it....only to get shot down and told he'd have nothing to do with raising the baby.

Does Kody have much to do with raising any of his kids?

 

[mom2rtk]

Does Kody have much to do with raising any of his kids?

Well, he does like to gather them together and let his wishes be known. But day to day? Nah.

He used to make a pretense of going to work every day. Is that totally gone now?

I was just disgusted when they were putting down the deposits on all those homes. And each wife talked about needing to cut back on this or that to make it happen. Of course, he didn't have to go through any of that angst. It just felt to me like he was there to push them buy the homes and make homes for his copious number of kids.

 

[Bungle]

Though at the same time, we're also talking about a child that would cost tens of thousands of dollars to conceive in a family that already has 17 kids to support. I'm not saying that Meri shouldn't try to have a baby for that reason alone, just that it doesn't make sense (to me) to lay out that kind of money and to embark on the emotional roller coaster that is fertility treatment unless you really want to have a baby.

Totally agree with this.

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

who's to say he "asked" anyone, to be honest? having children is EXPECTED of them. hence why Meri feels the way she does. she feels inadequate because she can't have any more children with a man who basically makes it his life's work to have as many children as possible.

I must be watching a different show or living a different life. When Meri and Kody decided to marry, I'm sure they went into it with the same perceptions of what their lives would be, and that included having children. I don't think Meri wanted to have several children because it was "expected" of her, anymore than I did. It was what DH and I wanted, together as a couple. Had I not been able to have more children, I...for me and for the life DH and I expected to have...would be heartbroken (although, we would have long ago adopted). And right or wrong, I might have felt inadequate...I did after a couple of miscarriages, when friends were having children so easily, it seemed, and in the emotions of it all.

Kody has made it "his life's work to have as many children as possible"?? Wow. Who knew.