Sister Wives

[barkley]

Meri just feels more pathetic every week. I so hope that she is acting and playing a role to stay on the show. If she’s truly that desperate for a man who only gave her crumbs then she needs to get some professional help. On the other hand, her low self esteem and desperation to be valued likely led to the catfishing. Get help Meri! You deserve so much more.

i think she truly believes in the faith she married under that says her marriage is eternal. she strikes me as someone who will forever see anything she has to go through/go without with kody as the punishment she deserves for her part in the catfishing situation. i think whereas both christine and janelle have both adult sons and daughters who would be entirely supportive of their mom, feeling neglected or mistreated by kody-moving on and leaving the relationship, meri does not. her relationship with her one daughter has been strained at best at times and i.m.ho.-it's only by virtue of the her daughter's fiance audrey that there is any functional relationship now (audrey has done a world of work in making meri's daughter a much less angry and hostile person in recent seasons).

 

[CdnCarrie]

I have read in more than one place that this estrangement between Kody and Meri is all made up for ratings.

I can see that as they do need story lines to keep the contract .

 

[wenrob]

Assuming she is being genuine, I have this very annoying character trait. It causes crap and I hope to completely shed it one day.

To be honest I think she was just THAT scared of Covid and even though logically Meri was the safest person to be around being around anyone other than the people in her home probably influenced her. While I have no doubt she was the architect of that crazy list I have empathy for her on that. This pandemic has done a lot of us in both mentally and emotionally. That seemed to be the easiest out and I’m sure on some level she did feel that way. Everyone loves to drag on Robyn but I think she’s motivated by trying to make Kody happy. He uses that to his advantage so that she is the bad guy. I’ve said before I got the idea her previous relationship was abusive and I think a lot of this is an extension of that.

i think she truly believes in the faith she married under that says her marriage is eternal. she strikes me as someone who will forever see anything she has to go through/go without with kody as the punishment she deserves for her part in the catfishing situation. i think whereas both christine and janelle have both adult sons and daughters who would be entirely supportive of their mom, feeling neglected or mistreated by kody-moving on and leaving the relationship, meri does not. her relationship with her one daughter has been strained at best at times and i.m.ho.-it's only by virtue of the her daughter's fiance audrey that there is any functional relationship now (audrey has done a world of work in making meri's daughter a much less angry and hostile person in recent seasons).

This. She may have gone astray but at her core she still believes in what she’s living. That doesn’t get turned off because you made mistakes or your husband is a butthead. Kody is now the one breaking HIS vows. She’s basically a slave to the marriage. If HE believes in their faith then he has to believe he’ll be held accountable in the end for how he has tossed her aside.

 

[lisaviolet]

To be honest I think she was just THAT scared of Covid and even though logically Meri was the safest person to be around being around anyone other than the people in her home probably influenced her. While I have no doubt she was the architect of that crazy list I have empathy for her on that. This pandemic has done a lot of us in both mentally and emotionally. That seemed to be the easiest out and I’m sure on some level she did feel that way. Everyone loves to drag on Robyn but I think she’s motivated by trying to make Kody happy. He uses that to his advantage so that she is the bad guy. I’ve said before I got the idea her previous relationship was abusive and I think a lot of this is an extension of that.

I was actually owning up that I am like Robyn in this one area.

I meant that she was thinking about the how the entire group would feel about Meri coming over, when no one had the rules at hand.

In the end, Christine and Janelle both said they were surprised it all was not already happening. The fact is no one really knows how they - Christine and Janelle - would have reacted in the moment.

All Robyn had to do was simply say, if SHE wanted to be open and fair in her mind, is I am going to have Meri come see the kids ( as remember they are not us, they are one big family) because she goes nowhere and has no one in her house. Done.

In the end nobody cared. And time was wasted.

I would love do-overs for times I have tried to be fair to - and protect - everyone but ended up in a no-win mess that only added a lost situation or others' feelings hurt anyway. Or selfishly me paying for trying to protect others.

Sometimes it has been severe situations you can not get back.

I feel for Robyn thinking like that - it is exhausting in both intimate and completely mundane moments.

 

[lisaviolet]

Everyone loves to drag on Robyn but I think she’s motivated by trying to make Kody happy.

I understand that too, as I have made mistakes doing that as well.

But you have to think beyond making someone happy and have common sense.

If Robyn had not agreed to the strict rules for the entire family and told Kody they were overboard for all of them as one family, this mess never would have happened.

She was the key. If communication was open and it was clear it would not work for all, and all his wives explained that to him, I believe he would have heard it. It is impossible not to hear all of them. iI am no fan of Kody but he has moments of clarity at times.

Robyn blindly agreeing without thinking beyond her part of the family was the nail in the coffin. A la Robyn is doing it, why can't you?

 

[wenrob]

I was actually owning up that I am like Robyn in this one area.

I meant that she was thinking about the how the entire group would feel about Meri coming over, when no one had the rules at hand.

In the end, Christine and Janelle both said they were surprised it all was not already happening. The fact is no one really knows how they - Christine and Janelle - would have reacted in the moment.

All Robyn had to do was simply say, if SHE wanted to be open and fair in her mind, is I am going to have Meri come see the kids ( as remember they are not us, they are one big family) because she goes nowhere and has no one in her house. Done.

In the end nobody cared. And time was wasted.

I would love do-overs for times I have tried to be fair to - and protect - everyone but ended up in a no-win mess that only added a lost situation or others' feelings hurt anyway. Or selfishly me paying for trying to protect others.

Sometimes it has been severe situations you can not get back.

I feel for Robyn thinking like that - it is exhausting in both intimate and completely mundane moments.

Oh no, no,no, I was agreeing with you! I just went deeper into to where I think it stems from. I have done the same as far as trying to make everyone happy and getting myself hurt for my trouble. I’m sorry my tone wasn’t clearer.

 

[wenrob]

I understand that too, as I have made mistakes doing that as well.

But you have to think beyond making someone happy and have common sense.

If Robyn had not agreed to the strict rules for the entire family and told Kody they were overboard for all of them as one family, this mess never would have happened.

She was the key. If communication was open and it was clear it would not work for all, and all his wives explained that to him, I believe he would have heard it. It is impossible not to hear all of them. iI am no fan of Kody but he has moments of clarity at times.

Robyn blindly agreeing without thinking beyond her part of the family was the nail in the coffin. A la Robyn is doing it, why can't you?

I mean, yes and no. That’s what I was trying to get at in my earlier post. She’s scared of the virus and she was raised not to defy or question the man of the household. Add her ex was not good to her and it’s the perfect storm to just cave. And probably easier. Honestly, they ALL failed in this. They stopped operating as a family before Covid. Now everyone wants what they want and the rest can just fend for themselves. The loathing just pours off of all of them the last few episodes.

 

[lisaviolet]

They stopped operating as a family before Covid. Now everyone wants what they want and the rest can just fend for themselves. The loathing just pours off of all of them the last few episodes.

Yes. It does.

--------

Not as much with Christine in my eyes, as I personally think she had a plan for quite a bit. So it is a bit more relaxing for her, knowing she is already checked out.

 

[lisaviolet]

She was raised not to defy or question the man of the household.

But here's the thing wenrob with Robyn, she has in other areas. That is what I find frustrating in her.

 

[lisaviolet]

Oh no, no,no, I was agreeing with you! I just went deeper into to where I think it stems from. I have done the same as far as trying to make everyone happy and getting myself hurt for my trouble. I’m sorry my tone wasn’t clearer.

Your tone was fine.

My comprehension and communication....

 

[wenrob]

But here's the thing wenrob with Robyn, she has in other areas. That is what I find frustrating in her.

I’m saying that made it easy for her not to have a family discussion. It was easier to say, “This is all Kody” rather than risk having to come to a compromise on the rules with the other wives. Things only came to a head and a meeting was had only after one of the kids confronted her. That meeting backed her into a corner with Meri and she could no longer use Kody or the other wives as a reason to keep people out of her house.

I think you and I are saying the same thing. We’re just coming at it from different directions.

 

[mom2rtk]

Another fascinating episode. Interesting comment from Christine on how this is all easier for her than Janelle, because Janelle had a decent relationship with Kody heading into this. Really makes me wonder what was going on with her and Kody before the pandemic hit.

Loved how happy Christine was on Thanksgiving with her kids.

Loved how clear Janelle was in saying she's going to choose her kids over Kody. I find myself picturing Kody losing his sh** when he sees that footage. This isn't even like a monogamous parent choosing their kids over their spouse. This is a polygamist spouse who spends most of her time with the kids, and the husband popping in and out occasionally choosing the part of the family who is there for her day in and day out. And I hadn't even thought about how Gabe and Garrison would have had to spend Thanksgiving alone. That wouldn't work for me either.

The comments from Robyn about polygamist wives choosing to spend holidays with kids isn't a fair comment. I get that with that many people, of course it would be problematic for moms to peel off and go see kids. But this is pandemic times and it's a lot more complicated.

The discussion about respect was also revealing. I'm glad Janelle is seeing that it's a one way street with Kody. I'm aghast every time I see him ranting and demanding that everyone respect him. But not a peep about him respecting them. It's so gross.

That scene with Aurora saying the other wives said to "screw it" and Robyn not trying to explain both sides of it better just made me hate Robyn more. And I didn't think that was possible.

 

[wenrob]

Another fascinating episode. Interesting comment from Christine on how this is all easier for her than Janelle, because Janelle had a decent relationship with Kody heading into this. Really makes me wonder what was going on with her and Kody before the pandemic hit.

Loved how happy Christine was on Thanksgiving with her kids.

Loved how clear Janelle was in saying she's going to choose her kids over Kody. I find myself picturing Kody losing his sh** when he sees that footage. This isn't even like a monogamous parent choosing their kids over their spouse. This is a polygamist spouse who spends most of her time with the kids, and the husband popping in and out occasionally choosing the part of the family who is there for her day in and day out. And I hadn't even thought about how Gabe and Garrison would have had to spend Thanksgiving alone. That wouldn't work for me either.

The comments from Robyn about polygamist wives choosing to spend holidays with kids isn't a fair comment. I get that with that many people, of course it would be problematic for moms to peel off and go see kids. But this is pandemic times and it's a lot more complicated.

The discussion about respect was also revealing. I'm glad Janelle is seeing that it's a one way street with Kody. I'm aghast every time I see him ranting and demanding that everyone respect him. But not a peep about him respecting them. It's so gross.

That scene with Aurora saying the other wives said to "screw it" and Robyn not trying to explain both sides of it better just made me hate Robyn more. And I didn't think that was possible.

Yeah, that was definitely the wrong way to talk to the kids.

 

[barkley]

she was raised not to defy or question the man of the household.

But here's the thing wenrob with Robyn, she has in other areas. That is what I find frustrating in her.

i don't know if it's a conscious thing or not but she knows how to pick her battles with him. i say 'conscious' because i've seen the same, for lack of a better word-'dance' done between spouses, mothers and sons, and male and female siblings who are members of heavily male dominated faiths. to a great extent it's not even spoken of in the home, it's just second nature because it's always been done that way and their faith teaches it is the natural course for men to make certain decisions. i have seen very competent adult women who have a lifetime of knowledge and experiences to shape a logical and well thought out vital decision in their households defer to their teenage sons b/c the sons have reached the point of 'manhood' in their faith. the son has no basis of knowledge to make their decision on but that doesn't stop them from expressing their opinion which is often the deciding factor. in high school i a couple of friends (different families but of same faith) whose older brothers felt it was their duty to direct their older sister's dressing, socializing and even reading/television viewing habits (i remember one turning off a tv show we were watching together saying 'you girls don't need to watch this'-i was appalled her 'kid brother' did this, she accepted and didn't see anything wrong with it b/c 'he' a man and protecting us' ). my dh was raised in a similar male dominated faith (he left as a young person) and his practicing male family members have never really understood our shared decision making dynamic.

That scene with Aurora saying the other wives said to "screw it" and Robyn not trying to explain both sides of it better just made me hate Robyn more

drove me nuts too. it's like-explain the facts of life to your kids, people have to work to survive, not everyone can just hunker down, stay home and live off residual checks from tlc and the financial contributions of the other sisterwives (robyn is the only one not working some side gig at minimum). people have to pay for housing, food, transportation...you try to be careful but choices have to be made and sorry kiddos, paying for your bills (and college as gabe is doing) is a priority over jumping through hoops in order to have rice krispy turkey with the family.

 

[barkley]

just saw this in an article from last month-

anyone ever looked at robyn's imdb page under her STAGE NAME (Robyn Sullivan Jessop Brown) i guess she had acting aspirations back in the late 90's-did a CMT movie and an episode of 'just shoot me'.

 

[wenrob]

i don't know if it's a conscious thing or not but she knows how to pick her battles with him. i say 'conscious' because i've seen the same, for lack of a better word-'dance' done between spouses, mothers and sons, and male and female siblings who are members of heavily male dominated faiths. to a great extent it's not even spoken of in the home, it's just second nature because it's always been done that way and their faith teaches it is the natural course for men to make certain decisions. i have seen very competent adult women who have a lifetime of knowledge and experiences to shape a logical and well thought out vital decision in their households defer to their teenage sons b/c the sons have reached the point of 'manhood' in their faith. the son has no basis of knowledge to make their decision on but that doesn't stop them from expressing their opinion which is often the deciding factor. in high school i a couple of friends (different families but of same faith) whose older brothers felt it was their duty to direct their older sister's dressing, socializing and even reading/television viewing habits (i remember one turning off a tv show we were watching together saying 'you girls don't need to watch this'-i was appalled her 'kid brother' did this, she accepted and didn't see anything wrong with it b/c 'he' a man and protecting us' ). my dh was raised in a similar male dominated faith (he left as a young person) and his practicing male family members have never really understood our shared decision making dynamic.

Exactly. I was fortunate to be raised by my dad who had long walked away from all of that. But my mom’s side of the family, whoo boy. You should see how red my uncle’s face gets, the rage in his eyes and the steam fairly spurting out of his ears when I do not give into his authority. It’s a dynamic that has been happening since I was a kid. Like abusive. Once I asked my mom why she wouldn’t stick up for me and she told me she’d never go against her brother. Yeah. His sons are just like them but they have learned their place with me. Even my youngest brother can be that way. He once called me to tell me to set my teenage daughter straight. I told him, well, I can’t repeat what I said here but he got the message.

just saw this in an article from last month-

anyone ever looked at robyn's imdb page under her STAGE NAME (Robyn Sullivan Jessop Brown) i guess she had acting aspirations back in the late 90's-did a CMT movie and an episode of 'just shoot me'.

Throwing back to last weeks discussion Jessop is a common name in the FLDS. In fact, it’s notorious. As much as they want to distance themselves they’re always going to be intertwined. You ever want to read a very enlightening book on the FLDS read “Under the Banner of Heaven.” Lots of Jessops in there.

 

[lisaviolet]

@Kellykins1218, confused. Why the laughter emoji to a serious post. Your choice of disagreeing with the thoughts on Robyn? Unsure.

Really makes me wonder what was going on with her and Kody before the pandemic hit.

I know. So curious. Besides his nonsense in the book that I could not get over - I thought they were connected.

She has made the comment of him being focused on the one relationship ie. Robyn. Probably something in that area.

I'm glad Janelle is seeing that it's a one way street with Kody.

The best.

I would love to be a fly on the wall when he watches these episodes.

 

[mom2rtk]

For them it was 9mos. Meri says she asked often since she was very careful. Kody had told Robyn it was okay but Robyn says she thought the other wives would feel some kind of way about it plus the rules weren’t as clear as they are now.

I'm sorry but I just can't dredge up any sympathy for that situation. None. Zero. Zilch. That was 100% self imposed. A little communication would have quickly solved that problem. I feel sorry for family that has been kept apart by circumstances beyond their control, but this was entirely within their control. Meri was living in a way that would have made it safe for her to visit regularly. The fact that someone didn't suggest an open conversation with everyone about it just makes my head explode.

I burst out laughing when Christine and Janelle then said they just assumed Meri was visiting the entire time. What a ridiculous wasted opportunity.

 

[barkley]

Exactly. I was fortunate to be raised by my dad who had long walked away from all of that. But my mom’s side of the family, whoo boy. You should see how red my uncle’s face gets, the rage in his eyes and the steam fairly spurting out of his ears when I do not give into his authority. It’s a dynamic that has been happening since I was a kid. Like abusive. Once I asked my mom why she wouldn’t stick up for me and she told me she’d never go against her brother. Yeah. His sons are just like them but they have learned their place with me. Even my youngest brother can be that way. He once called me to tell me to set my teenage daughter straight. I told him, well, I can’t repeat what I said here but he got the message.

oh my gosh, sounds like a former acquaintance i had. she was married to a guy whose parents were of the brown children situation-born into polygamous families but chose not to follow that path. she said that both her dh and her father in law were both pretty good about not doing the whole male dominance thing but it was always a cringy experience visiting with what would have been her dh's grandparents b/c it was SO apparant. she finaly told her dh she couldn't take the kids around them anymore b/c she didn't want her sons being told that they had to 'lead' their sisters, or having her daughters scolded for not deferring to their male relatives (often younger cousins/younger siblings). to her husband's credit he supported her on it.

 

[lisaviolet]

Exactly. I was fortunate to be raised by my dad who had long walked away from all of that. But my mom’s side of the family, whoo boy. You should see how red my uncle’s face gets, the rage in his eyes and the steam fairly spurting out of his ears when I do not give into his authority. It’s a dynamic that has been happening since I was a kid. Like abusive. Once I asked my mom why she wouldn’ta stick up for me and she told me she’d never go against her brother. Yeah. His sons are just like them but they have learned their place with me. Even my youngest brother can be that way. He once called me to tell me to set my teenage daughter straight. I told him, well, I can’t repeat what I said here but he got the message.

Wow wenrob.

I have never forgotten these words, from an author who grew up in similar surroundings -

There was my mom. And then there was my father's wife. They were two very different people.

Was it that way with your mom and her brother? Or was your mother the same with you and him? (If that question is not too personal.)