Sister moving in - budget buster?

[mom to minnie&mickey]

I have been in your shoes but with a first cousin of mine who came to live with us for 1 month while relocating from Europe for work. First and foremost make sure your dh is 100% in agreement to help your dsis or else it will cause problems. It is his home too. Finances aside, be prepared for what it will mean to your home life to have an "outsider" sharing everything including your private time with your family. You are never yourself when you have a guest in your home from the way you eat, speak, dress , deal with the kids, deal with issues with your dh etc. We always felt we had to be on our best behaviour when he was around and it became very exhausting. Next, do not be vague with her. Set a time limit for when she will leave. Be precise which days and how many hours she will babysit. Make no mistake about it, it will cost you more with her there, especially on food. It is the little things that may drive you crazy. Whose toiletries, detergent, fabric softener, towels
etc. will she use? Are you a neat freak and she is not? Are you okay with her using your electronics.? In my case it drove me crazy when my cousin would take over our computer. Sometimes my poor dh felt like a guest in his own home. We never asked him for money for anything including food and toiletries and he never offered, not even to buy us one dinner. At the end we felt good that we had helped him out but also felt a little bit used by him. In your case this is your sister and I certainly hope you do not end up feeling this way. Good luck .

 

[Sagginit]

i did this last fall. i took a job in the city and had less than two weeks to re-locate. my brother and his fiance had just bought a condo in hoboken so i crashed with them. that's really why i took the job, i honestly never would have been able to do it without them. i offered rent but they did not want it, just for me to get myself together. i did save a lot and put a chunk towards my student loans. i ended up staying for 3 months. i brought my own food, soap for the bathroom/TP, and pitched in with things like paper towels. i tried to pitch in with cooking and cleaning but they weren't interested in my food and his fiance has OCD so unless she cleans it its not good enough. the disagreement we had was the agreement was really with my mother and them indirectly. i thought i was going to move in, move in, with furniture and all for a few months and she kinda did too. they wanted me there for just a month or two so i ended up on an air mattress with tupperware bins as a dresser. by the second month i felt like they were pushing me out the door and i ended up rushing to find a place. i stayed with that roommate for 6 months before i found a much nicer place and roommate. one of their friends had suggested taking rent and giving it back to me for the apt as a deposit or for furniture but they did not feel right taking money from me. we were home the same hours on the most part so there was not a dramatic hike in utilities.

the really nice thing was we got much closer. i miss seeing them all the time and i love that i still live so close.

 

[leebee]

We lived in southern ME with my sister and her husband for a month about 18 years ago, when we were relocating from San Francisco to the Boston area. We were with them for the month of Nov., with a 2 month old baby, while DH started work and I looked for a place for us to live. I broke my pelvis giving birth at the end of Sept so I was not really fully back on my feet at the time. We returned to SF for 3 weeks after this so DH could finish his post doc and we could pack up and move across country. We never would have been able to do this without their help. The 4 of us sat down and talked it out. DSis/BIL didn't want to charge us rent but we were clear on everyone's expectations. I took over housecleaning, shopping, laundry, etc. as I was home with the baby anyhow. We split the cost of food, and DH and I paid $100 towards the utilities. Everyone was happy. It gave us a chance to find an affordable place to live in the Boston area at a pace I could handle, and my family had the chance to spend time with the new baby. It worked out really well, but if we hadn't had clear expectations before hand, I don't know how it would have gone.

As it's your sister, I would be tempted to figure out what her babysitting would be saving me and consider that her payment towards the family (assuming it's saving you bucks in daycare or aftercare). I think if she were doing the childcare and contributing towards groceries, I'd be good with that... provided she is actually working towards getting on her own two feet and not taking advantage of a cushy situation!