I've been to see my brother each of the past two Saturdays now. To bring you up to speed, he went into the hospital two weeks ago for a procedure and has never been released. He has the most aggressive cancer anyone has ever seen and it has now consumed his body. As of today, he is out of his mind and rambling about anything and everything from telling you to hand him a wrench so he can finish this car, to asking you to give him the key to the door. He's also down to around 120 pounds and they've found cancer in his prostate, liver, bladder, kidneys, bones, spine, lungs, blood and bone marrow.
At this point, what was months is now days, and here''s the part that's freaking me out worse than anything. He could easily pass away on Tuesday, which is the Ten-year anniversary of Dad's death. I dont' think I have to tell any of you how strange that would be. Additionally, my Grandmother passed in 1989, Dad in 1999 and now my Brother in 2009. I'm not normally a superstitious person but I feel like hiding in a cave come 2019, especially June 23rd if something happens again on that day.
The person I feel most sorry for is his son, whom I haven't seen since he was 3 years old or so. He is now 10 and has had bone problems in his hips, hip replacement surgery and now losing his Dad who he worships....not to mention never getting to know his Grandfather (my Dad), who he was named after. He never did anything wrong and has been dealt a lousy hand in life, and its only getting worse.
Though I haven't spoken in many years, last week's visit to the hospital found him still coherant. We didn't say many words but exchanged many looks...I'm certain he knew how I felt and I could see lots of guilt in his eyes. Today he knew who I was, but that's about it. I feel sorry that I was never given a chance to have a relationship over these past years...and sorry that he pulled away from everyone when Dad passed. He never got over Dad's death and retreated from everyone that could've helped him the most.
Its only a matter of days now and I'm not sure how I'll react when I get the call. Maybe if it does happen Tuesday, it will be Dad's way of letting us all know he's with him now.
We got my great niece a doll and some clothes, though I was looking for more of a collectable one and was disappointed that they didnt have anything that nice. A couple other gifts for family and then a Birthday cupcake (mom had Creme Burlee). Saw the Diana Memorial and the alledged ring she was going to get. 
I guess this is how some of you feel leaving Disney... being I am that close I dont get that sad. 
