Single Roll Call

[ttester9612]

No sweetie you SURE do NOT!!! but I dont see you dating someone that could be your son's age

You know me to well, that is for sure... I do not rob the craddle.... That is just gross....

 

[rebecca06261]

Actually, the whole older-woman-affair thing was what I related to the first time I saw the film--which was a couple of years ago--so you guys are actually kind of right. Since then, I've become very frustrated with the education I'm receiving at Marshall, mostly because of tensions between the staff and myself caused by my aforementioned "soirées". Not to mention that I have no idea what to do with my degree (why I'm going away to teach/getting another degree).

There's a scene in the film where Benjamin's floating in the pool while his father assaults him with questions about what he's going to do with the rest of his life; one of my favorite exchanges in the film:

Mr. Braddock: Would you mind telling me then what those four years of college were for? What was the point of all that hard work?
Benjamin: You got me.

My mom even sent me a full set of SCUBA gear for my birthday this past year. It's like some sort of self-fulfilling prophecy (although I did technically just complete my open water SCUBA training, so...).

And any woman who feels a resemblance to Mrs. Robinson should have no shame. She may be a backhanded, scheming, curt Malcontent of a human being, but she's also one of the coolest characters ever put on screen.

If it makes you all more comfortable, I've since moved down the age ladder and have recently been seeing women 2-3 years my senior. I'm not currently dating in any conventional sense--just being a friend--because I'll be moving soon, haven't met anyone who's blown me away, and generally don't see myself getting into anything serious until I'm much older, if at all. I like to travel a lot--so much so that I've put off getting a cat or a dog (which I really want!)--and have pretty ambitious plans for the future, so it's hard telling what I'll end up with romantically.

First, I commend for your use and knowledge of the English language. Women love this kind of thing. Second, I was a career student (7 years,) and I honestly still cannot tell you what the purpose was for. I have a theory that only individuals who've never furthered their education, ask such silly questions.

Glad you finally made your way over to our thread!

 

[JzeroT1437]

First, I commend for your use and knowledge of the English language. Women love this kind of thing. Second, I was a career student (7 years,) and I honestly still cannot tell you what the purpose was for. I have a theory that only individuals who've never furthered their education, ask such silly questions.

Glad you finally made your way over to our thread!

I think the larger issue is that college is often viewed as "the next step"--it's almost become a part of the compulsory education we all receive. This isn't necessarily a problem in and of itself, but when you push several hapless 18-year-olds--teenagers who still don't understand what truly is trivial and what isn't, and who most definitely don't understand themselves or the ever-evolving nature of the self yet--when you force these individuals into college, you inadvertently commit them to several years of internal struggle over whether they "chose the right path" once they realize the immense disparity between what they liked four years ago, what they enjoy now, and how limited their options are now due to some decision they made as a child.

Only recently did I realize that no job I do will ever truly be permanent--which is why I'm glad that I branched out into several things (watersports, the piano, classical dance, etc.). I can always go back to school for a degree in something new that I enjoy, but these hobbies that I've picked up in my free time provide the true motivation for me to seek out good jobs while justifying the several years I've spent studying for said jobs.

Regardless, English is a good gateway into the arts--I've grown an appreciation for all forms of visual art--especially Marian Iconography--and have entered into the musical world on my own. Unfortunately, I still can't draw; last night I tried to draw Miss Piggy for a friend, only it turned out hideous, so I called it super-realistic Miss Piggy. I also couldn't wish for a better group of friends than the ones I've met in the Liberal Arts.

Still, it would've been nice to have realized all this a little younger and gone to school a little older.

Now that my little Higher Education rant is over--it's good to meet everyone here as well. I love meeting solo travelers.

 

[AmericangirlinFrance]

Hi single DIS friends -

I'm Amanda, twenty-something law student in Tennessee. Single, no children, two kitties. Oh yeah, and I'm leaving for Disney TOMORROW MORNING! So I'll chat with y'all some more when I get home!

I haven't read this whole thread, so I'll need a little bit of time to read everyone's information. A bit about me: I like to swing and salsa dance, I sing in a local choir in my spare time (hah!), love to travel and majored in foreign languages in undergrad so I'm all about that (just got back from 2 months in Brazil), love good coffee and good wine, and hot weather (can hot weather be a hobby? I just hate the cold!), like to be outside when the weather's nice... yeah, so there are a few things!

 

[rebecca06261]

Hi AmericangirlinFrance! I'm so unbelievably jealous that you are leaving in the morning! We want details when you get back. Have a magical trip

 

[captaindavidhook]

i was reading all of this and taking it all in ladies. I wonder if you would want a man's thoughts on the whole cougar thing. Im sure you know younger guys are always trying to date older woman. They really do think it is cool. I myself am 35 years old and see nothing wrong with any gender male or female dating some one either older or younger, just as long as its not to outrageous. I think the reason men seek a older female is because of maturity and experience. I always tend to think a older female knows what she wants and knows how to go aobut getting it. While a female in there early twenties takes there time which is fine but sometimes there are men would wanna settle in there late twenties and finding that true lovely partner is hard. As some one said earlier in one of the posts on here there are other reasons older and younger people date. Just my honest thoughts, i mean no harm if i offended anyone.

 

[rebecca06261]

I don't know how anything you said could be misconstrued!~

 

[captaindavidhook]

just checking that is all lol

 

[JzeroT1437]

i was reading all of this and taking it all in ladies. I wonder if you would want a man's thoughts on the whole cougar thing. Im sure you know younger guys are always trying to date older woman. They really do think it is cool. I myself am 35 years old and see nothing wrong with any gender male or female dating some one either older or younger, just as long as its not to outrageous. I think the reason men seek a older female is because of maturity and experience. I always tend to think a older female knows what she wants and knows how to go aobut getting it. While a female in there early twenties takes there time which is fine but sometimes there are men would wanna settle in there late twenties and finding that true lovely partner is hard. As some one said earlier in one of the posts on here there are other reasons older and younger people date. Just my honest thoughts, i mean no harm if i offended anyone.

Eh--with me it was more of a one-time thing that lasted a little too long. I find that I can hold more intelligent, meaningful conversations with older women, but have no problem with women of my own age as well. My friends run the gamut age-wise, but there's no real sense of a quest for a permanent lifestyle affecting my romantic decisions just yet.

Having said that, you're right in some respect. In many places, especially areas like the one I'm from, there seems to be a push to settle down early; the main goal of many people in this area is to get married and have children, evidenced in some of my friends' very real NEED to have a significant other. These are people who feel worthless when they're not with someone else. It's a small town, so these are the goals people have set for themselves--there doesn't seem to be anything greater to aspire to, so they immediately set their sights on something that seems instantly attainable--a husband or wife and children-- yet which also affords them a sense of maturity and individuality which they can associate their identity with. I personally don't have any such desires--at least not yet. I just want to travel, see the world, learn new skills and meet new people. And enjoy chewy triple chocolate brownies. I love my secret late-night cooking.

 

[captaindavidhook]

Eh--with me it was more of a one-time thing that lasted a little too long. I find that I can hold more intelligent, meaningful conversations with older women, but have no problem with women of my own age as well. My friends run the gamut age-wise, but there's no real sense of seeking out a permanent lifestyle affecting my romantic decisions just yet.

Having said that, you're right in some respect. In many places, especially areas like the one I'm from, there seems to be a push to settle down early; the main goal of many people is to get married and have children. It's a small town, so these are the goals people have set for themselves--there doesn't seem to be anything greater to aspire to, so they immediately set their sights on something that seems instantly attainable yet also affords them a sense of maturity and individuality which they can associate their identity with. I personally don't have any such desires--at least not yet. I just want to travel, see the world, learn new skills and meet new people.

I do think everyone wants to travel, see the world and meet a lot of people. Hey more power to you but at the same time there are a few others who want to settle down. Some people do not wish to be lonely there whole life while others can handle it. I think it is hard to put a goal or plan forward an say im going to be married by 25 or 28 or 30, it's sorta a wait period thing. No matter the age. Like i said before im 35 if i met a girl tomorrow either 25 or 45 and fell in love with her the Age wouldnt matter and shouldnt. I think the age is only 1 factor and i think at one time in all our lives we have wondered or have tried dating some one younger or older to see how it feels. Hey just my two cents

 

[JzeroT1437]

I do think everyone wants to travel, see the world and meet a lot of people. Hey more power to you but at the same time there are a few others who want to settle down. Some people do not wish to be lonely there whole life while others can handle it. I think it is hard to put a goal or plan forward an say im going to be married by 25 or 28 or 30, it's sorta a wait period thing. No matter the age. Like i said before im 35 if i met a girl tomorrow either 25 or 45 and fell in love with her the Age wouldnt matter and shouldnt. I think the age is only 1 factor and i think at one time in all our lives we have wondered or have tried dating some one younger or older to see how it feels. Hey just my two cents

No, I completely understand what you're saying. The people I'm talking about are more like my friends who have all been married and divorced--and who are my age. Most of them have come to me and said something along the lines of "I think I got married because I just wanted the sense of security it provided--to know that someone was always going to be there." Obviously it's an issue with no easily definable causation--it's unique to everyone with quite a gray gap.

All I can say is for myself, I want to travel, and to ensure that my job isn't merely a job, but a way of enriching my life and achieving my overall goals. I think that's why I'm choosing to teach in South Korea or move to New York--from NYU, I'll have access to international flights and a broad spectrum of cultures, and from S. Korea, I'll have a jumping point to see the rest of Asia. I find that getting into anything too serious causes serious problems in the realm of such endeavors--but who knows.

As for "cougar" relationships--people get entangled in relationships for all kinds of reasons. Even in the film this entire discussion was brought forth from, Benjamin is slowly pushed into allowing himself to be seduced by Mrs Robinson as a result of his feelings of misdirection and the constant complaints of his family and neighbors to do something with himself. I personally fell for someone I shouldn't have, in hindsight, but there were no ambiguous feelings or malevolence involved. Things just sort of happen. I see nothing wrong with seeking out men who are younger just as I see no problem with seeking out women who are older. If you like someone, you like them.

 

[Sha]

Ryan and David, your points of view are very welcome here in my opinion. I have to agree that if you like someone, you like someone, regardless of age. And it has been that way for me... they just have been older than me 95% of the time from high school on. (some too old now that I look back )

 

[captaindavidhook]

Ryan and David, your points of view are very welcome here in my opinion. I have to agree that if you like someone, you like someone, regardless of age. And it has been that way for me... they just have been older than me 95% of the time from high school on. (some too old now that I look back )

To me some of the nicer people i have dated or have been friends with have been older or around my age by a few years younger ,like three or four. For the most part i think a lot depends on the personality of a person to make things right. Many people seem to lose sight of that.

 

[Sha]

To me some of the nicer people i have dated or have been friends with have been older or around my age by a few years younger ,like three or four. For the most part i think a lot depends on the personality of a person to make things right. Many people seem to lose sight of that.

may we all regain that perspective

 

[JzeroT1437]

Like David said, the older you get, personality becomes (or should become) the prime concern, making age arbitrary. It's a pretty amazing feeling when you come to know, rather than simply acknowledge, that there are people everywhere--on almost every acre of land-- and that they're each individually complex, sensitive, and brilliant in their own unique way. I've met a lot of older folks who have been impressive enough as to define what I look for in a friend or significant other, but I've also met some who act like they're still in high school. Just as I've met people my own age who admittedly seem beyond their years.

I read something by Chuck Klosterman a few weeks ago which really served to encapsulate and vocalize what I already felt and knew about "love". It's too long to post here, but he basically pointed out that the notion we have of "true love" as children, of a single prince/princess that's perfect for us, is utter crap, which the more introspective of us realize as we get older, while others just get jaded and accept the experience. Rather than a single true love, people fall in love many times throughout life, sometimes in the tens or hundreds, but there are a handful of people we meet who help define what we love about people, and even moreso, a single person who becomes that definition--a single person who affects us so much that we consciously look back to her/him in comparison to the relationship we're in. You don't speak of such things for fear of getting slapped, but this is a person you will always remember, even should you get married and have a family, because they have become the very definition of what you love. Does this person exist once you let them go--no, because you've most likely idealized them in the same way politicos and our grandparents look back on the "good old days" of an easier world, which never truly existed in the first place. Still, that single person remains in the back of our minds as long as we live.

It's a very interesting denouement to his book, Killing Yourself to Live, which strangely set out to be a nationwide journey to explore the sites of famous rockstar deaths but ultimately became an exploration of the author's major past relationships. Interestingly, that abstraction makes sense to me when I take in account the length of the car trip...

 

[Sha]

Ryan I will have to come back to read that after church. Not sure if there is a link to what you are talking about, what you read that is too long to post... but would be interested in reading it.

 

[JzeroT1437]

Ryan I will have to come back to read that after church. Not sure if there is a link to what you are talking about, what you read that is too long to post... but would be interested in reading it.

It's spread out over the last three pages of this book:

http://www.amazon.com/Killing-Yours...bs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1215955815&sr=8-1

Klosterman has some pretty brilliant commentary on life and the world of pop music if you're into that sort of thing--and he's hilarious too. If you're really interested in getting into him, I'd check out the pages I told you about from Killing Yourself to Live, then pick up Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs: A Low Culture Manifesto. SD&CP is widely held to be his best work; it's definitely his funniest and most accessible, especially for those who grew up in or later discovered a fond fascination for 80's culture.

Check him out. Great Author. Reminds me of a more mature Michael J. Nelson, the head writer for the now defunct Mystery Science Theater 3000, who wrote a collection of essays on general life called "Mind Over Matters". It's just as funny as MST3k, which is absolutely freaking hilarious.

 

[rebecca06261]

As for "cougar" relationships--people get entangled in relationships for all kinds of reasons. Even in the film this entire discussion was brought forth from, Benjamin is slowly pushed into allowing himself to be seduced by Mrs Robinson as a result of his feelings of misdirection and the constant complaints of his family and neighbors to do something with himself. I personally fell for someone I shouldn't have, in hindsight, but there were no ambiguous feelings or malevolence involved. Things just sort of happen. I see nothing wrong with seeking out men who are younger just as I see no problem with seeking out women who are older. If you like someone, you like them.

This confirms it, I'm not a cougar! I'm not looking for the younger ones, it's just been coincidental lately

To me some of the nicer people i have dated or have been friends with have been older or around my age by a few years younger ,like three or four. For the most part i think a lot depends on the personality of a person to make things right. Many people seem to lose sight of that.

 

[Sha]

It's spread out over the last three pages of this book:

http://www.amazon.com/Killing-Yours...bs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1215955815&sr=8-1

Klosterman has some pretty brilliant commentary on life and the world of pop music if you're into that sort of thing--and he's hilarious too. If you're really interested in getting into him, I'd check out the pages I told you about from Killing Yourself to Live, then pick up Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs: A Low Culture Manifesto. SD&CP is widely held to be his best work; it's definitely his funniest and most accessible, especially for those who grew up in or later discovered a fond fascination for 80's culture.

Check him out. Great Author. Reminds me of a more mature Michael J. Nelson, the head writer for the now defunct Mystery Science Theater 3000, who wrote a collection of essays on general life called "Mind Over Matters". It's just as funny as MST3k, which is absolutely freaking hilarious.

I might just do that... after I the next major hurdle I have coming up.

 

[PirateMel]

Okay,
Why am I always late to the party

Melanie, 43, divorced for 19 years, and a major Disney nut.
I am an accountant and go to Disney often, gotta love the AP, to feel the magic and escape reality.