Single Parents or formerly single parents

[isyne4u]

Okay, I'm sitting here at the computer with a DQ Blizzard to ease the lonliness. My 3 year old ds is down in Florida with his father (my ex) and here I sit with two dogs and an empty house. My mom survived trips with us going to visit our father (in California no less) and she said it does get easier. I did just fine yesterday after he left and just fine when I got a message on my vm this am. But tonight I talked to him and he started crying and telling me he missed me. i was fine until I hung up the phone. His father had been trying to get him to go to bed and he refused. But after i talked to him for a minute he gave the phone back to his dad and crawled into the bed by himself. I talked to his dad for another couple of minutes and then dad told me to listen and he put the phone next to Jarrod's head so I could hear him snoring. So I still felt like I got to put him to bed.

Ok, this is not supposed to be a pity party but I'm sensing I'm going that way (too much DQ and internet will do that to you!) My question is how do you or did you deal with having your child away with your former spouse or SO? Were you as comfortable with them being away with the ex as you would have been if you had been with them?

I just know I'm going to be as big as a house when he gets back on Wednesday. I'm trying to keep myself busy but i keep going back to the junk food.

Okay, i'm done whinning. I'm going to continue dising and see what's out there on the web!

Thanks for letting me share!
tara

 

[bsnyder]

tara

Hugs to you!! I'm sorry you're down!

Yes, I have been in your shoes. My DS's were 2 and 3 when my ex and I separated. And I remember the loneliness and the strange feeling of a quiet, empty house when the boys were with their dad.

Keeping busy is the key! Use the time to do some things that you like to do, that you can't do with a 3 year old in tow. And be happy for your son, that he has a father who loves him and wants to spend time with him. Lots of kids from divorced families don't have that.

 

[mom42860]

I almost posted earlier tonight, asking who was missing their children. My oldest DD is 14 and DS is 12, they are traveling with ex to Canada right now. They have been going with him since they were 5 and 3. It has never felt comfortable -I have gotten used to it. Yes I still miss them, sometimes it is easier sometimes it is harder. The house always feels empty even now with new DD (3) and DH. At first I cannot go near their rooms but as it gets closer to their return I tidy up and do something special (for example I bought a new rug for DD's bedrm). This makes me feel closer to them and makes the homecoming special. So you are perfectly normal for feeling the way you do, eat the junk food and stay busy, Weds. is right around the corner! Nancy

 

[JohnTBap]

I don't know how I would deal with it. I hope that it gets easier for you. {{{HUGS}}}

 

[Pooh93]

{{HUGS}}. It's nice that you still have a good enough relationship with ex that he let you talk to ds and "put him to bed." Keep yourself as busy as you can the next couple days. Go get a pedicure/manicure. Clean out closets that you've been wanting to do. Rearrange furniture. These aren't too exciting suggestions, I know, but I am old and boring so these sound pretty good to me!!

Your ds is really cute, btw.

 

[bigsis1970]

Hi , I got a dog last year ! at least it was something to make noise and make me feel like I have something to fuss over when DD and DS are gone to Dad's house.. We have been doing it for almost 5 years now and it does get better - I have quiet time to read - hang out with adult friends - clean the house **** and span! mow the grass , hang out laundry , watch movies , make adult meals ( not M & C or Chix nuggets LOL ) hang in there .. Michelle

 

[CRB#33]

{{{{HUGS}}}}

Funny, I was just about to post a similar thread. My children just left 1 1/2 hours ago until next Monday with their dad. This is the second time this summer.

It does get easier every year. It's still quiet and lonely, but I've learned to put things off until they're gone. I've got two scrapbooks I'm working on, the whole house needs a summer cleaning. It's been so humid and I finally have some nice weather. I'm going to visit/babysit my 20 month old neice on Thursday.

This is when my post counts on the DIS go way up too,

What really stinks is that I always had my kitty to keep me company, but I had to put him down last Wednesday.

Mom42860, my DD and DS are the same ages as yours! AND I've been divorced since they were 5 and 3!!!

Weird

 

[isyne4u]

Thank you all for your responses. It's nice to see I'm not the only one! I took time this morning to sit in front of the tv with my breakfast, watch the Today show and read a little of my book. Unfortunately, staying busy right now is hard b/c I'm helping my mother take care of my grandmother who is on hospice care now. But during the time at my grandmother's house I am getting some knitting done. but there is no computer, so I can't dis during the day right now.

I have quiet time to read - hang out with adult friends - clean the house **** and span!

bigsis1970...That is too funny that the filter took out your word for cleaning your house.

CBR I'm sorry to hear about your kitty. We had to put down our bunny rabbit a month or so ago and that was hard on my son, I don't know how we are going to do it when his "GG" dies. The other day when I told him that his GG was feeling really sick, he gave me some of the cookies he had made with dad and told me these would make her feel better.

Pooh93..yes I'm very lucky that his father and I get along. It is not always this smooth, but most of the time it is. I think too, his is not a close family so he is there with his parens in another room and he really only has Jarrod to talk to. He called this morning and DS cried talking to me but when I told him I would pick him up from the airport on Wednesday he perked right up.

eat the junk food and stay busy

mom42860...this is the advice i will continue to follow.

bsnyder...yes I am thankful that his father wants to spend time with him, I had one that lost interest the older we got, and Jarrod and Jay just adore each other so I'm glad for both of them

Okay, i'm off to grandmother's house ( I better watch out for the big bad wolf while i'm wearing my red hood!!! sorry I couldn't resist!)
Thank you all!!
tara

 

[Briar Rose 7457]

another member of the club here. I've been doing it since younger dd qas 2 and older dd was 3 1/2. they're 11 and almost 13 now.

 

[mom42860]

CRB#33
Glad to know I'm not alone when I am missing them at this age! My friends think I am crazy.

 

[bigsis1970]

OH Gosh I got edited .. I am sorry .. I try to make my house spotless is what I was trying to get at... Michelle

 

[isyne4u]

Originally posted by bigsis1970
OH Gosh I got edited .. I am sorry .. I try to make my house spotless is what I was trying to get at... Michelle

That's what i thought was so funny!! I'm going to work on my house tomorrow, my son comes home tomorrow evening. Yipee!! Thus ends my dis time!
tara

 

[mom42860]

Mine come home tomorrow night too, glad you made it through!
What is it about having our children go away that we clean our houses? I totally rearranged and cleaned! We should start a club or support group, NaNa parenthood or ?.....

 

[isyne4u]

Finally, my wait is over and my son is home. (hope your kids are home now too Mom42860!) The only problem is that he came off the airplane sick. He has apparently picked up a bug along the way and was sick during the entire 2 hour flight! I think that is why it arrived early! hehehehe

I love my animals, but there is nothing like the hug I got when I wraped my arms around him at the airport or the feeling I got when I laid him in bed and he told me he loved me. I'm happy now!

Thanks for everyone's support!
tara

 

[Miss Jasmine]

Maybe I can present the other side of the coin so to speak. We have the kids every other weekend and whenever we arrange something during the week. When Monday evening comes, it is so quiet and we miss them so much. You all are lucky that you have them for the majority of the time. Just because you and your ex divorced does not mean your ex loves his child any less, it hurts just the same, if not more.

 

[isyne4u]

Miss Jasmine, you are right it is the same for the parents that do not get the benefit of having their children full time. I can't even imagine what it must be like. I guess sometimes we take things that we have for granted. I hope you get to spend as much time with your children as possible!!

tara