single parents doing it all

[leshunlenese]

im a single mom to a 14 month old boy working and going to school full time and im exhausted. How do you other single parents do it? I was fine when he was younger but its getting harder especially with my baby running all over the place. hes in that toddler stage

 

[Juliegirl1]

Single mom here too. Toddler years are tough. Is dad in the picture at all? Maybe you can work out some trade time with a friend - she watches your kiddo for a few hours so you can get some studying/house cleaning/mommy time in and then you return the favor.

BABYPROOF! Use baby gates to keep the kiddo from running all over the house and really babyproof the area where he will be. Don't be afraid to turn on the tv - a little bit won't hurt and if you pick a good program that is interesting your child might even learn some stuff. Just don't use the tv as a babysitter.

Put the kiddo to bed earlier or down for naps. Use that quiet time to study. Don't worry about the house cleaning so much as long as the house doesn't look like it belongs on Hoarders or see if you can hire a neighborhood kid to either come clean or come babysit at the house while you are there. I used to do this when I was about 10 or 11 - too young to be left alone with a child but old enough to entertain them with mom there to help out if needed. It's also much cheaper.

Plan out your time - Study during lunch at work instead of going out to eat. Run your errands during lunch. It's amazing how much you can accomplish in an hour. I throw my laundry in the washer in the morning - at night it goes in the dryer and right before bed clothes get put away. seems like I always have a load going.

Set timers and create a calendar! Know that you need to spend x amount of time doing this or that and schedule it accordingly.

Let your child become independent. Make sure quiet toys are accessible. Give him nontoxic crayons and paper and let him "work" with mommy.

It's tough but so worth it. Just don't forget to give the little guy hugs and kisses!

 

[christineann]

CROCKPOT

 

[PrincessV]

I DON'T! Do it all, I mean. I promise, it gets easier in some ways once you're past the infant stage. But I'm always clear on this subject: there are limits to how much I can take on and I will not sacrifice my health and sanity to do more than I comfortably can. That means that I don't kill myself taking my DS8 to 5 different extracurricular activities a week; just one. It means that I insist on time for myself most days - which is usually my hour to work out. It means that while I'm in school, on top of working full time, I'm not available to my DS's school as a volunteer. And it means that time with my DS frequently comes before housework, so I may or may not have dusted in the last two months. Cooking healthy meals is important to me, but gourmet feasts aren't; I'm happy to make breakfast-for-dinner in the interest of saving time and making sure we still get a good meal together.

It's really about setting priorities and sticking to them; they'll be different for everyone, but we can all decide what's most worth the time we have available.

 

[Gina]

I DON'T! Do it all, I mean. I promise, it gets easier in some ways once you're past the infant stage. But I'm always clear on this subject: there are limits to how much I can take on and I will not sacrifice my health and sanity to do more than I comfortably can. That means that I don't kill myself taking my DS8 to 5 different extracurricular activities a week; just one. It means that I insist on time for myself most days - which is usually my hour to work out. It means that while I'm in school, on top of working full time, I'm not available to my DS's school as a volunteer. And it means that time with my DS frequently comes before housework, so I may or may not have dusted in the last two months. Cooking healthy meals is important to me, but gourmet feasts aren't; I'm happy to make breakfast-for-dinner in the interest of saving time and making sure we still get a good meal together.

It's really about setting priorities and sticking to them; they'll be different for everyone, but we can all decide what's most worth the time we have available.

Well said!!

BTDT, and all I want to add is that there is a distinct upside to being a single parent. My DS is almost 15 now, and we have an amazing, fun relationship. It has been he and I against the world since before he was 2, and now he is a teenager I'm actually proud to call my own. Don't get me wrong, he still drives me nuts sometimes, but I wouldn't trade the relationship we have for anything in the world.

As PrincessV did, I also put our relationship before anything else, and juggled it all by including my DS in as much of everything as I could. Not just having him with me, but involving him as much as possible in everything from grocery shopping to voting to laundry -- and showing him it can all be as fun as you make it. I'm not going to lie and say there haven't been rough patches, and times I cried myself to sleep from exhaustion, but once I graduated last year things got way easier time-management-wise.

But even when you're tired, and stressed, and ready to pull all your hair out, try to find and savor the little moments in each day that make you smile and feed your soul. It all goes by so FAST! I still haven't accepted that I have a high-schooler. Make memories, and cherish them!!

 

[christineann]

I raised two kids by myself after my divorce. I found that one of the most important things we did was that every night I tucked each child into bed (boy and girl, separate rooms) and spent time with each, one on one, every night. They could ask me anything they wanted, including what that word they heard on the playground meant without me getting upset. We did this every night, no matter how tired we were or whether the laundry was done. Keeping the lines of communication open really made things work for us.

It's hard to believe my kids are now 25 and 22, and in the next 5 months, I will have two college graduates

 

[leshunlenese]

well i must say kuddos to you all. its hard to believe me taking on anything else i just couldnt. it still amazes me that im making it but in 1 year i will be done with school and it will be well worth it cause he is worth it. thanks for the tips, i will definately use some of them!!

 

[luvsJack]

I am not a single mom any longer (sometimes it seems like I still am with the way dh works. He is out of town 5-6 days a week and sometimes will be gone up to 2 weeks at a time) but I was when my sons were small.

When I was/am doing it all by myself, I always remembered some advice my grandmother gave me when I had oldest ds. She told me that children don't remember dust on the table or that the floor needed sweeping or even that a big meal was cooked every night, what they remember and what is most important to them was having YOU. Nothing came before having time with my kids every day. The house wasn't picture perfect then and its not now, but that's ok. I can clean house when they are grown.

Knowing that the world is not going to cave if the house isn't completely clean or if I had to give in and let them have cereal for suppert made it a lot easier to get through the day.

Good luck to you and just know that you aren't in it alone. Just pick and choose each day what is most important to you to get done. And don't try to do more than that, you will just stress yourself out.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

im a single mom to a 14 month old boy working and going to school full time and im exhausted. How do you other single parents do it? I was fine when he was younger but its getting harder especially with my baby running all over the place. hes in that toddler stage

Well I am not in your postion however looking back, kids are exhausting and work. My dh traveled back when the dd's were little and I did everything. Not that he would know what to anyway.

Do alot of scheduling, planning, and routines esp. Routines are a lifesaver with little ones and they love it. They know exactly what the plans are everyday makes for smoother homelife.

 

[LJRJR]

I raised two kids by myself after my divorce. I found that one of the most important things we did was that every night I tucked each child into bed (boy and girl, separate rooms) and spent time with each, one on one, every night. They could ask me anything they wanted, including what that word they heard on the playground meant without me getting upset. We did this every night, no matter how tired we were or whether the laundry was done. Keeping the lines of communication open really made things work for us.

It's hard to believe my kids are now 25 and 22, and in the next 5 months, I will have two college graduates

I definatly agree with this. If you can manage quite eveings here and there these are the most important things. Family dinners and time together in the eveings. Everything else will eventually get done. I also try to keep things simple such as not buying alot of toys and keeping clothing and other things to a minimum, so I can spend more time with the kids instead of picking up.