Single parents and Disney????

[Vickibean]

My life has been turned upside down in the last few months. My marriage fell apart in an instant due to my soon-to-be-ex husband's alcoholism and mental illness. There was a bright spot that developed, though. I got back together with my first husband. Everything was going super, until his ex-girlfriend called and dropped a bomb. She's pregnant. I am just so shattered.

We were planning a trip for 10/1-10/8 with our son together and my son from my second failed marriage. I don't know if I can handle a trip with an 8-year old and a 3-year old alone. The 8-year old won't be able to ride any of the big rides, since I will be with my younger son. There's really nobody else that could step in and come with us.

Hugs? Advice?

 

[Maggie'sMom]

I'm a single parent. I took my DD to WDW by myself when she was 3 1/2, and we have another trip planned for September to celebrate her 5th birthday. We do have another single parent and his 2 kids traveling with us for this trip, but we will only be touring together for less than 1/2 the time we are there.

You can do it , but you may need to adjust your 8 yo's expectations so he realizes that the big rides are out. There are plenty of rides that all 3 of you can do together. Don't try to squeeze everything into your trip. Commando-style touring will do you in. But you can plan for a more relaxed trip with mid-day breaks to keep up your energy and also to keep your DSs well-rested and happy.

You can also look into hiring a sitter from Kids' Night Out if you want a break some night, or leave your 3 yo with the sitter and take your 8 yo out to ride some bigger rides.

 

[HeShootsHeScores]

Do you have a sibling, friend, parent, or family member that might want to join you? That would be my first step ... see if I can find someone to go with me. Also, you could hire a teenager (maybe a niece or nephew) to accompany you and act as a "nanny". Sure you'd have to pay their way, but you could tell them they'd need to provide their own spending money.

Just some thoughts. Good luck to you.

 

[Narnia]

Mine is a bit differant situation but I too am going to be going alone with two kids. I was supposed to be going with a cousin but not she's not going. Why would you have to go alone just because his ex is pregnant?

 

[Vickibean]

Mine is a bit differant situation but I too am going to be going alone with two kids. I was supposed to be going with a cousin but not she's not going. Why would you have to go alone just because his ex is pregnant?

It's his baby. She got pregnant right before they broke up and waited until now to tell him.

I don't have much family. I'm an only child, my dad passed away, and my mom doesn't really travel.

 

[vcgirl925]

It's his baby. She got pregnant right before they broke up and waited until now to tell him.

I don't have much family. I'm an only child, my dad passed away, and my mom doesn't really travel.

So why can't he go with you? Did you split up because his ex is pregnant with his baby? Sorry if i missed something.

 

[Vickibean]

So why can't he go with you? Did you split up because his ex is pregnant with his baby? Sorry if i missed something.

Exactly. It looks like he is going to choose her and the unborn child over me and our 7-year old.

I swear, my life has turned into Days of our Lives.

 

[mpls_mm]

I'm a single parent and have two kids 4 and 9, this is our 3rd trip and you don't "need" anyone to go with you. I explain that we won't be able to do every ride and have never had an issue. If it is a ride my little guy is too clearly small for, we wait in line with the older one and wait for her. It is far from impossible. I went when my little guy was 8 months and my daughter, 4, we rode rides and had fun. Many rides are still doable. We miss out on very little. I would rather go alone and skip a ride or two than take someone along on our vacation.

 

[Erin13178]

First off that seems like a tough situation. I'm sorry you are dealing with it. But I don't think I would cancel the vacation or anything. Just let your older child know that you won't be able to ride all the big rides. Also, check the height requirements for the rides. My 3 (almost 4 year old) can go on probably 90% of the rides, minus the coasters this year. Just cause she's a tall child. She can even ride the TOT, which surprised me, but I'm sure she'll want to do it cause she's a daredevil.

Good luck!

 

[santa's surpriz]

First, hang in there. I am divorced and have a DD5. Life gets better. Just remember it is a temporary inconvenience for permanent improvement. My step dad gave my that advice and I live by it everyday.

AS far as WDW is concerned...Can plan for one of the child activity centers or one of the in room sitters few nights for the little one (he will be exhausted anyways), plan on nights that the parks have evening EMH or open late and take the older child on the big kid rides then. That way you can be sure that he gets to do big kids stuff too!

My parents divorced when I was 9. It's tough from a kids point of view. He probably understands alot more than you tell him. ALthough I do not know you...Hearing the details, you may not be the only one that is feeling rejected and your older son may need this special time with you.It would hard to believe that your son with the ex is not feeling that his dad is choosing an unborn baby over him. I know that it is not the case and so do you but in a child's eyes it is a different ball game. Your kids need this trip and so do you. I am single parent of DD5 and am going on my second WDW trip her alone in January. Husbands just slow down the pace, trust me you will have a wonderful time!

 

[parith1114]

Some people may think it's crazy, but I think it's great when a divorced couple can co-parent so well. My ex-husband and I had been split for over two years when we decided to take the kids to Disney together. It worked out really well. We both knew we were there to enjoy the kids enjoying Disney. We each shared a bed with a child and nothing was awkward at all. I hope he decides to go, but if not you'll be fine. Have fun!!!

 

[Vickibean]

Thank you all for your encouragement. I told my mom last night and she was supportive. I don't think she wants to come along, though.

Keep the hugs coming. I can't believe how hard this is..

 

[PrincessDreams2]

Single mom here!! 5 weeks from today, my DD4 and I will be heading down for our first trip to WDW. YOU CAN DO IT!! At first it seemed overwhelming to me as well, but now that it is almost here, I couldn't be more excited!! It is a precious period of time that you will spend with your kids, and you can't get that back. So go and leave all the heartache behind for a few days and enjoy yourself and your kids.

I also agree with some of the previous posters - getting a sitter for your 3 year old or just letting your older child ride alone while you wait. Somehow you will make it work. Good luck to you.

 

[HeShootsHeScores]

Exactly. It looks like he is going to choose her and the unborn child over me and our 7-year old.

OK - I don't want this to come off sounding mean b/c that is not my intention. Why are you confused? You started over, found another spouse, and had a child w/him and that was ok. I guess he felt it was his turn, too. You had no attachments to the first husband b/c you were divorced from him.

Sounds like you two rebounded together after both of your relationships dissolved? I think everything was going super w/your first husband b/c it was comfortable and easy to fall back into. I would guess that after a few months, both of you would've realized why you divorced and would've split up again.

I'm going to guess if the ex-girlfriend found out she's pregnant, she hasn't been an ex for too long. Which means your reignited relationship w/your first husband is fairly new, too.

 

[Maggie'sMom]

I think the trip will be just the thing you and your kids need. As hard as these last few months have been on you, it has been at least equally hard, if not moreso, on them. The trip will be an opportunity to have fun and make some lasting memories for you and your kids.

 

[2dogmom]

You can definitely do it. I have gone with my girls 3 times, my 4th is coming up in 10 days. My oldest knows she can't go on every ride, and she is ok with hhat. Really, there are only a handful of rides with height restrictions, so there aren't that many that need to be missed. We have a wonderful time every trip. I get along good with their dad, but I couldn't imagine going on a vacation with him (which would include his gf).

 

[gymjenn2]

i am in the process of planning a 6 day trip to WDW with my 3 yo DD. this will be a birthday trip for her as she will turn 4 at the end of the trip. i too am a single mother, have been her entire life. i am both nervous and exctied at the same time. it will be great to spend so much alone time with her, as single parents we often dont get that since so much time is taken up with daily necessities like working, cleaning, cooking, ect. enjoy the break from reality and the chance to be with your kids without outside stress.

ps-i think hiring a sitter for the little one one night or afternoon would be a great chance for you and your older one to get some bonding in there, even if for a special meal and a few rides. sounds like a great idea.

 

[Vickibean]

Sounds like you two rebounded together after both of your relationships dissolved? I think everything was going super w/your first husband b/c it was comfortable and easy to fall back into. I would guess that after a few months, both of you would've realized why you divorced and would've split up again.
QUOTE]


The more I think about this, the more it seems true. Thanks for the advice!!! It's getting easier to deal with this every day.

I appreciate all your suggestions. I don't think my 3-year old would do well with an in-room sitter. He doesn't even do well at Grandma's. I think he would cry the whole time.

My oldest didn't know about the trip. Last night he was talking about riding RnRC. I told him that on our next trip to Disney, we probably wouldn't be able to ride the big rides because it would just be the 3 of us. He wanted his dad to come. I told him that that he probably wouldn't be able to, and my son announced that, then he didn't want to go. I told my ex that I would still like him to come, as friends, but I don't think he's going to.

I guess I didn't think about waiting in line with him and just taking the "chicken exit". That might just work.

Also, I don't fly well. We're talking take the Xanax, close my eyes and crush someone's hand for the first few minutes. Along with the car seat, stroller and other stuff, this could be rough.

 

[raysnkaysmom]

When I was single I too, I took my DDs, when one wasn't big enough to ride much yet. If you feel ok about it...you can wait in the line with the 8yo and let him get on by himself and wait at the other end if there is just something he HAS to do
It'll be worth the memories you make when you go

 

[Vickibean]

Last night, when I asked XH about the trip, he was using the length of the trip (8 days) as an excuse. He didn't think he could go that long. (I'm sure his baby mama wouldn't like that) I told him his morning that I would be willing to pay the change fees if he wanted to shorten the trip. At least I would have help on on-way of the airplane trip and DS could ride some rides with him. I think I could handle part of the trip on my own. We'll see his response.

But, here's the best news.....AirTran changed our flight schedule. They pushed back our departing flight 45 minutes. This is our 3rd change. AirTran cancelled our original flights that I booked in January. We rebooked on Midwest, who cancelled our 2nd set of flights last month. I rebooked on AirTran and changed the travelers. I just called AirTran and got a full refund for our flights because of the schedule change.

Now, I am free to book a shorter trip, or I'm even thinking of driving down.