Single parenting & Cruises

[ciniminis]

On our last (which was our first) cruise, DCL put 4 pairs of single mom+only child together for our table. It was great as we can easily relate to one another and enjoy ourselves.

 

[DisneyHeather]

I'm a single mom by choice and have taken my son on a transatlantic just him and I. We had a blast and I don't feel like anyone cared that it was just him and I. I'm looking at doing another with just him and I next April.

 

[firepuppy]

I'm a single mom and have been on several cruised with my DS. We always have fun and we have also had great table mates. Disney did a great job with us and all the kids were the same age or very close. Another great thing was we helped each other with the kids. I know it is not always this way but it worked for us. Never feel like your are alone and you will have a great time.

 

[Jennifer Scicchitano]

may be a little OT but what if you become a single parent before your cruise? can you just take them off the reservation or bring a friend and change the name? just curious.....

 

[Raynecatcherr]

Oh, you can tell. When the toddler is kicking off and screaming like a hogtied pterodactyl? You know *THAT* look. That look that says "Get your kid under control" as I'm trying to get him back into his stroller and he's pretending that he's a starfish with rigor while screaming ... The "helpful" comments as I'm trying to keep him under control as his sister is taking part in her science fair. Nooone ever approaches the mum with the tantruming toddler to offer FRIENDLY help - in fact it's like a fallout zone of silence around us... and only those with grudges to bear enter.
I've been at this single parenting thing for a year now which granted isn't long in the grand scheme of things, but I have been on the receiving end of those looks, and tuts, and comments - and I don't want to feel like that on vacation, I want happy times!

You are not alone in feeling apprehensive. We all know those looks (and even those comments). I understand where you are coming from too. You don't want to spend all of that money and have an awkward or uncomfortable experience.

 

[bumbershoot]

Oh, you can tell. When the toddler is kicking off and screaming like a hogtied pterodactyl? You know *THAT* look. That look that says "Get your kid under control" as I'm trying to get him back into his stroller and he's pretending that he's a starfish with rigor while screaming ... The "helpful" comments as I'm trying to keep him under control as his sister is taking part in her science fair. Nooone ever approaches the mum with the tantruming toddler to offer FRIENDLY help - in fact it's like a fallout zone of silence around us... and only those with grudges to bear enter.

Being single has nothing to do with feeling like you're getting looks. At-home moms spend tons of time with kids alone in public and their kids do all that.

When DS was little I felt like you, that no one ever offered to help.

And as time went on I realized I was almost certainly seeing it ALL wrong. When DS as freaking out in the family play area at a festival, a few hours before I finally realized that his issue was eating corn syrup, I felt all alone. But thinking about what a kind expression from a stranger might look like while DS was smashing my face, head butting me and kicking me, I doubt that I could have identified that look. There were almost certainly kind people there who simply didn't know how to help.

Life becomes much better when you see other people in that light rather than taking everything as a bad look.

As for actual comments when you have the mental space to truly hear them, people do that no matter what.

DS got a comment from some lady who thought he wasn't being polite *enough*. He said excuse me or thank you or something, and she focused on a perceived look on his face and commented on it. She was wrong about his attitude, and that goes to show you how easy it is to misunderstand what intentions and the meaning of looks are, especially when you're in an emotionally charged situation.

 

[Sunshine2U]

I'm another who would suggest you wait until your little one is 3. But I need to admit this advice is based on my own limitations and, yes, desire for some alone time. If money were not an object I would book two cabins and bring a nanny, or friend who is willing to help. (note you would book one child in the cabin with the nanny, even if she actually stays with you)