Single parenting & Cruises

[La Tomate]

Hi...

Looking for opinions please... I am a recent single parent, and have a DD7 and DS1. I have been struggling to give them "proper" vacations this year as, quite frankly, they're a lot of work at these ages and Momma was stressed!!!

... so I thought that perhaps a cruise would be a good idea next year. My logic being - self contained, clubs for the kiddos (they'll be 8 and 2 by then, fall babies) which may mean some time for this exhausted momma. But I want to make sure that we have those family memories, but then I also don't want to be a norman-no-mates and having 283 judgmental looks every day for being the lone solo mum.

Am I crazy? Should I just give up hope of family vacations for the next few years? Or is a cruise the way forward?

Thanks!

 

[NMDisneyMom]

Don't give up on vacations. I'm a single mom by choice and have been traveling with my DD since she was 2. Cruising is great for the reasons you listed, but keep in mind that the 2 year old will only be allowed in the nursery and you do have to pay for that time. What I found when my DD was younger, is that if I brought another adult with me, it really helped. I didn't feel like I had to be on go all the time. If you are really wanting to utilize the kids clubs, waiting until your DS is 3 and potty trained would be the way to go.

I say go for it. It really is relaxing. If you decide to book a cruise, sign up with the cruise meet group and make some friends. That's what I did. And it was awesome. And you won't get judgmental looks. I'll share a short story. Our first cruise, my DD was 4. We were at the pool and she had to go potty and wanted to go by herself. It was right by our chairs so I said sure. I'm sitting there talking with another mom, waiting for her to come out. The other mom starting laughing and said "you better look over there". Here comes my DD back from the restroom, with her bikini bottoms in her hand! She couldn't get them back on. We all just laughed and went on enjoying the day (after I helped her put her bottoms back on).

 

[TestingH2O]

Good for you for wanting to make more special time together! It's too easy to get caught up in every day life and miss opportunities.

First, I would not worry about judgmental looks. The cast members certainly won't say anything, and if other passengers do, then let them ruin their own vacation by being rude. Besides, it is not uncommon for one parent to travel with kids because the other cannot get away. That's exactly what I did last spring.

Second, just be aware that the 2 year old would need to use the nursery which is for a fee. I think it's very reasonable at $9 an hour, but, depending on your experience, you may disagree. Also, be aware of some restrictions for the non-potty trained set like no pools. All that being said, DCL caters to kids and you LO would not be lacking in things to do.

I have found cruising to be the perfect vacation with my daughter. We get settled into a room one time, she is welcome everywhere, there are plenty of things for her to do, etc.

 

[Shanti]

Hi...

Looking for opinions please... I am a recent single parent, and have a DD7 and DS1. I have been struggling to give them "proper" vacations this year as, quite frankly, they're a lot of work at these ages and Momma was stressed!!!

... so I thought that perhaps a cruise would be a good idea next year. My logic being - self contained, clubs for the kiddos (they'll be 8 and 2 by then, fall babies) which may mean some time for this exhausted momma. But I want to make sure that we have those family memories, but then I also don't want to be a norman-no-mates and having 283 judgmental looks every day for being the lone solo mum.

Am I crazy? Should I just give up hope of family vacations for the next few years? Or is a cruise the way forward?

Thanks! Wendy

I've taken my son on many WDW vacations solo and on a Disney cruise, & have never had an issue besides feeling sad when it's over. Who in their right mind would judge a single mom who is making the effort to give her kids a lovely holiday? No one that I've ever interacted with on vacation. That's a non-issue. A Disney cruise is a great idea to have both fun and some down time for yourself. Enjoy!

Your family vacations will be no less magical because you, as the only adult in the group, will get to make all the decisions for each trip.

 

[tink1970]

Echo all of the above. DD and I travel frequently together (just the two of us) and I have never noticed any kind of looks from other passengers (well, except for the "how adorable" when she was little... ). Life is waaay too short and the kiddos grow up way too fast to skip out on opportunities for fun!

 

[dcassetta]

When you've decided on a date, I would absolutely recommend joining your cruise meet group. You may find that other single parents are traveling and you all could arrange for some get togethers with you and your kids.

 

[bumbershoot]

...but then I also don't want to be a norman-no-mates and having 283 judgmental looks every day for being the lone solo mum

How would anyone know you're solo? How would anyone know you're single?

And most importantly, how would you know what any stranger's *look* means? Just assume that they aren't looking at you AND that they are having an attack of gas OR thinking of something they just remembered when you think someone is giving you a look. Because those really are far more likely than someone actually thinking about a stranger long enough for a thought about the stranger to flit across their face.

 

[cruisesinflipflops]

I'm a solo/only parent and have been crude g with my boys since they were 7 & 10! Best vacations EVER! Everyone is happy! Kids have their clubs, momma has alone time and the spa. No cleaning, no meal prep, no driving! I love DCL and so do my boys. They love the independence of the clubs and ordering room service I've never had anyone judge and if they did who cares! I've also had awesome table mates so I'm not eating dinner alone. I highly recommend DCL for single parents. The only drawback is cost

 

[socababy]

I'm widowed and having been on many cruises just the kids and I. I have found that cruising has such a good balance for kids and myself. After I took my first one, I was hooked. You're going to have some anxiety beforehand but I promise you you're anxiety will disappear once onboard and you'll actually relax and just have a good time!

Edited to add that you can request to dine at a private table if you're worried about being at a table with others and how your kids may behave. Plus it's a more bonding time for all of you!

 

[sdjen]

Just have to chime in to agree with everyone. My daughter and I have been on 5 DCL cruises and love them! Our first one was when she was 5. As a single parent, they are a great option IMO. The kids can enjoy the kids clubs and you get a little relaxation time. I really enjoy the spa and rainforest room. With your youngest, you may not be able to do the kids clubs but can use the nursery. I would also second the suggestion to join the meet group for your cruise. On one cruise, I connected with another single mom and we had a great time (and so did the kids). Don't be shy to dine at Palo too. The cruise would be way easier and less stressful than trying to do the parks! I would also say that if you aren't used to traveling much, I would stay with DCL excursions. Having a group might make you feel safer. Be aware that a lot of the excursions don't allow little ones under a certain age. Have fun!

 

[MeliMel702]

Don't feel ashamed about being a single mom. I'm a widowed single Mom of two. I was already trying to file for divorce while he was in another country when he passed away. I always try to make little getaways with my daughters. Usually to California to visit friends and family. Our biggest vacations were a 1 day at Knotts Berry Farm, 2 days at the Beach and Our 3 day park hopper to Disneyland. It took a while to save up for each vacation. Your children will appreciate your effort to spend time with them.

 

[La Tomate]

How would anyone know you're solo? How would anyone know you're single?

And most importantly, how would you know what any stranger's *look* means? Just assume that they aren't looking at you AND that they are having an attack of gas OR thinking of something they just remembered when you think someone is giving you a look. Because those really are far more likely than someone actually thinking about a stranger long enough for a thought about the stranger to flit across their face.

Oh, you can tell. When the toddler is kicking off and screaming like a hogtied pterodactyl? You know *THAT* look. That look that says "Get your kid under control" as I'm trying to get him back into his stroller and he's pretending that he's a starfish with rigor while screaming ... The "helpful" comments as I'm trying to keep him under control as his sister is taking part in her science fair. Nooone ever approaches the mum with the tantruming toddler to offer FRIENDLY help - in fact it's like a fallout zone of silence around us... and only those with grudges to bear enter.
I've been at this single parenting thing for a year now which granted isn't long in the grand scheme of things, but I have been on the receiving end of those looks, and tuts, and comments - and I don't want to feel like that on vacation, I want happy times!

 

[La Tomate]

I'm a solo/only parent and have been crude g with my boys since they were 7 & 10! Best vacations EVER! Everyone is happy! Kids have their clubs, momma has alone time and the spa. No cleaning, no meal prep, no driving! I love DCL and so do my boys. They love the independence of the clubs and ordering room service I've never had anyone judge and if they did who cares! I've also had awesome table mates so I'm not eating dinner alone. I highly recommend DCL for single parents. The only drawback is cost

Yah, the cost is why I wanted to do some research and reach out - make sure that this isn't going to be thousands of dollars down the drain

 

[La Tomate]

I'm widowed and having been on many cruises just the kids and I. I have found that cruising has such a good balance for kids and myself. After I took my first one, I was hooked. You're going to have some anxiety beforehand but I promise you you're anxiety will disappear once onboard and you'll actually relax and just have a good time!

Edited to add that you can request to dine at a private table if you're worried about being at a table with others and how your kids may behave. Plus it's a more bonding time for all of you!

Oh really re: dining? Because that is one area where my DS is NOT very good at cooperating yet. Perhaps by next year he'll be more settled - but he still likes to eat with his hands and cutlery, and most days he doesn't like to sit in his booster with the seat belt on... and eating in public has become quite stressful - I try perhaps once a month as I want him to get used to eating out, and I want to feel like a human
It's good to have options!

 

[La Tomate]

Just have to chime in to agree with everyone. My daughter and I have been on 5 DCL cruises and love them! Our first one was when she was 5. As a single parent, they are a great option IMO. The kids can enjoy the kids clubs and you get a little relaxation time. I really enjoy the spa and rainforest room. With your youngest, you may not be able to do the kids clubs but can use the nursery. I would also second the suggestion to join the meet group for your cruise. On one cruise, I connected with another single mom and we had a great time (and so did the kids). Don't be shy to dine at Palo too. The cruise would be way easier and less stressful than trying to do the parks! I would also say that if you aren't used to traveling much, I would stay with DCL excursions. Having a group might make you feel safer. Be aware that a lot of the excursions don't allow little ones under a certain age. Have fun!

Yes, I wouldn't want to try the parks on my own with the wee guy until he's older and needs perhaps only one nap a day! We did WDW when ex was still around and DD was 5yo. That was a good time, imho.

 

[La Tomate]

Don't feel ashamed about being a single mom. I'm a widowed single Mom of two. I was already trying to file for divorce while he was in another country when he passed away. I always try to make little getaways with my daughters. Usually to California to visit friends and family. Our biggest vacations were a 1 day at Knotts Berry Farm, 2 days at the Beach and Our 3 day park hopper to Disneyland. It took a while to save up for each vacation. Your children will appreciate your effort to spend time with them.

I hope so (re: appreciate my efforts) I do a lot of simple crafts and cooking etc with them as that's what I remember of my parents and my childhood. So far, one weekend away at a cottage up north is all that I've managed re: Vacations. We used to camp 4 or 5 times a year, and I'm way to intimidated to try camping with them just yet. We have had some fun day outs though, and I'm going to try and take them to Niagara Falls before school goes back.

 

[wl1117]

I'm not a single parent, however I have cruised solo with my daughter. It was really nice and I remember absolutely no judgements from anyone. I doubt most people had a clue it was just the 2 of us onboard. We had a lot of good one-on-one time together, as well as a bit of "me" time when she wanted to go to the club. I cannot remember the last time I could do exactly what I wanted alone. Perfect.

 

[tlprice]

I have been a single parent for 7 years, since my daughter was 2. We take tons of trips together. We did a 45 day road trip, including 11 national parks, when she was 3. We did a month long road trip last year. We have gone to WDW every year of her life. Last year we went on our first Disney Cruise. I was worried about being a single parent before the trip. It was a great trip. We got so much fun time together and we each also got plenty of time to do what we each wanted on our own. At dinner we were seated with 2 other single mothers each with a child about the same age as my daughter. It was nice to have adult conversations with other people like me. The three kids LOVED each other and looked forward to hanging out with each other at dinner every night. We were usually the last ones in the dining room every night because we were all having such a good time. We had such a great time that we are going on our 2nd Disney cruise in October. I say go for it. Teach your kids young to enjoy travelling and you will have so many fun times ahead with them.

 

[MaleficentRN]

I can't say I've ever notice who was with who on any cruise I've been on. Or on any trip for that matter. I often travel with my kids without my husband. It was exhausting when they were younger. It gets easier.
With that, may I suggest that you wait until your youngest is three? Then you can leave them at the kids club for some "mommy time" or time alone with your oldest without the added expense of the nursery.

 

[La Tomate]

Teach your kids young to enjoy travelling and you will have so many fun times ahead with them.

^^^^^^^^ THIS. This is what I want for my wee family. I want to ENJOY taking them places, and to be fair to my DD - she isn't a lot of work, it is my sweet DS1 (almost 2), he's a normal toddler, but OY! what a boy he is and I don't want to upset other people with him and his feral ways.