Single men over 30, what would you think if ....

[Disney1fan2002]

your brother/sister wanted to name you guardian of 3 children, should something happen to them?

For years, my DH and I have been trying to decide who would get our children if, God forbid, something happened to both of us. Perfect choice, my sister. but, she has already raised 5 kids, and she finally has a "life" now that her kids are grown up. No matter how much she says she wouldn't mind, I would not do that to her. We decided on my brother and his wife, until they had a child of their own, and we can see they are really warped on how they are raising her. I will not be able to rest in the Afterlife, if they were my children's guardian.

Dh's brother and his wife. Years ago, when the kids were babies, I said no way, SIL was way to eccentric with her kids. Just too strange for me, but she seems to have become more "normal" as her kids are getting older, so they would not be a bad choice, only they live in CA, and every other extended member of my children's family is here in MA. I don't want them moving 3000 miles away from my family, and the only grandparents they have, DH's parents.

the next "best" choice, if it can't be my sister, would be Dh's single brother. he is hard working, responsible, and is very attentive to the kids. He knows exactly what to buy them at Christmas and birthday's the be the "bestest" Uncle. Heck, he even buys me perfect Christmas presents. He got me a book on the show Lost for Christmas, and I never even told him I watched the show, nevermind being obsessed with it. He just said he "figured I must be into it"

Anyway, he is someone who could give my kids a great life. The only thing holding us back on asking him to be named guardian, is he is single. Not that he is a wild, partying guy, but he likes to travel, and go fishing, and do a lot of things by himself. He is going to be 31 in August, so I am sure, if he had to, he would be willing to settle down. But I am not to sure he would like it. he loves his nephews and niece, I am sure, but this would be a huge life changing event.

If you are single and over 30, could you become an "uncle Bill?" (Family Affair)

 

[Forevryoung]

Family is Family-

What's really the difference between asking your sister who has "been there/done that" and asking your brother who "hasn't done it yet"?

I would think it is easier to raise children once you have already raised children as opposed to having never raised children before- stepping into that role in that situation would be difficult enough. (I dont have children and I'm not a guy)

Go with what feels right.

 

[disykat]

My sister is single, childless, and in her 40s. My brother and his wife are childfree in thier 40s. It would be a huge adjustment for either of them. My sister is listed as their guardian, but we made it clear to her that if it was too big of an adjustment that we totally trusted her to decide where they were to live.

We are very good friends with another childfree couple that might have an easier time taking them. My sister will decide what's best. I think the biggest thing for her was fear - and knowing that she would have money left for them and people that could help her, and even take them if necessary, was a relief.

 

[NJOYURLIFE]

Honestly, you don't want to have your sister be the guardian but you would "do that" to your BIL. That is alot to ask a single guy to take on. Have you discussed it with him?

I'd be worried that if anything happened how would raising 3 children change his life. Would he be able to eventually get married? That is alot for a new bride to take on. The other thing is that when he gets married what if he marries a first class witch. Would he have any kind of support system?

I think most family members would step in if the unthinkable happened, but I do think you should consider your sister again.

We have 3 children also and it is very tuff. My sister is the single one and not very good with children. Don't get me wrong, she is a very good aunt, but I am not sure how she would handle giving up her lifestyle if something happens. Our only other alternative is out of state relatives (not thrilled about possibly moving them out of state, especially if they have already suffered a major trauma by losing us). We ended up giving her first "dibs" with the understanding that she can decide at the time if she is up to it and if not then the alternative would kick in. I think alot for her would depend on if my mom or my husband's parent's were alive and good health and could possible give some support.

I also think about once the older 2 become 18, should we name of one them as guardian for youngest one?

Oh boy, I just pray everyday that nothing happens.