Single Lesbians? Are you out there?

TayjaDanger

Mouseketeer
Joined
Aug 6, 2011
Yes! My sister's husband was anti-Dis, crab face about it. Instant convert haha. And I agree, that stuff makes me happy for them and the representation but jealousy pings around my heart at the same time.
I've been on OKC foreeeever. Ugh. Let us know how that goes :)
Why is it so hard to find a date on OKC?! (I was so glad to be "done" dating...) man it is just as dreary (if not more so) than it was the last time I checked it out. So ready to find the woman of my dreams and settle down, like, tomorrow! Or at latest next week. I think I'm just at that stage in my life where I am done playing all the games. I'll keep ya posted. So far, nothin! :)
 

MeridAriel

Mouseketeer
Joined
Nov 18, 2014
Why is it so hard to find a date on OKC?! (I was so glad to be "done" dating...) man it is just as dreary (if not more so) than it was the last time I checked it out. So ready to find the woman of my dreams and settle down, like, tomorrow! Or at latest next week. I think I'm just at that stage in my life where I am done playing all the games. I'll keep ya posted. So far, nothin! :)
Yea, I have lost any and all patience for dating. I've grown to dread it. I feel like it's either couples (no thanks, what part of "gay" on my profile do you think equals me wanting your husband? Ew!), straight women looking for guinea pigs (I am a decade past being anybody's science project), or women looking to uhaul next week. Ugh. It's a shame this thread is so dead, or we should start a meet up or video chat thing :)
 

ashley0139

DIS Veteran
Joined
Sep 24, 2009
Why is it so hard to find a date on OKC?! (I was so glad to be "done" dating...) man it is just as dreary (if not more so) than it was the last time I checked it out. So ready to find the woman of my dreams and settle down, like, tomorrow! Or at latest next week. I think I'm just at that stage in my life where I am done playing all the games. I'll keep ya posted. So far, nothin! :)
I feel you 100%. I even paid for A-list, and I never even get views anymore. I used to get hundreds. I wonder if the site itself has slowed down. It's so frustrating.

Yea, I have lost any and all patience for dating. I've grown to dread it. I feel like it's either couples (no thanks, what part of "gay" on my profile do you think equals me wanting your husband? Ew!), straight women looking for guinea pigs (I am a decade past being anybody's science project), or women looking to uhaul next week. Ugh. It's a shame this thread is so dead, or we should start a meet up or video chat thing :)
I don't meet people in real life, I don't meet people on dating sites....where am I supposed to meet people??? I agree, we should get this thread to life a bit. :)
 
  • TayjaDanger

    Mouseketeer
    Joined
    Aug 6, 2011
    Yea, I have lost any and all patience for dating. I've grown to dread it. I feel like it's either couples (no thanks, what part of "gay" on my profile do you think equals me wanting your husband? Ew!), straight women looking for guinea pigs (I am a decade past being anybody's science project), or women looking to uhaul next week. Ugh. It's a shame this thread is so dead, or we should start a meet up or video chat thing :)
    I'm with you--no thanks to the couples and the clingy and "experimenters"!!!
    I always think I'll meet someone sometime--when I went back to school, changed schools, got a job here, there, etc. Nobody meets in real life anymore (do they?!) and dating is like an online game... Not a very fun one to play tbh. I don't have a lot of enthusiasm for it, but then again ladies aren't knocking down my door to come drag me out of my apartment. So I feel like it's the least I can do, to have my online profile around, but it is dismal.
    I'm not into the club scene (and our lesbian bar closed years ago anyway) and I'm not sure I want to date someone who is really into the bar/club scene because it's just not me. My solution to meeting women (that I at least have some things in common with) was to start a queer book club with some friends. I haven't gotten it officially going yet, but have a few interested people and we're trying to decide what book to start with and where to hold it. So I think that's fairly proactive?
    I'm all for reviving this thread though!
     

    TayjaDanger

    Mouseketeer
    Joined
    Aug 6, 2011
    I feel you 100%. I even paid for A-list, and I never even get views anymore. I used to get hundreds. I wonder if the site itself has slowed down. It's so frustrating.

    I don't meet people in real life, I don't meet people on dating sites....where am I supposed to meet people??? I agree, we should get this thread to life a bit. :)
    I FEEL YOU! The struggle is REAL! That's interesting about the A list--maybe it is slowing down? I heard/read something about how dating sites were making it "too easy" to date and therefore people were not as likely to find meaningful relationships. Basically it boiled down to "you have some idiosyncratic behaviors, rather than deal with you as a whole human being and take your flaws with your best qualities, I'll just go find someone else, there's plenty of fish in the sea--look here are 2,000 other women, I'm sure most of them are perfect for me!"
    So people are becoming more fickle in the face of so much variety and getting a lot more selective. Which, yes, definitely be selective! Don't date someone who's bad for you or toxic, but accept that all people have some flaws or issues and some amount of baggage*, and find a way to deal with it instead of just abandoning ship at the merest provocation.
    *caveat: except for me I'm perfect! Bwahahahah!
    It's just hard, dating is miserable until you find someone you like and who likes you back, and then that's a whole other can of worms!
     

    ashley0139

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Sep 24, 2009
    I FEEL YOU! The struggle is REAL! That's interesting about the A list--maybe it is slowing down? I heard/read something about how dating sites were making it "too easy" to date and therefore people were not as likely to find meaningful relationships. Basically it boiled down to "you have some idiosyncratic behaviors, rather than deal with you as a whole human being and take your flaws with your best qualities, I'll just go find someone else, there's plenty of fish in the sea--look here are 2,000 other women, I'm sure most of them are perfect for me!"
    So people are becoming more fickle in the face of so much variety and getting a lot more selective. Which, yes, definitely be selective! Don't date someone who's bad for you or toxic, but accept that all people have some flaws or issues and some amount of baggage*, and find a way to deal with it instead of just abandoning ship at the merest provocation.
    *caveat: except for me I'm perfect! Bwahahahah!
    It's just hard, dating is miserable until you find someone you like and who likes you back, and then that's a whole other can of worms!
    This is interesting. I'm definitely selective on dating sites. It's hard, because pretty much the only thing you have to go on at first is physical appearance. I tend to not find someone attractive immediately - once I get to know them the attraction comes after. I am also a femme who is attracted to femmes. So I only message/"like" girls that look like generally who I would be attracted to. It's hard when that's the first thing you have to go on. I'm trying to reach out and meet more people in person these days, but it's very hard.
     

    MeridAriel

    Mouseketeer
    Joined
    Nov 18, 2014
    This is interesting. I'm definitely selective on dating sites. It's hard, because pretty much the only thing you have to go on at first is physical appearance. I tend to not find someone attractive immediately - once I get to know them the attraction comes after. I am also a femme who is attracted to femmes. So I only message/"like" girls that look like generally who I would be attracted to. It's hard when that's the first thing you have to go on. I'm trying to reach out and meet more people in person these days, but it's very hard.
    You and me both, lady! I either am a sitting duck for creepy dudes who think I couldn't possibly *actually* be gay, or I don't throw out enough gay vibes for the other queer femmes to notice. Le sigh.
    Holy smokes, though, I leave town for the weekend and come back to more activity on this thread than I have seen in ages haha. I am totally down for getting more activity going on here- a fb group, online chat thing, online book club, chat club...whatever- or some other social appy thing that I don't know about (really, fb & this are the only social media I do-I'm totally oblivious about the other tech stuff).
     
  • ashley0139

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Sep 24, 2009
    You and me both, lady! I either am a sitting duck for creepy dudes who think I couldn't possibly *actually* be gay, or I don't throw out enough gay vibes for the other queer femmes to notice. Le sigh.
    Holy smokes, though, I leave town for the weekend and come back to more activity on this thread than I have seen in ages haha. I am totally down for getting more activity going on here- a fb group, online chat thing, online book club, chat club...whatever- or some other social appy thing that I don't know about (really, fb & this are the only social media I do-I'm totally oblivious about the other tech stuff).
    Yes, I'm very shy so I have a hard time approaching other people. And they never approach me because they don't know I'm gay! Hard life. ;)

    It seems like there are maybe 3 of us that are actually active, haha. But we should definitely get a chat of some kind going.
     

    MeridAriel

    Mouseketeer
    Joined
    Nov 18, 2014
    Yes, I'm very shy so I have a hard time approaching other people. And they never approach me because they don't know I'm gay! Hard life. ;)

    It seems like there are maybe 3 of us that are actually active, haha. But we should definitely get a chat of some kind going.
    Once in a while we get a straggler that shows up to ask questions and introduce herself :) ...and then she goes silent. Or meets & uhauls with someone before anyone can respond. Seriously though, someone started talking to me on here immediately post break-up (hers, not mine) a couple months ago & is now living with someone (not her ex) & buying a house hahaha. Way to perpetuate the stereotype.
     

    ashley0139

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Sep 24, 2009
    Once in a while we get a straggler that shows up to ask questions and introduce herself :) ...and then she goes silent. Or meets & uhauls with someone before anyone can respond. Seriously though, someone started talking to me on here immediately post break-up (hers, not mine) a couple months ago & is now living with someone (not her ex) & buying a house hahaha. Way to perpetuate the stereotype.
    Wow wow wow. That's crazy. I've been on and off this thread for years, but when it's not getting much action I tend to forget about it, and it becomes a vicious circle, haha. Maybe we should make a Facebook group?
     

    Terri_Berri

    Earning My Ears
    Joined
    May 3, 2016
    I don't know if I'm even welcome in this thread:(

    I got dumped and have almost no chance of meeting anyone. We had a trip planned for September to Disneyland for my birthday and that's gone too. So depressed. So very painfully depressed.
     
  • ashley0139

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Sep 24, 2009
    I don't know if I'm even welcome in this thread:(

    I got dumped and have almost no chance of meeting anyone. We had a trip planned for September to Disneyland for my birthday and that's gone too. So depressed. So very painfully depressed.
    Why wouldn't you be welcome? Are you single? Are you a lesbian? Or bi? You're welcome.
     

    MeridAriel

    Mouseketeer
    Joined
    Nov 18, 2014
    Agreed, you're definitely welcome. I feel that so long as you are legitimately interested in women (regardless of your interest in or attraction to anyone else), this is where you belong. No creepy dudes here...and unfortunately almost no women either haha. And I'm down for a fb group :)
     

    mellers

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Aug 4, 2007
    Don't know if anyone would be interested but my daughter (20-year-old single lesbian) and I (46-year-old boring straight mom in a wheelchair) are going to Gay Days Anaheim in September. My daughter had a health crisis and had to leave college--she's going back in January, so we thought we'd try to hit Gay Days before she was back in the thick of everything. Would anybody like to meet up? She is the world's biggest Disneyland fan, and very excited to go. In particular, if anyone's from Victoria, BC, she's going to be attending UVic in January, studying Comp Sci.
     

    MeridAriel

    Mouseketeer
    Joined
    Nov 18, 2014
    Aw, you sound like such an amazing ally of a mom! <3 Can never had too many dis friends, alas, I am in Chicago, traveling to Europe soon, so my Dis funds will be fairly depleted until further notice. But I hope you two can find some new friends while you're there!
     

    Terri_Berri

    Earning My Ears
    Joined
    May 3, 2016
    Why wouldn't you be welcome? Are you single? Are you a lesbian? Or bi? You're welcome.
    Agreed, you're definitely welcome. I feel that so long as you are legitimately interested in women (regardless of your interest in or attraction to anyone else), this is where you belong. No creepy dudes here...and unfortunately almost no women either haha. And I'm down for a fb group :)
    Thank you both so much for the warm welcome:)
     

    TayjaDanger

    Mouseketeer
    Joined
    Aug 6, 2011
    Well we ladies have to be responsible for keeping things like this thread alive... even of it's just to complain/commiserate! Just kidding, as a single person I manage to find many things to be happy about and great satisfaction in my daily life with friends, hobbies, work, etc. I would say that, now that the post-breakup blues are officially over for me, I'm having a great time! I went out dancing with some friends last night at the Lez Do It (queer takeover of a bar) and it was great! I am not sure when the last time I had fun out dancing was... months and months ago! I wore my seven dwarfs skirt and attracted the attention of a rando who was telling me all about their childhood growing up in California with an annual pass. Swoon! Not really my type (so so young! maybe 21 or 22?) but fun to talk to for a night.
    Wish there were more Dis fans in Portland though. I'd join a fb group if someone else started it. I also love the idea of an online queer book club!
     

    TayjaDanger

    Mouseketeer
    Joined
    Aug 6, 2011
    Well, I think some of us were looking to start a fb group, and invite more people as we go along. As I'm pretty sure people are more active on fb than here anyway :)
    Count me in! I don't always have time to check in on dis (unless I'm obsessing about trip planning!) but I can manage some fb time fairly regularly. :)
     





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