Single Ladies - Ever think of having a baby/becoming a mom by yourself?

[Wonders10]

Hi everyone,

I turned 29 in May. Yes I know that it's not old. BUT I have started to get a huge case of baby fever. It's been on and off for about a year and the past few months it is really kicking in. Currently I am single and not dating anybody so it's not like I have any prospects for a husband in the wings, although I know something like that could happen at a moments notice. But my single-ness did get me thinking that, what if I'm 35 and still single and not dating? Why should I have to give up the idea of being a mommy because I haven't found a husband? So that got me thinking - assuming I am financially secure enough to raise a child, I would seriously consider adopting or other means so that I could actually experience being pregnant. I think many people would think that is crazy to purposely become a single parent. Yes I agree it would have its challenges, but I grew up the product of a single parent. My mom divorced when I was a baby and my father was not involved at all. She had the support of her parents and I know that my mom, as well as the rest of my family, would also support me (not financially - you know).

So anyway, is this totally crazy to even be thinking about this? Have any other single gals thought about this?

 

[alexandria674]

Honestly, if something happened to my fiance and I had my kid. I wouldn't be afraid I do think it would be harder but then again, that is life. Even if I wasn't engaged and I wanted a kid well, knowing that I had my family's support would be enough and I would have one.

 

[karibritt01]

Not single, but married with 2 kids. My husband works 2 jobs, and is seldom home at nights and on the weekends, so I am a single parent in many aspects. I think only you can determine if you are financially able to support yourself and a child on your income. If it would require a second job to make it through, then it is probably not the right time to consider this. Emotionally, it is tough to be at home all the time with a child. There are times when you just want to crawl in your bed and have time alone, but that rarely happens for a single parent. You will need to have a strong support network in place - parents, friends, family, etc.

Raising kids is a wonderful experience, and I wish you all the best if you decide to pursue this.

 

[Janet Hill]

Not me, but a coworker did this. She was 38, single and no prospects. She had a good job and owned her own home. She adopted a girl from Russia. She told me it was very expensive, but her parents actually paid for the adoption costs as a gift to her. After she got the girl, she paid for everything on her own. She's extremely happy she did this.

 

[Wonders10]

Definitely not thinking of doing it right this second. Still way too young to feel the clock ticking that much. Also, I'm saving to buy my first home and I'd like to just save money in general. I think I will know in a few years...like my heart will tell me it is time to have a child. But I guess I worry about what others think at the same time (which is probably another indication that I'm not ready to be a mom). I've always been the one in the family to do what no one expects of me when it comes to the big life decisions so I guess this would be no different.

 

[Judy from Boise]

If I was in a place both financially, and a social support network, I would.

 

[luvmarypoppins]

My sister was 31 and decided to adopt a child internationally. It was tons of paperwork and pretty expensive, guess it depends on the agency you use. She lived upstairs in my moms house, it was a 2 family house and she had everythig she needed up there. Sadly during the process my sister died. But I knew this is what she had chosen to do and she was very happy about it.

There is a girl from my church who just had a child. I dont want to ask her too many questions, but I know she is older and I think this was planned for her to be a mom on her own.

Its a very personal decision and best of luck whatever you decide. Also even before my sis was getting the baby, the agency insisted she get a will that would name a guaradian for the child etc. So lots to think about, not just the financial aspects etc. Her paperwork asked incredible stuff like who will be the male role models in your childs life etc. Not saying this is normal stuff, just if you go this route etc.

 

[JEmaryland]

I'm not single, I'm married but I have no kids yet. I would only do this if there was someone in my life (not necessarily a significant other, but a relative or close friend) to be a good male role model for my child.